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Supernatural Fodder

Supernatural: Monster Movie

Monster-Movie.jpgSam and Dean get a report of a murder matching the M.O. of a vampire. They travel to Pennsylvania (the lightning flickering alternates the welcome sign between "Pennsylvania" and "Transylvania" - neat effect) to investigate. It happens to be Oktoberfest, which is good for Dean, as there are plenty of beer wenches.

They pose as FBI agents. The victim has bite marks on the neck, and the murder was actually witnessed by a strange guy named Ed Brewer - who reminds me of Johnny Depp in Ed Wood - who tells a strange story. The vampire looked like Bela Lugosi in the old vampire movies. And spoke like him, too.

They think that's weird, but Dean is willing to hang around. He's met a waitress named Jamie. He tells her he's an FBI agent. She scoffs. He doesn't act like an FBI agent.

"Well ma'am, I'm a maverick. A rebel. I don't play be the rules," he says, giving her a Sarah Palin wink.


She laughs, but no date. She's spending some time with her friend Lucy, another waitress. Girl's night out.

But that night, a man is killed at the local lover's lane. The girl describes it as a werewolf attack. In fact, the body is ripped apart, and the police found wolf hair at the scene. This is strange, because as we saw in "Heart," werewolves don't actually turn into a wolf-like creature. Dean is upset, this is too weird. And it doesn't seem like supernatural creatures, more like a run-of-the-mill psycho.

So they decide to leave. Jamie thinks that's too bad, she says she'll meet Dean after work. Dean agrees to stay one more day to see Jamie. Dean says, "Do you think this Dracula can turn into a bat? That would be cool."

Mummy's curse

That night, a mummy is delivered to the local museum. This is odd because it's a museum of American history. The night watchman is confused, he calls the curator, who has no clue about the delivery.

As they are talking on the phone, the mummy comes to life, and kills the security guard. Sam and Dean are called by the local police, and go investigate. They find that the sarcophagus is a fake, it came from a movie prop store. It even has dry ice inside, to create fog. Dean is confused, but he leaves Sam to investigate, since he's late for his date with Jamie.


Jamie is waiting. She finally gives up, Dean is too late. As she's walking home, Dracula, cape and slicked back hair, the whole package, appears behind her. He calls her Mina, and says they will be together always. She runs. Fortunately, Dean shows up, and fights with the creature. It calls him Jonathan Harker, and tries to bite his neck. He rips its ear off, and it yells and pulls away. Dean tries to grab it, and only manages to pull off a medallion. Dracula runs, and Dean follows, watching as it leaps a tall fence, then drives away on a scooter. No bat.

Three's a crowd

Back at the bar, Dean and Jamie are having drinks. She's shaken. Sam shows up, and Dean shows him the creature's ear, and the medallion. The medallion is fake, the ear is real. Dean tells Sam to touch it. Sam is reluctant, but does. He recognizes the feel. It's shapeshifter skin.

Dean tells Sam about his fight. Sam immediately makes the connection between Dracula, Mina, and Jonathan. In the old Dracula films, Mina Harker was Dracula's love, and Jonathan was Mina's husband. Sam believes the shapeshifter must have an obsession with old monster movies, and he is fixated on Jamie like Dracula was fixated on Mina. Sam asks Jamie if anyone had shown an obsession with her. She can't think of anyone, but remembers that her friend Lucy thought Ed Brewer had a crush on her. Ed is new in town, and works at the local theater.

Sam thinks the shapeshifter must be Ed. He goes to kill Ed, leaving Dean to protect Jamie. Jamie, by this time, has figured out that Dean and Sam aren't FBI, so Dean tells her about hunting. She says his life must suck, but Dean tells her that he used to think that way until he had a ... near death experience. Now, he knows he's saving people. He says it's a mission from God (nice Blues Brother reference). Jamie asks if he's some kind of monk, and if he's celibate. Dean says he sure hopes not. They kiss.

Lucy interrupts them. She came to get a drink. Jamie invites her to stay, and Dean reluctantly agrees.

The Phantom of the Opera

The movie playing is Phantom of the Opera. Sam hears Toccata en Fugue (music from Phantom of the Opera) playing. He checks his gun to see if its loaded.

Ahead, he can see weird shadows of something playing the organ. Sam draws his gun, and throws Ed against the organ. Ed begs Sam not to hurt him, he wants to know what Sam wants. Sam tells him that he knows what he did. Ed doesn't know. Sam yanks on Ed's ear.

"it's supposed to come off," he says, confused.

"No. It's not," Ed replies, even more confused.


Back at the bar, Jamie begins acting strange. Dean realizes right away that Lucy is the shapeshifter, and attacks her. But the drugs knock him unconscious before he can kill her.

Sam arrives at the bar. Everyone is gone. Sam notices a napkin with a lipstick imprint on it, where Lucy blotted her lipstick while drinking with Dean and Jamie. He had noticed Lucy blotting her lips the first day Dean met Jamie.

"Lucy...." Sam says to himself. He makes the connection to Lucy Westenra, MIna Harker's best friend in the Dracula novel. He realizes Lucy must be the shapeshifter.


The shapeshifter has changed Dean's clothes, putting him in lederhosen. His plan is to electrocute Dean in a manner similar to Frankenstein's monster. Then the monster can get the girl.

Before he can kill Dean, the doorbell rings. The shapeshifter has ordered pizza. The bored delivery guy listens as Dracula asks if there is garlic on the pizza. "Not if you didn't order it," he says. "Listen, I have four other deliveries to make..." Dracula pays, but first, he has a coupon. I truly LOLed at that.


Jamie wakes up. Dracula has a gown for her to put on. She gives him some attitude, and he yells at her just to put the gown on.

Sam finds Dean and releases him. "Come on, Hansel," he says.

"Shut up," Dean retorts.

Dracula monologues to Jamie about how his dad tried to kill him with a shovel, and how everyone called him a monster, until he started to identify with the old movie monsters. He wanted to make his own movie, where the monster got the girl.

Sam and Dean kick down the door, but find that it's fake, like a movie prop. They go looking for Dracula.

Dracula and Jamie hear something. Jamie shouts for Dean, and Dracula knocks her unconscious.

Sam and Dean burst in, but Dracula throws Sam through a wall, causing him to lose his gun. Dracula struggles with Dean, and Dean eyes the gun. Dracula attacks Dean, but is shot by Jamie, who has awakened and found Sam's gun.

The next day, Dean and Jamie kiss and say goodbye. Dean calls it another "Happy ending, with a happy ending, no less."

"Classy," Sam says.

Dean says he wishes life was more like the movies, except he wouldn't make it this "'Abbott and Costello meets the Monsters' crap."

"Yeah, I know what movie you'd pick," Sam says.

"No, you don't," Dean replies.

"Yes, I do."

"No, you don't. You don't."

"Porky's 2," Sam says.

"Lucky guess," Dean replies, and walks away.

Posted by Miller on October 17, 2008 4:31 PM
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