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True Blood Fodder

True Blood: I Will Rise Up

I s'pose there's more than one way to take the title of this episode. One could look at it as Godric lowering his light saber and becoming more powerful than Darth could possibly imagine. Or, you could say that Jason is finally ready to man up and accept adult responsibility. Or you could say that Eric is naked in bed with a naked Sookie and that is definitely not a banana in his pocket. Not that he has a pocket. Or pants either for that matter. Let's get to recappin'!

Last episode, as you recall, the Luke-inator was about to depress the red-buttoned detonator. Outside Godric's swinging vampire nest, Bill tells Lorena that she's dead to him. Well duh, she's a vampire.

Inside, Luke goes BOOM! Bill rushes inside to find Godric's home wood-chippered with vampire and human bits. Sookie's safe because she was covered with a shrapnel-proof Eric blanket. Eric tells Sookie he needs her to suck the silver bits out his chest or he'll die. Sookie falls for this line of malarkey and Eric grins for the camera like Mr. Roper. Now, because Sookie has Eric's blood in her, Bill explains, Eric will be tied to her and know her feelings. In return, Sookie may feel attracted to Eric. Sexually. Sookie says, Ewwwww.

Jessica and Hoyt are teen-agering. She's wondering if maybe surgery can help her get rid of that pesky little matter "down south." Hoyt tells her that they'll look into getting rid of that damn hymen once and for all, and oh by the way I want you to meet my momma. One does not often hear "hymen" and "meet my momma" in the same sentence.

Tara and Eggs are feeling like they were rode hard and put away wet. Maryann comes along and asks them if they'd like some chaos in their morning coffee. Tara's awfully concerned because, thanks to her mother, she's all too familiar with blacking out and mysterious bruises. Maryann convinces Tara and Eggs that their blackout and bruises just means that they had a reeeaally good time last night. She could sell iceboxes to Eskimos that Maryann. She whips out Bloody Marys (was that a pun?), and vodka makes it all better.

Sookie wakes from spooning with Bill and goes to talk to Jason. He's feeling like he's bottomed out, reached a new low. I dunno, I thought Sarah was pretty cute. Anyway, he comes to the realization that he and Sookie are all the family they have left. (Bill's killing their uncle notwithstanding.) Right about then, Reverend Steve and Sarah appear on a late-night news program defending their holier-than-thou-ness. Jason tells Sookie, I tapped dat. No, he didn't, I made that last part up. Old Jason woulda, though.

At Merlottes Bar and Abbatoir, the local peasantry wants to take pictures of where the de-hearted waitress was found. Arlene is pretty stressed out because she's the only waitress left in the Greater Bon Temps area. She tries to talk to Terry, but he's acting peculiar-er than usual. She begs him to talk to her, after all, they did have sex. Terry confesses that he doesn't remember having sex with Arlene. Now, most women take a certain offense at a confession like that, but Arlene's cool with it.

Tara and Eggs come into the bar. Lafayette sees his cousin looking she just went ten rounds with Fedor Emelianenko, and he goes after Eggs. And not in a gay way.

Hoyt's arguing with his momma about his dating a vampire. Momma's frying up a cheese and potato chip sandwich and telling Hoyt that vampires are not nice people. Hoyt thinks that Jessica is just swell, once you get past the fangs and the blood tears and generally being undead. He scoops up his sandwich (nice move that) and storms out angrily.

Sookie is naked in bed with Eric. Let me repeat that. Sookie is naked in bed with Eric. Yes, Eric, not Bill. Actually, we're pretty confident that she's dreaming. Or fantasizing. Or nightmaring. Whatever you wanna call it. They're having a fairly intimate conversation about feelings and orifices while Lorena spectates from a La-Z-Boy. Sookie wakes in bed with Suzanne Pleshette, I mean Bill, and yes, it was a dream after all.

Maryann arrives at the Bon Temps sheriff's station. She's looking to bail out her party-goers. She shimmy-shakes Sheriff Bud to sleep and goes looking for Sam. But Sam heard her coming and morphed into a fly. Maryann frees all the prisoners and begins peddling baskets and candles.

Back at Merlottes, Hoyt and Jessica and Hoyt's momma are seated in a booth enjoying a pleasant meal of You're Fat, Stupid and Ugly with a side order of Oh Yeah, Well You're Dead.

Maryann, Tara, and Eggs are playing Strip Whist. There's a very Sam-looking fly perched on the edge of the kitchen table. Lafayette and Tara's mom, Lettie Mae, show up to take Tara home. Tara goes all black oily-eyed and starts beating the snot out of Lettie Mae while Eggs goes all Neanderthal on Lafayette. Maryann almost breaks her arm patting herself on the back. She does love a good ass-whuppin'. Lafayette grabs up Tara and literally hauls her ass outta there. Maryann isn't too worried. She knows that Tara will be back and will bring Lafayette and Lettie Mae back with her. Fly Sam sees all.

At Godric's house, most of the body parts have been removed, and there's an important conference going on. The talking-head commentator chick from the late-night news program is actually a vampire. She is decidedly unhappy with Godric's handling of the recent situation, and she fires Godric. Godric's cool with getting the axe: He wanted to work on his tan anyway.

Maryann shows up at Merlottes. She is pissed. She wants a cheeseburger, an ice cold Coke, and Sam's ass and head on a platter. But not necessarily in that order. Sam meanwhile, is still doing his best Vincent Price imitation and shows up at Andy Bellefleur's hotel room, looking for clothes and a poo-poo platter. (Blogger's Note - Yes, I know it's pu pu platter. This spelling just amuses me more.)

Godric, his exit interview concluded, heads for the roof. It's almost dawn. Godric + dawn = weenie roast. Sookie, in her best Wizard of Oz red gingham dress goes up to the roof for S'mores. She watches Eric get all weepy as his maker prepares to meet the sun. Sookie sheds a tear for Godric as he bursts into flame. Okay, I'll admit it. I got a tad weepy. Not Ol' Yeller weepy, more like Godzilla versus Bambi weepy...but still...

How long can Jason maintain his rehab? How does Andy feel about a naked Sam showing up at his door? Has Sarah finally had enough of Reverend Steve? Will Tara's intervention be shown on A&E? Will Hoyt and Jessica explore alternative methods of intimacy? And why o why is Andy seemingly the only person unaffected by Maryann?

Posted by Randy Welk on August 16, 2009 11:48 PM
Permalink |

The Maryann storyline has been by far the weakest this season. There has never been any resolution and not really any buildup. The first couple episodes with her were intriguing, but after that it just became repetitive. On the other hand, the vampire storyline was great. Godric brought another angle to the show we hadn’t seen before. I have a full review of the episode on my blog.

-- Posted by: TV Obsessed at August 17, 2009 2:09 PM

so informative, thanks to tell us.

-- Posted by: DedoVioheds at September 29, 2010 9:02 PM

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-- Posted by: sales tips at December 26, 2010 8:54 AM

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