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Survivor Fodder

Survivor: Something Cruel Is About To Happen...Real Soon

And we're rolling. Survivor: Fiji kicked off the crazy tonight as the 19 became 18 and we met them all for the very first time. Here's how it went down:

Day 1:
Jeff Probst pulls his usual antics, flying over the island in a seaplane and telling us how Fiji was known for it's cannibalism, uncharted reefs, and formidable warriors. They then show us pictures of waterfalls, the ocean, and two guys about to hack each other up with blades. Thanks for the re-enactment--I wasn't sure what formidable warriors looked like.

Anyway, the show starts out strangely as all 19 are dropped off on shore by a boat and they all start meeting each other. Biggest let down: Yau-Man is pronounced "Yow-Man" not "Yo-Man" like I had hoped. Whattya gonna do. Anyway, things turn around quick as "James" becomes known as Rocky because he looks and sounds a lot like Sylvester Stallone. That's all well and good, but he sure looks a lot more like Al Pacino in Scarface to me.

Next we meet some more of the contestants including Earl, Mookie, and yes, Dre--who now just goes by Dreamz--WITH A Z--OH HELL YEAH. Dreamz was the the homeless street performer and he goes by DREAMZ now. We also meet Anthony who is an "expert eyewitness locator." Boy do I want that job. "Find us an expert eyewitness." Ok! uhhhh! .that! guy--now gimme my money.

Probsty flies overhead and drops a box into the water.

Yau-Man quickly shows us that he IS the man and can rock coconuts like no other. Next, some big games drop a huge rock onto the box and it won't open. Yau-The-Man steps up and drops it on it's corner and it opens up no problem.

The map contains directions to make all kinds of camp stuff including a kitchen, shelter, and toilet. I'm completely baffled. Moments later, they find the lumber, nails, hammers, machete, water, and everything else they could need. Sylvia, the architect, steps up and immediately takes charge of the work, and (shock of all shocks) turns out to be fairly annoying. Has there ever been a time when someone has stepped up and not pissed people off? Gary the Bus Driver says she's pissin' him off. She does, however, use the word "askew" which sends Rocky into a "no big words" speech that makes even Sylvester Stallone cringe.

Erica, who's fro is completely intact since the swim to shore never happened, and Jessica, the token hottie, befriend each other, and Sylvia annoys more people while Dreamz talks about how his water is too hot. Where have I seen him before? He goes into a speech about how being on the island is like when he was homeless and living in the shelter and eating food--but then he says how he loves it because the only problems on the island are running out of food or shelter! .which is cool because he's in his element, but turns the whole "being homeless is bad" thing around.

Dreamz goes too far and pisses all kinds of people off when they're trying to sleep by asking where the white people are, and getting on Rocky's nerves. Dreamz never would have talked like that in front of President Bartlett.

Day 3:

The survivors get to the beach and Sylvia gets to separate the 19 into two groups since she has clearly been the leader thus far. The teams break down like this:

(Hello) Moto Tribe: Cassandra (Sirie without the part where people hate her), Liliana, Stacey, Lisi (last person to be introduced on the show), Dreamz (love his work in The West Wing), Boo, Gary (who they call Papa Smurf in his big blue shirt--bonus points to Gary--Love the guy), Alex (to her credit, the only name Sylvia didn't remember--to his lack of credit, called "the sexy guy in the green shirt"), and Edgardo.

Ravu: Michelle (just as peppy as predicted), Erica (lotta attitude), Rita (biggest surprise, more on this later), Jessica (exactly as predicted), Rocky (quickly becoming my boy), Earl, Yao-Man (nicknamed "Wow-Man" by Sylvia--I KNEW THE LOVE CONNECTION WAS GONNA HAPPEN!), Anthony, and Mookie who thus far is just a totally average dude.

And what does Sylvia get for her efforts? EXILE ISLAND! Awesome. Jeff tells us that on the downside she's going to the island, but on the up-side, there's an immunity idol clue there and she won't be alone--the island is full of thousands of poisonous sea-snakes. What?? I love it, but c'mon Survivor. I'm pretty sure you can't have thousands of poisonous sea snakes anywhere near capable of hurting a contestant. Legal issues maybe. I dunno, ask your legal council cast. I'm just sayin' we're not idiots.

TO THE CHALLENGE: Sylvia replaces the losing team's voted out member.

The Hook: Winner goes back to the nice camp. Loser goes to another crap camp. Suck it up, it's Survivor. You're still in Fiji.

The Game: Each team pulls a chariot along the beach. Puzzle pieces are collected from knotted bags and then they all must be put together at the end of the run. Once they have the pieces in place, the numbers will be revealed that are then used to "undo" a fake combination lock style wheel which gives them a knife to chop the string to make their flag fall (to drop the man into the pan, to get the cheese to catch the mouse). I can only assume images of junior high flash through their minds as they are unable to figure out the combination lock and get bumped by older kids! ..not that I know what that's like! .ha-ha! .hah! .he.

The Result: It's close, but Jessica can't figure out the puzzle (not exactly her fault as she had others doing it too) and "Hellloooooo Moto" wins it. They celebrate in the sweet camp which now has a couch and shower. Ravu goes back to the new crappy camp and tries to remain cheery since they are still on a beautiful island--Erica is not sold on this. Meanwhile, Sylvia gets to exile island and is not nearly freaked out enough by all the snakes that actually are close to her on the island. How are they doing that?? She finds out the clue is back at camp or possibly just somewhere when her back is to the camp.

Jessica, Earl, and Rocky band together and decide to vote out Rita who it turns out is nothing like what I expected. She's down to earth, friendly, capable, and looks much younger than her 38 or whatever years. Basically, she looks like she should be in a Wes Anderson movie. I don't know what it is, but I like her. Perhaps she will become "my girl." We'll have to see, though, because she's in the running to get voted out.

Mookie, Anthony, and others decide that Jessica has to get voted out. They say she wasn't able to put the puzzle together, so she should go. But seriously folks, c'mon, what kind of logic is that. She had to undo the knots AND help put the puzzle together--at least she stepped up and gave it a try. That's more than most of the young women in previous seasons can say. Isn't that the type of person you want on your team? How many knot challenges or puzzle piece problems can there be? Rocky hears Jess might be going home and freaks out, seeing his human blanket on the chopping block. Time for Tribal Council.

Ravu gets to tribal council with no clear decision made. Shocker. Jeff does the usual probing (Probsting?) and the voting begins. I don't know who I want to get voted out. I like Rita now, but CBS has to be holding their breath as their clear choice for "most attractive female" is about to go home in episode 1.

The votes come in and Jessica is going home. 4-1-1-1. Tough break for her and CBS. They head back to camp and that's the show. One episode in the books and I have to say I'm likin' it. What's odd is that so far, I like almost every single person on the island. Except for Sylvia and sometimes Erica, they all seem friendly, interesting personalities with a lot of character to offer.

As for Dreamz, I think I know why he looks familiar: About 6 years ago, I was in Wilmington, NC (his hometown) and walking along bored at night. A young homeless guy came up to me and we started talking. He told me that you can do anything you put your mind to and went on to give evidence. He said that one day he saw something above his head and thought to himself, "I want to be able to kick that." Fair enough, bright eyed homeless youth. He then practiced kicking until he was able to kick above his head. He demonstrated. Cool. Long story short, I'm nearly positive that optimistic homeless teenager was Dreamz. I'll keep my fingers crossed and root for him in the hopes that there's a coconut he wants on a low hanging branch.

Until Next Week, Keep Your Fire Burnin',

Posted by jon on February 9, 2007 1:59 AM
Permalink |

Nice succinct summary. I'm looking forward to reading throughout the season.

1. Posted by: Cecil Rose at February 14, 2007 10:36 AM

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