So, the chefs are still recovering from the aftermath of last week, which turned out to be one of their toughest challenges yet. The girls, in particular, crashed and burned and Jennifer found herself one of this year's shocking eliminees. Stephanie frets over her departure, as well as her recent faltering, and says she needs to prove herself. Antonia is equally revved up, as she "wakes up on fire", ready to attack the day. Rah-rah! Oh...and Mark says something about the American dream again. Is New Zealand really that bad?

When the cheftestants arrive in Top Chef Kitchen, they see Art Smith--Oprah's personal chef. Oh, good Lord, is there anything the Queen of the World WON'T profit from? Dale clearly detests them as much as I do, which finally earns him some awesome points as he prattles on in a sardonic tone about who Art is. Padma tells us that this challenge is all about micro-management, On the table are numerous packages of Uncle Ben's Whole Grain Rice. (It's priceless to see the befuddled looks on some of their faces.) The Quickfire Challenge is to create a fabulous entree, using one of the recipes on the back of the Uncle Ben packages--in 15 minutes. Dun dun dunnnnn. This is, apparently, Richard's worst fear...and he proceeds to harp about his methodicalness and I am not even going to bother.

Chefs are stampeding all over the kitchen like Naomi Campbell's maid staff in a mad dash to get their thoughts and meals prepared in half the time they spend on one individually. But Dale, that tricky dicky, has a pan ready. He's going Asian, because their food is cooked fast with intense heat. Stephanie wants to win a damn Quickfire already, and decides to make a scallop pancake--without tasting it...hmm. Antonia, meanwhile, flashes back to her youth when her mom made her a rice salad. This sounds pretty interesting, as I've never thought to combine the two before.

Padma and Art make their rounds, as usual, and taste everyone's dishes. When they're finished, Art announces his Bottom 3: Mark, Stephanie, and Lisa. Apparently, the acidity of Lisa's dish was appeasing, but just didn't make the cut. Stephanie suffers another setback, as Mark's was found to be too dry. However, Art fancies Dale's longbeans, Richard's complete meal, and Antonia's cold/hot mixture. And in the end, it's Antonia who leaves the best impression, as she wins her second challenge AND immunity. However, this time, for the Elimination Challenge, she's gunning for the win.

And speaking of the Elimination Challenge, it's all about bringing families back to the dinner table together in this episode. Antonia is psyched, because let's not forget--she's a single mother, raising a daughter all by herself. The challenge requires a delicious, yet nutritious, meal to feed four--with a budget of only $10. SAY WHAT?! Oh, yes. Andrew babbles on about how impossible this is, but Antonia says she can make it work. Richard's scared--that, gosh, he won't be the best for once. Oh, deary me.

When they arrive at Whole Foods Market, everyone makes a mad dash to the cooking counter. Dale notes that right away, people snatch up the chicken. He decides to take an alternative route and fetch some turkey bratwurst. Hm, sounds daring. Andrew shares his own common thread with Antonia, as he was also raised by a single mother (who was not Antonia, for the record). Stephanie is nervous and feeling crazy/unhinged while shopping. She's just scraping random goods and putting them into her mystery basket.

At the register, this show suddenly morphs into a screwball comedy, as we watch cheftestant after cheftestant go over budget. Antonia finds herself a measly 23 cents too exorbitant and begins to whittle leaves off from her sprig. Some others follow her lead and all manage to come out fairly unscathed. They then head back to their house for the night to relax and prep for tomorrow. Antonia gives her daughter a call and you just know they're working her fan angle into this. But it's pretty cute to see a softer, less cunning side of Antonia as she chats on speakerphone (and makes the camera's presence known, kudos) to her daughter. She misses her and they exchange cute banter and knock knock jokes, like "Smell mop"..."Smell mop who?" Get it? Smell mah-poo. (It's okay, you can giggle. It won't make you 10 again.) Antonia feels a bit of confidence from this, as her daughter tells her "don't come home until you win". Awww.

Next day completely capitalizes on this. The chefs arrive at the kitchen, where Padma calls in 9 children from the Common Threads program, which teaches kids how to cook. Antonia feels a rush of emotions upon seeing these youngsters, of course, and says that if she gets a girl, she'll just completely lose her shit...in so many words. Fortunately for her, she gets a boy (as all the mini sous chefs were assigned to specific contestants). His name is Jeffrey, and he loves to cut food (emo alert), so she allows him to take care of things in the chopping department.

Lisa has Andrew and it reminds her of her girlfriend, who has a kid. Aw, awesome. Lisa has taken over for Jennifer and Zoi, thankfully, because every Bravo show needs at least one gay for the majority of its airtime. It's the truth! Richard has Abigail, and is having fun teaching her--it's bringing out the daddy in him. Spike's got Alex, who cuts himself almost instantly, but impresses Spike by wanting to continue on (after they clean up the wound, of course). Mark and Jesuseta (I hope I spelled that right) work together to make curry, which Lisa instantly notes is a "bad idea" for an accessible and healthy home-based challenge. Tsk, tsk.

Nikki's got Amarice, which reminds her of when SHE was raised by a single parent. I'm getting a good feeling about all of this, suddenly. She's keeping her meal simple but loaded with variety and flavor. It's a tricky challenge, but since this is her skill area, I feel she can definitely pull it off. Dale has managed to garner more attention from me, not to mention eliciting some happiness. He bonds extremely well with his sous chef, Manuel, and tells us how he reminds him of himself when he was a kid whose dreams of pro basketball were crushed when he plateaued at the great height of 5'5". How adorable. For once, Dale drops the d-bag and picks up some balls of sunshine.

Andrew further raises the adorable bar, recounting his youth of being the overweight, unhealthy kid who used to be over 200 pounds, until he started eating healthier food. Awww, where are the pictures of this? And why do I always fall for former fatties? He's also having a fun time with his sous chef. Stephanie, however, once again gets painted as the in-danger person for this challenge. She's planning a dessert and couscous--and something with tomatoes covered in peanut butter. Er....

Tom makes his rounds and meets all the sous chefs. For the most part, everything seems positive. One of the kids is a chopping maniac, and Tom yells "Watch your fingers!" He inquires what another kid likes about cooking, and he says "Um...eating." This episode practically overdoses on the cute. And then, they're ready to present--to the kid chefs and their friends. One by one, they deliver their meals. Richard's chicken skin was deemed unnecessary, Lisa got mixed reviews, Dale needs to be more universal, and Spike's was simple but tasty spaghetti (which his kids loved). Unfortunately, their apples were a bit undercooked and may have undid their main course.

Nikki feels pleased with her meal--and so do the judges! Yay, she's back on top! It's been an uphill battle, but she made it. Smith praises her chicken and vegetable in one dish-dish, stating how he loves one-pot wonders. Gail notes that it was complete and healthy--and outdid Spike's meal. Oh, snap! Mark comes out with his and fails by comparison, as his is too sweet, sugary, without enough protein. Antonia's, however, earns praise for putting her real-life passions into this dish. Andrew also earns compliments for his well-executed meal, but Stephanie disappoints and shows "telltale signs of a restaurant chef not cooking at home enough". Uh-oh.

While the judges make their final decisions, the chefs discuss how much fun they had. Richard comments to us how he'd like to go home and make some babies--or, "little Blaises". Sure, then plant them all on Top Chef Season 32--but hey, the sooner you go home, the better! Padma then comes out and calls Andrew, Nikki, and Antonia. They are the favorites for this challenge! Antonia notes how embarrassing it would be if she can't cook for kids, what with having a daughter and all. Nikki is lauded for having very smart, seasoned, flavorful food and Gail calls her use of brussel sprouts "bold". Andrew made fruit flavorful in a supper dish. And they loved Antonia's dish, calling it delicate for children, yet flavorful for adults. So it's no surprise that the winner of this challenge is...Antonia! Hooray, her first one, and what a great one to start off (hopefully) with.

Of course, bad news is always around the corner. Lisa, Stephanie, and Mark are called out as the judges' least favorites. (Speaking of which, why does it always seem like the girls are the polar extremes in each challenge?) Stephanie's was not simple enough; the peanut butter and tomatoes combination was repulsive; and her couscous was overcooked, which she was aware of. Before Mark can be criticized, he says "I think Tom doesn't like me", to which Tom expresses a look of astonishment. He make his objectivity clear, and then proceeds to tell him that his meal was too sweet, not nutritious, and it lacked enough vegetables. Lisa then gets told that her black beans were bland and underseasoned, which she defends by saying it was accessible and canned. She doesn't take criticism well, but at least gets complimented for making her meal healthy and nutritious.

Lisa feels on the edge, and is sure she's going home. Stephanie feels similarly and is quite anxious. But in the end, the judges decide to send Mark packing. Before he goes, Tom clears up any misconceptions and tells Mark that he does like him and when the reunion episode comes, they'll get a beer and catch up. Mark leaves on a positive note, as I ponder why Richard and Stephanie have escaped elimination for such vile offenses (Richard's scales vs. Zoi's blandness--just add salt; Stephanie's peanut butter tomatoes vs. Mark's lack of protein, etc.)...could Top Chef be planting as much as American Idol? While that may be impossible to answer, I'm nevertheless excited about next week's episode. The drama and stakes look to be more tense than ever, and it seems as if Dale is heading for a d-bag meltdown. Don't miss, as I try to get next week's article back on schedule!

Ryan adds there's lots of tension in the apartment, but Lisa points out it's not just from the elimination--but the win, too. She's happy she won, of course, but is still having problems with Dale. He confronts her and apologizes for yelling at her, but expresses his concern over her negativity. She's cool with that, except she notifies him next time, he better come to her when he has an issue. Then in her video diary, she says he can go *beep* himself. I love her!

The chefs head on down to the Top Chef kitchen, where they see 16 pitchers of beer up on a bar and Chef Koren Grieveson standing next to Padma Lakshmi. She is the executive chef at Avec and is here just for the Quickfire Challenge, which is all about simple pleasures. Their objective is to create a dish that pairs well with beer, but doesn't overpower it. Dale and Nikki feel lost instantly. He especially feels his dish instantly went to "hell in a handbag". Hah.

Richard decides to base his dishes off the buzz words (in this case, "simple". He chooses to do a sandwich. Antonia expresses how simple can often be hard. Lisa sees no difficulty with this, however, nor does Jennifer. The latter has her good luck charm, her mohawk shaped like a shark fin. She's all fired up and raring to go. But it's hard to tell who Koren truly likes, because she has a great poker face.

She declares the three bottom dishes to be those of Nikki (who's floundering these days), Spike (who's weaker than he realizes), and Dale--to which Lisa responds, "Good, bitch! How's the bottom feeling?" (Did I mention that I LOVE her.) But Koren liked three dishes very much, and those were: Richard's, Stephanie's (a real testament to who's the best, as she usually hates Quickfires), and Jennifer's. She's thrilled, of course, but she would like to finally win something...and what better time than now? Koren declares her the winner! Hooray for her. This is just what she needed to keep her faith in this competition. She channeled her negative energy into her first win. Spike cheers "Yay, lesbians!" Oy gevalt, dude.

The cheftestants are then informed of their Elimination Challenge, which is to create individual meals (the first truly individual task since the first episode) for a Tailgating party prior to a Chicago Bears game at Soldier Field. The fans (and players) will determine the top and bottom 3 dishes via scorecards marked with either "touchdown" or "fumble", among other terms. And from that, the judges will determine who stays and who goes.

At the market, Spike jumps on wings, much to many others' collective dismay. Dale opts for ribs instead. Nikki gets sausage and peppers--AND shrimp. Richard admits he's a wise-ass, and decides to make a "paté melt"--get it, patty melt? Antonia is equally excited, more so for being outdoors though. Andrew is not so much, because his sport is cooking. Ryan also gripes that he's not a sports guy, but focuses more on his metrosexuality. (And to think, up until now, I was so confused....) Mark bitches in his subtle kiwi way that he doesn't care about football.

The contestants are all a mish-mash of confident and clueless. Ryan is preparing, for some strange reason, a 5-course meal...for an outdoor grilling feast. Smart. Jennifer decides to go Greek for Zoi. Aw. In the midst of all this chaos, the refrigerator is almost overflowing. Richard saves the day by taping it shut and the contestants retreat to their house. They all begin to unwind after a long day, with some wine and Andrew acting like a pirate. Awesome.

But the real highlight comes from Mark and Spike, who bond and begin to frolic--in a bubble bath. The girls are not interested in joining them...especially not Antonia, who refers to it as a cheap porno. I am now literally laughing my ass off, as she describes the hilarity of the bubbles, champagne, and all-around homoerotica. (This show can be such fun after all!) Spike's all "Whatever, I'm secure with my masculinity and sexuality." But what he's really saying is "I wanna do Mark, so take the cameras away...ooh, or don't. MEOW!"

The next day, the chefs arrive at Soldier Field, where they can choose between charcoal or gas grills. Mark proudly testifies that he's the only one with enough guts to tackle the charcoal. Then we are introduced to Paul Kahan, who will be our guest judge for the Elimination Challenge. He's a chef at Blackbird. And then the crowd enters the field and goes nuts. Football players are everywhere and it seems as if all the chefs have done a magnificent job--seeing as how all we're really hearing is compliments galore.

Ryan appears to be working the crowd pretty well, while Spike disappoints some by foolishly inquiring when the last time the Bears won a football game was. Don't mess with...DA Bears. Andrew, however, is in the full spirit of everything--even wearing a football helmet. See, this is exactly why I love this guy...he's into life. We should all be Andrews! Unfortunately, his head seems to get stuck--much to the amusement of Gail Simmons, as Andrew squeaks and twitters. Gail calls him "A trip". I call him "lovemuffin", but trip is equally suitable.

The real trouble here seems to be from Nikki, who runs out of her primary ingredients by the time the judges reach her and tells us she's practically shitting her pants right now (a pleasant image for a food show, naturally). But in bigger doody is Mark, who is a complete mess. His station is in utter disarray and he is a bit uncouth with his product (he licked a serving spoon, then proceeded to fill cups of soup). I don't expect Tom to let this one slide on by. But the chefs relax some more, playing around with a football, shouting "Get the kiwi!"

Back at the Judges' Table, Antonia, Dale, and Stephanie find themselves called in. As usual, they are the Top 3. Once again, Stephanie continues her streak of triumphs with her FOURTH consecutive week in the Top. And her fifth, overall, not to mention, as she has always been at the judges' table--only once for being in the bottom (despite saving herself with a second dish) and two previous wins (making her the fastest two-time winner and the first female since Betty in Season 2 to do so before another male). But the victor in this challenge...is an exuberant Dale. He is very thrilled about the win alone, but receives a Bears jersey with "Top Chef" imprinted on the back of it, as well as the Weber electric grill he used in the challenge.

Then, as usual once again, he is forced to send back the Bottom 3: Mark, Nikki, and Ryan. Nikki is surprised to be there, based on the reactions to her food (which were predominantly positive), as am I. But despite the good reviews, overall, she was still bested. Fortunately, another woman was not likely to be kicked off just yet, as the men had bigger faults at hand. Ryan was slammed for his execution--and his rambling didn't do much for his case either. Mark, on the other hand, was called out for his extreme sloppiness and Tom warns he's going to have to get his act together. The judges discuss and debate heavily, as this elimination ultimately determines the Top 10. But in the end, it was Ryan who would be saying good-bye (and a thousand and one other things), for his refusal to get with the Tailgating theme. This leaves 5 girls and 5 guys still vying for the title of Top Chef. Will the guys triumph once again...or can the girls outdo them once and for all? Stay tuned....

Antonia and Zoi open the episode with frustrations over being in the bottom and their refusal to allow it to happen again. Jennifer is offended on Zoi's behalf, because she's "basically a big fan". So whenever she learns someone doesn't like her life partner's cuisine, she's all "Say what?!" Mmm, foreshadowing!

The cheftestants arrive in the kitchen, where Padman introduces Chef Ming Tsai. He's all about the palate...so guess what the Quickfire Challenge is. Anyone? It's the Season 4 Palate Challenge! The chefs will all be individually invited into a darkened kitchen, blindfolded, and handed two cups of various items. Their test is to determine which cup contains the more upscale product. These items include: maple syrup, bacon, soy sauce, some kind of fish, pork, caviar, butter, some fruit, etc. Andrew says if you can't differentiate between products, "you suck". Oh, so full of wisdom.

The contestants' nerves are sky high. Lisa spills water all over the table, Dale gets caviar wrong and feels pissed, Stephanie is floundering, but Antonia is soaring. Of all the seasons she's been watching Top Chef, she's been anticipating this challenge. And she should, as her palate is highly refined. When the results are announced, Stephanie scored the lowest with 6/15. She and Lisa are more visual people. However, Ryan and Jennifer tie with 11/15--to be the runner-ups (and she beat Zoi by only one point)!

But it was, of course, Antonia who emerged as the primary victor with a whopping 12/15. Go Antonia! She's really growing on me. And she has immunity for this episode's Elimination Challenge--which just happens to, once again, involve Meals-on-Wheels. This time, it's a celebrity chef ball and the cheftestants will each be creating individual first courses.

Well, sorta...they first, once again, will draw knives to determine teams. Their objective is to keep it simple and light and set the mood for the entire evening. The four groups will be: Earth, Water, Fire, and Air. It's all about the elements!

In the Water group, we have Andrew, Mark, and Richard--wow, the two strongest males teamed-up yet again. Something smells fishy (er, literally...soon). Water consists of Dale, Lisa, and Stephanie--yet again, the same teammates! Earth's team is comprised of Antonia, Spike, and Zoi--whaddya know? And in Air are (surprise) Jennifer, Nikki, and Ryan. They only have 15 minutes to plan and Lisa is freaking out because her and Dale are butting heads. Stephanie tells us that Lisa's personality is far too strong for Dale, while he's the self-proclaimed asshole. So naturally, they were meant to clash. Lisa is dreading the grocery store, because she wants to do Asian, while Dale is fully against it. Eventually, they manage to reach a consensus and all is well.

Spike pushes the ladies to do butternut squash and Zoi is on board, but Antonia feels it's not enough. Even though she has immunity, she is voicing her opinions vociferously. The other teams seem to be getting along pretty nicely, but I hope at least one of these clashing forces manages to do well.

When they complete their shopping, they then head to the banquet hall and arrive in this enormous kitchen. Mark says it's as huge "as Yankee stadium". Richard is feeling extremely confident and assumes leadership. Lisa is working on her special version of bacon. She's very meticulous and admits she can be a bitch when in her zone. Dale says she's full of "observational negativity". Oh, drama, how I adore thee.

Before plating occurs, Andrew and Mark notice Richard left scales on the salmon. He attempts to clean as many as he can, but they are the first to go. Uh-oh! Naturally, the judges immediately notice this. Poor Ming had 8 or so scales in his salmon. Richard frets, as he realizes his charm is beginning to fade on Tom. However, Fire makes up for Water's faults. They ADORE their dish. Particularly the bacon. Woot!

Air doesn't fair nearly as well, but they turn out to be not so terrible. They're basically the middle of the road. However, Earth fares the worst. One of the dinner patrons says "If I were a judge, I'd send a member of Team Earth home." Ouch! Right in the pyloric sphincter!

Back at judges' table, Fire is called out first. Richard is immediately freaking out. Team Fire is complimented across the board for being spicy, but appealing. Stephanie is complimented for her shrimp and prawn, Dale for something else, and Lisa for her delicious bacon. The winner receives a trip for two to Italy for five days...and that winner turns out to be Lisa! (Probably a partial make-up win for last week, as she came so close with her caramel sauce.) Chef Tsai was quite impressed by the bacon and maple syrup (her glaze on the bacon). And I'm sure her insistence to do an Asian-influenced dish didn't hurt either. Dale is bitter due to her winning simply for bacon. What a whore.

Following her win, Lisa is sent back to the waiting room to call in Water and Earth. Water is naturally criticized about the scales, but also for the bland faux caviar (not as good as last week's) and the parsnip and vanilla combo. Richard pretends he's shocked to hear about his dish being poor. Gimme a break, dude, and get over yourself. Fortunately for them, their team did not receive the worst scores from the judges. That would, of course, be Team Earth.

It seems as though those previews from last week were valid. Antonia had immunity and did nothing truly wrong, except her poor conception. But Spike is called out for his poor carpaccio and Zoi for her unseasoned mushrooms. Spike, although on Zoi's side, tries to save himself by pointing out what Zoi could've done better. Back in the waiting room, Zoi says she's cool with whatever happens. I gotta say I love that she cooks for the sake of cooking, but not for the competition.

During commercial break, a poll is given to the audience. The question is "Which contestant most deserves a spanking for being difficult?" Dale wins by a mile over Antonia and Lisa. Ha! Eat that, douche.

Back at judges' table, it is a consensus that Earth was the worst. And when it's time for someone to be sent home, we say good-bye to one half of our beloved lesbian couple, Zoi. Jennifer is obviously in shock and disbelief. Antonia is crying terribly as she walks Zoi back into the room. Richard is crying because his ass was ALMOST handed to him on a platter of suck. Zoi and Jennifer kiss and cry. The tone in the room is this overwhelming wave of sadness over Zoi's departure. But here she tells us how proud she is and glad that her and her lover were able to compete together.

Following her departure, Spike is furious at Antonia. I think he and Zoi were fairly close. But he accuses Antonia of being unwilling to do his idea, when she CLEARLY said she was more than willing to do butternut squash soup if the other two wanted to. Spike shrugs this off as he and Jennifer exchange words. Antonia reminds the testy Spike that this is all on film and he needs to acknowledge the truth. Then Dale chimes in, much to Lisa's dismay, and he tells her off.

The room is ablaze with fury and this is certainly just the beginning of the tension. The previews convey trouble for Nikki and some slight homoerotic bonding between Mark and Spike...hmm. This could be most intriguing! So return next week and see the results!

Spike has come around pretty nicely and says that he loves the two girls and thinks they compliment each other beautifully as a couple...but he is ready for one of them to go. He doesn't want to split them up per se, BUT he feels that there's a slight disadvantage for him and everyone else. And in this competition, a slight disadvantage is all it really takes. Wise words, my jazzy-hatted friend.

When the chefs arrive in the kitchen, they see Daniel Boulud. Padma tells anyone who is unfamiliar with him to leave. (Thousands of Americans possessed by Padma's hottness instantaneously walk out the door.) The guest judge is a French culinary genius, idolized by chefs around the world. And he's all about technique. So in today's challenge, the chefs are to use items from their baskets of fresh veggies and anything provided in the entire Top Chef pantry to create a vegetable dish. But they MUST use at least three techniques in the process. (This challenge should be a breeze for Dale and Richard...as both have worked under him before.)

Lisa is instantly frustrated, because she does things her own way. Nikki is similarly worried that she falls short on technique. Zoi, however, despite not being classically trained, never frets. She hatches an idea and aims to impress Boulud. Spike trained in France, we learn. He also has a neat little scallion tool, which divides the vegetable into 8 sections. He then dips them in ice water, to shock and curl them. That's a pretty neat technique if you ask me. It makes me want to run out and become a chef right now...but I won't, because I have to write!

Daniel makes his rounds, complimenting Zoi for her impressive shearing (she shaved her vegetables nearly paper-thin) and Dale, while being displeased with Manuel and Nikki. He begins by naming his least favorite: Nikki, Lisa, and Manuel. Then, he names his top: Zoi, Dale, and Richard. And the winner this time is...Dale. He receives immunity.

The chefs then draw knives to see who is paired with whom. Then Dale is allowed to choose which pair he'll join to create the sole trio, so he joins Andrew and Richard...oooof course. Almost everyone here is paired up with someone they've worked with before. But the exciting challenge more than makes up for everything.

The chefs are to create a 6-course dinner (hence the teams), where each course is inspired by their favorite movie. And let me tell you, as a verifiable movie fanatic and Oscar database, this is perhaps the most titillating challenge they've had yet! As my mind runs off imagining the types of dishes I would do for my favorites (some would be REAL challenges, believe me), Boulud mentions the phenomenal Casablanca as his favorite and how he would incorporate Moroccan flavors into his meal. I almost wish he was cooking against everyone, too.

The first course is being done by the dream trio, Andrew, Dale, and Richard. Dale likes them because he feels their fellow aggressive, forward-thinking chefs. Andrew feels it's the weak choosing the strong. Marry me! (Visions of Maeby con their way into Hollywood jobs in my head. I miss you, Arrested Development.) Richard selects Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory and the guys all concur. Meanwhile, the second course is being prepared by Manuel and Spike. Since Manuel is Mexican, he thinks of Like Water for Chocolate, but has nothing to offer for it. So Spike suggests they do Good Morning Vietnam, since he works with Vietnamese food.

Working on the third course are Jennifer and Nikki, the latter of whom suggests Il Postino. Nikki talks about how soulful and romantic the movie is. Jen agrees and coolly jokes "yeah, we'll hold hands". Nikki laughs. Jen is just awesome and these two work very well together and have good chemistry as a team. (If you'll recall, in the first episode, the judges were so impressed with both ladies, it was difficult to choose a winner.) The fourth course is being done by Mark and Ryan, and the two have nearly nothing in common. Ryan's favorite movie is Dumb and Dumber while Mark's is To Kill a Mockingbird and a hodgepodge of quirky down under titles. Ryan finally has a vision and it's to do A Christmas Story. Mark talks about it like he knows it, saying "oh, I-uh-I-uh...I believe it's a comedy". Make a Leg Lamp cake!

The fifth course is being prepared by Antonia and Zoi. The former is delighted, because she says the latter "cooks exactly like I do". Zoi suggests that they do Talk to Her, which is a Spanish film about two very creative, passionate women, and they believe this dish will be representative of them. And the sixth and final course finds Lisa paired up with Stephanie. The latter raves about the former's strong personality and judgment--and I don't blame her, as Lisa has been near the top in each and every challenge thus far. And they both abstain from doing a dessert, despite it being the final course, because in the past, it has failed. Lisa suggests the movie Top Secret!, which is one of her favorites. They focus on the scene with the cow, which Lisa refuses to spoil for us. And I thank her for that.

Andrew says that "these people will culinarily crap in their pants" when they see what's in store for them. Only Andrew is allowed to make up words, folks, so don't even try. Of course, I do wonder if he means literally...as it is Willy Wonka, after all. Speaking of which, he desires to present the dish to the patrons as oompa-loompas. As I clearly imagine this wonderful spectacle, he wastes no time in getting down on his knees and mimicking it before our very eyes. Too bad his team is full of squares. How lame.

The chefs shop, prepare, and then arrive at some place called Gallery 37, where Aisha Tyler's PR rep gets her some high profile attention by arranging this random impromptu dinner. Also involved in this feast is Richard Roeper, Chicago's own incompetent film critic with suspect taste. But I'll digress before this turns into a rant, because there are more important matters at hand...like Richard's smoker running out before all of the salmon are smoked. Oh, no! Fortunately, some quick thinking is utilized and the dream trio serve their dish (involving wasabi and white chocolate) to a surprisingly delighted crowd.

After that, it's a bumpy road. The judges are immensely disappointed with the Vietnamese spring roll from Manuel and Spike and are mixed on Jen and Zoi's pasta dish (Tom not impressed; Richard loves it). Things seem to pick up a bit when Mark's and Ryan's quail dish manages to delight, despite all of the pre-serving difficulties. (The dish is inspired by the scene where the dog takes the turkey, so they all go out and have duck. But the store had neither, so they settled on quail.) Ted Allen says it's his new favorite dish. The reviews are not so positive for Antonia's and Zoi's lamb shanks, because the story did not match the dish.

And last but not least, Lisa and Stephanie prepared a NY strip steak with caramel apple sauce. My palate just orgasmed on its own...and clearly, the entire table's did as well. Aisha even said "the dish goes above and beyond". I like her. And thus, the supper ends on a very positive note.

Back at Judges' Table, the teams of Willy Wonka (Andrew, Dale, and Richard) and Top Secret! (Lisa and Stephanie) are called first...and are the judges two favorites. I must say, I'm slightly surprised not to see Mark and Ryan, but I guess, it wasn't perfect. Either way, we learn the caramel sauce was Lisa's brilliant idea (Stephanie is sweet and gives credit where it's due) and that the sauce from the "Chocolate Factory" was Richard's and the "faux caviar" was made by Andrew. They were actually tapioca pearls...mmmmm. Willy Wonka wins by a hair and the individual winner of the night is Richard. I would've been happier with Lisa, but at least she's standing out a bit more now...I think she's a true dark horse, actually. But at least he finally obtained a victory of his own.

They return to the waiting room, where some very irritated chefs are complaining about Richard and about how they don't find his food to be particularly awe-inspiring. The judges ask to see Talk to Her (Antonia and Zoi) and Good Morning, Vietnam (Manuel and Spike). When the girls are questioned about their story, they reveal some details they should've stated earlier. Tom wondered why the lamb was cut so thin and Antonia and Zoi explain that it was to have enough for everyone and to reprsent the two of them as strong, independent women in this business. He says that if they had explained that earlier, they might not even be here, because the food did taste pretty good. So the two can be at ease, because they are safe.

However, the news for the two gentlemen was not so relieving. They found the dish to be very uninspired and the whole concept to be based solely off of Vietnam itself and not by the movie at all. Spike was at fault for being the driving force behind this dish and Manuel is accused of being a follower. Tom inquires of the two who should go home, and Spike refuses to answer that, saying he "doesn't play that way". My respect for him just rose immensely, because that was very classy of him. Manuel says backstage that he feels it's going to be him that's eliminated...and he was correct. Spike hugs him and he parts with hugs and goodbye speeches. And so, another episode down, plenty more to come. So tune in and check back next week, because based on these intense previews...things will really be heating up!

This episode opens with a shirtless Spike horsing around with Andrew. Thank you! My two favorite guys in the competition (yes, I have forgiven Spike for his initial d-baggery) being complete and utter goofballs. Richard makes some anti-social remark about being "all about the food", but in a way that it's hard to dislike him. Stephanie discusses how it was sad to see Valerie go, because that's one less woman to achieve the title of first female Top Chef. In my opinion though, it was just cutting off the dead weight. Valerie was a sweetheart and probably a terrific chef, who just wasn't much for competition. Besides, the remaining six ladies are fierce and not to be messed with. Zoi chats about her relationship some more and about breaking hurdles, both as a lesbian and a woman to break stereotypes about people's image of a chef. You go, girl.

Andrew gets more screentime as usual, and no complaining here. He tells us how part of being a chef is being an entertainer...which is incredibly true. A chef needs his or her personality to be resonant in the dish that they're creating and we can bet that no matter what Andrew does, it will be some dorktastic, wiggerish food with more personality than some humans in your lives.

The cheftestants arrive in the kitchen, where Padma is waiting with Rick Bayless--whom all the chefs are very familiar with. They must be pretty akin to his Cajun flavors, because Stephanie blurts out "Oh crap, Mexican food". The Quickfire Challenge is to revitalize the classic taco...being original and unique in their creation and elevating the taco to a fine dining experience. Erik is quite peeved over this, as he doesn't equate tacos with fine dining. Manuel feels he has a leg up in this challenge, however, being Mexican and having experience with its respective cuisine. Spike decides to keep it real and "street", so as not to detract from the true origins of the taco. Or perhaps that was his clever way of telling us he was baffled on how to make a taco appear expensive.

Andrew decides that he's going to incorporate plantains and duck into his taco...which made my mouth water instantly. And not just because I was watching Andrew. He does his usual crazy techniques and "brings awesome" to every dish he makes. You are my hero, man. Richard decides to do a vegetarian taco with a jicamo encasing, which almost makes me want to convert (nice try, but I'll never convert to that cult).

Bayless makes his way around the tables, stalked by Padma, of course. Manuel presented a traditional taco, which may have been tasty but unimpressive. Lisa used caramelized onions. Ryan used pomegranate apples, which didn't appear to be very successful. Andrew's seemed to be a success, and left my boy delighted, while Erik's dish was a mess, as usual (it's as if he sneezed out his platter).

When the worst were announced, Erik turned up rather quickly, but unsurprisingly. He was frankly uninspired by the entire challenge, and said Rick could go "*bleep* himself". I love what a laid-back hothead he is...much easier to embrace, and so much more badass than a blatant jerk. Lisa and Ryan were also called out as being unsuccessful in this challenge.

But good news came the way of Andrew, who had a spazz attack upon hearing this news. For all his big talk, it's refreshing how genuinely surprised he is when he scores high. Richard was also noted as being impressive. And then the third favorite...was Spike (much to Manuel's chagrin). Bravo tried to dramatize that...subtly, of course. Rick loved his street-style dish. But the winner wound up being Richard, which Spike complained was a sham as it wasn't even reminiscent of a taco whatsoever. Hehe.

After this, the chefs were asked to divide themselves into two teams at their own discretion. Several chefs flocked towards Richard, which is really biased bullshit. And Spike agrees with me. You usually should avoid the one with immunity, as they tend to be a bit more complacent. So Spike stayed with the couple, while some of the other over-achievers headed Richard's way. The Red team was comprised of: Jennifer, Zoi, Andrew, Spike, Dale, Ryan, and Erik. The Blue team consisted of: Richard, Stephanie, Antonia, Lisa, Nikki, Mark, and Manuel. As for the challenge...they were kept in the dark, albeit with one little clue: they're going on a field trip.

They all piled into their name-dropped Toyota Highlanders and had no idea where they were headed. The vehicles arrived at a random array of houses, where Padma met them to give away the secret. The aforementioned trip was to Chicago's Annual Block Party, sponsored by MealsTogether.com. They must cook for the attendees, with one major catch: they are not allowed to shop...exactly. Instead, they will be obtaining their materials by going door-to-door and finagling donated items from willing participants (who were indubitably notified before the challenge of these strange, white-coated humans lurking about their premises).

Andrew jokes about how Ryan is being deployed to request food from people, since he's good-looking, charismatic, and an articulate speaker. (If you recall from the first episode, at the judges' table, he even confused the crap out of Tom in an effort to save his life. Yes, he's awesome.) When they invade the house, the woman tells them how lucky they are that the farmers' market was just this morning. Gee, how convenient! They grab a few peaches, among other things, and amscray. Nikki, meanwhile, tells us about mac and cheese being one of her signature dishes. Of course, sometimes that is equivocal to doom.

Andrew states that the teams are scurrying in and out of houses like NYC rats (now there's an image), which is precisely what I thought the moment they began. Aww. In one couple's house, they have a heavily-stocked pantry full of goods. Spike thinks they're preparing for a world war...but he ain't complaining. The house is still quite aplenty with usable items, but he tells the Blue team as they attempt to enter that he was just in there and they were wiped out clean. Telling them it was empty doesn't feel like sabotage to Spike...but I think it will to karma. Karma's a bitch...watch out, dude. I sense he is capable of much naughtier things in episodes to come.

When planning out their menu, the Blue team decides to bring a little upscale element to their basic comfort food platters. The Red team, however, decides to keep things classic, focusing on incorporating more delicious flavors to dishes the people will be familiar with.

Nikki is instantly worried about her mac & cheese, fearing that her Velveeta cheese sauce will coagulate by the time they arrive on the block. Stephanie makes a last minute decision to make her wontons a dessert item. Sounds scrumptious. The Blue team seems to have its ups and downs, as does the Red. Erik is frustrated that there is no real leadership role being assumed...although hey, you could've done so, couldn't you? Never go along, always speak up. Tsk, tsk. He also mentions how he pities his friend Zoi's misfortune of doing a pasta dish, which she's not at all inspired by. Dale also expresses concern and says he'd rather push instead of play safe. Uh-oh.

The Blue team is excited by their "sexy drink", which, if I didn't watch tonight's episode, I'd assume to be an Andrew concoction. Erik has similar concerns like Nikki about his dish--corn dogs, which are on his menu at his restaurant back home--because they're likely to get soggy during transportation. But like Nikki, he foolishly hopes for the best.

When the chefs arrive at the Block Party, they're in a "mad rush", says Andrew, to plate their meals. Spike wants to make it the most memorable event they've ever had. Richard concurs and thinks it's a step above their usual feasts...although perhaps not so much for Erik and Nikki, whose worst fears are confirmed. They do whatever they can to salvage things, as the festivities begin. Andrew chats about his "sliders full of awesomeness" (Marry me), which are only one component of a very appetizing menu from the Red team (their dishes include the mini-sliders, a taco salad, pork skewers, Waldorf chicken salad, corn dogs, pasta salad, and s'mores on a stick).

The Blue team's sounds equally as delicious (theirs include the sexy drink, a BBQ sandwich, mac-and-cheese, a paella, fruit crumble, the sugary wontons, and an upside-down cookie). However, they're feeling rather demolished and are just trying to comfort each other on the hard work that they did. Antonia hugs Richard and says "It's over"...or is it? But why are they feeling so down-trodden? Because of how nonchalant, fun, and charismatic the Red team is appearing...they're definitely working the crowd, and even participating with the kids and locals in the activities. Andrew played some hoops and jabbers about throwing a ball...with his mind!

But perhaps the Red team inflated their heads a tad too much, because Padma walks into the waiting room and calls the Blue team in. Andrew rants that there's no way it's a loss. The Reds look generally aggravated, but rightly so. But before the Blues feel too enthused, Tom expresses how disappointed he was with both teams. It was an extremely uneven and unimpressive display of chefsmanship apparently, but they still won by a very slight margin. Before any favorites are announced, Richard is scolded for his paella, which was, to the judges, really more of a rice pilaf. Nikki was also reprimanded for her poor dish. But the judges did offer some compliments, sent the way of Stephanie, Antonia, and Mark (they stated that they loved the entire dessert menu, which I assume includes his cookies). And then, a very surprised Stephanie was named to be the winner...yet again! Oh man, that was a great moment...she must really be something. So far, she's won 2/3 challenges and is clearly the woman to beat. She's so cute and modest about it too, because she didn't expect to win a second time--especially not so soon. This season is going to be something....

And in came a very dejected Red team, in much shock and disbelief. Spike contests how astounded he was that they were the losing team, after how well the worked and satisfied the crowd. Andrew twitches with boiling rage and exclaims security will have to drag him out of there, because "This is MAH house!", and then he slapped Denzel Washington. No, not really, but in that moment he certainly embodied his inner Ruby Dee (Recent Oscar-nominee for playing Denzel's mama in American Gangster...anyone?). But neither of those two gentlemen really needed to worry about much, for their dishes weren't dissed. It seemed as if Jennifer and Dale were in a safe haven, too. The most displeasurable, for the judges, were Ryan's Waldorf chicken salad (lacking crunch; had too much chicken), Zoi's pasta salad (uninspired and bland), and Erik's soggy corn dogs (which Tom noted he should've been more prepared for, since it's a regular feature on his menu).

Before elimination began, something took place that was slightly unexpected. Erik decided to let the judges know that Zoi was stuck with her dish against her will, because that was all that was left, and he didn't feel it was fair for her to suffer because of that. I was impressed. That was such a genuine and gentlemanly thing to do, and it proved how much class and professionalism he truly possesses underneath it all. Zoi was tense and upset that she didn't speak up about the dish before the challenge began, but she needn't have worried. He probably saved her by speaking up at the table. Great integrity...and it was a wonderfully high note to leave on, when he was told to pack his knives and go. And really, on this show, that's the best way to go.

So we return to the Top Chef Chicago home and find out contestants going about their morning routine. One chef has left already and the worst is yet to come. They're getting used to their new setting, bonding with one another while simultaneously sizing up their competition. Spike says that Nimma shouldn't have been ousted so soon. Perhaps he has some tension with his other contestants? Ahhh, the fun is just beginning.

Zoi and Jennifer discuss how they're trying to keep a comfortable distance so as not to affect their competitive nature. (Somewhere in the world, a thousand straight guys groaned in disappointment.) Valerie mentions that her and Stephanie worked together years ago and that she hopes they can team up together sometime soon. This is usually a sign of doom, as whenever a bond is mentioned between two chefs, one is usually sent packing. Will they beat the odds?

It's not long before the chefs are to begin their next Quickfire challenge. They arrive at the Farmer's Market and are greeted by Padma. The chefs are quite enthusiastic until they learn they are only permitted to use five items in their dish--including both the items purchased at the market AND those found in the Top Chef pantry. These don't include four basic ingredients: salt, pepper, sugar, and canola/olive oil. Dun dun DUNN. And with the clock ticking, they are off.

The cheftestants scurry around, in a desperate effort to gather their ideas and items in the time allotted. In this rush, Spike obtains poorly cut meat, Richard pours on the desire to be unique and separate himself, and Mark manages to walk off without snatching one of his items. By the time he notices this, he's run out of time and is unable to return and pick it up, leaving him in a mental frenzy attempting to put ideas together.

They then return to the kitchen to conjure up their meals. Richard learns that the guest judge is Wylie Dufresne, a fellow molecular gastronomist. As he tries to suppress his giddiness and keep his boner contained, he feels confident that he will impress his idol. Valerie tells us that she's mellow in the kitchen and needs to figure out a way to assert herself. Her spotlight continues to grow more ominous with this clip when time is called and Padma and Wylie make their way through the chefs to taste their potentially delectable delicacies. Some appear to be good, some bad, and some disqualified...well, one: Andrew. When he named his five ingredients, he mistakenly included one item that was NOT part of the four basic ingredients permitted...to which he simply utters dorkily, "Poop". Adorable.

When all is said and done, Wylie announces his bottom three...much to his surprise, Richard's eucalyptus-tinted chicken soup dish was too greasy, Erik's dish was poorly presented, and Spike's flawed cuts of meat failed to leave an impression. However, the three that did impress him were one of last week's bottom four (Ryan), our mellow and self-concious chef (Valerie), and the forgetful shopper (Mark). And the winner of the challenge turned out to be the kiwi, who overcame leaving an item behind to prepare an impressive dish and thus provide himself with immunity from the next Elimination Challenge.

Speaking of which, the chefs were kept in the dark to the details as they drew knives for teams. And on each knife...were different animals. They were baffled when they extracted such blades as Vulture, Gorilla, Lion, Penguin, and Bear. Andrew aspires to do lion, because he feels he has a fierce growl. In fact, he roars for us. Growwwwwwl. Oh, run away with me, please. However, when he draws his knife, it turns out to be penguin...which is fine by him, because "penguin is dope". Represent!

After all have drawn, the teams turn out to be as follows: The vultures are represented by Zoi, Mark, and Manuel; the gorillas by Stephanie, Valerie, and Antonia; the lion by Ryan, Erik, and Richard; the penguin by Andrew, Lisa, and Jennifer; and the bear by Nikki, Dale, and Spike. Padma then explains that the challenge is a cocktail party for 200 people at the Lincoln Park Zoo and they are to base their dishes off said animal's diet.Zoi ponders on what vultures could possibly eat...road kill and squirrels, perhaps? Yeah, that seems accurate. However, the menus provided to them offer something else to the chefs.

Antonia shows her early cunt attitude by stating how she mistrusts Valerie, whose cooking she hasn't tasted as opposed to Stephanie's, whose dish last week she adored. The gorillas have a primarily vegetarian diet, but Stephanie and Antonia decide to put a carnivorous spin on it. Valerie disagrees with this, but goes along with the group...uh oh. Dale also exhibits some more cockiness when he whines that he doesn't like to team up when trying to win a competition. Aw, how sad for you.

The groups head off to the grocery store, where Spike morphed into an animal when shopping and embodied his inner bear. Yay, he's dropped the douchebag exterior...well, this week anyway. Unfortunately, Lisa slipped due to something that rolled off during Spike's stampede. No injuries though, thankfully. Valerie's group expresses concern for her and blah, blah, girl drama, save it for the CW, thanks. And Nikki insists that they spend some money on decor for the table, which makes me worry that she's losing focus on her dish.

We return to the kitchen, where Andrew begins slamming pots and pans on a jumbo bag of ice. Oh, this sneaky devil is up to something...and it seems like some kind of wonderful. Because his group is the penguin tribe, he's decided to make a flavored glacier to help emphasize the theme. Now THERE'S the genius I knew he had in him. "That's kosh," he says, as he jigs back and forth from the pantry. Could he be on all future reality shows? PLEASE??

Not long after, Tom enters the kitchen and surveys the chefs' work. When he learns of the glacier, his interest is piqued in a slightly skeptical, but ever intrigued way. When Tom asks how it's going, he replies "We're sexy". Mmmm. Damn right you are. One of the other chefs than enters Andrew's zone and Andrew begins shouting "Sabotage! Sabotage!", much to my delight. I'm seriously ready to elope with him at this point. Ya know, after his reign is over and all, of course.

Stephanie begins to panic when she realizes her chips are soggy. Valerie expresses pessimism over her bilinis, because they're better when served immediately. And Nikki's group is displeased with the look of the stuffed mushrooms, as they appear to look like turds. And that's right out of the mouth of Spike and Dale, our Top Chef asses.

Antonia continues her reign of bitchitude by dissing Valerie to the camera at every chance she gets. Gee, I don't know woman...perhaps if you supported your fellow contestant a little more, you might save your karma from planting you in front of a moving train after you become a cripple. I hope you choke.

The gala begins and the tasting follows. Tom looks as distant as ever...probably wishes he was at his Mr. Clean convention. At the gorillas' table, Stephanie decides she will not allow those chips to be served and tosses together a crab salad. Turns out the salad is watery and blah, basically. It's a good thing her banana bread was so delicious, otherwise I'd be panicking at this point. Antonia's dish was well-received, but Valerie's were not. Then over at the vultures' table, the judges were in heaven. They adored Mark's and Zoi's meals. The lions were...barely acknowledged. The bears were met with some disappointment, as Nikki chose to let the judges eat their mushrooms despite withdrawing them from being served. Fortunately, when the judges met with the penguins' team, they were utterly delighted. They loved Lisa's, Jennifer's, but especially Andrew's glacier and squid creations.

Back at the judges' table, the Vultures and Penguins were chosen as their two favorite teams. But when it came time to award a winner...the victor was, lo and behold...Andrew! Sweet! I'm so thrilled...especially because he was the most creative. I didn't have to taste it to know how genius it was.

As for the least favorites, the losers were the Bears and Gorillas...specifically Nikki's mushrooms, Stephanie's salad, and Valerie's bellinis. Thankfully, the banana bread spared her this time and Nikki's platter were really a problem caused by the whole group. Spike stood up for her though, thankfully, when Dale tried to place all the blame on her in a desperate attempt to save himself. Oh, shut up. Antonia reaffirmed all uberbitch impressions when asked which she'd hire in a restaurant, Stephanie or Valerie (clearly, a producers' decision based on the footage). And in the end, without much surprise, Valerie was sent packing her knives. She was certainly a genuine person who just didn't care much for the competition angle. She's no doubt a good cook though, as some of her dishes have impressed. And frankly, that's not a bad note to end on...so tune in next week to see what's served next and who is served with a plane ticket home!

We get brief introductions to some of our potentials as they arrive at the airport and meet at the Pizzeria Uno. Here begins Bravo's quest to exhume your affection. Ryan was a Chef Boyargenius who outcooked two more experienced chefs when he was only 11 years old. Nimma has domineering parents who intended to imprison her until she gets married. Zoi has a softer side and is from San Francisco...more on her in a moment. Mark is our stock foreigner, from New Zealand (at least he's from someplace more unique--God, how boring are the British already...), who first arrived in America years ago with nothing but $200 in his backpack. At this point, I've yet to be roped in.

Every season, at least one "cheftestant" has a mohawk. This year, we have two: Richard and Jennifer. Such diversity! I'm digging Richard soon enough, as he appears to be our risk-taker, who's not afraid to think outside of the box in his culinary executions. I'm also finding Jennifer to be particularly intriguing (again, more reasons why to come), because she has a very personable, fun aura about her. Erik is shown next and we're immediately led to believe he's our token hothead. This will later prove unfounded. Next up is Andrew. He is a dorkus malorkus from the get-go and I'm in heaven. He's so silly and proud of his food nerdism, but fortunately avoiding true cockiness along the way. (He opts for endearing goofball instead.) And then, we meet Stephanie, who tells us she's a bundle of fun with hidden anxieties. I'm loving her humble demeanor, but trepidacious of getting too invested, as nerves tend to be a sign of weakness...but perhaps she will overcome!

We're soon reminded that Chicago is the haven for deep-dish pizzas, a far-from-subtle foreshadowing of the first Quickfire Challenge. But before that begins, a revelation is made by Jennifer and Zoi that they are a couple. That's right, a Bravo first! A competing lesbian couple (again, Bravo), who were both selected based on their skills (although it is possible that an executive from Big Brother/The Real World escaped and infiltrated Bravo's braintrust to add some flavor). Naturally, this will be a source of some drama (see: ratings) later on this season. Most of the chefs seem unaffected by it--most likely because they don't see it being much of a problem.

Well, except for douchebag Spike. He groans because he's insecure that the lesbians will outlast him, then tries to comfort himself by saying "they can just go home together!" [Cue smug grin.] He's lucky he's suave and Greek (birth name is Evangelos--hella sexy), which might redeem his arrogant attitude.

With that melodramatic segment out of the way--which I applaud the couple for doing, as it shows strength of character and that they're both honest, upfront people who won't be surreptitious competitors to watch out for--the show gets rolling along. Padma and Tom arrive. The Quickfire Challenge folks is--yup, you guessed it--to make your own signature deep-dish pizza within 90 minutes, using all of the Top Chef Kitchen ingredients. They are also permitted to use any items they brought on their own accord, up to $200 worth each.

We learn that Andrew is basically a whore for pressure, because he feels challenged and invigorated by it. Stephanie, on the other hand, is so nervous, she winds up slicing her finger. Now that'd make for a tasty paste--at least for the Transylvanians in the local area.

Next, say hello to Dale, our resident cocky Asian. (I'm sorry, but after the multiple Hung fiascoes of last year, I've had my fill.) However, to his credit, he seems like a watered-down version of Hung...a little more pleasant and reserved. That's definitely a plus...for now. The next few frames zoom right by: Valerie works in fine dining, Manuel is skilled in Mediterranean flavors; Nikki didn't measure her pizza dough, Mark is infusing an Aussie product, Antonia is of Italian descent and clearly confident, Richard's adding a southern flavor, Spike's giving it a Greek touch, and Lisa is a devotee of Latin and Asian components. Phew!

Andrew spent so much time prepping and kneading his dough that he failed to notice Richard had swiped what he assumed was an extra pot. Andrew starts cracking on him, saying what a sneaky competitor he's up against, with an extra dose of some silly white boy speak. (God, I love this guy.) Already at a disadvantage, he grabs a skillet and tries to Tim Gunn it (a.k.a. make it work, for all you noobs). Stephanie's crust falls apart...uh oh. And Dale chimes in--in a very Hung-ian manner, I might add--that he examined some of the other chefs' pizzas "and some are really *beep*". Clearly, that could mean oh, so many things, right?...Like flamboyant, or Canadian.

They all deliver the pizzas to the door of a mystery house. When they ring the doorbell, who else would emerge but Rocco DiSpirito. Thus, 2/3 of the cheftestants begin praising him to the camera. Eh, it's all just really, because Rocco is all kinds of awesome. The chefs make their way inside, passing Padma holding a cue stick at the pool table for no reason whatsoever. She's so game for Bravo's attempted realism, I love it.

And then, one by one, they bring out their pizzas for critiquing. A few were lauded, while many others caused the two judges to grimace and force out "thank you"s. After each were sampled, Rocco divided the sixteen into two groups of eight. The losing group consisted of: Lisa, Nimma, Valerie, Manuel, Zoi, Nikki, Stephanie, and Andrew. The winning group, therefore, was comprised of: Richard, Mark, Jennifer, Erik, Ryan, Dale, Spike, and Antonia. However, no immunity was granted--which is unusual for a Quickfire Challenge.

Then the exhausted chefs were lavished with some wonderful news: This mysterious house will be their Top Chef home! And so began some mingling and socializing for most of the housemates...except for poor Nimma, who was disappointed over her loss and took to her bed early. Oh, and Dale showed signs of Howie last year by stating that he wasn't here for relationships, he was here for the competition and that you have to remove yourself from...oh, who cares? He's the lone wolf.

The next day, the cheftestants arrive in the kitchen and are separated by their winning and losing groups from the previous night. The winners are asked to draw knives...and then Padma explains the first Elimination Challenge of the season. They will select one of the members from the other team to battle head-to-head with them on reinventing one of 8 classic dishes written on the chalkboard. The losing team member gets to select which meal to interpret.

Richard selects Andrew, much to the latter's glee, and he chooses crab cakes. Mark picks Stephanie and she opts for duck à l'orange. Jennifer chooses Nikki, who goes with lasagna. Antonia selects Nimma, who picks shrimp Scampi. Spike and Lisa take eggs Benedict. Dale and Manuel go for steak au poivre. Ryan and Valerie decide on chicken piccata. And that leaves Erik and Zoi, who are stuck with soufflé--which neither has made in YEARS.

More delicious Andrew indulgence ensues when he discovers the kitchen...does not have ANY. MAYONNAISE. IN. STOCK. Seriously, Top Chef, for real? You'll have geoduck reduction honey glaze but no sandwich lubricant?! In any event, Andrew notices his competitor had the foresight to purchase mayonnaise earlier. Oh gee, I wonder who's the victor for this dish...but Andrew doesn't surrender, oh no. He makes his OWN...from scratch! Richard feels guilty and offers his mayo, but Andrew politely refuses...oh pride, you tricky deadly sin, you.

Starting from scratch is also on Nikki's mind when she creates her own pasta for the lasagna...brilliant. My mouth was already watering...as it was when Stephanie decided to use the entire duck for the full experience. Smart move I thought, as opposed to Mark, who took a minimalistic approach. And Stephanie's just finished garnishing her platter, with the unsteadiest hand ever, when...time! "Hands up, utensils down"...approach the judges.

First up are Stephanie and Mark. The judges orgasm over Stephanie's duck dish, while finding Mark's elemental breakdown to be confusing. Anthony Bourdain, taking over Gail Simmons/Ted Allen's usual spot, goes on to say that with Stephanie's dish, he found himself continuing to consume it long after he was supposed to. Yay, Stephanie! She wins this round and is up for winning overall, while Mark is potential cannon fodder.

Richard and Andrew go next. The judges love Richard's and have mild fondness (with a few complaints) for Andrew's. But there can only be one winner, and that's Richard. The decision is even tougher with Jennifer and Nikki, as Tom says both are amazing platters of food. But one uncooked component of Jennifer's dish combined with the genius and gutsy decision to roll her own pasta gets Nikki a win and potential top slot (although clearly, Jennifer's got nothing to worry about).

The challenges roll on, w/ Antonia's shrimp beating Nimma's, Lisa's eggs triumphing over Spike's, and Dale's steak besting Manuel's. When it came to the chicken, the judges were displeased with both, because neither truly grasped the concept of the classic dish. But in the end, Valerie's flavors redeemed her fault while Ryan's foolishly breaded chicken put him in the hot seat. And finally, along came the soufflés.

The judges were critical of their dishes, stating that neither were truly soufflés. However, they felt that Erik's was deflated and his entire dish was sloppy, while Zoi's dish was far more delectable. (No doubt the dessert factor gained her bonus points.) And so, the last pair adjourned to the waiting area as the judges sat at their infamous table, discussing who were their favorites.

Padma emerges in the door frame and requests to see Antonia, Nikki, Richard, and Stephanie. Dale, avoiding even a phony grimace, scowls and curses without hesitance. Oh, how sad for you...guess that means statistics are now against you? (Note: In the previous three seasons, the winner was in the top of the first Elimination Challenge. In the first two seasons, that winner won the entire competition.) Naturally, those four were announced as the favorite dishes in this challenge. Each judge had something to rave about each dish. But when it came time to announce the winner, Rocco declared the victor to be...Stephanie! Our little bundle of nerves managed to make a sumptuous and magnificent meal that tickled everyone's palette to the extreme. This is surely going to be a confidence boost for her and maybe she'll have more faith in herself for weeks to come.

The four, of course, now had to return and send back the four worst: Ryan, Erik, Nimma, and Mark. The judges grilled Nimma on her oversalting, which made her dish inedible. Mark was slammed for his incoherent concept. Erik was bashed for having a mess of a platter. And Ryan was lambasted for being oblivious as to the origins of his dish.

In the end though, of little surprise to no one, Nimma was sent packing her knives to go. She seems like a sweet person who just lacked confidence and conviction, but is still growing and blossoming. Ryan probably feels most relieved, as had it not been her, it would most likely have been him.

During this episode, a poll was conducted: Do you think Jennifer and Zoi have an advantage being in a romantic relationship? 22% said Yes, but 78% wisely said No. Among the preview clips for future episodes, there seems to be drama on the horizon between Jennifer and Spike (ugh), as well as a mishmash of other stuff that I dazed out during. Not much to comment on, really. Nonetheless, I think we have one juicy season on our hands...so check back next week for the next recap!

And a special thanks go out to Rachel and Mac for giving me this opportunity. Let me know what you thought of my first post and share all your thoughts about tonight's contestants and the food they worked with! -- James De Roxtra