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Survivor Fodder

Survivor: Week 8 -- A New Lisi On Life

My post this week has to be short (I've said that before) and sweet (which it ultimately was), so I'm going to drop some major points and let my faithful commentors fill in the rest.

Major Event: Alex, Edgardo, and Mookie search for the immunity idol while Lisi and Dreamz sleep right next to them. Mookie finds the idol and the three rush off to rejoice. I'm not sure how this "sharing" of the idol works, but as far as I'm concerned and as far as Mookie is concerned, MOOKIE has the idol in his pocket. Lisi wakes up and thinks she's snooped out Mookie searching for the idol while he was covering his tracks, but she proves once again that she's an idiot, by going on a rant including, "You're gonna have to wake up really really early to fool an old cat like me!" Well, consider him woken up early.

For the Rewards Challenge, Moto and Ravu meet some Fijians who teach them a native dance routine. Earl and Alex take the lead position for each tribe and try to have everyone else fall in behind them. Earl has a clear advantage as he busts out his "Michael Jackson moves." They go to the natives' village and dance in front of three judges. Moto comes out and nails it, staying together, completely focused, and dressed accordingly. Earl does a great job and the rest do too. Then Ravu goes. Ravu has the focus and the interest, but not the coordination. Lisi is out of sync a bunch of times, and other parts just don't quite fit. Me: "Dreamz is gonna have to come up big to make up for a few forgotten moves." Moments later: Dreamz does a backflip from a completely stopped position to conclude the dance. Touche. Regardless of the outcome, I was impressed that both tribes were able to pull off memorizing even half of their routines. Oh yeah, the judges select Moto as the winners (extraneous backflips aside). They just had the routine down better. Fijian feast goes to Moto. Lisi goes back to Exile Island.

Lisi has a miserable night on Exile Island-- like the type of night I imagine I would have if I had to hang out with Lisi.

The Immunity Challenge involves blowing darts, throwing spears, and shooting arrows at targets. Edgardo claims that he "is pretty good at archery," which is just a funny thing to hear him say. The best dart shot is worth 1 pt, 2 pts for spear, and 3 pts for arrow. Moto takes the blow darts-- 1 pt. No one can hit the spear target until Yau-Man sets himself up, takes a running start, and uses his Physics Superpowers to hit the target for the best shot. Moto wins the 2 pts. 3-0. Final part is the arrow shooting. Time for Edgardo right? Yau-Man picks out the straightest possible arrow, kneels down, makes physics his bitch, and hits the lead shot. It's all up to Edgardo for the final shot....and.....he....misses the target entirely. It's also clear he has no idea how to shoot a non-21st century bow. A lot of let downs this season.

Lisi declares that she is surrounded by a bunch of Losers. She says they just can't win. With 4 former Moto-ans and 1 former Ravu-an remaining, I'm not sure where the hell she's coming from, but she decides she wants to quit and go home because she doesn't want to lose again and go back to Exile. GOOD. Dreamz is happy too, and reminds us how much he doesn't like Lisi......THEN WHY DIDNT YOU VOTE FOR HER LAST WEEK AND SAVE ROCKY YOU FREAKING IDIOT!??? DREAMZ IS DEAD TO ME...but I still want him to win. At the very very last minute, Lisi decides she DOESN'T want to go and what would happen if she decides to stay? I know she didn't plan it, but what a scam. She created a situation where it would be nearly impossible for them to say, "we'd vote you out anyway." They go to tribal with Dreamz now having a target on him.

Tribal: Jeff gets Dreamz to finally come out of his shell and rail against Lisi who has nothing to say for herself. I feel like if Dreamz actually spoke like he did at Tribal in camp, people might actually like him. Dreamz does this awesome bit where he asks if she wants to be there and she doesn't answer. He asks the other ones and they all say Yes. Lisi still doesn't answer. Dreamz can't remember the word soliloquy again and that's cool because HE USED TO BE HOMELESS. REMEMBER?? They get to the vote with my fingers very very crossed. Jeff reads the votes and (surprisingly, to be honest) Lisi is voted off the island 4-1. THANK GOODNESS. Go home, Lisi. Dreamz saved his ass and maybe if they merge next week, everything will change.

Until Next Week, Keep Your Fire Burnin',

Posted by jon on April 6, 2007 3:11 PM
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The one question that continues to puzzle me is - How come nobody who's going to be on "Survivor" ever seems to practice the skills that crop up on virtually every single season of "Survivor"?

A case in point. Archery. Even 5 minutes of instruction would have markedly improved any of the contestants' skills. EVERY SINGLE ONE, even Yau-Man was "pinching the bowstring". This is a sure sign of "never held a real bow before in my life". Anyone with even the most fundamental training knows to hold the bowstring with the tips of three fingers, one over and two under the noch of the arrow. Then let the string slide off the fingertips for the smoothest possible release.

Not one contestant did that. Pinching the string is what children do with toy bows, and the further you pull back, the harder the strain of holding the string, and the more the hand trembles, throwing off the shot.

If you're going on Survivor, for goodness sakes, practice making fire with primitive tools, shooting a bow, throwing a spear, swimming, anything else that can help you out.

Also, Lisi and Edgardo's individual foot-in-mouth moments were priceless.

1. Posted by: Cecil Rose at April 6, 2007 6:53 PM

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