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True Blood Fodder

True Blood: Never Let Me Go

Bill and Daphne are leaving Tara's birthday party. Daphne must be afraid of getting lost because she's leaving a lot of clothing in her wake...a shirt here, a bra there... Not to worry, Sam's cool with her nudidity. In fact, he voted for it. But he does want to clear the air before they git to gittin' it on. He wants to fess up about being a shape-shifter, but Daphne already knows all about it. How? She saw him change into Collie-Sam. And oh, by the way, she's a shape-shifter too. She turns into a doe. She morphs back to Naked Daphne just before Terry and Arlene interrupt. Awkward much? Yup, you betcha.

Sookie catches up with Barry, the mind-reading hotel dude. She wants to talk about being a mind-reader, but he ain't having any of it. This ain't no hick town Baby, he tells her. This is Dallas, and we need to keep this on the QT.

Bill's snarky with Jessica's ordering up some walking-talking TrĂ¼ Blood off the room service menu. Hey Bill, chill out. She coulda got him out of the mini bar. Everybody knows how expensive that can be. Bill and Sookie throw down some makeup sex without having a fight. there's a novel thought... Jessica is tired of listening to Bill and Sookie's headboard banging against the wall, so she calls up her Bon Temps sweetie Hoyt and they do the age-old teen-age fave - You hang up first, no you hang up first, no you hang up, no you...

It's oh-dark-thirty at the Light of Day Institute. It's the first day of the Soldiers of the Sun boot camp, and it's time to wake up for God, you maggots. There's only two things come from Loo-siana, boy, steers and queers, and Jason's got no horns.

Tara wakes up with Eggs after her birthday banging. Eggs wakes up surprisingly clean-shaven. Tara misses Gran, but is darn glad that Gran was not around to see the way she behaved last night doing things that are illegal south of the Mason-Dixon line. Unless you're related.

Sookie heads downstairs at the Hotel Nosferatu for the continental breakfast. She finds Barry, who, like Marlene Dietrich, just vants to be left alone. He doesn't want anyone to know about his mind-reading ability. God knows it'd come in handy at the World Series of Poker. Sookie wants to exchange tales, trials, and tribulations. Barry scurries off, so Sookie steals some fruit and heads back upstairs to get back into bed with Bill who was seriously missing his snuggle-bunny. She tells Bill about Barry, they bicker, and then it's time for makeup sex.

At Merlottes, Daphne and Arlene are debating the merits of sleeping with the boss. Sam enters, and he and Daphne meet-cute. Out of the blue Lafayette returns! He and Sam have some things to discuss; specifically, can Lafayette get his old job back. Since the kitchen is short one black homosexual vampire blood-dealing blackmailing short order cook, it's a done deal.

Tara scuttles out to the kitchen and lo and behold Maryann is there whomping up a big old fashioned breakfast for forty as is her wont. Maryann wants to move in with Tara and Sookie, but Tara delivers an eviction notice, and Maryann is not pleased. Much like the Hulk, she is not one to piss off.

At the Soldiers of the Sun boot camp, the recruits are Jogging For Jesus. Turns out the Luke-inator can't climb fences, so Jason hops up to the top and offers a hand up. Sarah's loins get all tingly. My spider sense is tingling. I smell a set-up. It's not long before Reverend Steve takes Jason to his basement vampire-killing arsenal, snubbing the lovely Sarah in the process. Sarah does not take snubbing well.

Sookie, Bill, and Eric meet up with the Dallas vampires to formulate their game plan on how to rescue Godric. Good ideas are hard to come by, whiny Texas vampires not so much. Sookie volunteers to infiltrate the Fellowship of the Sun. Can a Sookie/Jason meet-up be far away? Bill is against the idea, and wants to know why Eric is so gung ho. Quick flashback reveals to us that Eric was a Viking a long long time ago and was seriously wounded in battle. But before he could expire from his wounds, Godric showed up and turned him into a vampire.

It's a busy night at Merlottes. Maryann drives up and loiters in the parking lot. She goes into You messed with the wrong maenad mode, and before you know it, everyone in Merlottes in bitching and griping and pissing and moaning at Tara.

Jason's had a tough day at Soldier of the Sun summer camp, and he needs a relaxing bubble bath to ease his troubled brow. Sarah enters and locks the door behind her. She grabs up a sponge and starts to bathe Jason. Neck, shoulders, chest, and regions south. God wants you to have a reward, she tells Jason. Looks to me like he's gonna be awful clean down there.

Closing time at Merlottes, and Sam and Daphne are discussing world politics and universal health care. No, not really. They're talking about how easy it's going to be for Sam to get into Daphne's pants. They're dry-humping up against the pool table. Nice rack, says Sam. Nice balls, says Daphne. Billiard humor - think you can do any better?

Tara comes home from her rotten night tending bar to find Maryann at the kitchen table, dressed in grandmotherly clothing and acting all grandmotherly. Tara has a change of heart and invites Maryann to stay.

Bill and Sookie agree that Dallas vampires are pussies. Bill wants to wuss out and go back to Bon Temps, but Sookie mans up. After all, she gave her word. They waste little time getting to the makeup sex. Outside their room, in the hallway, the comely brunette vampire who made Bill way way back in 1870 sashays up the hallway, ears and fangs at full attention.

Posted by Randy Welk on July 19, 2009 11:27 PM
Permalink |

Great recap!! Love the humor and wit. This recap was much better than the episode. I will look for them after each episode. Thanks!!!

-- Posted by: PR at July 20, 2009 1:45 AM

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