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Survivor Fodder

Survivor: Fans vs. Favorites - Week 5: Karma Hits Like a Mac Truck...and So Does Joel

Karma's a real bitch, especially when it comes back to bite you so quickly in the ass. Joel learned this lesson the hard way this week and even admitted it himself. Unfortunately, for him, his tribe, and viewers like me who liked him, it also means he's out of the game. Here are the big hits on what went down this week:

1) Tribal Shuffle -- Not just a cool dance your fat, racist friend made up, this week the Survivor fans and favorites got mixed up into new tribes, meaning most bets are off. It was initially great to see Amanda, Ozzy, James, and Parvati's reaction, as they had a huge alliance AND the immunity idol (although Ozzy felt the need to tell them and I'm not exactly sure why. I mean, great you found the idol, but just shut up and play it safe...). What was even better was seeing Cirie, who after all her bluster last week, just lost all her clout...which she never really had to begin with...

The two tribes are now:
Malakal (which I thought meant that's weird): Ozzy, Amanda, Cirie, Ami, Joel, Erik, Tracy, & Chet
Airai: Jonathan, James, Parvati, Eliza, Alexis, Natalie, Jason, & Kathy.

While this shakes things up, I wasn't super excited that the couples are still together within each tribe and Joel was super unhappy that Chet was in the same tribe as him again. That aspect doesn't get any better for Joel as the show goes on.

2) The Reward Challenge: was astounding entertaining this week. A bunch of people got injured and Chet got straight up abused. But I'm getting ahead of myself. The winner of the challenge got steak and sides and wine, so both groups are amped up. Tied together in pairs, one pair must chase the other to grab their flag. They get a point for grabbing the flag within the time limit, and the other tribe gets one if they fail to catch them. Oh, and the whole thing takes place in an obstacle course reminiscent of crappy forts I used to build when I was little. There is wood and rope everywhere. Ironically, Joel and Chet are tied together, but this doesn't lead to an incident the first time around when they are the ones fleeing. The score stays relatively close as they try to reach 3 pts, and a couple of injuries occur. Parvati (aka Poverty as called by Jason by accident and from now on by me on purpose) wacks her lip and it starts to swell. Jonathan is stabbed in the knee by something sharp and will have to get medical treatment later. He grits out the pain while two medics stitch him back up, but infection is a big issue. Jason gets smashed into a tree when he gets wrapped up, and finally, Joel and Chet are back up again-- this time chasing. This challenge perfectly illustrates these two survivors. Joel runs quickly and with confidence, and Chet tries to keep up, falling and hopping along behind him like the gimp in Pulp Fiction. When he slips and can't keep up, he gets literally dragged through the mud by Joel, who then yells at him to keep up. Chet gets the worst of it when he is pulled along and smacks his head gruesomely against several obstacles while Joel tries to get the flag. Each time Chet can't keep up and hurts himself, Joel and the rest of the tribe yell at him. Eventually, Joel just barely misses getting a last second catch, and they lose the challenge. "I hit my head really hard," Chet says. "I don't care," Joel replies bluntly. "I know," Chet tells him and wanders off to sit down. Even though Chet's a horrible competitor thus far, and while I have to admit to laughing quite loudly and in shock as Chet was abused by the course and Joel, I have to feel horrible for him. Nobody deserves to get their ass kicked that badly and then thrown to the curb at the end. I'm sure Survivor edited out some consolation footage, but nobody could have felt that badly with Chet clearly being a liability and a mope around camp. I also have to question who came up with that challenge and if why they didn't do a little beta testing?? I like an element of danger as much as the next guy, but tying people to together was probably enough-- the whole sharp sticks and obstacles portion probably could have been left out. When they get back to their camp and start settling in, Chet goes over to the chickens and says he's good with chickens and grew up with them.

"You know who was good with Chickens?" I ask my girlfriend?
"Chicken," I reply. "And his ass got voted out quick!"

3) Immunity Challenge: Honestly, nothing too big here, but it's obviously important. They threw rocks at hanging tiles, which fell when the tiles were broken. Then the tiles formed a pattern. Tada! Airai comes back from being slightly behind to win, mostly because Malakal can't figure out the patterna and Chet tries to direct the puzzle project, which is like asking Stevie Wonder to play catch. Joel interrupts Chet's orders from the sideline and confusion throws them all off.

4) Joel and Ozzy meet to discuss plans while Erik watches them. It's clear they are the two leaders of the tribe, and the spokespeople for the fans and favorites. They agree that Chet should be voted out first and Cirie should be second, so that it's still 3-3. They need to improve the tribe to stay strong. Cirie hears that the plan is to vote out the weaker members first, which she'd be ok with except that she's included in the group of weaker members, which she seems to resent. There must be a vault of "Cirie Doing Useful Things" footage that was edited out and stored on the CBS lot somewhere, because I haven't seen Cirie do a damn useful thing the entire time they've been on the island. Even last season she was in, she didn't seem to contribute too much, and while her game was decent, she IS a weaker member. Seeing the path voting out Chet will take, she tries to convince Ozzy to vote out Joel instead. She says Chet is weak and a pawn, while Joel is strong, but a threat. I don't know exactly how this line of thinking SAVES her down the line, but at least it'll give her a few more councils to figure something out. On the other hand, by voting out Chet, Ozzy's crew would have the numbers and could vote out Joel at any time in the future. So we go to tribal council.

5) Not entirely inexplicably, but certainly not the most obvious choice, Ozzy makes the call and votes out Joel. For the third straight week, Cirie has determined the vote through, "I'm useless, vote out the strong" logic, and I can't believe it keeps happening. My one consolation is that these people aren't all blind, and ultimately, Cirie will get voted out for her uselessness as people almost always do (Amber...). Goodbye Joel, I miss you and your wild mane, crazy eyes, and gigantic club arms already. Go find Mary and have some fun.

Keep Your Fire Burnin',

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Posted by jon on March 8, 2008 7:19 PM
Permalink |

I agree with you on the uselessness of Cirie, and hope the rest ofthem realize it sooner or later.

Best thing about the mix-up is taking Jonathan out of the crosshairs. Too bad it didn't happen soon enough to save Yau-Man.

Just hope Jonathan doesn't go out for medical reasons.

1. Posted by: cecil Rose at March 9, 2008 5:53 PM

I can honestly say, this was the BEST episode of this season so far. I hated Joel, probably because he orchestrated voting out my early pick, Mikey B, by claiming Mikey was ruling camp, just like Joel did to get Mikey out.

So no tears here. But I did watch, and rewatch, and rewatch, laughing all the time as Chet became Joel's lazy dog thru the fallen trees and dagger-like branches. Oh my gosh that was rough and hilarious. But it quietly opened up the mean side of Joel, which I think led to the idea of him being the ousted.

Cirie is lazy, but she's not dumb, not by any means. She is learning the game. It's not just "win the game", it's "make it to the next day", "survive tribal council." And she has, and she does.

Don't get me wrong, I hope she goes next episode, but she's playing the game. I'm pulling for Jonathon, and I agree the mixup was the best chance he has, and it's good for the show.

But once Ice Cream Boy gets over his Ozzy-fetish, he might wake up and realize that Ozzy will have to be voted out before the merge if they want any chance. Or else Ozzy will show why he is the best challenger the show has ever had.

Poverty, yes, loved that! She's about as useless as Cirie, except for that fat lip, wow, she took a smack.

I'm also impressed that Ami is playing the "quiet, under the radar game" as well. She's learned. Just hope Jonathon survives what looks to be a severe infection.

And dumbest act so far? Ozzy showing the idol. IDIOT, has he not watched any of the shows, including his own? You NEVER show that you have the idol, not even if Amamda is giving it to you under the cave, good grief. He may be strong and athletic, but he's as dump as a stump when it comes to mental strategy.

2. Posted by: dcj3400 at March 10, 2008 10:23 AM

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