Sign Up for the Daily TV Fodder Newsletter       
buy prednisone online no prescription buy zithromax buy strattera online no prescription payday loans buy clomid buy valtrex online buy buspar no prescription buy atarax online buy diflucan buy buspar no prescription

True Blood Fodder

True Blood: 9 Crimes - Review

I don't know about anybody else but this episode left me feeling a little off-balance and wanting more. One the one hand, I feel like they introduced some neat stuff, but on the other I feel like I caught a whiff of something good cooking in the kitchen but they just served the last entrée to someone else.

Here's a nice interview with Nelsan "Lafayette" Ellis talking about playing gay and working with Tyler Perry.

Let's get to it!

The ep opens with Alcide conveniently shirtless and Sookie tending to Alcide's wounds incurred in last week's were-bar fight. Alcide is disturbed to find out that werewolves are doing V. But foremost in Alcides canine frontal lobe is being all moony-eyed (sorry...bad werewolf pun) over his ex-fiancée, Debbie. She dumped him because she wants to take up with a new pack and get branded. Sookie's phone rings: It's Bill, and he's giving her the old "It's not you, it's me..." speech. Sookie retorts with a spiffy, "STFU!" Lorena, eavesdropping over Bill's shoulder pops in with a snappy, "Ca va." Which I believe is French for, "I got your man, Skank." Those French. Handy bit of True Blood Trivia - Sookie does not have a nut sack. I Didn't think she did, but hey, it's always nice to have confirmation on these things.

Sam breaks Cardinal Rule # 7. He goes a-knockin' on the door of a van that's a-rockin. Turns out Sam's new/old family lost their home and are now living in a van down by the river. Pops is looking for a gig as a motivational speaker. Mom is just looking for some roadkill for dinner. Sam's brother is looking for his pants.

Franklin has Tara all glamoured, and she can't spill her guts about Bill and Sookie and Jason fast enough. Under Frankiin's influence, Tara calls Sookie to try to find out where she is. Sookie fails to pony up her exact location, so Franklin bites Tara, duct tapes her pie-hole shut, kidnaps her, and it's off to Mississippi to try to find her.

Lorena is afterglowing with Bill, and returning her neck and head to their proper rotation. Their rape-sex was for her an eleven, but for Bill it was somewhere between a sharp stick in the eye and a sharp stake in the chest. One gets the distinct impression that Bill's non-beating heart is not really in his newfound loyalty to King Russell.

Eric, daydreaming, or would that be night-dreaming, or let's just call it fantasizing, does a nice little impromptu "Lost Boys" impression by showing up at Sookie's hotel and hovering outside her fourth floor window. But it gives Sookie a good excuse to drop her robe and reveal some serious hotness going on. Somebody has been getting some in serious gym time. Or maybe P90X. Even though Bill told her that he does not want her to look for him, she's going to anyway. That's our Sookie. Hot and dumb.

What's not our Sookie is what Alcide's sister makes her up as; specifically, a were-groupie, what with the brunette wig and the rub-on tramp stamp and the hooker clothes. Alcide's sister gives a nice little wise-beyond-her-years speech about love and life and relationships, and draws a nice little parallel between Alcide and Debbie and Sookie and Bill. Something like Caring and sharing good, necrophilia bad.

At Merlotte's Jason is getting jealous over the young hotshot Bon Temps quarterback who's about to break Jason's records. Jason gives him an earful about perspective and respect. Really though, Jason just pulls off the Statue of Liberty play and swipes the kid's pitcher of beer. And oh, by the way, Jason is tired of living off his past exploits and shagging every hot chick within a 100 mile radius. That sort of thing does get tiresome after 10 or 20 years. He has his sights on becoming one of Bon Temps' finest. And now that Sheriff Bud Dearborn is retiring, and Andy Bellefleur is to be the temporary sheriff, Jason thinks he's got the goods on Andy to fast-track his way to the uniform.

Bill and King Russell are discussing Bill's Roles and Responsibilities. Bill is to tell Russell everything that Sophie-Anne is up to, and in return, Bill wants Lorena gone. As in done. As in dee-yew-enn Dun. Russell thinks he might maybe could make that happen. So Bill drops the proverbial dime on Eric, telling Russell that Eric has been dealing V per Sophie-Anne's orders. Veeerrry interestink. But schtupitt.

Sam Merlotte has hired himself a new waitress, Jessica. Arlene's constant harping that she's the only waitress who actually waitresses has finally paid off. But Arlene is right about one other thing. Up til now, she's been the only red-headed waitress at Merlotte's. This is bound to create some confusion amongst the clientele. But not with Chip. Chip is Jessica's old Bible School pal from the days when Jessica still had days. Pre-vampire days, that is. Jessica glamours the poor dumb thumper and sends him on his merry, but hungry, way.

Lafayette is trying to make good on his V selling agreement with Eric. It really wasn't so much of an agreement as a threat, but at least Lafayette is trying. And Lafayette can be very trying, as a bunch of good ol' boys are trying to steal his new car and introduce Lafayette to a world of hurt. Eric shows up at the last moment, like Dudley Do-right, just as things gets truly nasty and closes the deal. He also closes the good ol' boy's windpipe, but the deal is done. Eric and Lafayette are having a bit of a heart-to-heart (being only one beating heart short) when Eric gets a shout-out from Pam: Fangtasia is getting raided. Not by the police, but by the Magister. Eric lowers the passenger side window and James-Bond-ejector-seats himself the hell outta there.

Sam locates his brother, and they have a nice chat about family and shape-shifting and leaving pants where one can easily locate them and getting poison ivy in the darnedest places. The boys get together with Mom and Pops (thankfully wearing pants, but you just know those grey undies are lurking under there somewhere), and Sam agrees to set them up in a little place that he has if they'll just stop stealing and mooching and drinking, at least until they can get back on their (two) feet.

Tara and Franklin arrive at King Russell's place. They get into it with Russell's boy-bitch, Talbot. Russell's not home. He and Lorena and Bill have gone out. Bill used to procure (humans) for Sophie-Anne, and now he's going to put his talents to use for Russell. While Bill is in the strip joint scoping out the talent and getting a lap dance, Russell takes off for parts unknown.

Sookie and Alcide are at the were-bar slammin' shots and howling at the moon, figuratively and literally. Alcide's ex Debbie shows up and starts to mix it up with Sookie. Sookie does a quick mind-scan of the crowd and discovers that Debbie's new fiancé, Coot, is one of the guys who kidnapped Bill.

Eric arrives at Fangtasia to find a very upset magister. He has discovered the stash of V, and has tied Pam to the stripper pole making her earn her $17 the hard way. In a brilliant flash of insightful self-survival, Pam "confesses" that Bill Compton is behind the whole V-selling ring. And Eric quickly agrees. The magister ain't quite buying what these two are selling, but he gives Eric two days to make his story right.

At the were-bar, Debbie's engagement party-slash-branding ritual is in full swing. The guest of honor has arrived, and it's none other than Russell Edgington, King of Mississippi. He opens a vein, supplies the party-goers with enough vampire blood to float a battleship, and offers up a toast to "...their collaboration throughout the ages." Sookie and Alcide give a collective "Whuh-huh?" As the vampire blood kicks in, all the werewolves start to morph into their lupine selves. Alcide is barely able to command Sookie to run before he turns all wolf-y himself.

As for Russell, after pouring shots for the crowd, he's able to get back to the strip joint before Bill brings out the evening's repast. Hope they tipped her well.

Posted by Randy Welk on July 11, 2010 11:47 PM
Permalink |

More Recent Stories:
True Blood: Trouble - Review
True Blood: 9 Crimes - Review
True Blood: It Hurts Me Too - Review
True Blood: Beautifully Broken - Review
True Blood: Bad Blood - Review
True Blood: Beyond Here Lies Nothin'
True Blood: Frenzy
True Blood: New World In My View
True Blood: I Will Rise Up
True Blood: Timebomb