Studio 60 Fodder
Studio 60: The Christmas Show
Yes, at long last, I am finally posting my first Fodder review for Studio 60. It will normally not take this long for me to post. Also, because I've had more time to work on this post, this one is longer than most will be.
What you'll be seeing from me in the future will be a short review/recap from me sometime on the Tuesday after an episode airs followed by a longer, more detailed post like this one during the week before the next episode comes.
As for me, I'm your new humble blogger, Gina. A few things to know about me: I'm a HUGE fan of Aaron Sorkin and his writing, so I tend to be pretty positive about this show (and The West Wing while he was still there, and Sports Night. And A Few Good Men and The American President. Etc., etc., etc.). I'm a music and theatre buff. I do community theatre, which is a very different animal than television, but there are some similarities. So I may say something about backstage shenanigans or semi-technical things from time to time (though not very technical; I've never worked crew). There are a few universals in any sort of acting/performance medium, after all. I'm also into The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, The Colbert Report, The Simpsons, The Kids in the Hall, Lost, Grey's Anatomy, Monty Python, Futurama, The Venture Bros., Robot Chicken, Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law, and Mystery Science Theatre 3000. I occasionally reference these things, so if I say something COMPLETELY random in a recap, it's probably a reference to one of the above shows/groups. I'll try to keep my random non sequiturs to a minimum, though.
All that said, here's my review/recap of "The Christmas Show:"
Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip's holiday episode (Oh, who am I kidding: It's a Christmas episode) was probably the best of the series so far, so it's a real shame that it got the lowest viewer turnout of the season, too. I know NBC said they'd keep the show on for the rest of the season, but we probably ought to give them a reason to keep it there. There are also rumors (from USA Today, of all places) that we won't get our full 22 episodes after all, so again, watch it, watch it, watch it! There's going to be greater emphasis on character development, so it should be getting even better!
Some of my favorite episodes of The West Wing were the holiday episodes (Okay, those were technically Christmas episodes, too, even though they tended to focus on the Jewish members of the staff. Odd), particularly "In Excelsis Deo" and "Noel." I was waiting to see what Aaron Sorkin would come up with for his first Christmas episode of Studio 60. Other than the title (more on titles later), I wasn't disappointed.
The episode opens in the waiting room of the West LA Women's Medical Group with Jordan waiting for a prenatal exam and Danny waiting with her and not being particularly helpful (Sure, like I wasn't dreading amniocentesis already). He confuses her with an Alaskan King Crab, which--take note, men--is always a sure-fire way to make me to fall for a person. Or even refrain from hitting them. Jordan repeatedly wants to know what Danny's doing there. He's the only non-father in the waiting room. But he's cute doing it. The patois here is classic Aaron Sorkin, which makes me extraordinarily happy. I'd even forgive someone confusing me for a large crustacean.
Danny follows Jordan into the exam room, which is useful, but then he declares he gets queasy and hides behind the screen during the actual exam. Which is less useful. Though more useful than tossing around a full set of plastic female reproductive organs, which is what he was doing before the doctor showed up (If this is what he finds fun to do with one of those, Jordan may want to consider running now). Still, from behind the screen, Danny tells the doctor that the father of the baby is not him (well, duh), but the yutz who leaked the results of Danny's failed drug test to Jordan. Make that the ex-yutz (He's probably still a yutz, but he's not Jordan's yutz anymore). It's okay, though, because he's going to pay for everything. The OB/GYN agrees with our collective assessment that the ex is a yutz (well, we don't say "yutz." We already proved last week that Yiddish isn't Danny's best trick). At the end of the scene, Danny comes out from behind the screen and excitedly asks, "We're having a baby?" I fall in love with him. Again. And we smash to credits.
Matt brings what can only be called the Charlie Browniest tree ever into the writers' room.
Despite that, Andy still manages to call Matt "Linus." Well, it was just the TREE that was Charlie Brownie. Matt agrees, as he carries with him the true meaning of Christmas. He wants to know what they've got for this week's show. They sketch ideas sound, I'm sorry to say, lame. This is okay, because Matt declares they're going to do a Christmas show. Wes never did a Christmas show. I can't see how. Even a holiday show? It seems odd to have a total vacuum at the end of the year, but what do I know? Evidently the fact that they live in LA and it's summer out there means the rest of us also don't have winter. Lucy suggests that putting the Charlie Brownie tree on the stage will make it more of a Dickensian scene. Matt wants to know, "How is it I'm Jewish, and I'm the only one with Christmas spirit? Come to think of it, how am I the only Jew in a comedy writers' room?" If you're going to start the show with imponderables....Matt hates LA, too, but he says anywhere else, he's unemployable, so they're doing the darn Christmas show. Andy suggests screwing Christmas, which seems like it would be uncomfortable and unpleasant for everyone involved. Matt makes sure it would be. Darius gets some good shots in, and I love HIM, too.
There is a two-level walk-and-talk wherein Cal tells Matt that there was an earthquake in Fontana, which broke the freeway and--more to the point--collapsed the set dressing warehouses. Matt didn't feel a thing. Well, it WAS only a 4.1 (Sorry. Like LA, Seattle is also on a major fault line. You develop a sense of humor about these things. At least, you do when it's not actively going on).
Cal and Matt wind up in Danny's office. I don't believe I've ever seen Danny's office before, and if I have, I've forgotten about it. It's a nice office. Tell you what, I think I'd rather be here than the big one with the Clock O' Doom, too. I'm not so sure Danny was being gracious when he gave Matt Wes's old office at all!
Matt wants lots of snow for a Christmas episode, and all the snow lives in the set dressing warehouses. Which are still collapsed from two paragraphs ago. But we can make snow. Cal suggests bubbles, which are dismissed as too Don Ho (I would have thought Lawrence Welk, but the point is taken. However, I've seen pretty convincing snow made out of foam. Unless, as it's falling, it collects on a hanging mic, and then it falls in one very large unconvincing clump right on your co-star. So maybe foam is a bad idea after all). Then Cal wants to use Hostess Sno-Balls. And from there, we get to shaved coconut. We then find out that the palm trees in LA are totally neutered and don't grow coconuts, so we'll have to order some in. More on that later, though.
Danny reveals to Cal and Matt that Jordan is With Child. He also says he's going to have the father shove his wallet up his--Mr.-Father-of-the-Year's, that is--ass. Which also seems uncomfortable. But far more satisfying for Danny, in any event. Matt wants to know why Danny was at the doctor's office with Jordan. This seems like another imponderable, like the Jew in the writers' room question. Danny's ability to cover is spectacular, but not in the way I think he was hoping.
Jordan goes up to Jack's office and wants to know how his mood is. Well, he's making up new curse words, which is a clue. I'm reminded of a Kids in the Hall sketch in which Mark McKinney, of all people, plays a pregnant mother, and utters the immortal line, "Don't you know if you swear at a pregnant lady, that the baby will grow up swearing? It happened to me!" S/He goes on to call the father of the baby a name we can't call people on American TV. If Baby McDeere goes on to call people sons of holy bitches, we'll know what went down.
It turns out that NBS had an embed with a unit in Afghanistan who was interviewing a Marine live when a rocket-propelled grenade exploded directly above them, causing the Marine to utter the Queen Mother of All Dirty Words, which, when almost blown up, seems entirely appropriate. Only, of course, it turns out that the FCC doesn't see it that way. Instead, they're offering to fine the network $325,000 per affiliate that aired the report.
Jordan reveals to Jack that she's pregnant, which, given the fairly voluminous outfit she's wearing, was really unnecessary. It takes Jack a minute to figure out what "pregnant" means. He apologizes for yelling, but not potentially making Baby McDeere a congenital cusser.
Jordan wants Jack to fight the fine, calling it a First Amendment issue. Jack says First Amendment doesn't apply to broadcast television. I know in the past they've been able to say the really bad words--even in scripted moments (the ER episode, On the Beach," for one)--when it was a moment of duress. Similarly, of course, back in 2003 it was okay for U2's Bono to use the same word when receiving a Golden Globe, of all things. However, then in 2004, the FCC decided that, no, that was indecent, after all. Still, neither of those are the news. However, more to follow about less believable elements of this episode. Anyway, the upshot of this is that if they fight the fine and the FCC doesn't back down, they'll pull NBS's transponder license, so they can't actually send programs to the affiliates. Which is all right, because the affiliates will also lose THEIR licenses. Still, Jordan tells Jack to "lawyer up," and he congratulates her on the baby. And you can tell that he. really. means it. No, really. You can.
That said, it's really nice to see Jack and Jordan actually talking about something on the network besides Studio 60. I realize that's the name of the show we're watching, but I somehow don't see Jeff Zucker over at NBC spending every day talking mergers and Saturday Night Live. And nothing else.
Matt walks into his office to be assaulted by a towel flipping sand at him. Ah! It's PA-cum-assistant Suzanne! Matt wants her to turn off the summer music and doesn't seem real pleased about the sand in the office. The two of them have a VERY nice relationship that's reminiscent of Josh's with Donna back on The West Wing. She abuses him, he takes it. It's some nice chemistry.
It turns out they've lost their trumpet player for the week, but it's okay, because Cal is going to ride to the rescue with the truckload of coconuts they just bought. Let's take a coconut solo! Oh, no. There's an actual sub for the trumpet player. Good.
Tom announces that there was no Star of Bethlehem, and Simon wants to know why Jesus, who was born in North Africa, looks like one of the Bee-Gees (well, That's forever ruined every religious painting I've ever seen--or ever will see). Clearly Simon needed to audition for Huey Freeman's play, "The Adventures of Black Jesus." 'Course, then he would have lost the lead role to an animated Denzel Washington, but one battle at a time. When Matt says he wants to hear from them about Christmas ideas that "don't shriek of meanness," Simon points out that "your people" stole Jesus from his people. Um, Matt's Jewish. Jesus was Jewish. I think TOM'S the one whose people did the stealing in this room. Despite these huge red flags that perhaps these are not the best people in the building to spread Christmas cheer, Matt sends Tom and Simon to help out in the writer's room. Which gives our boys a chance to show off for Lucy. Tom and Simon leave Matt talking to himself, and now I love all three of THEM, too.
Hey, there was a lot of love in this episode. Mine and everyone else's.
Harriet, meanwhile, is out at lunch with Luke Scott, which seems to trouble Matt. Apparently Harry is going skiing in Idaho with the rest of the female portion of the cast. Idaho? Really? I could say something cheap and smarmy about Idaho's general right-wingedness and how at-home Harriet will feel there, but I'll refrain. Only I think I just did. Oh, well. Also, I guess that means she's forgiven Jeannie for letting Matt spend the night with her. Or Jeannie will find herself locked outside the cabin in the snow.
Luke asks Harriet if she wants to make a movie, and this seems like the WORST possible pick-up line for this woman. Plus, she doesn't seem like the amateur (even when filmed by a professional) porn type. Hearing about Harriet Hays' sex tape in the same breath as Paris Hilton's might make my head explode....
Oh. He's not trying to Make a Movie. He wants to actually make a movie. Luke is an actual big-time movie director and is making a movie. Like, for intentional public release. He's making a film about Brian Jones (of the Rolling Stones), and wants Harriet to play Stones groupie/muse/romantic interest Anita Pallenberg. Sadly, I am not the Stones expert in my family, so I don't know if Harry sounds anything like her, but she does bear a faint physical resemblance to Anita Pallenberg. Though the role would seem to involve more nudityand sex than I would expect Harriet to be comfortable with, but maybe it's okay as long as it's for a role (There is more nudity in this page than some may like, but if you're not offended, check out these pictures from Pallenberg's film Performance, particularly the one of her, Mick Jagger, and Michele Breton in the bathtub 2/3 of the way down. That seems like it might not be Harry's cup o' tea).
Back in the writers' room, Tom and Simon are shamelessly sucking up to Lucy. It's either adorable or painful, depending on your point of view. Simon points out that in the song, "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer," the names of some of the deer are wrong, and instead of "Donner and Blitzen," it should be "Dunder" and something I would spell as "Blixem." However, after doing a little hunting around, it does turn out that the German for thunder IS "Donner." I found "Blitz" for lightning. "Blitzen" would be more than one lightning bolt (I don't speak German, but I do know that to make things plural, you generally add "en"). I'm not actually trying to be totally random here: I learned back in the day that in "The Night Before Christmas," those two deer were named for the German words for thunder and lightning. So I'm actually giving the guy who wrote the song some credit on this one. Sorry, Simon.
Hold on, it turns out that Simon is also right: Originally those two deer had DUTCH names, which would have been Dunder and Blixem. However, as time went on, they gradually evolved to the German I know them as. However, to prove his point, Simon recites that passage in the poem with his names filled in. Well, sure, if I recite it as "Comet and Cupid and Donna Dixon" with enough conviction, I can make that sound right, too.
However, it's the critique of the potential sketches that actually matters here. Tom and Simon swoon over Lucy, and poor Darius gets the shaft. I'm not sure he wanted to date Tom OR Simon, but he's definitely not getting any love here. Cal comes in to make some prototype snow with one of the newly received coconuts, and having, I'm sure, watched too many movies, tries to open the shell by smashing it onto the table. You know how, in the movies, they're always smashing coconuts on very sharp rocks and not cheap office tables? It turns out there's a reason for that. The table collapses impressively. Poor Cal looks appropriately chagrinned, and I fall in love with him, too.
Matt and Danny are watching a past episode of the show. As an aside, Harriet is able to pronounce "Ahmadinejad" better than many professional newscasters I've heard. Matt wonders absently what Jordan's going to do about the upfronts, which causes Danny to wonder seriously what she's going to do about them. If you're the sort of person who reads TV show blogs with any sort of regularity, you probably already know what an upfront is, but on the off chance you don't or you want a refresher, the upfronts are when network execs meet with the press and advertisers to unveil the upcoming season, announce shows' launch dates, introduce casts, and all that other good stuff. They all happen at the same time, so the press and advertisers get all this good promotional material in one fell swoop. That way, by the end of the week, everyone can be really crabby about it. Jordan's baby is due in May, just in time for the upfronts. She can't run NBS's upfronts at a different time, because they all happen together. She can't send someone else to do it. Hey, maybe she'll have the baby at the upfronts to keep the critics' attention. Oh. That was her idea, too. Darn.
As a quasi-random aside, the television critic for the Seattle P-I, Melanie McFarland, has noted that Ming-Na has no poker face when she comes to the upfronts. You can tell how bad her new series will suck just by watching her. I will pay Aaron Sorkin money if he works that into a plot. I'll pay him more if Jordan DOESN'T go into labor at the upfronts. Unless she intentionally plans it as a stunt.
Matt ignores my rambling, declaring he knows Danny's secret and wants him to "say it," which causes Danny to beat on his poor desk (When I was in college, I had a friend who used "rearranging the furniture" as a euphemism for, um, adjusting himself. I just find that idea strangely appropriate right now. Or rather, the idea that Danny is beating up on furniture, real or euphemistic, to deal with his current frustration).
Harriet tries to come to Danny to talk about the movie, but winds up talking to Matt about it instead. He actually wants her to do the movie. He says it's great casting, and besides, he's always been her biggest fan. Awwww.... Have I fallen in love with him this episode? Well, regardless, I fall in love with him here. He then ruins it by saying how great it is that Luke is spending $60 million of Paramount's money to date Harry again. Well, he ruins it for HER. I, actually, find this even more endearing. But you will soon find out that I'm evil like that.
Anyway, to thank him for ruining it for her, Harry punches him. Only it turns out he's been working out. "Doing leg-lifts with Jeannie." Yeah, he actually deserved a punch for that. Probably deserved one from Jeannie, too. Harriet should probably consider investing in some brass knuckles. Between Matt's abs o' steel and the wall outside his office, she's not having real good luck punching things. She decides to talk to Danny, but he's busy being adorable beating his furniture into submission. And although I fell in love with him at the top of the hour, I'm back in love again.
At stately NBS headquarters, Jordan is eating for at least eight. That, or Baby McDeere already has a tapeworm. Man, I hate it when that happens. But Jordan is twirling her spaghetti in a way that would make my Italian grandmommy happy. Danny comes over to talk about the upfronts. When she asks him why he didn't call instead, his cover has not improved. He tells her it's because he's a health nut. It's very gracious of her not to point out that cocaine is not generally part of the Breakfast of Champions. Steroids maybe, but coke? Not so much. On that note, I wanna know when Danny will start drinking Cocaine Energy Drink. I hear it tastes gawdawful, but THAT seems like the sort of product integration that I could get into.
Danny demonstrates a fairly stalkerish knowledge of Jordan's past history. He finally asks her about the upfronts and then stands there awkwardly, not unlike your average 15-year-old who happens to have a receding hairline. She says she'll figure something out (it's a good thing she has 6 months, because I'm not real convinced by her current plan). He finally leaves, and she watches him go (well, he DID just tell her he was in very good shape). I begin to fall in love with her. But then she goes back to eating. Danny comes back into the doorway, stares for a minute, and then turns tail and runs away. I try valiantly to resist falling further in love with him. I am largely unsuccessful, but at least I have a commercial break to pull myself together.
After the commercials, I've calmed down a little, and it's now Wednesday. There is an assembly line of coconut snow production going on. They're using saws to get into the coconuts now. Well, they paid for coconuts, so there was no more money in the budget to buy more tables if they kept smashing them. Cal wants to make pina coladas after the broadcast. Hey, I can go for this.
There's a Santa mannequin on the front of the stage. Because having a mannequin staring at the audience for the entire show won't be at all creepy. Matt points out that Santa is giving a Nazi salute. Oh no, says Cal, he's waving to the reindeer, who are in a different part of the studio. Probably organizing a book burning. No, Santa really seems to be heiling Hitler. Or at least Rudolph. Cal finally calls for someone to get rid of Demented Santa Claus. Okay, I'll admit it: Despite the fact that he was clearly Evil, I actually LIKE Demented Santa Claus. Maybe he'll wind up in the booth with Cal. Or in Matt's office. Or mine!
Suzanne the Assistant is now wearing a Santa hat. She tells Matt it came with a red velvet miniskirt and garters and wants to know if he'd rather she wore that. You know, it's a good thing they work in TV, because I think that sort of an offer is sexual harassment in any other workplace. Not necessarily unwelcome harassment. But if you wanted to get technical, I'm pretty sure it is. It's okay, though, because Matt seems in favor of the outfit.
Meanwhile, Tom and Simon have now brought all the writers over to the Dark Side. It turns out, they've found out, that the shepherds' description in the Book of Luke puts the birth of Christ in spring or fall. I had no idea. They also discovered some things about Santa that I did know (modern-day Santa was designed for a Coca-Cola advertisement). Tom declares the star of Bethlehem was either a comet or Ursa Major (which is a trick, being that Ursa Major is a constellation, not a single star). Also, I'd always heard it was a star that went supernova. But then, I also missed the announcement that we knew for sure what killed the dinosaurs, so I might have missed this, too (those two thoughts aren't as random as they might seem: They both involve major astronomical issues). Worse, Matt discovers that SOMEone has hung socks on his Charlie Brownie tree.
However, unlike in "Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown," the decorations have NOT made it magically look fuller. At all.
Anyway, the socks are Suzanne the Assistant's doing. It's her laundry. I now fall in love with her. If she wears the miniskirt and garters, it'll just seal that deal. Matt actually accepts that from her. And considering that I actually prefer their chemistry together to his chemistry with Harriet, I see some promise here. Then again, it's a Josh/Donna chemistry, which means if they WERE to do anything about this chemistry, it'll be six years before we see it.
At the same time, Jack Webber is meeting with lawyer-types about the FCC issue. It turns out that NPR could air wiretaps of John Gotti uncensored because we all understand that he's a Bad Guy, but soldiers are supposed to be role models (I'm biting my figurative tongue here, but I'll just say that if a person had been watching the news for the last, say, 3 years, that person has seen a soldier or two being terrible role models who didn't even have a good excuse like having been shot at--they're the exception, but the point is, I think by now we know that some soldiers are not necessarily the best role models). I'm assuming the fact that it was NPR didn't hurt, either. Though they do have to conform to FCC rules, too.
Jordan wants to sit in on the meeting, which Jack allows, probably because she swears not to say a thing. He foolishly believes her. I can't imagine why; even I know that's never gonna happen.
While she grazes for breakfast pastry, Jack is told by Lawyer #1 that he doesn't want to have a fight with the FCC because they'll block the Macao merger, among other things (which, if you don't remember, is what the owner of the network, Wilson White, has been REALLY pushing for. It's his dream project). The Feds would also favor their competitors and come down on NBS even harder and look at them closer for shows featuring any discussion of sex, young-person sex, homosexual sex, stranger sex, group scenes....Yeah, I don't know what network they're thinking of, either. Jordan asks if they would send any of those sorts of shows her way. Er, to produce, not to watch. Jack is Not Amused.
Jack DOES have a menorah in his office. But that's beside the point. It's just something I noticed as I rewatched the scene. He also has a wedding ring, so maybe some day we'll meet Mrs. Rudolph.
Lawyer #1 suggests time-delaying the news, which Jordan shouts down because the newscasters won't stand for it (rightly so). He then offers seeing if they can get a reduced fine if they agree to do public service announcements, but Jack rejects that because they shouldn't have to apologize for being shot at. Which is so unreasonable of him.
Back at the studio, Kevin Eubanks is watching the house band jam. Hopefully some of y'alls watch The Tonight Show and were able to recognize him before I did. My inner monologue went something like this: "Geez, I get the feeling they think I should know this guy. He looks familiar..." Eubanks is there to watch the trumpet player, who, of course, is the substitute. Turns out the Tonight Show band's trombonist is also a sub. Who told him to listen to the trumpet player. For a sub, he's quite good. Actually, for anyone, he's good.
Danny, in glasses-on-forehead mode, goes up to the band area to talk to the trumpet player. And offer him a job. Which I'm sure would thrill the regular guy to hear. I'm guessing he wasn't expecting to have his job given away to his sub in his absence.
The sub (both the actor's and, I assume, the character's, names are Troy "Trombone Shorty" Andrews, which is how I'll refer to him. I'm getting tired of saying "the sub") says he can't do that; the guy he's sitting in for is doing him a favor. And despite the fact that Danny says he could probably get a full-time gig at The Tonight Show, he can't do that either. Danny wants to know where Trombone Shorty is from, and he says New Orleans.
If you felt like Trombone Shorty is not the best actor, that's probably because he's an actual working musician. Not necessarily an actor. Just saying.
We switch back to the writers' room. Lucy is now upset that Jesus was born before "The Birth Of Christ." Simon then wants to know (again) why Jesus always looks like Doug Henning. Well, without the bell-bottoms and, surprisingly, with better orthodontia. Now Dylan is in the room (we let him near the writers?) explaining how shepherds don't work in December, and Matt looks pained. Poor Matt. Tom points out that Jesus was born during the reign of Herod the Great, who died in 4 BC. BCE. Take your pick. Anyway, turns out Tom actually knows his Bible a little. And his historians. In addition to his astronomy.
Andy then points out that the Immaculate Conception doesn't refer to Jesus at all, but to his mother, Mary. Now, any good Catholic knows this. Even I, a not particularly good Catholic, know this. Matt's allowed a pass on this one, but I suddenly realize there aren't any Catholic writers in the room. It's really almost as unbelievable that there aren't any Catholics, current or lapsed, in the writers' room as that there aren't any Jews. It's another group that's almost as (stereotypically) over-represented in entertainment as Jews. Anyway, Andy sites his source as virginbirthsdebunked.org. Hoping for some hornymanatee.com action (boy, I really shouldn't be writing THIS from my work computer), I went to check out virginbirthsdebunked.org. And virginbirthdebunked.org. Yes, TWO web sites, because such is my love for you. Virginbirth (singular) tells me that the site is parked for free. However, that's not ACTUALLY the site that Andy cited. So maybe it's good that it's a free domain. Virginbirthsdebunked.org, the ACTUAL name of the site, gives me an Internet Explorer Cannot Display the Web page error. And although I have great love for you all, I don't have so much that I feel like downloading a whole new browser to check this out further. Sorry. My Crack Staff tells me Firefox gets "Cannot Be Found." In any event, regardless, we're not having nearly as much fun with this site as with hornymanatee.com. Darn.
That said, I'm now falling in love with Andy, too.
Matt is rescued from the pain by Danny, and Tom proceeds to explain his astronomy buffness to Lucy. Which isn't really the sort of item I'D use for a pick-up line with someone who hadn't also expressed an interest in astronomy. Simon concurs with my assessment. But more succinctly. I believe the term "loser" is used.
Now in the hallway, Matt opines that the crack writing staff calculated how many reindeer traveling at what speed it would ACTUALLY take to deliver two toys to each kid. I don't know if that's every kid in the world or the US or what. If it's every kid in the world, I'm hoping they took into consideration the fact that there are a lot of children who don't celebrate Christmas. And the Eastern Orthodox children celebrate Christmas on January 7, and apparently Armenians have it on January 19. So that would simplify. Then again, Santa was generally better to me and my siblings than two gifts. Mainly, I KNOW they forgot the obvious fact that Duh, He's MAGIC. Well, we'll talk more about this later. Also, I do hope that they just looked this up online, because that's a lot of work to have done all the math when it is already floating out there in cyberspace.
Danny tells Matt that their usual trumpet player isn't actually sick. It turns out that there are musicians all over town that are calling in sick. There are players in town from New Orleans that are basically homeless and trying to get gigs to send Christmas gifts home, so the regular musicians are letting them play their usual gigs so they can get union cards and some money. Matt wants to pay his regular guy, too. Which certainly beats him losing his job to Trombone Shorty. Danny, however, would like to have a sketch cut. Which is no problem: Matt can cut Immaculate My Ass: HBO's Ho Ho Ho's and Hookers at the Pole. Robot Chicken did the Ho Ho Ho's joke. I'm sure they weren't the first, either. Nonetheless, it gets a laugh from me in both contexts. Anyway, Danny's thinking of needing four minutes in the middle of the show.
Matt wants to know if Danny's talked to Jordan lately. No, not so much. Oh, sure, he's driven past her house a couple times. On the way to work. Only her house is only "on the way" if he's coming from Tijuana. If he weren't so cute and sweet (and cute), this would be creepy.
Oh, and Matt and Danny both already know where Jordan's house is? I realize I've never worked in Television, but none of my bosses have told me where they lived. This may be a reflection on me, I suppose. But I'd think she'd go out of her way for them not to know. Especially the recovering drug addict. But really, anyone whose show she might potentially cancel. Oh, and for a recovering drug addict, Danny is really very bad at being sly. Maybe he only has sneaky mojo when he's high. Matt smiles knowingly at Danny as he walks off, which really brings into focus what terrific chemistry these two have together, and how much MORE they have than the chemistry with their potential paramours. The Matt/Harriet chemistry is getting BETTER, and Danny's chemistry with his girl is not bad. But Matt and Danny click together SO well.
Next thing ya know, the show is about to start. Wilson White is with a woman I assume is Mrs. White telling Jordan how the last time he was in that theatre, he was listening to Caruso sing "Vesti La Giuba" from Pagliacci. Not sure if I'm more impressed that he identified the aria and opera correctly or that he pronounced them right. Jordan takes him at his word, which means she either doesn't know when Caruso died, she thinks White is much older than he is, and/or she deserves MY gullible crown. She's welcome to it. Jordan admits she can't stop eating. Really? We hadn't noticed.
Luke Scott is back, this time to see Harriet backstage with a nice bouquet before the show. All together now: Awwwww. He finds her and Simon practicing the news while she finishes dressing. How I love backstage. You can find people dressing far from the dressing room. True, she's just adjusting her stockings, but still....
Sadly, the news is still pretty lame. Simon reads a headline about how often men think about sex, and goes REALLY far for a punchline when there were some much easier, much funnier ones. Here's mine: "In a related story, researchers fo....[Homer Simpson drooling sound], Mmmm, breasts." And that's not that good. But it's still better than the scripted joke. Admittedly, I'm spoiled from watching The Daily Show and the Colbert Report, but when there ARE shows like that on the air, the news segment should either be sharper or done away with altogether. The sketch segments are the weakest part of this otherwise excellent program. They're getting better, but when the rest of the script is so good, it's a shame for this to be so deficient by comparison.
Luke watches the run-through a little bit. Or the stocking adjustment. Whichever. He's smiling, though. He laughs at Simon's joke, which attracts Harriet's attention. Maybe she knew the laugh was disproportionate to the joke, too. Still, she lights up like (coincidentally enough) a Christmas tree when she sees him. He says not to let him stop them, but they stop anyway. Simon hugs Luke, because it's always good to suck up to the Big Director.
Luke says he's sitting in the front row so he can heckle Danny. How thoughtful of him. He gives Harry the flowers, and then wonders if everyone (specifically Matt) is happy for her. Harry says that Matt thinks Luke is trying to date her again, and Luke says he is. Oh. Well, that settles that, I guess. But that isn't why he cast her, thank goodness. Not that that probably helps her acting ego. He wants to know if that made her uncomfortable, and her lips say no, but...I say yeah.
There are Christmas tree lights all over the studio, very festive.
The show starts with its cold open: "Dateline: To Catch a Predator" pops in on Santa Claus. Mark this down: This officially represents the first (and only time) I've wished I watched Dateline. I've heard, though I can't verify, that Nate Corddry's impression of Chris Hansen is pretty spot-on. He's pretty funny, even if I don't know how accurate he is. I fall in love with Tom again. Poor Dylan isn't getting any love from me in this scene, either, but I think he'll deal. Hope so.
Danny calls up to the booth to ask where the snow is (well, the sketch is taking place inside the house, and the windows aren't that big. I imagine cast and crew are the only ones who've noticed. Though I certainly noticed how it looks like it's noon outside those windows. Huh). Turns out the lights cooked it, and they're currently working on making more. Though I feel certain most of the guys making snow on Wednesday have other things to do during filming, so not sure how many people are actually working on the snow itself....
Next we're getting ready for News 60. Matt wants to give Harriet a note from dress rehearsal, so he takes her back behind the set and kisses her brains out. 
Is it hard to breathe in here? Oh no, it's just Harriet. He then ACTUALLY gives her a note. Sure, 'cause she looks like she's liable to remember, I don't know, ANYTHING right now. However, it's about grabbing a glass, so hopefully the world won't end if she biffs it.
Matt says "hey" to Luke, which is a nice thing to do when you've just snogged his hopeful girlfriend silly.
Harry actually makes it onto the set in time for the sketch to begin, but she does manage to introduce herself as Matt. Um, D'oh. Well, the audience knows who she is, I guess.
Jack comes up to talk to Wilson White. The whole world has come to Studio 60, apparently. Then again, it's the first Christmas show in...ever, so maybe it's a big deal. Jack's about the most disheveled we've ever seen him. Wilson points out that it's the first time he's seen Jack without a necktie. Also, his eyes look really bad (Wilson doesn't say that; that's just my observation). So either I've never noticed that Stephen Webber's eyes are really deep-set in his face, or Makeup did a heckuva job on him. Wilson wants Jack to hang out with the grandkids, but Jack actually wants to talk. Silly man. Anyway, he tells Wilson what happened with the newscast (Wilson heard all about it. Well, you would HOPE the network owner would hear when several thousand/million dollars were on the line). Actually, one of those little cool things is how they've made it perfectly clear what dirty word was said without ever saying it and without resorting to calling it The Queen Mother Of All Dirty Words, The Big One, The F-Dash-Dash-Dash Word. Hey, I can do it, but this is a blog. If Aaron Sorkin rips off Jean Shepherd,imagine he has to say so, which would get pretty unwieldy pretty fast.
Jack tells Wilson he waited to say anything until he talked to the (ever-so-helpful) lawyers. He's been playing out every ever-so-helpful suggestion from the ever-so-helpful lawyers, and he has to resign. If they fight the FCC, the Macao deal may get stopped, and that's Wilson's baby. He's been waiting on it forever, and Jack can't make him lose it, but he also can't sit by and "be a party to the line that's going to be crossed."
Wilson White gives a speech of the sort that would make Jed Bartlet proud. Or Isaac Jaffe, for that matter. But mostly POTUS. Basically, he turns out to have principles, and he refuses to cross that line either. He also says the FCC can kiss his Wilson-White butt (Though sadly he doesn't put it in those terms. He's far more dignified than I am. That's why I don't own a television network and international conglomerates. Well, that, and the total lack of money).
Wilson's principles seem to pleasantly surprise Jack. He (Wilson, not Jack) also uses the term "rejigger," which is something I say. And I'm PRETTY sure I said it before the episode aired. I think. He says, echoing Jack's words, that "This is the one I've been waiting for my whole life." I don't know if that refers to the FCC fight, the Macao deal, or Jack (I'm pretty sure it's Jack, but I wouldn't put money on it), but either way, it's a really great sentiment. So Jack agrees to meet the adorable mini-Whites.
Back at the actual show, there are musicians on stage. Danny exchanges a knowing look with Trombone Shorty (who is one of the musicians). One thing I like about Tommy Schlamme (one of many): He can get more said with a look than many directors get out of pages of dialogue.
The show, Studio 60, comes back from break, and Simon introduces The City Of New Orleans. The band then plays an absolutely beautiful and moving arrangement of O Holy Night, starting with Trombone Shorty playing a solo. In the background are some really nice black-and-white photos of post-Katrina New Orleans in a slideshow behind the band. My main beef with this part of the show is that I wish we could have seen more of the photos. The band was the focus, as it should have been, but the photos were small (especially on my tiny TV), and at one point they ran a camera crane though the band AND the photos, and I wish I could have gotten a better sense of what was going on in the pictures. And I knew they were taping the show, so I didn't really NEED the establishing shots of the studio and audience. Regardless, the pictures and the band together were really, really nice. You can still get a recording of the piece (sans dialogue) at NBC.com.
The members of the band were organized in real life by the Tipitina's Foundation. The foundation is dedicated to reviving the music culture of New Orleans. For the one-year anniversary of Hurricane Katrina, they delivered over $500,000 worth of instruments to local schools. Another associated group gives money to the foundation for special guitars purchased. At this point, the foundation seems to be doing most for school music programs (and as a person who was trained in music education, I wholeheartedly support this), but their initial purpose was to help the displaced musicians of New Orleans put their lives back together-not unlike the musicians appearing on the SHOW, Studio 60. They've also helped professional musicians get replacement instruments (hard to land a gig without one), and help them conduct the business aspects of being a professional musician. It's a terrific charity, and although Christmas is over, it certainly is worthy of our donations, particularly when you consider how integral music is to what we think of when we think of New Orleans.
There, that's my public service announcement. Now, back to Studio 60. We get to see the cast of the show (and Suzanne the Assistant) enjoying the performance. All this movingness causes Danny to realize that he has something more important to do than produce the show. I mean, I suppose the segment where the band is playing produces itself, but even so....
Harriet and Matt also exchange a Knowing Look and sweet smile. Awwwww....
Danny appears in the room where Wilson White, Mrs. White, the mini-Whites, probably Jack, though he doesn't make it in the shot, and Jordan stuffing her face are watching the show. On a monitor. I realize they're rich and can afford the private booth/box, but isn't the point of coming to the studio to see the show to watch the stuff that you CAN'T see when you watch on television? But what do I know, after all? Danny needs to speak to Jordan in private.
I'm just going to quote what he says here: "I've been married twice before, and I'm a recovering cocaine addict, and I know that's no woman's dream of a man or of a father. Nonetheless, I believe I'm falling in love with you. If you want to run, I understand, but you better get a good head start, because I'm coming for you, Jordan." This, like the driving past her house, could come off pretty stalkerish, but given my vast love for both Danny Tripp AND Bradley Whitford, I have decided to find it charming instead.
Jordan, meanwhile, is staring up at him with her mouth open and chipmunk cheeks due to the huge bite of sandwich she took before she followed Danny into the hallway. It shouldn't be possible, but the chipmunk cheeks totally show off how pretty her eyes are. I think I'll fall in love with her some more now.
As he turns to go, Danny tells Jordan she should go ahead and chew her sandwich. She watches him go, but she does start masticating finally, so she can apparently take direction. I'm not positive, but she MAY be watching his bum as he goes.
We go back to the studio, and one of the photos I really wanted to see more of was a sign (possibly on a bass drum) reading "All I want for Christmas is my city back." See, that's particularly what I wanted to see more of. For ME, that was the most moving image of the segment. It may not have affected you all that way, but it really hit me.
Danny appears next to Matt again, and despite the shots of the band, it was still fast enough that he must have taken a matter transporter to get there. Matt wants to know where Danny went, and the answer is, "I went to a place called 'Say it,' 'say it,' 'say it'" while doing a fairly Chandler-esque impression. "I said it," he smiles. My heart finishes going all melty.
Matt tells Danny he was right; they do live here now, so hopefully we all remember that line from the pilot. Danny wishes Matt a Merry Christmas, and Matt returns the sentiment. This whole tremendously sweet exchange further cements the fact that these two have far in a way the best chemistry on this program.
Coconut snow starts falling on stage (As an aside, I hated getting RAIN out of my sousaphone in college. Semi-cooked shaved coconut must be a pain to get out of there. So, more power to the sousaphone player!). It's very pretty. The show ends with the band getting a well-deserved standing ovation as the song ends. I THINK the last photo behind them is a snow- or ice-covered street. It's a nice picture to end with, regardless.
Fade to black, only there is snow falling on the producers' credits. Pretty!
There is also a screen inviting you to go to www.tipitinasfoundation.org. Seems like a good idea.
First, my general opinion of this episode: I loved it. Now, I've admitted that I've had a total pro-Sorkin pro-Whitford pro-Studio 60 bias. But this was, in my opinion, a far better episode than all the previous with the possible exception of the pilot. I think the main improvement is that Aaron Sorkin has remembered that what he really does well is character-driven action. He spent most of this episode (aside from the FCC story) focusing primarily on the people who work at the show and the network, not on the issues. The West Wing wasn't interesting because we learned how bills became laws-we got that from Schoolhouse Rock. It was interesting because we saw how people we cared about made it happen. And that's what was terrific about The Christmas Show. We got to see people making a TV show, not just a TV show being made. My understanding is that in the future we'll be focusing more on the romance. Which isn't necessarily what was great about this episode (though, of course, I adored Danny chasing Jordan, but see above about my pro-Whitford bias), but the focus on the characters rather than on Harriet saying something to alienate more blue-staters is definitely a good thing.
Now, on to the things I said I'd talk about later (It's finally later!): The title. I loved the titles of Sports Night and West Wing episodes. Some of them were really awesome, some were a little arcane, but that was fun. I think he's doing a theme thing, the way all Scrubs titles are "My (blank)" and all Seinfeld titles were "The (blank)." Except for "Nevada Day," these have all been "The (blank)." If all were industry-specific names, I could see it. "The Cold Open" is a good title. And they explained what that was in the course of the episode. Ditto "The Focus Group" and "The Option Period." But "The Christmas Show" is just sort of....Lame. I don't know what title would be better. "The Pretend We Aren't All Godless Heathens Show" works. Unless it's too on-the-nose. But it does, in my opinion, have more punch than "The Christmas Show." Snore.
The coconuts/snow: I realize the set dressing warehouses collapsed in an earthquake. However, I also have a hard time believing that it wouldn't have been easier, cheaper, and faster to buy fake snow somewhere. There are all sorts of theatre and television suppliers who could have set them up that weren't destroyed in the quake. I don't know how the prices would compare to truckloads of coconuts, but there are lots of ways to get snow that wouldn't have cooked under the hot lights. However, here's the thing: When my nephew was younger, he had this habit of asking us why certain inexplicable things happened in movies. How could you figure out how to fly an alien ship in a few hours when your only prior experience is fighter jets? And how the heck did the aliens cause so much trouble on a planet whose atmosphere is largely water, when water is what seems to kill them? My brother's answer invariably was "Because otherwise, Daniel, there wouldn't be a movie." The same is true of the coconuts. It's silly, but it's also fun. And besides, otherwise, there wouldn't have been a "C" storyline. The same is true of the goings-on in the writers' room. This is unlikely to have been happening, and certainly not until Wednesday, but it's fun.
The FCC: I was all ready to say how I thought that the FCC storyline was a little silly, that the FCC isn't this dumb. And a few years ago, I would have been right. It really seems like it should be excusable. It was live, it was the news, and it was a moment of extreme duress. However, in June, the FCC raised its fines 10 times PER INCIDENT (basically, the numbers that were quoted in the episode were absolutely not exaggerated, which is scary in and of itself). And the fines apply to taped and live programming. So as stupid as it sounds, this actually could have happened. It's so bad the CBS wouldn't air a documentary on 9/11 because there are firemen--gasp--cussing in it. IN A DOCUMENTARY. Admittedly, it wasn't live, but I can't imagine that a lot of people in New York and DC DIDN'T swear then. Oh, and did I mention that it was a flipping DOCUMENTARY? And this is all because of hundreds of thousands of complaints from a single organization, the American Family Association, no doubt the model for the briefly mentioned "Foundation for Friendly Families." Three of the four major networks apparently started fighting this in court in December, but in the meantime, this is getting silly. And disturbing. If anything, Aaron Sorkin undersold the gravity of the situation. This is actually an issue-based storyline that I'd like to see followed. Way better than "Harriet's A Homophobe." She is, but we got it after the third week. This is something that's interesting and relevant. I don't know that it will actually GET followed, but I could be interested in this.
Danny's courtship of Jordan: It's a little rushed. There have, in fact, been hints since no LATER than the Nevada Day episodes that Danny was falling for her. However, he seriously went for the gusto in this episode in a way that would be creepy if it weren't Bradley Whitford doing it. Now, we have yet to see how Jordan is going to answer this. But again, the indication has been that she won't be getting a restraining order, at any rate. I don't know if things were rushed, either in real life or within the universe of the program, due to Jordan's/Amanda Peet's pregnancy. We've known for a while that Amanda is pregnant. However, realizing Jordan is pregnant could have caused Danny to realize his True Feelings (Although stereotypically, most guys' True Feelings upon discovering that the girl is knocked up run along the lines of "Run Away!"). Or, Aaron suddenly realized that he should pair these two up. In any event, it seems a little unlikely that Danny would go after his boss, particularly in the manner he does it.
But otherwise, Daniel, there wouldn't be a TV show.
Tags: "the_christmas_show"; studio_60; tipitinas; luke_scott; romance; coconut; snow; trombone_shorty;
Posted by gina on January 23, 2007 01:00 AM
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Gina, would you like me to send you some free samples of the Cocaine Energy Drink?
I do not think it is "gawd awful" :)
Jamey Kirby
-- Posted by: Jamey Kirby at January 24, 2007 12:18 AMSenior Partner/Founder
Redux Beverages LLC
www.drinkcocaine.com