Studio 60 Fodder

Studio 60: Monday, Part 1

This is your first mini-recap. This is pretty bare bones. The funny will come later.

I have no idea to which Monday this title refers. I had to watch the beginning again to realize it was the title, and not just a statement of the day. I should have realized this from the fact that Danny is calling from the wrap party after Friday night's taping, but apparently I didn't until just now.

From the "Previously On Studio 60" teaser, we find out that they're going to keep focusing on the issue raised at Christmas as far as the FCC fine levied against NBS for airing a live newscast in which a Marine very reasonably cussed while being shot at. If you read my super-long recap on "The Christmas Episode," you know that I am pleased as punch to see that. It's an issue of actual importance and isn't a conservative vs. liberal or Hollywood vs. Middle America matter. Whew!

Once the new material starts up, Jordan gets a call waking her up in the middle of the night; it's Danny. He's wondering why she isn't at the wrap party for the Christmas show. She was tired, and besides, she had to pack. She's going to her parents' for Christmas and then to St. Lucia.

She then gets a call from him inviting her to Christmas Eve Mass so she won't be alone Christmas Eve. Midnight Mass is PRETTY, but not really romantic. Especially since it's always really crowded. I mean, the lights and garlands are nice, but the crowds are crazy. And I don't know that either of them are Catholic. Or Episcopal. Someone who has Mass. Oh, well. At least it isn't Easter Mass. Also nice, but you get to watch everyone be baptized. Takes 6 years. Anyway, this is all moot, because Jordan is still at her parents' house. Danny forgot. Or "forgot." One way or the other. He's calling her from a movie theatre.

Next, Danny calls her in St. Lucia while she's getting a manicure and pedicure (She had to go to the Virgin Islands for that?). He's calling her from the studio with a new phone number. He swears he's not at the studio, but his cover is blown by Matt screaming that he's leaving from his office. Jordan doesn't like him being at the theatre all alone on the holidays.

He calls her on New Year's while watching the fireworks on TV. She sends the call straight to voice mail. He wants to know if there's anything about the New Year he should be looking for, since she's been in 2007 for three hours longer than he has (He called her at 3 a.m.? That's thoughtful). While listening to the message, she pages through a script and finds a crinkled photo of the two of them raising a toast.

Finally, he's back at the office and goes to call Jordan one last time. However, Cal calls a meeting, so he leaves, mumbling, "At least I'm back on television."

Jordan is back in her office and meets with Hallie Galloway, Head of Alternative Programming, which translates to "reality TV" for the rest of us. Hallie points out that Ed Sullivan was reality TV. Jordan wants Elvis and the Beatles. Jordan didn't want there to BE a head of alternative programming. Hallie wonders if Jordan doesn't like her. Jordan calls her position "Head of Illiterate Programming," which answers that question. She also wonders if her new position is punishment for passing on Search and Destroy, the series she refused to bid on in favor of Nations. Jordan says no, she just didn't want to make more trouble for Jack Rudolph right now.

In the writers' room, Matt is reading the 48 Laws of Power, which sounds like a pocket guide to being a head of a crime organization. Simon pulls Darius out of the room. He wants to work on a character/sketch featuring a new black militant fruit added to the Fruit of the Loom guys. Darius says it sounds great and that he'll tell Matt he wants to work on it, and then gives the sketch to Lucy as soon as Simon is gone.

Suzanne The Assistant comes in with scripts for Matt to sign for a charity auction for Women United Through Faith. That's the organization that Harriet was going to tour with before they canceled her because she wasn't homophobic enough for them. Matt refuses to sign them BECAUSE it's for Women United Through Faith. It turns out Harry is hiding just outside the room and yells at Matt about his lousy attitude before announcing that scripts will sell for the same amount without his signature. Neener neener.

Suzanne The Assistant then finds out that Harriet is auctioning off a date with her to an awards ceremony for Catholics in Media (she's Baptist, but apparently the Catholics like her anyway. Maybe she went to Midnight Mass). He figures out that Luke Scott has already bid on the date. Matt wants to bid on her, but only a dollar more than Luke. He doesn't want to give any more money to a teen abstinence program (what Women United is raising money for) than necessary. The user name Suzanne picks for Matt to bid with is boss_sexy. I agree!

Jack and Wilson White are meeting with the board of directors of NBS' parent company over the FCC issues. He and Wilson both say they won't pay or take any of the deals suggested by the lawyers, which the board wants. They're worried that the Macao deal will fall through. Jack points out that you can't mess with the news during wartime. He then calls the head of the board a moron, with which Wilson concurs. They call a vote of confidence. There is a serious vote of No Confidence against Wilson, which would ordinarily mean he's out of a job and the board can start to negotiate with the FCC.

After the vote, Jack and Wilson are alone in the conference room. Jack wants to know what to do next, and Wilson has no plan. There were 13 may votes, and Wilson says it's all because of Macao. Jack wants to get Zhang Tao (the business man on the Macao end of that business deal) to threaten to give the deal to Time-Warner if NBS gives in to the FCC. And what luck, the Juilliard Symphony is going to be playing a concert at UCLA, and since Zhang Tao's daughter is in that symphony, guess where he's going to be? So Jack is on his way to UCLA to deal.

Lucy comes down to work with Simon on his Fruit of the Loom sketch, which surprises Simon.

Tom convinces Harriet to show Matt a new character, Dolphin Girl. The voice she uses is scary. However, the character has potential. Matt and Harriet have much more chemistry when they're sniping at each other. It's sort of that Sam and Diane from Cheers vibe. It's much better than the quasi-shmoopy vibe. Tom also wants Matt's permission to date Lucy, which Matt gives with a warning not to hurt the poor girl.

As long as he's bidding (now $1201) on Harriet for the abstinence charity, Matt wants to find a charity that does the exact opposite to give the exact same amount to. It's LA; it shouldn't be that hard to find.

Hallie is back in Jordan's office. She gives Jordan some folic acid as a gesture. She says that Jordan keeps everyone in "suspended terror" and cultivates "an air of unpredictability." Which isn't what Jordan was going for. Hallie pitches All You Need is Love. It's about people apologizing and healing. She specifically mentions a defrocked priest meeting with his victims. Gosh, I can't see anyone having a problem with THAT episode. Basically, the show sounds horrible.

After declaring that she also thinks the show sounds horrible, Jordan gets a call from Jack (she can only talk on speaker phone). She tells him that the Dracula movie they were shooting for May sweeps had to shut down forever because the production company ran out of money and the crew ran off with the equipment. Jack suggests using Hallie's All You Need Is Love show in its place, which reveals that she went over Jordan's head to pitch the idea to Jack. Which is way out of the chain of command. Hallie makes a really ugly comment that there's another pretty girl at the dance anymore, and Hallie isn't pregnant. She's sort of a world-class bow-wow, as a friend of mine would say. Jordan does ask for a formal proposal from Hallie and then tells her to get out of her office.

Jordan and Harriet are having lunch at the studio and talking about the meeting with Hallie. Jordan realizes that maybe SHE'S the bee-yotch, since she basically put Hallie down from minute one.

Matt comes to Danny for a recommendation to for his nephew to Northwestern University, where Danny went. Danny reveals that he was a grade-A geek in high school (It's okay, that statement comes from a woman who was a grade-A geek in high school AND college). He may still be a geek: He realizes that he should get letters of recommendation of his own from famous people (and his doctor, dentist, the interns, and his mommy) to send to Jordan so she'll go out with him.

Suzanne The Assistant found an organization that supports the national polyamorous movement (there IS a national polyamorous movement?), which is who will get Matt's matching donation if he wins his date with Harriet.

Lucy is working with Simon on the Fruit of the Loom sketch, but it turns out that she has absolutely no street cred. At all. Which really isn't a surprise.

Simon calls out Darius, pissed because he gave the sketch to Lucy. Who still has no street cred. Simon says Darius gave it away because he didn't want to be The Black Guy. Simon mutters that he "saved" Darius who was "two hits in the head from being nothing." I learn that Simon is not someone I want to piss off.

Tom awkwardly flirts with Lucy, which is adorable in its ineptness. He finally asks her out on Thursday, the night of Harriet's award ceremony (though he doesn't ask her TO the ceremony). She agrees (after asking "Really" three times), and then laughs adorably when he goes.

Jack is at UCLA at the Juilliard dress rehearsal, practicing his Chinese in the lobby through the rehearsal and then through the concert. After the concert, he catches up with Zhang Tao. Luckily, the woman with Zhang Tao (I assume she is his wife) translates. I don't know why the international businessman is the only one in his family who doesn't speak English, but otherwise, Daniel, there wouldn't be a scene. Jack explains the situation to Zhang Tao. Zhang Tao was in the Army and understands the situation. Jack asks him a favor, man-to-man (a phrase Zhang Tao knows). He tells Zhang Tao, "I need you to dump us."

Jordan goes to apologize to Hallie, who is working out on a treadmill with heavy hands, her iPod, and no shirt. Brandi Chastain she ain't. Jordan apologizes and tells Hallie that Sales and Marketing both love the awful show, so they should forge ahead with it. She also says that Hallie had a good first day. Even with Jordan coming down on her.

At UCLA, Zhang Tao explains that because he said he would give the deal to NBS' parent company, he is honor-bound to do it. Jack says it's this very sense of honor to which he and Wilson White are appealing. Kim (the daughter who was smitten with Tom Jeter--I don't blame her at all) comes out to meet her parents, and right away starts fighting with her dad because she wants to give up the viola and go into improvisational comedy. She wants to meet with Tom to get some pointers on the business. Jack says he will set up a meeting with Tom if she'll fix his problem with Zhang Tao. Jack will have Tom take Kim to Harry's awards ceremony. Which is the same night as Tom's date with Lucy. Jack tells Zhang Tao that he'll have his daughter back, which stops Kim, but seems to make Zhang Tao and his wife both pretty pleased.

Matt points out to Harry that kids who are taught abstinence tend to have more unsafe sex because they never learn about safe sex practices. In spite of this, she invites him to the awards ceremony that he's been bidding on. I don't know if that means she wants two dates for the event, or how that's going to work. However, he declines. Apparently he'd rather give a ton of money to opposite charities. He also wants her to go on dates with Luke that aren't attended by everyone he knows (Though I'm sure he'd rather she just not go on dates with Luke). Harriet points out that this is a big difference from the Big Smooch backstage, after which he acted like nothing happened, and suggests that he pick a gear and go with it. Matt now needs to get his allowance from his folks for these charities because the bids are up to $4001.

Simon comes by, and Matt asks if something is going on between him and Darius. Simon says it's nothing to worry about.

Lucy and Tom both come by separately but simultaneously to ask to leave work early on Thursday for their date. Matt points out that that's the first time he's seen Tom smile. It's a nice smile. Suzanne The Assistant tells Tom that Jack has called him and that he's not to leave the studio. She then needs to make sure she didn't get that wrong, because why would Jack need TOM, and not Matt (Poor dissed Tom).

Jordan comes by the studio. She got Matt's letter of recommendation along with the Third Earl of Kent, Scorsese, Lauren Bacall, and a bunch of other people. Matt asks Jordan about the 48 Laws of Power. One of the laws says to keep people in "suspended terror and cultivate an air of unpredictability," which gives her pause, since that's what Hallie said Jordan was doing.

Jordan, however, has actually come to see Danny. She says the letters of recommendation were an embarrassment to her and made her look silly at the worst possible time. She tells him he has to stop. He asked her out three times and each time she turned him down (although she was out of town for some of those dates). She asks him to stop, and he says no, leaving her dumbstruck and alone in the studio.

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Posted by on January 23, 2007 11:44 PM
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