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True Blood Fodder

True Blood: New World In My View

I'm not exactly sure what the title of this episode means. I am sure, however, that this blog is probably going to be a bit shorter than normal BECAUSE THE DAMN EPISODE WAS WAY SHORTER THAN NORMAL. There, I feel better now. Let's get to recappin'!

The episode opens with Sookie having just watched Godric go up like a marshmallow at a boy scout jamboree. She finds Eric in full pout mode. He needs comforting, and Sookie is just the girl to provide it. She kisses his blood tears, and they grope and kiss. If you need a visual, think Animal House when Otter has the sorority girl in the back of Flounder's car. But Sookie wakes up, and True Blood has officially used the Wakes From A Dream ploy too many times.

Sookie and Jason are homeward bound. So is Bill I guess, but Bill is encasketed in the back of the Anubis Air shuttle van. They arrive in Bon Temps to find it in complete and utter disarray and chaos. Why, there's even graffiti on the Welcome to Bon Temps Kiwanis and Jaycees sign. Whoever heard of such a thing? But it's the black oily-eyed revelers who throw themselves into the grill of the bus like drunk and depressed raccoons that tips off Jason and Sookie that things aren't as rosy as could be. If only Sookie and Jason had seen Maryann's meat sculpture in Sookie's front yard. Now THAT woulda been a tip-off.

Sam's still hiding in Andy's apartment. Andy comes home bearing food and clothes. Andy may be a drunk, but he don't need no nekkid tavern-keeper sitting on his furniture. Sam re-explains the sitch to Andy because Andy's recall has taken a powder. Maryann is supernatural and immortal, Sam tells Andy, and she wants my heart in a casserole dish. Right about then, Arlene calls Sam on his cell - he's urgently needed at Merlottes for a cardiac removal.

Jason calls the Bon Temps Sheriff's office and is dismayed to find nobody's home. Hoyt's mom, Maxine, wants to get herself some Jason, but she's about two hundred pounds and thirty years outside of his wheel-house. And her black oily eyes are a bit of a turn-off too. Jessica and Hoyt tell Sookie and Bill that everyone is gathered at Merlottes for the Tuesday night two-fer-one drink special and human sacrifice. Jason thinks the time is now for him to put all his Fellowship of the Sun training to good use.

Sam and Andy are at Merlottes, even though they know it's a trap and the bar is full of hidden patrons. And they're not hiding to jump out and wish Sam a Happy Birthday. Sam and Andy lock themselves in the walk-in cooler. At least they won't starve. Freeze to death maybe, but they won't starve.

Tara is tied to a chair intervention-style. Her mom, Lettie Mae, and Lafayette are conducting what has to be the lamest intervention in history. Even the Fox Reality Channel would've taken a pass on this one.

Sookie goes home. She really wants to see - and smell - Maryann's meat sculpture. Sookie's house is trashed like a frat house on Sunday morning. Sookie's cell rings, and it's Lafayette. Lafayette warns Sookie to get out of that house, but it's too late cuz Heeeere's Maryann! Bill tries to protect his little Sookie Wookie (about friggin' time!) so he takes a bite of Maryann. But Maryann tastes icky, and Bill instantly retches and vomits. Sookie grabs Maryann's face, and her hand starts to glow and Maryann is temporarily powerless. What are you?, Maryann wants to know. So does Sookie.

Jason rips the tarp off the bed of his pick-up truck and reveals a whole big stash of weapons and tools. Jason ties a bandanna around his head, rips his t-shirt, straps on an M-60 and a nail gun, slurs his speech, and goes all Rambo. He heads over to Merlottes and instead of his favorite local watering hole finds it a den of debauchery and delight. He tries to order everyone out by waving his nail gun around, but the crowd calls his bluff. They'd love to see him pop a couple of nails into Arlene's head. But the crowd leaves anyway, really confusing Jason. Like fake-throwing a ball for a golden retriever. Jason lets Andy and Sam out of the freezer just in time for the crowd to come back. Sam gives himself up to the crowd to protect Jason and Andy.

Sookie and Bill are trying to get their Tara back. Tara is still tied to a chair, but now she's chanting, Oh wah tuh goo Siam... Sookie tries to mind-read Tara, but she gets nowhere.

The Merlottes gang trusses up Sam in preparation for their god to appear. And lo and behold, he does! A mysterious-looking gas-masked shirtless-and-ripped character bearing a striking resemblance to Jason arises, basked in an eerie glow atop Jason's pick-up truck. I AM THE GOD WHO COMES, he says, AND YOUR WORK HERE IS DONE! GO HAVE GOOD CROPS AND LET SAM GO!! The crowd of revelers may not have a cumulative SAT score of 800, but they're not quite buying into this. Sam detects the brain trust behind this sham (Jason and Andy) and begs The Shirtless One to smite him. Jason smites Sam, and Sam dissolves into an empty pile of denim and flannel. The crowd is mystified by this and figures there's more fun to be had at Maryann's.

Bill and Sookie combine forces to get deep into Tara's psyche. Bill wooga-woogas her, and Sookie goes in deep and comes out with Tara. Sookie is spent, and needs some air. And makeup sex. It has, after all, been several episodes since she and Bill argued and made up. Bill realizes who and\or what Maryann just might be, and he knows a vampire who might be able to help. Enter: The Vampire Queen.

Who is the Vampire Queen, and what can she do about Maryann? What did Sookie do to Maryann? Is Tara's cure permanent, and what about Eggs? Is Jessica going to need mouthwash after biting Maxine? Did Sam feel a draft?

Posted by Randy Welk on August 23, 2009 11:17 PM
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Another excellent episode, and I really liked the teamwork we saw. The scenes with Jason were beyond brilliant again. Full review of the episode on my blog.

-- Posted by: The1337 at August 24, 2009 7:27 PM

Pretty interesting blog you've got here. Thanks the author for it. I like such themes and anything connected to this matter. I definitely want to read more soon.

Kate Swenson

-- Posted by: Kate Swenson at September 24, 2010 2:51 AM

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