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Survivor Fodder

Survivor: Week 3 - This Isn't Survival...It's Thrival

Alright, turns out every episode is named by a dumb quote from the show so after this week-- NO MORE TV.COM know, I mean...if I'm allowed to do that-- I'm still not sure of the rules.


It's Week 3 of Survivor and it's time for our very first Live Diary post. Every now and then, I'll throw one of these in to spice things up, make us all feel like one viewing group, and save myself the time of going back and writing once the show is over. Time to jump into the action, because it is now:

8:01 "“ Ravu is still dyin' in the crap camp. They still can't make fire! somehow this still confounds me. Maybe CBS has rules against practicing anything before getting on the show. That would explain why Charlie Sheen isn't any good at comedy.

8:08 "“ Boo looks like he is turning into a smurf (did Gary bite him?), and life is good in the Moto camp.

8:09 "“ Earl returns from Snakesland and is coy about the idol. Michelle busts out some glasses to start a fire with. Who do I know who thought to do that? Oh yeah--ALL LITTLE KIDS EVER. Thanks to a heavy prescription, the glasses trick works, and they finally get fire.

8:11 "“ Rocky quips, "We are so fired up right now." Fortunately for him, I guarantee he didn't mean the pun, I'm not sure he even knows what puns are. You know those characters on the show who just have this aura about them that says, "I'm not getting voted out for a long while no matter what"? Well Rocky is one of those. They always just kind of insist on staying and then when it gets down to like six people, some loud annoying breakdown takes place and he's voted out. I'm callin' it now.

8:13 "“ Reward Challenge. They have to run down a slip n' slide, grab a tennis ball and shoot it into a basket. First one to 6 wins. The folks at Double Dare are brushing off their transcripts and getting ready for a lawsuit. Winner gets their luxury item. Lisi sits out for Moto. Here we go:

8:14 "“ Gary aka Papa Smurf battles Anthony. Gary takes like four diggers down the stretch, but scores first and wins. Rita battles Cassandra next, slips and falls, and we get out first blurred nipple of the season. As if Rita's nipples would convey anything besides an unspoken sadness and the urge to make you want to help her. AND SHE GETS THE POINT.

8:15 "“ Boo vs. Rocky. CLASSIC MATCHUP, but it's over before it started. Boo paddles down the slick, grabs his ball and shoots all in one motion. Welcome to the game, Boo. Point.

8:16 "“ Stacey vs. Michelle aka the "Who Are They Again?" Matchup. They tip-toe to the basket and miss a bunch of times before Stacey puts it in. Moto leads 3-1.

8:17 "“ Mookie vs. Alex. Alex falls. Mookie misses once, lines it up like a basketball and drains it. 3-2.

8:18 "“ Sylvia vs. Liliana. Sylvia is terrrrrrible and takes a big fall. Liliana used to be a marine and owns it. She eventually hits her shot and they go up 4-2.

8:19 "“ Earl vs. Edgardo. They get there evenly. Earl takes his time and barely misses. Edgardo puts it in and the lead is huge. 5-2

8:20 "“ Yao-Man vs. Dre(amz). Another classic match. 1 pt for Moto to win. It should be noted that Yao-man looks freakish without his shirt on. Dreamz misses and he's hurtin. Yao-man is not quite Yao and misses a bunch too. A ton of near misses. Yao-man JUST misses and Dreamz puts it away. Moto wins, but Dreamz busts the myth that all homeless people are nasty from the foul line. Moto wins reward it turns out that each matchup took about a minute.

8:21 "“ First break and we're rollin'. Good solid challenge, but I'll tell ya what. No matter how many times they show me this commercial, I ain't gonna buy Campbell's soup and who the hell is drinking soup nowadays anyway?

8:24 "“ How pumped am I for Amazing Race All-Stars? Considering I hate the show, Rob and Amber really do own me.

8:25 "“ Finally back. Sylvia is on Exile Island again! Ha! Love it! Aw crap--she finds a clue that says the idol is right underneath the entrance to the cave back at camp. Back at Moto camp, Papa Smurf Gary can't breath right and says he feels like when he busted his ribs. Dreamz says, "How funny was it when Papa Smurf fell?" Awkward. To cheer everyone up, Gary admits that he forgot his name after he fell and doesn't wanna die in Fiji! ! ..
! !
! !
Let's take a minute to remember he made the hoop. Papa Smurf is tha man. They plan on giving him some local analgesics and see how he goes. Alex tries to tell him to go home if he's hurt--so now I hate Alex.

8:29 "“ Back to commercials? 4 minutes of show? Are you serious?

8:30 "“ Ghost Whisperer doesn't look nearly as scary as that Domino's Garlic Cheesy pizza commercial they just showed.


8:33 "“ Day 8. Lisi looks like she's turning into a Teddy Bear. The immunity challenge is supposed to be mental this time. Gary could still come up big.

8:34 "“ You're not gonna believe what's up for grabs again--IMMUNITY. It's a food eating challenge. I guarantee it's gross.

8:35 "“ Rocky vs. Liliana "“ Giant Clams-- Insert joke here. It's dead even and then Probsty makes the most obvious "I have no idea who just won" call I've ever seen and Rocky wins. Next up, Dreamz vs. Sylvia--Octopus Tentacles. Dreamz don't care. He eats it like beef jerky and wins it.

8:36 "“ Lisi vs. Mookie "“ peanut worms. Invented by George Washington Carver. Mookie dominates and taunts Lisi during the process. Boo's gentlemanly side comes out and he is not happy with the taunting.

8:37 "“ Earl battles Alex "“ Sea Cucumber! .isn't that! like! .Manatee? Alex wins it for Moto and it's tied 2-2.

8:38 "“ Michelle versus Edgardo. FISH EYES. They pop em like! .well, not fish eyes and Edgardo wins. 3-2 Moto.

8:39 "“ Papa Smurf Gary vs. Anthony. AND PAPA IS PUMPED. PIG SNOUTS. Gary is UN-PHASED. PAPA PUTS DOWN THE LAST BITE! AND! WINS IMMUNITY FOR MOTO! HOLLYWOOD ENDING! What's up now, Alex? What's up now? Am I taunting? Sorry, Boo.

8:43 "“ I think this is a good time to ask the Survivor Reader Community a question: I have a grooved line on the inside of my cheek. It arrived today out of nowhere. What's up with that? If you know, please drop a comment, it's kinda weirdin' me out.

8:46 "“ Back at Ravu, Sylvia feels like a target. She points out she has the least amount of strength and skills. Um, alright. Rocky and Rita aka The Uber Couple talk and decide to put Anthony's name in there in case Sylvia has the immunity idol. Rut-oh. Rita tells us she's gonna do something that's (quotes with fingers) "Not with the tribe." I'm not sure who else she thinks should be voted out though. Yao-Man? He's like the Asian Mr. Wizard. Sylvia digs for the idol as the rest look on.

8:49 "“ Tribal Council: Mookie questions Anthony's will to win and effort. Anthony rejects this idea. Is it just me, or does Anthony talk like Dave Chapelle's "white person voice"? Time for the votes. Once again, I'm ok with whoever is sent home out of the two on the chopping block. Rita casts her mystery vote. Here we go: Sylvia, Anthony, Sylvia, Anthony, Sylvia, Anthony, Earl. EARL? Final vote is--Sylvia! Once again, I can't complain. I have to ask though, Rita, if you know your vote won't do anything, why raise suspicions and let the tribe know that someone out there is a liar?

8:55 "“ That's the show folks. Survivor was good, but I can't wait to see "Shooter." Can Mark Wahlberg do any wrong? Gary is the Mark Wahlberg of the Survivor world. I'll leave you with that.

Until next week, keep the fire burnin'! unlike The OC! which is voted out tonight,

Posted by jon on February 23, 2007 8:35 PM
Permalink |

Groove on the inside of your cheek? Sleep in a funny position, perhaps? Not a symptom of anything I'm aware of.

1. Posted by: Cecil Rose at February 26, 2007 12:24 PM

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