Some of Mine -

Kevin "Lucius Vorenus" McKidd - in a new NBC Series, "Journeymen", airing on Mondays.

Ray "Titus Pullo" Stevenson as a barely recognizable philandering business man saved from a serial killing man hater on an episode of "MI-5" (BBC-America).

Ciarin "Julius Caesar" Hinds in a promo for an upcoming new BBC series, the name of which I didn't catch on BBC-America.

Update 9/28/2007

Polly (Atia of the Julii ) Walker playing Ellis Samuels, a member of the evil Samuels family, rivals of the Duque good-guys, and seducer of Lost's Nestor Carbonell (Frank Duque) on new CBS series "Cane". Motto: "Sugar is the New Oil" (I don't think so.)

Update 2/12/2008

Indira (Niobe) Varma playing Therese Wanz, french woman saloon owner in the nascent Lonesome Dove settlement in pre-statehood Texas in the multi-part TV dramatization of Larry McMurtry's "Comanche Moon".

Update 8/26/2008

Indira (Niobe) Varma playing a seemingly Benazir Bhutto-like foreigh leader who's in danger of assassination on "Assassination", an episode of Law and Order, Criminal Intent.

Update 9/7/2008

Indira (Niobe) Varma playing a Brit on an episode (didn't catch the title) of CSI set in London - seems the American experts were on loan to Scotland Yard

Update 9/25/2009

Kevin "Lucius Vorenus" McKidd - in the movie, "The Last Legion",(2007) Kevin is not a legionairre, however.

Update 9/30/2009

Ciarin "Julius Caesar" Hinds as Francis McDormand's love interest and a "gentleman selling lingerie" in the movie "Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day."

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Opening scene.

A small boat. Mark Antony and Lucius Vorenus are escaping the loss of the battle of Actium in a small boat rowed by perhaps ten men. We see burning ships on the horizon as the boat tosses in the open ocean. Some fighting is still going on, as we see fireballs tossed by catapult stream through the air. The boat is heavily laden, gunwales barely above water. Vorenus edges down the narrow catwalk between the rowers, and has a dead rower cast over the side. Making his way to the bow, he offers a disconsolate, brooding Antony a drink of water. Antony is dressed in Roman, not Egyptian battle gear. As the sun sinks below the horizon, Antony philosophizes that “All my life I’ve been fearful of defeat, but now that is has come, it’s not near as terrible as I’d expected. The sun still shines, water still tastes good. Glory is all well and good, but life is enough, ney?” Ask the guy that just got tossed overboard, or the ones on the burning ships.

The Forum square. The town crier dude announces “Glorious news. At Actium, in Greece, the navy of our Imperator, Octavian Caesar, under the command of Marcus, Vipsanius Agrippa, has won a decisive victory over Queen Cleopatra, and her slave, Marc Antony. The Egyptian fleet has been destroyed. (Great hand gesture, and cheers from the crowd) Even now, Octavian Caesar advances on Alexandria, where the witch and her creature take refuge.” Lyde and Vorena the elder, dressed in white temple robes, listen without enthusiasm, and with worried looks on their faces. Lyde covers Vorena’s shoulder with her arm and they turn and go before the announcement finishes.

Livia’s quarters. In an intimate, girls-only dinner party, Livia lectures on Octavian’s victory. She says Antony’s leaving the battle before it was over is either a sign of his slavish devotion to Cleopatra, or cowardice. Octavia defends her husband, saying it was doubtless to protect the gold stored on Cleopatra’s barge, in order to fight on later. “Not what my husband says”, sniffs Livia. “Your husband’s a liar,” Octavia comes back. In the background, a depressed Atia wonders where she went wrong with her son.

Octavian’s camp near Alexandria. Octavian listens as a Roman messenger presents Antony and Cleopatra’s terms for surrendering themselves. Which are basically that nothing changes except Antony will ‘withdraw from public life and not meddle in politics’. Octavian sends back that no terms are acceptable except unconditional surrender without conditions. Octavian tells the messenger to speak to Lucius Vorenus alone. Octavian asks Pullo if he thinks Vorenus will open the palace to them in return for a guarantee of safety and asks for a private word that will tell Vorenus that Pullo is here. Pullo says they don’t know Vorenus if they think he will betray Antony, but proposes a message for Vorenus: “Tell him that his children are well and that I hope my child is well, also.” “Private joke,” he says to the puzzled looks around him.

Antony and Cleopatra’s palace in Alexandria. A chair is lowered from the palace walls to get the messenger past the barred gates. Inside, faced with defeat, what better way to spend the time than an orgy? Eek! I think I saw that bald prostitute from last week. Or maybe not, shaved heads seem a common response to the Egyptian heat. Bodies writhe all over the throne room, as the emissary has to step delicately between the coupling couples. Are those cymbals I hear? At last he presents himself to Antony and Cleopatra and presents Octavian’s answer. It’s “No.” Antony’s anger is rising, but Cleopatra coolly says “Calm” and Antony collects himself, briefly. But his voice rises to a shout as he tells the emissary to “Go and tell that FROG SPAWNED HOMUNCULUS THAT I…” “Calm.” Cleopatra tells Vorenus to find the emissary a drink.

Antony and Cleopatra discuss their options. Cleopatra proposes ‘escaping by night and going south.’ Antony says “And hide under bushes like hunted animals?” Cleopatra says she will be guided by Antony. Antony raises the option of suicide. “Look around us”, Antony says, “whores, hermaphrodites, and lickspittles.” Antony is morose, and a tear trickles down his cheek as he says death is their only option, all they have left.

The emissary delivers Pullo’s private message to Vorenus, and says that Titus Pullo is indeed here and will answer for Vorenus’s safety if he should find a way to open the gates. Vorenus replies that Titus Pullo’s child is indeed well, but “He has forgotten who I am.” The emissary, like any good salesman, asks Vorenus to think on it for a while, but before he can continue Antony calls him back.

Antony gives the emissary a counter-proposal. He challenges Octavian to single combat. “Just as our ancestors did.” Cleopatra tries to intervene, but Antony says “How can he refuse?” which indicates he still doesn’t understand Octavian very well. The emissary bows and departs. Antony orders Vorenus to “Fetch some weapons” for practice. Cleopatra looks troubled.

As Vorenus leaves, Caesarion stops him and says “Octavian’s going to kill me, is he not?.” The statement has a slight questioning lilt, but it’s really more of a statement. Vorenus tries to tell him that things will be all right, but the boy is smarter than that. “Do not lie to me. There can only be one son of Caesar.” “Talk that way loud enough and the gods will hear you and make it so.” Vorenus says. “Come with me to the armory and we’ll get you a decent sword, and if it comes to a fight, you can give as good as you get.” Brave words, but the only martial practice we’ve seen the boy get is throwing balls at helpless slaves.

Octavian’s camp. Octavian chuckles at Antony’s proposal for single combat. Octavian asks the emissary for the conditions in the palace. The emissary says Antony is drunk or drugged, but Cleopatra is sober and alert, Lucius Vorenus still loyal to Antony. The emissary leaves, and Octavian, Agrippa, Maecenas, and Pullo discuss strategy. Octavian would rather not burn out the palace with Cleopatra inside, if only to keep the Egyptian people quiet. “What then?” Agrippa asks.

The palace. Lucius Vorenus and Antony spar with sword and shield. Antony is drunkenly clumsy, and it's not in Vorenus to hold back. As they fight, the emissary gives Charmian, Cleopatra’s chief slave and advisor, a private message for Cleopatra. Charmian, in contrast to her appearance last season, is wearing a frightful black wig that looks like Roseanne Rosannadana channeling Jackie O.

On the fighting front, after a few more stumbles, Antony cries “enough” and accepts the applause of the crowd, but then turns and attacks Vorenus again. Vorenus gives the clumsy Antony a shove with his shield that drives him to his knees, and an onlooker laughs. Big mistake. Is laughing-boy a whore, hermaphrodite, or lickspittle? Hard to tell. Antony takes offense. “Do I amuse, you? A f***ing clown, am I?” He does a little clown dance, and orders laughing-boy to stand up and take a weapon to show how he can do better. The man apologizes profusely and begs Cleopatra for assistance, but Antony is relentless, and Vorenus hands the man his sword and shield.

Antony toys with him for a while but, hysterically defending himself, the man gets in a lucky cut and the whole court goes “ooh”. Now Antony’s blood is up, and he relentlessly pursues the hapless no-longer-laughing man, eventually running him through with his sword. Standing, spitted, the soon to be deceased gets one last good line, “Really, sir, I must… protest.” The deathly quiet audience begins to clap when Cleopatra does.

Now, Antony spots Octavian’s emissary and invites “Young Hermes” to give his message. The messenger has not been named, and I don’t think this is really his name because ‘Hermes’ is a Greek name, and the Greek version of the Roman Mercury, the messenger of the gods, so I'll keep calling him 'the messenger'. Octavian refuses Antony’s challenge and insists on the same terms. Otherwise the siege and burning of the palace begins tomorrow. Antony rejects the terms, crudely. (Well, what else did we expect?) Then he rails at the throne room crowd, commanding then to “Enjoy yourselves you f***ing scum. Eat! Eat!” while he throws food at them. He and Vorenus have a drink together as Cleopatra slips from the room.

Cleopatra’s private quarters. Charmian delivers the secret message. Octavian swears to spare Cleopatra and her children’s life if she surrenders separately, and to let her retain her crown. Cleopatra discusses these terms with Charmian, who urges her to accept despite the humiliation. Antony enters, wondering why she’s left the party, and why’s she so sad? “Look at us, Apollo and Isis, it’s pathetic.” (Last week I thought it was Isis and Osiris? A change in self-referential theology?) Now Antony’s coming down. Cleopatra tells him “These years together have been the happiest of my life.” Antony proposes that they mutually suicide now, but Cleopatra says she wants to wait for the day and sunshine. Antony says “Shall we go back to our guests?” Cleopatra desires to stay in her quarters, but tells Antony to go along.

Throne room. Antony returns and drinks and reminisces about old times in the army with Vorenus. Antony asks if Vorenus believes in an afterlife. Vorenus replies, “Of course.” Antony says that some philosophers don’t. Vorenus asks “Which philosophers?” Greeks. “Greeks talk a whole pile of nonsense,” Vorenus opines, “F*** ‘em.” The two philosophers drink until they pass out.

Throne room, the next day. Antony and Vorenus are now alone in the room, sleeping it off. Charmian enters and awakens Antony with a note from Cleopatra. It’s wrapped around a dagger. “Dearest Love, forgive me for leaving you this way” Antony begins to sob. “You know how I hate to say goodbye.” The sobs grow louder. “I will see you on the other side. Please come quickly.” Antony wails, as Vorenus stand respectfully aside. Charmian explains “Queens die alone – it is the custom. With her last breath, she called your name.” Antony sends her away. He is unmanned.

Antony prepares to commit suicide with the knife, then throws it away . “No this won’t do, let’s use a proper Roman sword.” Vorenus offers his, and the two exchange a last few words. “Good place to die at any rate. Could have been a ditch in Gaul. Men that knew Alexander once stood here.” Antony says. “Good a place as any, I suppose.” “Lucius Vorenus, loyal to the end. Don’t you die here, with me,” Antony tells Vorenus, “Get out while you can.” “It’s been an honor serving with you sir.” Vorenus says. “Tell the people I died well, I died Roman,” Antony says. Bracing his hands on Vorenus’s shoulders, he runs himself onto the sword held by Vorenus. He gasps and dies holding, and being held by, Vorenus.

Charmian gazes from hiding as Vorenus gently lowers the body to the floor. He lovingly cleans the body of all the Egyptian makeup, dresses Antony in his Roman military uniform, and places him on the throne.

Cleopatra, very much alive, enters the throne room, and as Vorenus looks on with disgust, approaches and kisses Antony’s lips, crying. She orders Charmian to “bring the children.” Vorenus stares at her and Cleopatra orders him to “Stop looking at me,” but he snarls that he takes no orders from her. He wonders why, now that his captain is dead, he has not “Done the honorable thing?” “I would,” Vorenus replies, “but I have to get Caesarion out of here.” Octavian will kill him, he explains.

Cleopatra asks Vorenus if, now that Antony is dead, Octavian will keep his promises to her. Mostly, Vorenus says, but he will kill Caesarion. He’ll die, and “we both know he’s not the son of Caesar.” Cleopatra protests, but Vorenus reminds her “I was there at his conception.” “Why would you save him. What is he to you?” “He’s nothing,” says Vorenus, “but his father is my friend.”

Cleopatra asks “That man, what’s his name?” “Titus Pullo.” “Is he a good man?” Vorenus (sounding remarkably like me) responds “Define good.”

The children enter, and Cleopatra shows them the body of their father and stepfather. “That is how nobility dies.” She tells Caesarion to “put on your traveling clothes, you’re leaving with Lucius Vorenus.”

The streets of Alexandria. Vorenus and Caesarion make their way through the crowds from the palace, dressed in commoner’s clothes, dodging squads of Roman soldiers, who enter…

The palace. Octavian and his entourage enter. Cleopatra sits in a chair in regal splendor. She and Octavian engage in a polite tete a tete in which he assures her of her safety, but firmly ‘invites’ her to accompany him back to Rome, with the children, and brooks no delay, “we sail tomorrow.” Despite the veneer of politeness, both parties understand exactly what’s being discussed. Cleopatra will be paraded in chains in Octavian’s triumph. Throughout all this polite conversation, Octavian’s demeanor and expression is more reptilian than the cobra figure on Cleopatra’s headdress. Octavian departs.

The palace halls. Cleopatra stumbles and shrieks in hysterical despair. She returns to the throne room and asks forgiveness of Antony’s body, still sitting upright in its martial splendor. “Sorry, my love. You were right about that boy. A monster. He only wants me alive to parade me in shame for the mob to spit on.” She climbs into the corpse’s lap and holds his arm around her neck. She entreats Antony, and kisses him. And lastly, to Charmian, “Bring the old woman.”

Octavian’s camp. Octavian, Maecenas, Agrippa, and Pullo discuss the events of the day. “What if she follows Marc Antony, instead?” Agrippa asks. “She betrayed Antony so that she might live. Why would she lose heart now?” Octavian asks. “You can have that effect on people,” Maecenas says. “No, I was all sweetness and light with her. Charm itself.” “Yes, that is your most disheartening manner.”

The palace. Cleopatra discusses the pros and cons of various poisons with ‘the old woman’. (Who doesn’t look all that old, to me, but then maybe that’s just an indication of how old I’m getting.) “The belladonna is not fast, but it is least painful.” Cleopatra sits on he throne beside her dead lover. She wants no bloating or discoloration, so finally she decides – “the snake then”. The woman produces a snake which Cleopatra cuddles and contemplates for a while, remarking that it’s a different color than “cousin Seth’s”. “They vary. This is the needful animal.” the old woman tells her. “Where’s the best spot?” “Wrist or breast, no matter.” “Thank you.” To Charmian, “Make sure the children are safe before you follow me.”

Cleopatra clasps the snake to her breast and the fatal bite is made. At first she thinks that nothing is happening, but the woman has promised her ‘death within forty breaths’ and we see it begin to come. The woman promises that the initial pain will cease before the end.

Soldiers rush into the palace and at first we think this is after news of Cleopatra’s suicide has gotten out, but then we see Cleopatra is still breathing and the Romans must have decided to cover their bets. Octavian, Agrippa, Maecenas, and Pullo are there to see Cleopatra die. Just before she dies she rises to tell Octavian “You have a rotten soul”, then collapses back into her throne, grasps Antony’s hand, and dies. After a moment Octavian wrests the two hands apart. Octavian’s first command is “Find the children.” Pullo, unnoticed, picks up… something. Perhaps a portrait of Caesarion?

Octavian’s camp. Octavian has a headache. “Caesarion has escaped. With Lucius Vorenus. The man turns loyalty into a vice.” Pullo volunteers to try and find them.

Night is approaching, a camp in the desert wilderness. The camp is next to a fallen statue we’ve seen before. It’s where Vorenus and Pullo waited to follow the Pharaoh’s men to the captive Cleopatra, many years (and one season) ago. Caesarion speaks of what he will do when he recovers his kingdom. Vorenus advises him to forget it, that life is over.

Later, nighttime. Caesarion jumps at several nighttime noises. One turns out to be a real threat. Titus Pullo walks into the firelight. “How’s it going?” he asks Vorenus. “Not so bad, you?” Vorenus responds, and the two old friends embrace. Nodding to the statue, “I never thought I’d see that ugly bastard glaring down at me again.” “I knew you’d remember.” Pullo is happy and proud to see Caesarion. “Handsome, isn’t he?” Caesarion doesn’t like his manner. They sit and talk around the campfire. Caesarion asks for news of his mother. Pullo tells him she killed herself , “Best way to go, honorable.” Caesarion cries, but objects when Pullo touches his shoulder when attempting to comfort him. Pullo and Vorenus decide their best bet is to head south, all other directions are closed by Octavian’s troops. Vorenus asks for news of his children. Vorena the elder is now in the temple of Orbona with Lyde, Lucius is apprenticed to a stonemason, but wants to be a soldier. “You’re not encouraging him, are you?” Vorenus asks Pullo. Vorena the younger, “She’s a little tiger”, now practically runs the Aventine tavern, and can freeze troublemakers with "a look like Medusa on the rag". “Gaia?” “That didn’t end so well, long story.” Pullo somberly replies.

Rome, Atia’s villa. Octavian talks with Atia and tells her Antony is dead. Atia thanks him for telling her privately, and says “You’re as good as king, now.” “Not king, merely first citizen,” Octavian replies. He asks Octavia to watch over Antony’s children by Cleopatra, Helios and Selene. Octavia asks him if he’s murdered ‘the other one’? ‘Soon, I hope,’ Octavian tells her.

A road in Egypt. Pullo and Vorenus, dressed as civilians, drive a cart with Caesarion in the back. Pullo regales them with stories. Memmio’s tongue? “Tasted like chicken.” “Eww” says Caesarion, and me. The cart comes to a roadblock manned by Roman soldiers. Pullo and Vorenus claim to be Roman grain merchants headed for Memphis, the boy their slave. The soldier in charge of the roadblock appears to be buying the story, but as they start to leave, he asks, in Egyptian, for Caesarion’s blessing. Caesarion, also in Egyptian, grants it, and the fight is on. Pullo and Vorenus win, killing a superior number of soldiers, but after the fight is over Vorenus collapses, wounded. Pullo says he’s seen worse, “just a few scratches” but the blood on his hand belies his words. Vorenus is not fooled and demands to be taken back to Rome to die, and to see his children.

One month later, Rome. Octavia watches as the children play, and asks Atia if she’s chosen a dress for the triumph. “Today’s your triumph as much as his. Mother of the first citizen, you should be happy.” she says. Atia is depressed, and says she may not go.

The forum. The Town Crier Dude announces Octavian’s upcoming triumph to celebrate his victory over the Egyptians and the “glorious rebirth of our republic.” As he read the rules for the triumph, Pullo enters Rome driving a cart with Vorenus in the back.

The Aventine tavern. Lyde and the children are eating at the table. Pullo enters with Caesarion, who he says to be “Aneaus, a friend, he’s from Egypt.” “Children, I’ve brought your father home.” “Why did you bring him here?” Vorena the elder asks. “He wants to see you. He’s been wounded. He’s going to die, likely.”

Later. A room, the family quarters. Pullo is talking to Lyde, who is mopping Vorenus’s brow with a cloth.. He says Vorenus should have died weeks ago but stubbornly stayed alive to see his children in Rome. “Won’t last long, now.” “Thank you, Doctor Pullo, Vorenus says, awakening. Seeing only Lyde, he says “Where are the children? ... They don’t want to see me.” But Vorena is looking though the louvered blinds. “Stubborn like their mother,” he says. Lyde tells him to rest. Trumpets sound in the street and Vorenus asks “What’s that?” Just Octavian’s triumph starting, Pullo tells him. “Thanks. I thought I was dying.” Vorenus says. They clasp hands.

Vorena the elder calls softly “Father” and quietly enters the room. She takes Vorenus’s hand and kisses him, kneels at his side. He gently caresses her cheek with a finger. We see Vorena the younger and Lucius enter and stand nearby, and a contented look comes on Vorenus’s face.

A chamber, somewhere. Livia greets the ladies gathered there and decries Atia’s snubbing the ceremony. “I’m afraid my husband will take it as an insult.” “Livia claps her hands and announces “It is time. In order of precedence, please.” Just before the assembled women can proceed to the balcony where they will watch the triumph, Atia appears and heads straight for the balcony exit. Livia tells her ‘the priests’ say ‘the wife’ should take precedence over ‘the mother’. Atia declares Livia a “vicious little trollop” and goes first, anyway. Octavia is amused by the polite cat-fight.

Outside. The women take their seats and look on as the triumph proceeds. Trumpeters. Cheering throngs. Octavian rides a chariot, a slave behind him holding a crown just over his head. We don’t hear it, but tradition and Gen. George S. Patton tell us that the slave is supposed to be whispering “Remember, all flesh is mortal,” in his ear. The crowd chants “Caesar, Caesar.” Soldiers march. Octavian takes his seat with his family, next to Livia. The crowd cheers. Octavia and Agrippa, seated nearby, eye each other. Trophies of conquest are paraded, golden statues and chained slaves. The desiccated bodies of Antony and Cleopatra are tied upright on a wagon. No expression crosses Atia’s face as the body of her lover passes. Atia gazes sideways Octavian, who is expressionless and unblinking as ever. He returns her look. She looks the other way and the merest glimmer of … grief(?) can be seen in her eyes as the scene fades

Octavian’s private quarters. Octavian sits contemplating a game board, alone. Pullo enters and Octavian greets him with a smile, then asks the result of Pullo’s mission to find Caesarion. Pullo says he found him, killed him (“cut his throat”), and tried to bring his head to Octavian, but “it went bad, didn’t look like anyone, so I tossed it.” Also, Lucius Vorenus is dead. Octavian says he must reward Pullo. “Reward? Hadn’t thought of that. Wouldn’t say ‘no’.”

The streets of Rome. Pullo hands a copper to a beggar. Caesarion approaches and says “So?” “He bought it” says Pullo and the two walk off together. As they walk down the street, Caesarion begins to talk about his revenge someday. “Didn’t I tell you there’s be no more of that blather?” Pullo asks. Caesarion says he cannot rest until he has avenged his mother, and redeemed his father’s name. “Listen,” Pullo says, “about your father…” and he puts his hand on the boy’s shoulder as they walk off into the crowded streets of Rome.

The theme music sounds, and our viewpoint pulls back, and “Rome” is done…

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Next Week: Alas, nothing of "Rome" but reruns.

It has been an honor and a privilege spending these weeks with you. I believe the “Rome” series will stand the test of time as a great work, bringing the times and personalities of the glorious republic in its waning days to life before our eyes.

Ave, atque, vale.

- Cecil

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Previous Episode: Rome: 2-9F “Deus Impeditio Esuritori Nullus”
(No God Can Stop a Hungry Man) - Review

Next Episode: Sadly, there will be no more, herewith ends “Rome”

Click here for complete "Rome" broadcast schedule, including reshow days, times, and HBO Channel

Previously: We see Titus Pullo and Cleopatra in flagrante / Caesarion presented to the troops / Pullo rationing grain / Atia’s abortive journey to Egypt / Gaia’s employment interview / Cleopatra & Antony / Atia spurned / Antony and Cleopatra lovers / The Town Crier Dude denouncing Antony / Antony’s will being read

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Opening scene.

A boat. Mark Antony and Lucius Vorenus are escaping the loss of the battle of Actium. We see burning ships on the horizon. Vorenus has a dead rower cast over the side, and offers a disconsolate Antony a drink of water. Antony philosophizes that “Defeat is not as terrible as I expected. The sun still shines, water still tastes good.”

The Forum square. The town crier dude announced the glorious victory of Octavian Caesar’s naval forces over Antony’s, and Octavian’s advance on Alexandria.

Livia’s quarters. Livia lectures a group of ladies on the victory, while Octavia snivels.

Octavian’s camp near Alexandria. Octavian listens as a messenger presents Antony and Cleopatra’s terms for surrendering themselves. Octavian sends back that no terms are acceptable except unconditional surrender without conditions. Octavian asks Pullo if he thinks Vorenus will open the palace to them in return for a guarantee of some sort. Pullo says they don’t know Vorenus if they think so, but proposes a message for Vorenus: “Tell him his children are well and ask how my son is.”

Antony and Cleopatra’s palace in Alexandria. Faced with defeat, what better time for an orgy? Bodies writhe all over the throne room. Are those cymbals I hear? An emissary presents Octavian’s answer. It’s “No.” Antony and Cleopatra discuss their options. Cleopatra proposes ‘going south.’ Antony says “And hide under bushes?” Antony raises the option of suicide. Look at us, Antony says, “Surrounded by whores, hermaphrodites, and lickspittles.” He gives the emissary a counter-proposal. “I challenge your master to single combat. Let us fight it out as our ancestors did.” He orders Vorenus to bring weapons for practice.

Octavian’s camp. Octavian asks the emissary for the conditions in the palace. The emissary says Antony is drunk, but Cleopatra is sober and attentive, Lucius Vorenus still loyal to Antony.

The palace. Lucius Vorenus and Antony spar with sword and shield. As they do, the emissary gives a servant a private message for Cleopatra. On the fighting front, Vorenus gives the clumsy Antony a shove with his shield, and an onlooker laughs. Big mistake. Is laughing-guy a whore, hermaphrodite, or lickspittle? Hard to tell. Antony takes offense and orders the laughing-guy be given weapons to show how he can do better. The man apologizes profusely and begs to Cleopatra for assistance, but Antony is relentless, and Vorenus hands the man a sword and shield. Antony toys with him for a while but, hysterically defending himself the man gets in a lucky cut and the whole court goes “ooh”. Now Antony’s blood is up, and he relentlessly pursues the hapless no-longer-laughing-guy, eventually running him through with his sword, to the applause of the audience.

Octavian’s emissary relays his terms: he refuses Antony’s challenge and insists on the same terms. Otherwise the siege and burning of the palace begins tomorrow.

Cleopatra’s private quarters. The secret message is delivered. Octavian swears to spare Cleopatra and her children’s life if she surrenders separately. Cleopatra discusses these terms with Charmian her slave and closest adviser. Antony enters. Cleopatra tells him “these past years have been the happiest of my life.” Now, “look at us, Apollo and Isis, it’s pathetic.” (Last week I thought it was Isis and Osiris? A change in self-referential theology?) Antony proposes that they mutually suicide now, but Cleopatra says she wants to wait for the day and sunshine. Antony says “Shall we go back to our guests?” Cleopatra desires to stay in her quarters.

Throne room. Antony returns and drinks and reminisces about old times in the army with Vorenus. Antony asks if Vorenus believes in an afterlife. Vorenus replies, “Of course.” Antony says that some philosophers don’t. Vorenus asks “Which philosophers?” Greeks. “Greeks always talk of paradoxes,” Vorenus opines, “F*** ‘em.” The two philosophers drink until they pass out.

Throne room, the next day. Antony and Vorenus are now alone in the room, sleeping it off. Charmian enters and awakens Antony with a note from Cleopatra. “Dearest Love, forgive me for leaving you this way. See you on the other side. Please come quickly.” Antony cries in anguish, as Charmian explains “Queens die alone – it is the custom. With her last breath, she called your name.” Antony sends her away.

Antony prepares to commit suicide with a knife, then throws it away . “No this won’t do, I must use a proper Roman sword.” Vorenus offers his, and the two exchange a last few words. “Good place to die.” Antony says. “Good as any, I suppose.” “Don’t die here, with me,” Antony tells Vorenus, “Get out while you can.” “It’s been an honor serving with you.” Vorenus says. “Tell the people I died well, I died Roman,” Antony says, and runs himself onto the sword held by Vorenus. He gasps and dies in Vorenus‘s arms. Vorenus lovingly cleans the body of all the Egyptian makeup, dresses Antony in his Roman military uniform, and places him on the throne.

Cleopatra, very much alive, enters the throne room and kisses Antony’s face. She orders Charmian to “bring the children.” Vorenus stares at her and Cleopatra orders him to “Stop looking at me,” but he snarls that he takes no orders from her. She asks him if, now that Antony is dead, Octavian will keep his promises to her. Mostly, Vorenus says, but he will kill Caesarion. Cleopatra asks “Is Octavian a good man?” Vorenus (sounding remarkably like me) responds “Define good.”

Cleopatra shows the children the body of their father and stepfather. She tells Caesarion to “put on your traveling clothes, you’re going with Vorenus.”

The street of Alexandria. Vorenus and Caesarion make their way through the crowds from the palace, dressed in commoner’s clothes.

The palace. Octavian and his entourage enter. Cleopatra sits on her throne in regal splendor, next to the body of Mark Antony. She and Octavian engage in a polite tete a tete in which he assures her of her safety, but firmly ‘invites’ her to accompany him back to Rome, with the children, and brooks no delay, “we sail tomorrow.” Despite the veneer of politeness, both parties understand exactly what’s being discussed. Cleopatra will be paraded in chains in Octavian’s triumph. Octavian departs.

The palace halls. Cleopatra stumbles and shrieks in despair. She returns to the throne room and asks forgiveness of Antony’s body, still sitting upright in it’s martial splendor. “Sorry, my love. That boy is a monster. He just wants to parade me in shame.” And lastly, to Charmian, “Bring the old woman.”

Octavian’s camp. Octavian, Maecenas, Agrippa, and Pullo discuss the events of the day. “What if Cleopatra decides to follow Antony?” one asks, “Why should she, she betrayed Antony to save herself and her children?”

The palace. Cleopatra discusses the pros and cons of various poisons with ‘the old woman’. (Who doesn’t look all that old, to me, but then maybe that’s just an indication of how old I’m getting.) Cleopatra finally decides – “the snake then”. The woman produces a snake which Cleopatra cuddles and contemplates for a while remarking that it’s a different color than “cousin Seth’s”. “They vary,” the old woman tells her. “Where’s the best spot?” “Wrist or breast, but no matter.” Cleopatra claps the snake to her breast and the fatal bite is made. At first Cleopatra thinks that nothing is happening, but the woman has promised her ‘death within forty breaths’ and we see it begin to come. The woman promises that the initial pain will cease before the end.

Soldiers rush into the palace and at first we think this is after news of Cleopatra’s suicide has gotten out, but then we see Cleopatra is still breathing and the Romans must have decided to cover their bets. Octavian, Maecenas, and Pullo are there to see Cleopatra die. Octavian’s first command “Find the children.”

Nighttime, a camp in the desert wilderness. Caesarion speaks of what he will do when he recovers his kingdom. Vorenus advises him to forget it and get some sleep. Caesarion jumps at several nighttime noises. One turns out to be a real threat. Titus Pullo walks into the firelight. “How’s it going?” he asks Vorenus. “Not so bad, you?” Vorenus responds, and the two old friends embrace. They sit and talk around the campfire. Caesarion asks for news of his mother. Pullo tells him she killed herself “The best way to go, honorable.” Caesarion cries. Pullo and Vorenus decide their best bet is to head south, all other directions are closed by Octavian’s troops. Vorenus asks for news of his children. Vorena the elder is now in the temple of Urbana with Lyde, Lucius is apprenticed to a stonemason, but wants to be a soldier. “I hope you discouraged him,” Vorenus tells Pullo. Vorena the younger now runs the Aventine tavern, and can freeze troublemakers with a ‘look like Medusa’. “Gaia?” Didn’t work out so well, long story.” Pullo somberly replies.

Rome. Octavian talks with Atia and tells her Antony is dead. Atia thanks him for telling her privately, and says “Now you can be king.” “Not king, merely first citizen,” Octavian replies. He asks Octavia to watch over Antony’s children by Cleopatra. Octavia asks him if he’s gotten rid of the other one? ‘Soon,’ Octavian tells her.

A road in Egypt. Pullo and Vorenus, dressed as civilians, drive a wagon with Caesarion in the back. Pullo regales them with stories. Memmio’s tongue? “Tasted like chicken.” “Eww” says Caesarion, and me. The wagon comes to a roadblock manned by Roman soldiers. Pullo and Vorenus claim to be Roman grain merchants headed for Memphis, the boy their slave. The soldier in charge of the roadblock appears to be buying the story, but as they start to leave, he asks, in Egyptian, for Caesarion’s blessing. Caesarion, also in Egyptian, grants it, and the fight is on. Pullo and Vorenus win, against superior number of soldiers, but after the fight is over Vorenus collapses, wounded. Pullo says he’s seen worse, but Vorenus is not fooled and demands to be taken back to Rome to die.

One month later, Rome. Octavia watches as the children play, and asks Atia if she’s chosen a dress for the triumph tomorrow. “It’s as much yours as his,” she says. Atia is depressed, and says she may not go.

The forum. The Town Crier Dude announces Octavian’s upcoming triumph to celebrate his victory over the Egyptians.

The streets. Pullo enters Rome driving a cart with Vorenus in the back.

The temple of Urbana. Pullo enters and announces “Children, I’ve brought your father home to die.”

Later. A room, somewhere. Pullo is talking to Lyde. He says Vorenus should have died weeks ago but stubbornly stayed alive to see his children in Rome. Vorenus awaken, and seeing only Lyde, says “Where are the children. They don’t want to see me?” Lyde tells him to rest. Trumpets sound in the street and Vorenus asks “What’s that?? Just Octavian’s triumph starting, Pullo tells him. “Thanks. I thought I was dying.” Vorenus says. Vorena the elder quietly enters the room and kisses Vorenus, calling softly “Father.” We see Vorena the younger and Lucius enter and stand nearby, and a contented look comes on Vorenus’s face.

A dressing room. Livia greets the ladies gathered there and decries Atia’s snubbing the ceremony. Just before the assembled women can precede to the balcony where they will watch the triumph, Atia appears and heads straight for the balcony exit. Livia tells her ‘the priest’ says ‘the wife’ should take precedence over ‘the mother’. Atia declares Livia a “vicious little trollop” and goes first, anyway.

Outside. The women look on as the triumph proceeds. Octavian rides a chariot, a slave holding a crown just over his head. Soldiers march. The crowd cheers. Trophies of conquest are paraded. Octavia eyes Agrippa, seated nearby. Atia eyes Octavian, then shifts her gaze to – who?

Octavian’s private quarters. Octavian sits contemplating a game, alone. Pullo enters and Octavian greets him, then asks the result of Pullo’s mission to find Caesarion. Pullo says he found him, killed him (“slit his throat”), and tried to bring his head to Octavian, but “it went bad, didn’t look like anybody”. Also, Lucius Vorenus is dead. Octavian says he must reward Pullo. “Reward? Hadn’t thought of that. Wouldn’t say ‘no’.”

The streets of Rome. Pullo tells Lyde “he bought it” and takes Caesarion with him. As they walk down the street, Pullo’s hand on Caesarion’s shoulder, Caesarion begins to talk about his father. “Listen,” Pullo says, “about your father…”.

And our viewpoint pulls back, and “Rome” is done…

Ave, atque, vale.

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Next Week: Alas, nothing of Rome but reruns.

- Cecil

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Full review available now, HERE.

Previous Capsule: Rome: 2-9C “Deus Impeditio Esuritori Nullus”
(No God Can Stop a Hungry Man) - Capsule Review

Next Capsule: Sadly, there will be no more, herewith ends “Rome”

Click here for complete "Rome" broadcast schedule, including reshow days, times, and HBO Channel

Previously: The gold is stolen / Octavian chooses a new wife / Pullo shouts for a doctor / The world’s coldest supper / Octavia shamed / Antony banished / Octavia & Agrippa say goodbye / Antony & Atia say goodbye / Octavian informs his intended of his sexual proclivities / Vorenus confronts Vorena the elder / Vorenus resigns and requests to accompany Antony to Egypt / Pullo and the Aventine Collegium fight Memmio and his allies for control / Antony & Cleopatra reunite

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Opening scene.

Vorenus’s bed, Egypt. Vorenus lies in bed next to a woman as a gentle breeze stirs the curtains. “Wake up, sleepyhead,” he says as Niobe turns to him and smiles. He kisses her, and suddenly she is cursing him in Egyptian. He awakens fully to find himself in bed with a freaky looking bald-headed Egyptian whore with a bad temper and worse wig. He gets up, disgusted, and splashes water in his face. Another hot Egyptian day.

The streets of Alexandria. In the marketplace, buyers and sellers finger plentiful sacks of grain, as Vorenus, dressed in full military gear, makes his way through the crowded streets, past the docks, and to the palace. Passersby bow to him. Signs of commerce are all around.

The palace in Alexandria. Vorenus enters and encounters a water-pipe smoking Posca, who asks if his “monthly debauch” is finished already. Posca is wearing Egypt eye makeup. (Vorenus isn’t.) “Where is he?” Vorenus asks. “A deep question”. Posca replies. His mortal flesh is in the throne room with Cleopatra and a delegation from Rome headed by Senator Bibulus. Posca has left because Cleopatra ‘growls at him’ and he fears for his life.

The Throne room. As the delegation from Rome waits and fumes, Antony is giving Cleopatra archery lessons. Antony is made up and dressed as an Egyptian. Their target is a man in a stag’s pelt, crawling about and simulating the prey. The lesson is punctuated with kisses. Antony shoots, and the arrow bounces of the target’s leather-armored midsection. Cleopatra takes a turn. The senators try to break in with an offer, and all they get is an angry “Shhh” from Cleopatra. Her first shot breaks an urn, angering her. “The beast moved!”

The delegation again try to continue negotiations, offering double the price for grain, if it can be delivered within the month. Cleopatra shoots again, and the arrow buries itself in a cabinet in front of the startled ‘prey’s face. “Triple” says Cleopatra, angry over missing another shot. The senators agree. “And Carthage, annexed to Antony’s control.” ‘Perhaps.’ Antony says Octavian must be really desperate. “People are starving, dieing. Octavian will do what he must to prevent further suffering” Bibulus says. “Because he loved the people so,” Cleopatra snits. “He does.” says the senator. Antony says the people love him more, not Octavian. “Isn’t that right, Vorenus?” “Right” says an obedient Vorenus.

The agreement apparently completed, the delegation bows to leave, while Antony nuzzles Cleopatra’s hip. Before they can leave, Antony adds “And Spain.” As the senator sputters, Cleopatra makes her final shot – right through the unarmored neck of her victim. Her audience applauds as the ‘stag’ expires, bleeding, on the floor of the throne room. ‘Too bad, no deal, pleasant voyage home, boys.’ And Antony and Cleopatra exit over the body of their target. Vorenus orders the body of the target removed and offers to show the delegation to their quarters. “Is he always like that?” “Like what?” Vorenus laconically replies.

Antony & Cleopatra’s private quarters. The lovers discuss the conversation. Cleopatra removes her heavy wig, which must be Hell in that climate. The rest of her royal costume, being mostly nothing, is quite adapted to the heat. Antony’s convinced that Octavian will not declare war. Cleopatra suggests Antony declare war first. Antony’s angling for political effect, however and wants the onus of declaring war to be on Octavian, so he can return to Rome as a savior. They are interrupted by their children, Helios and Selene. Cleopatra runs them off to allow Antony to sleep, as she watches over him, a calculating look on her face.

Aventine Collegium, Pullo’s quarters. Gaia and Pullo are in bed – the sound of an angry mob awakens them. Pullo dresses as Gaia pouts. They engage in a little lovers’ talk, but Pullo must be off. “Where you going?” “You can hear them.” “What are you going to do, bake them a cake?” “I forget sometimes what a cold-hearted bitch you are.” Pullo says he’d trade her for “a good horse with the leather’s thrown in.” They laugh and kiss, then Pullo is off – after a brief feel and a sigh.

Outside. Pullo makes his way through the angry mob, waving their bowls and howling “Grain. Grain!”. He’s protected by henchmen pushing and pulling. He climbs to speak on a balcony. Mascius hobbles into the crowd on crutches as Pullo speaks. Speaking plainly and simply Pullo explains the day’s ration is gone, and if he opened the granaries as the crowd wants, they’d be satisfied today, but starving tomorrow. The crowd apparently realizes he’s making sense and disperses. After the speech Mascius and Pullo exchange a few friendly words. Why is Mascius on crutches? He was walking at the fight for the Aventine Collegium, so his injuries are not from the gold robbery. He must have been injured in the gang fight, or in the several subsequent years.

The Vorenus children approach, and Pullo chides them for coming out in a dangerous situation. “They’re just hungry, they won’t hurt us” Vorena the elder says. “Hungry people do strange things.” Pullo responds. Vorena the elder says “Then blessed Urbona would protect us.” "Well run along and ask her to send a few grain ships," Pullo comes back. We see that little Lucius is now played by yet a third actor, and is more like young Lucius.

Inside the granary. Pullo asks how much grain is left. “Ten days at a quarter ration.” Mascius says the baker's guild man was around earlier. Offering “six hundred a sack”. “Six hundred and a few dead children for every sack that doesn’t get to the people that need them.” Pullo ‘pisses on the offer’. He drops a fragment of food onto a cage in the corner, and we discover that tongue-less Memmio, hairy as a Gaul, is being kept in a cage in the Aventine Collegium as an object lesson to anyone else who would think of revolting against Pullo. Memmio seem to be insane. Pullo calls for his best clothes and says he’s going to see “his honor”.

Octavian’s offices. Pullo explains the situation before Octavian, Maecenas, and Agrippa. Maecenas makes jokes, “I understand that dogs make good eating.” Pullo takes him seriously, “They do. Taste like pork if you cook ‘em right. All gone.” Agrippa comes up with a serious proposal – send three legions to Africa and let Lepidus feed them, which would extend the city’s grain supply by a month. “Have it done," Octavian commands. Pullo turns to leave, but Octavian stops him to ask what the people are saying. Pullo responds honestly but tactfully that the people blame Octavian, not Antony. Octavian thanks Pullo, who departs. After he leaves, the three discuss tactics. They agree that they cannot declare war on Antony unless the people are with them, which is not yet the case. Octavian sends for Atia and Octavia to come to dinner.

Atia’s villa. Granny Atia picks up her granddaughter Antonia, who Octavia is looking for. Octavia grouses that Antonia doesn’t listen to a word she says, as chief female slave Merula looks on, amused. Atia observed that that’s just like Octavia was as a child, whereas Octavian was ‘no trouble at all’. Atia is looking - as she does every day - for a letter from Antony, which never comes. Atia still expects Antony to send for her. “Even if he did,” Octavia asks, “do you think Octavian would let you go?” Casta informs them that Octavian has summonsed them to dinner. Attendance not optional. “What does he want, now?” Octavia wonders. “Nothing to our benefit,” Atia opines.

Octavian’s dining room. Another cold dinner as Octavian observes “Family and friends, eh? Nothing better.” Octavian requests Octavia go to Egypt and ask her husband to free up the grain shipments. Octavia says Atia should go instead, being Antony’s “real wife”. Octavian suggests they go together. Atia responds coolly to the suggestion and asks “what’s in it for us?” Octavian more or less invites them to name their price. Atia says she’s tired of Pompeii, perhaps a villa in Capri? And Octavia? A villa would be nice, and perhaps some gladiators as well? But finally they decide on plain cash. Octavian agrees and tells Maecenas to have the newsreader announce it as soon as possible.

Octavian’s bedroom. Octavian and Livia engage in some vigorous, and sadomasochistic sex. But unlike his prenuptial discussion, Octavian seems to be on the receiving end of the violence. Which apparently suits him just fine. A couple of roundhouse slaps, to either cheek, spur him to even greater exertion. In a second session, Livia is on top and applying a choking forearm to Octavian’s throat. Livia seems to have adapted to the new lifestyle quite well. As they lie gasping afterwards, Livia makes some irrelevant observations about birds and eggs, but then turns the conversation to Octavian’s motivation for sending Octavia and Atia to Egypt, and we see that Livia has a strategic mind to equal Octavian’s. Perhaps he married better than he thought. She reasons that Octavian wins either way – either Antony publicly turns away and humiliates his wife, leading to him losing face with the Roman public, or he acquiesces and Octavian gets his grain. “Clever boy!” she compliments him.

A ship in the Mediterranean. The ship rolls and tosses on what is really a rather calm sea. Atia paces as Octavia feels sick. Atia wonders if she’s changed since Antony saw her last. Octavia sarcastically says ‘no, you're the same as you always were, and Antony will fall into your arms in a delirium of love.’ “Do you mean that?” “No.” Atia says Octavia has changed, become “mean and bitter”. Octavia says Atia has become “girlish and sentimental.” A servant’s retching makes Octavia feel worse. “Land ho!” and we see the ship glide into the Alexandria harbor, past the magnificent lighthouse – one of the seven wonders of the world.

The palace in Alexandria. As Vorenus watches, Caesarion plays a game of ball. The game consists of throwing a hard ball at a cringing servitor. Caesarion changes the rules as suits him. Tiring of the game, he dismisses the servant and plays a bit of catch with Vorenus. Vorenus won’t condescend, and throws a low hard one right at the boy’s butt as he shies from the ball. The game continues in a more congenial fashion, and Caesarion asks Vorenus to “tell me more about my father”. Vorenus discusses “his father” in terms that seemingly could apply to either Caesar or Pullo. But finally when he comes to the topic of eating it seems he’s describing Pullo, not Caesar, and it puzzles Caesarion who’d heard Caesar was an “abstemious” eater. Vorenus basks off and says “There’s others knew him far better than I did.” Posca dashes into the room asking “where are they?”

The bedroom: Antony and Cleopatra are in bed, smoking a little opium as Posca tells them that Atia’s ship is in the harbor already, and they are on the way to the palace now and request an immediate audience. Antony and Cleopatra discuss the meaning of the unexpected visit. Antony seems to realize Octavian’s strategy of forcing Antony to choose between Atia/Octavia and Cleopatra, thus striking at Antony’s support among the people if he turns away Atia, which, he assures Cleopatra, he will do, and gaining Octavian his premise for war. Cleopatra wonders ‘Isn’t that what you wanted?’ “He is striking at my support amongst the people,” Antony declares.

Cleopatra proposes ‘throwing a lovely party’ and starts to send her chief slave Charmian to set it up, but Antony vetoes this. He thinks Cleopatra wants to enjoy “humiliating Atia, watching her squirm as you play the Queen.” “Play the Queen – I am the Queen,” Cleopatra retorts. The little marital spat is turning into foreplay. “An act of kindness,” Cleopatra suggests, “stop her pining for you.”

Antony says he no longer loves Atia, but doesn’t want to publicly humiliate her, which to Cleopatra is “the whole point – that is why they’re here, to be humiliated.” OK, Cleopatra modestly proposes, let’s kill them then, thus no humiliation and a message to Octavian. Or, alternatively, their ship can have a ‘little accident on the way home, happens all the time.’ But Antony does still have some feelings, and responds angrily to the proposal. “No!” Cleopatra begins to escalate the argument to crockery throwing and charges of cowardice or still having feelings for Atia. Antony easily dodges the crockery, but not the charges.

The harbor. A stately procession begins, as Atia and Octavia are carried in shaded sedan chairs toward the palace by slaves. The procession stops at the palace door, which is not open. “What a ghastly place,” Atia sniffs. “Big though, ” Octavia sounds intimidated. “Sign of vulgarity,” Atia says, then with typical look down the Roman noseism about the Greek origins of the Egyptian dynasty, “The Ptolemys were originally goatherds, don’t you know.” Still the doors remain closed.

Inside. The fight is on. Cleopatra slaps Antony(3). And again(4). (Seems to be becoming a theme.) Hair is pulled and ears bitten. Bodies hurled.

Outside. Atia and Octavia swelter in the hot sun and grouse about the impolite reception. Even Merula grouses. The door opens a crack, and a smiling Egyptian maiden slips out wearing a big black wig. She speaks – it’s Jocasta, in Egyptian style clothes and Egyptian eye makeup. “Her majesty doesn’t like the Roman style," she explains. She asks about the new fashions in Rome, and chatters on about other inconsequential topics. She asks them why they are here, and have they come for Crocodile Day? Atia wonders where their reception is, and asks Jocasta to go and fetch Antony, which Jocasta explains she can’t do, as no one is allowed to speak to Antony without Cleopatra’s approval, excepting only Posca and Lucius Vorenus.

Posca comes out of the palace and is horrified to find Jocasta there, makes stammered and incoherent noises at Atia without responding to anything she says, and hustles Jocasta back inside. “They’ve all gone insane!” Atia observes. They’re left staring at the twin cobras on the closed doors.

Inside. The fight has turned into steamy sex. In the middle of which, Cleopatra nods to Charmian, who departs. Antony, more interested in nibbling nipples, doesn’t notice.

Outside. Octavia and Atia steam as well, though not so pleasurably.

Inside. The sex is over and a cat clambers over the lovers. Cleopatra is telling Antony that “This palace life is no good for you. You need action. You’ll be much more happy when the war begins.” Vorenus enters. Antony tells Vorenus he has a “delicate mission” for him.

Outside. Vorenus comes out to the two travelers accompanied by seven Nubian guards with long bladed weapons. He tells them Antony has ordered him to escort them back to their ship and make sure they leave when the wind allows. If they won’t go peaceably, the men with him will force them. Atia attempts to call Antony out, recalling the scene where Antony called out Atia before leaving Rome. Atia’s calls are more vulgar and to no avail. Atia slaps (5) and strikes Vorenus in frustration, then collapses, crying, before being led off. Octavia tells Vorenus to “tell my husband he’s cowardly scum.” This time the party walks, led by a determinedly striding Atia.

Inside. Posca and Jocasta are hurriedly packing. Vorenus interrupts “Going somewhere?” Posca says they were merely taking a stroll to the harbor to look at the ships. Jocasta begs him to "please don’t tell, they’ll kill us.” Vorenus, knowing perfectly well what they are doing, says go quickly, “the wind is changing and the ships look best when their sails are set,” “Come with us," Posca says, but Vorenus declines, citing his duty. “If you happen to see Titus Pullo, ask him to kiss my children for me.”

The streets. Posca and Jocasta slip out and head for the harbor.

The ship. Atia lies disconsolate as Merula tries to comfort her. Octavia removes her wedding ring and throws it out a port hole into the harbor. Posca and Jocasta enter and request asylum.

The Palace. Vorenus and Caesarion are talking again, and Caesarion presses for more details about his father. “Look to yourself,” Vorenus says. “You are what remains of him.” Antony appears and asks how his mission went. “They’re gone.” “Good, good.” “Atia take it with her usual poise?” “No” “And where is Posca?” “I don’t know, sir, do you want me to go and look for him?” “No.” “Sir, your wife instructed me to tell you that you are cowardly scum.” “She did, did she? And what’s your opinion of that?” “It’s not my place to have an opinion, sir.” “Tell me anyway.” “Is that an order?” “Yes.” “You’re no coward. But you do have a strong disease in your soul. A disease that will eat away at you, until you die.” “Really?” (sighs) “And what is this disease?” “I don’t know, I’m not a doctor.” “No you’re not, so how can you be so sure of your diagnosis, then?” “I recognize your symptoms. I have the same sickness.” Antony, staring truth in the face, sighs heavily again and departs. Vorenus and Caesarion return to playing catch.

Long shot of the hills of Rome. In his offices, Octavian receives Atia and Posca. Atia opens the discussion with a rousing slap.(6) Fortunately, Octavian doesn’t take this as foreplay. “Hello, mother” he says calmly, “and Posca, what a pleasant surprise”. He says he wished for a better outcome. Atia says “Posca has something here that will help you destroy Antony.” Atia, a woman truly scorned, is now all fury, “Crush Antony and his Queen! And you can keep your damned villa.” The something Posca has is Antony and Cleopatra’s last will and testament, which Posca says is genuine. Maecenas snatches it from Posca and reads, chuckling. “This ones cooked himself for dinner.” The provisions are 1- Antony to be buried in Alexandria, 2 - Cleopatra is his wife and they are living gods, Isis and Osiris, 3 - to his children by Cleopatra he leaves all the eastern provinces, and 4 - Caesarion is to be given Rome and the west.

The forum square. The town crier dude reads the shocking terms of Antony’s will. “He worships dogs and reptiles. He blackens his eyes with soot like a prostitute. He dances and plays the cymbals in vile Nileotic rites.” Oh no, not the cymbals! This is too much! Ian McNiece is in fine form.

The Senate. Octavian details Antony’s excesses and maintains there is no course but “to fight and destroy him”, to the applause of the senators.

Later. Alone in the senate, Octavian receives Pullo accompanied by Posca. He asks Pullo to accompany him to Egypt, possibly to act as intermediary with Vorenus. He hopes to avoid fighting if possible, but Antony and Caesarion, he says, will have to die. Mention of Caesarion gives Pullo some pause, but Pullo agrees. Posca delivers Vorenus’s message to Pullo.

The Aventine Collegium, outside. Pullo is explaining his trip to the children. Lyde is present as well. "Can I come with you?” Lucius speaks! Which I believe are his first spoken words, perhaps even first sounds, in this long saga – 21 hours and three actors in. Pullo tells the children he may see their father. “He sent word that I should give you all a kiss from him.” Vorena the elder refuses, Vorena the younger and young Lucius reluctantly accept kisses on the head. “Can I give him a kiss from you in return?” he asks. “No!” says young Lucius “He killed our mother.” “It’s true isn’t it?” Vorena the elder asks. Instead of disputing, Pullo responds “You’re a hard one, you.” “My father made me so.” “I hear you.”

Egypt. Vorenus lies alone at night, eyes wide.

Aventine Collegium. Pullo gives instruction for his absence. “No trouble, no skimming from the grain ration, no stealing of women, nor any extortion, robbery or arson.” But aren’t most of these their normal activities? “Unless under direct license by Mascius.” Oh, OK, then. “Anybody steps out of line they’ll be sharing their dinner with Memmio." Who, named, grabs insanely at the bars of his cage.

Later, alone with Gaia. Pullo is packing. Gaia wants to go. “It’s a war, not a shopping trip” Pullo says. Pullo goes out to the tavern area for a late snack. Looking around idly, he notices Memmio’s cage is open, the lock picked with a bit of bone. Alert, he picks up a knife from the table and begins looking and calling Memmio’s name, in the shadowy tavern. A figure emerges from the dark behind him, and Memmio clubs Pullo unconscious. He takes the knife and kneels over Pullo's unconscious body and slaps his cheeks(7) (8) (9). He wants Pullo to see the knife coming. Before he can plunge the knife into Pullo’s heart, Gaia appears and struggles with him. In the struggle, Memmio knifes Gaia, twice, but she manages to beat his brains out with a metal bowl before collapsing, bleeding profusely.

The bedroom. Once again the same doctor and priestess are in attendance as Pullo frets over another lover bleeding to death. “Not again, what have I done? Why are you punishing me like this?” he wails. (Dashing an innocent slave's brains out on a column comes to mind.) “You selfish bastard,” Gaia says between gritted teeth, “It’s me dying not you. It’s me being punished.” She declines Pullo’s characterization of her as a “good woman”. That title, she says, belonged to Eirene, not her.

In her pain, Pullo holding her hand and sobbing, Gaia says she can’t go to the afterlife with lies in her heart. “Nemesis won’t let me pass.” “What lies?” Pullo asks, tearing up even more. She asks him to send the attendants away, then when they’re gone asks Pullo to “Remember, when I’m gone, what I did, I did out of love for you.” Finally she confesses to poisoning Eirene and Pullo’s child. The news takes a while to sink in on Pullo, but when it does his fingers close on her throat. “Goodbye, love” she says, with literally her last breath. Pullo’s fingers tighten and his eyes grow hard as he increases the pressure, shortening Gaia’s life by a few minutes. As she expires, he gasps and draws back, seeming, perhaps, to have second thoughts. But if so, it’s too late. He sits alone with her blood-soaked body, head bowed.

The streets outside. Pullo carries Gaia’s bloody body, unshrouded, though the early morning streets, a grim look on his face. He come to a stagnant body of water, and tosses the body unceremoniously in, turns, and without a backward glance, leaves the body floating there half submerged. Our point of view pulls back from her face as we fade to black and somber credit music plays.

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Next Week: In, sadly, our final installment of Rome, we see quick fading glimpses of all our major characters. Antony and Cleopatra. Octavian. Atia/ Titus Pullo. Lucius Vorenus. “ROME” “THE SEASON FINALE” “Marc Antony has called the dog out” says Antony. “He will put himself and his woman in my hands without conditions” declares Octavian. “THE ROAD TO GLORY” Antony fights. “THE FIGHT FOR SUPREMACY” Ships. Court Scenes. Demands. Cleopatra crawling. “ALL OF ROME HANGS IN THE BALANCE” Antony and Cleopatra. Tears. “These years together have been the happiest of my life.” “Find the children.” “Octavian will kill him.” “No, he’s just a child.” “There can only be one son of Caesar.” A triumph. “THE DRAMATIC SERIES CONCLUSION.” “It’s been a long road we have traveled together.” Another triumph.

Final Score: Slaps - 9, Rough Sex - 3, Happy relationships - 1

- Cecil
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Previous Episode: 2-8F “A Necessary Fiction” - Full Review

Next Episode: 2-10F “De Patre Vostro” (About Your Father)

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Previously: The gold is stolen / Octavian chooses a new wife / Pullo shouts for a doctor / The world’s coldest supper / Octavia shamed / Antony banished / Octavia & Agrippa say goodbye / Antony & Atia say goodbye / Octavian informs his intended of his sexual proclivities / Vorenus confronts Vorena the elder / Vorenus resigns and requests to accompany Antony to Egypt / Pullo and the Aventine Collegium fight Memmio and his allies for control / Antony & Cleopatra reunite

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Opening scene.

Vorenus’s bed, Egypt. Vorenus awakens and for a moment imagines himself in bed with Niobe. But it’s only a freaky looking bald-headed Egyptian whore with a bad temper and worse wig.

The streets of Alexandria. Vorenus, dressed in full military gear, makes his way through the crowded streets, past the docks, and to the palace.

The palace in Alexandria. Vorenus encounters Posca, who asks if his “monthly debauch” is finished already. Posca is wearing Egypt eye makeup. (Vorenus isn’t.) “Where is he?” Vorenus asks. “A deep question”. Posca replies. In the throne room with Cleopatra and a delegation from Rome headed by Senator Bibulus. Posca has left because Cleopatra ‘growls at him’ and he fears for his life.

The Throne room. As the delegation from Rome waits and fumes, Antony is giving Cleopatra archery lessons. Antony is made up and dressed as an Egyptian. Their target is a man in a stag’s pelt, crawling about and simulating the prey. The lesson is punctuated with kisses. Cleopatra takes a turn. Her first shot breaks an urn, angering her.

The delegation try to continue negotiations, offering double the price for grain, if it can be delivered within the month. “Triple” says Cleopatra angry over missing another shot. “And Carthage, annexed to Antony’s control.” “Perhaps.” More quibbling over Octavian’s motivation. ‘Love of the people’ says the senator. Antony says the people love him, not Octavian. “Right, Vorenus?” “Right” says an obedient Vorenus. The agreement apparently completed, the delegation bows to leave, but Antony adds “And Spain.” As the senator sputters, Cleopatra makes her final shot – right through the unarmored neck of the victim. Her audience applauds as the ‘stag’ expires on the floor of the throne room. ‘Too bad, no deal, pleasant voyage home, boys.’ And Antony and Cleopatra exit over the body of their target. Vorenus orders the body of the target removed and offers to show the delegation to their quarters. “Is he always like that?” “Like what?” Vorenus laconically replies.

Antony & Cleopatra’s private quarters. The lovers discuss the conversation. Antony’s convinced that Octavian will not declare war. Cleopatra suggests Antony declare war first. Antony’s angling for political effect, however and wants the onus of war to be on Octavian, so he can return to Rome as a savior. They are interrupted by their children, Helios and Isile.

Aventine Collegium, Pullo’s quarters. Gaia and Pullo are in bed – the sound of an angry mob awakens them. Pullo dresses as Gaia pouts. They engage in a little lovers’ talk, but Pullo must be off.

Outside. Pullo makes his way through the mob and climbs to speak on a balcony. Mascius hobbles into the crowd on crutches as Pullo speaks. Speaking plainly and simply Pullo explains the day’s ration is gone, and if he opened the granaries as the crowd wants, they’d be satisfied today, but starving tomorrow. The crowd apparently realizes he’s making sense and disperses. After the speech Mascius and Pullo exchange a few friendly words as the Vorenus children approach. Pullo chides them for coming out in a dangerous situation, but Vorena the elder says ‘blessed Urbona would protect them’. "Then run along and ask her to send a few grain ships," Pullo comes back. We see that little Lucius is now played by yet a third actor, and is more like young Lucius.

Inside the granary. Pullo asks how much grain is left. “Ten days at a quarter ration.” Mascius says the bakers were around earlier. Offering “six hundred a sack”. Pullo ‘pisses on the offer’. He drops a fragment of food onto a cage in the corner, and we discover that tongue-less Memmio, hairy as a Gaul, is being kept in a cage in the Aventine Collegium as an object lesson to anyone else who would think of revolting against Pullo. Memmio seem to be insane. Pullo calls for his best clothes and says he’s going to see “his honor”.

Octavian’s offices. Pullo explains the situation before Octavian, Maecenas, and Agrippa. Maecenas makes jokes, but Agrippa comes up with a serious proposal – send three legions to Africa and let Lepidus feed them, which would extend the city’s grain supply by a month. “Let it be done,’ Octavian commands. Pullo turns to leave, but Octavian stops him to ask what the people are saying. Pullo responds honestly but tactfully that the people blame Octavian, not Antony. Octavian thanks Pullo, who departs. After he leaves, three discuss tactics. Octavian thinks they cannot declare war on Antony unless the people are with them, which is not yet the case. Octavian sends for Atia and Octavia to come to dinner.

Atia’s villa. Grandma Atia picks up her granddaughter Antonia, who Octavia is looking for. Octavia grouses that Antonia doesn’t listen to a word she says. Atia observed that that’s just like Octavia was as a child, whereas Octavian was ‘no trouble at all’. Atia is looking, as every day, for a letter from Antony, which never comes. Atia still expects Antony to send for her. “Even if he did,” Octavia asks, “do you think Octavian would let you go?” Castor informs them that Octavian has summonsed them to dinner.

Octavian’s dining room. Another cold dinner as Octavian observes “nothing like dining with family and friends.” Octavian requests Octavia go to Egypt and ask her husband to free up the grain shipments. Octavia says Atia should go instead. Octavian suggests they go together. Atia responds coolly to the suggestion and asks ‘what’s in it for us?’ Octavian more or less invites them to name their price. Atia says she’s tired of Pompeii, perhaps a villa in Capri? And Octavia? A villa would be nice, and perhaps some gladiators as well? But finally they decide on plain cash. Octavian agrees and tells Maecenas to have the newsreader announce it.

Octavian’s bedroom. Octavian and Livia engage in some vigorous, and sadomasochistic sex. But unlike his previous discussion, Octavian seems to be on the receiving end of the violence. Which apparently suits him just fine. Livia seems to have adapted to the new lifestyle quite well. As they lie gasping afterwards, Livia makes some irrelevant observations about birds and eggs. But then the conversation turns to Octavian’s motivation for sending Octavia and Atia to Egypt, and we see that Livia has a strategic mind to equal Octavian’s. Perhaps he married better than he thought. She reasons that Octavian wins either way – either Antony publicly turns away and humiliates his wife, leading to loss of face with the Roman public, or he acquiesces and Octavian gets his grain.

A ship in the Mediterranean. Atia paces as Octavia feels sick. Atia wonders if she’s changed since Antony saw her last. Octavia sarcastically says no she’s the same as she always was, and Antony will ‘fall into your arms in a delirium of love.’ Atia says Octavia has changed, become mean and bitter. Octavia says Atia has become ‘girlish and sentimental.’ A servant’s retching makes Octavia feel worse. “Land ho!” And we see the ship glide into the Alexandria harbor.

The palace in Alexandria. As Vorenus watches, Caesarion plays a game of ball. The game consists of throwing a hard ball at a cringing servitor. Caesarion changes the rules as suits him. Tiring of the game, he dismisses the servant and plays a bit of catch with Vorenus. He asks Vorenus to ‘tell me about my father’. Vorenus discusses “his father” in terms that seemingly could apply to either Caesar or Pullo. But finally when he comes to the topic of eating it seems he’s describing Pullo, not Caesar, though Caesarion doesn’t realize this. Posca dashes into the room asking “where are they?”

The bedroom: Antony and Cleopatra are in bed, Posca telling them that Atia’s ship is in the harbor already. Antony and Cleopatra discuss the meaning of the unexpected visit. Antony seems to realize Octavian’s strategy of forcing Antony to choose between Atia and Cleopatra, thus striking at Antony’s support among the people if he turns away Atia, which, he assures Cleopatra, he will. Cleopatra proposes ‘throwing a lovely party’ but Antony vetoes this. Antony says he no longer loves Atia, but doesn’t want to publicly humiliate her, which to Atia is the whole point – that’s why Atia is there. OK, Cleopatra proposes, as an alternate, let’s kill them, thus no humiliation and a message to Octavian. Or their ship can have a ‘little accident on the way home, happens all the time.’ But Antony does still have some feelings, and responds angrily to the proposal. Cleopatra begins to escalate the argument to crockery throwing, but Antony easily dodges.

The harbor. A stately procession, as Atia and Octavia are carried in shaded sedan chairs toward the palace by slaves. The procession stops at the palace door, which is not open.

Inside. The fight is still on as hair is pulled and ears bitten.

Outside. Atia and Octavia swelter in the hot sun and grouse about the impolite reception. The door opens a crack, and an Egyptian maiden slips out. She speaks – it’s Jocasta in full black wig, and Egyptian eye makeup. “Her majesty doesn’t like the Roman style, she explains.” She asks then why they are there, and Atia wonders where their reception is, and asks Jocasta to go and fetch Antony, which Jocasta explains she can’t do, as no one is allowed to speak to Antony without Cleopatra’s approval, excepting only Posca and Lucius Vorenus. Posca comes out of the palace and is horrified to find Jocasta there, makes stammered and incoherent noises at Atia without responding to anything she says, and hustles Jocasta back inside. “They’ve all gone insane!” Atia observes.

Inside. The fight has turned into steamy sex.

Outside. Octavia and Atia steam as well, though not so pleasurably.

Inside. The sex is over and a cat clambers over the lovers. Cleopatra is telling Antony that he’ll “be much more happy when the war begins.” Vorenus enters. Antony tells Vorenus he has a “delicate mission” for him.

Outside. Vorenus comes out to the two travelers accompanied by multiple Nubian guards with weapons. He tells them Antony has ordered him to escort them back to their ship and make sure they leave when the wind allows. If they won’t go peaceably, the men with him will force them. Atia attempts to call Antony out, recalling the scene where Antony called out Atia before leaving Rome. Atia’s calls are more vulgar and to no avail. Atia slaps and strikes Vorenus in frustration, then collapses, crying, before being led off. Octavia tells Vorenus to “tell my husband he’s cowardly scum.”

Inside. Posca and Jocasta are hurriedly packing. Vorenus interrupts “Going somewhere?” Posca says they were merely taking a stroll to the harbor to look at the ships. Jocasta begs him to "please don’t tell, they’ll kill us.” Vorenus, knowing perfectly well what they are doing, says go quickly, “the wind is changing and the ships look best when their sails are set,” “Come with us," Posca says, but Vorenus declines, citing his duty. “If you happen to see Titus Pullo, ask him to kiss my children for me.”

The streets. Posca and Jocasta slip out and head for the harbor.

The ship. Atia lies disconsolate. Posca and Jocasta enter and request asylum.

The Palace. Vorenus and Caesarion are talking again, and Caesarion presses for more details about his father. “Look to yourself,” Vorenus says. “You are what remains of him.” Antony appears and asks how his mission went. “They’re gone.” “Good, good.” “Atia take it with her usual poise?” “No” “And where is Posca?” “I don’t know, sir, do you want me to go and look for him?” “No.” “Sir, your wife instructed me to tell you that you are cowardly scum.” “She did, did she? And what’s your opinion of that.” “It’s not my place to have an opinion, sir.” “Tell me anyway.” “Is that an order?” “Yes.” “You’re no coward. But you do have a strong disease in your soul. A disease that will eat away at you, until you die.” “Really?” (sighs) “And what is this disease?” “I don’t know, I’m not a doctor.” “No you’re not, so how can you be so sure of your diagnosis, then?” “I recognize your symptoms. I have the same sickness.” Antony sighs again and departs. Cicero and Caesarion return to playing catch.

Long shot of the hills of Rome. In his offices, Octavian receives Atia and Posca. Atia opens the discussion with a rousing slap. Fortunately, Octavian doesn’t take this as foreplay. “Hello, mother” he says calmly. He says he wished for a better outcome. Atia says Posca has something that will help him destroy Antony. The something is Antony and Cleopatra’s last will and testament, which Posca says is genuine. Maecenas take it from Posca and reads. The provisions are (1) Antony to be buried in Alexandria, (2) Cleopatra is his wife and they are living gods, Isis and Osiris (3) to his children by Cleopatra he leaves all the eastern provinces, and (4) Caesarion is to be given Rome and the west.

The forum square. The town crier dude reads the shocking terms of Antony’s will. “He worships dogs and reptiles. He blackens his eyes with soot like a prostitute. He dances and plays the cymbals in vile Nileotic rites.” Oh no, not the cymbals! This is too much! Ian McNiece is in fine form.

The Senate. Octavian details Antony’s excesses and maintains there is no course but “to fight and destroy him”, to the applause of the senators.

Later. Alone in the senate, Octavian receives Pullo accompanied by Posca. He asks Pullo to accompany him to Egypt, possibly to act as intermediary with Vorenus. He hopes to avoid fighting if possible, but Antony and Caesarion, he says, will have to die. Mention of Caesarion gives Pullo some pause, but Pullo agrees. Posca delivers Vorenus’s message to Pullo.

The Aventine Collegium, outside. Pullo is explaining his trip to the children. Lyde is present as well. He tells them he may see their father. Vorena the elder refuses, Vorena the younger and young Lucius reluctantly accept kisses on the forehead. “Can I give him kisses from you?” He asks. “No” says young Lucius, which I believe is his first spoken word, perhaps even sound, in this long saga – 21 hours and three actors in. “He killed our mother.” “It’s true isn’t it?” Vorena the elder asks. Instead of disputing, Pullo responds “You’re a hard one, you.” “My father made me so.” “I hear you.”

Egypt. Vorenus lies alone at night, eyes wide.

Aventine Collegium. Pullo gives instruction for his absence. No stealing, skimming from the grain ration, extortion, robbery or arson. But aren’t most of these their normal activities? “Unless under direct license by Mascius.” Oh, OK, then. “Anybody steps out of line they’ll be sharing their dinner with Memmio." Who, named, grabs insanely at the bars of his cage.

Later, alone with Gaia. Pullo is packing. Gaia wants to go. “It’s a war, not a shopping trip” Pullo says. Pullo goes out to the tavern area for a late snack. Looking around idly, he notices Memmio’s cage is open, the lock picked with a bit of bone. Alert, he picks up a knife from the table and begins looking and calling Memmio’s name. Memmio appears behind him and clubs him unconscious. He kneels over Pullo's unconscious body and slaps his cheeks. He wants Pullo to see the knife coming. Before he can plunge the knife into Pullo’s heart, Gaia appears and struggles with him. In the struggle, Memmio knifes Gaia, but she manages to beat his brains out with a metal jug before collapsing.

The bedroom. Once again the doctor and priestess are in attendance as Pullo frets over a lover bleeding to death. “Not again, why me?” he wails. “You selfish bastard,” Gaia says between gritted teeth, “It’s me dying not you. It’s me being punished.” In her pain, Pullo holding her hand and sobbing, Gaia says she can’t go to the afterlife with lies in her heart. “Nemesis won’t let me pass.” “What lies?” Pullo asks. She asks him to send the attendants away, then when they’re gone asks Pullo to “Remember, when I’m gone, what I did, I did out of love for you.” Finally she confesses to poisoning Eirene. The news takes a while to sink in on Pullo, but when it does his fingers close on her throat. “Goodbye, love” she says, with literally her last breath. Pullo’s fingers tighten and his eyes grow hard as he increases the pressure, shortening Gaia’s life by a few minutes. As she expires, he gasps and draws back, seeming, perhaps, to have second thoughts. But if so, it’s too late. He sits alone with her blood-soaked body, head bowed.

The streets outside. Pullo carries Gaia’s bloody body, unshrouded, though the streets, a grim look on his face. He come to a stagnant body of water, and tosses the body unceremoniously in, turns, and without a backward glance leaves the body floating there half submerged. Our point of view pulls back from her face as we fade to black and somber credit music plays.

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Next Week: In, sadly, our final installment of Rome, we see quick fading glimpses of all our major characters. “ROME” “The Season Finale” “Marc Antony has called the dog out” says Antony. “He will put himself and his woman in my hands without conditions” declares Octavian. “The Road to Glory” Antony fights. “The Fight for Supremacy” Ships. Court Scenes. Demands.” All of Rome Hangs in the Balance” Antony and Cleopatra. Tears. “Find the children.” "No, he’s just a child.” “There can only be one son of Caesar.” A triumph. “The Dramatic Series Conclusion.”

- Cecil

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Full Review now available, HERE.

Previous Capsule: 2-8C “A Necessary Fiction” - Capsule Review

Next Capsule: 2-10C “De Patre Vostro” (About Your Father) coming Mar 25
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Click here for complete "Rome" broadcast schedule, including reshow days, times, and HBO Channel

Previously: Herod escapes death, Levi does not. Thug 2 and Vorena the elder snuggle, Pullo and Eirene snuggle, Memmio pulls his sting, Gaia visits an apothecary, Antony and Octavia wed.

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Opening scene.

A lecture hall? The triumvirate? Octavian lectures a group of Roman matrons on the morality he wishes to restore to Rome. He makes the point that virtuous women are the backbone of Rome, civilizing the men. His words are contrasted with scenes of his mother making love to his brother-in-law, his sister making love out of wedlock, Vorenus’s slave buying a potion to kill her rival, and another woman selling it to her. “It is the women of Rome, like the she-wolf that suckled Romulus and Remus, who have raised a nation of wise statesmen, and invincible warriors.” He says he intends to enact laws that reward fertility and sanctity in marriage, and severely punish adultery, promiscuity and vice of all kinds.

After the lecture, Octavian strolls with Maecenas. Maecenas lauds the speech and says “They bought it, wholesale.” But Octavian insists he meant every word. They discuss Maecenas’s search for a suitable bride for Octavian. Maecenas points out lovely Livia, who is young, comely, and of suitable nobility. Of course, she’s already married with a small son, Tiberius, but both agree this will be no great impediment, and indeed, as we saw in Octavia’s case in season one, it will not be. Maecenas presents Livia and her mother, Alfidia, to Octavian. With no preliminary chat at all, Octavian springs the question, the question being “How would you like to be married to me?” Livia and her mother gasp with surprise and delight. “I… would like that, sir.” Social climbers, both. Told that her husband is Claudius Nero, Octavian remarks that they are a patriotic family and would not stand in the way of a divorce. "See to the details,” he commands Maecenas as they stroll off.

Alone again, Octavian and Maecenas discuss security problems with the shipment of gold that’s coming in from Herod at the Ostian docks. Maecenas has been talking to Pullo. No problem, Octavian decides, the Aventine Collegium is allied with both himself and Antony, so there will be no funny business.

The streets. Timon and family are leaving Rome, and discuss excitedly their new life in Jerusalem. “Will Uncle Levi be there?” his daughter asks. “Maybe,” Timon replies. Timon is pulling a heavy cart heaped high. I hope he’s pulling it to a ship, and not planning to walk all the way to Jerusalem with it.

Elsewhere in the streets. Posca and Jocasta are shopping. Posca is indulging his young wife in jewelry, and sends Jocasta into a shop to buy an item. “Take your time,” he says. Across the street, he pokes his head into a garish – what is the name, please, for these canopied ‘rooms’ carried about by slaves? A brief net search turns up the possibilities of sedan chair, litter, and palanquin. Maecenas calls it a litter. His “third best” litter, in fact, in response to Posca asking why he didn’t use something “more discreet”.

Anyway, Posca pokes his head in the curtains, and we see Maecenas relaxing with a boy and girl hugging each other across from him. Posca declines to discuss their business in front of the lovers. Maecenas says they don’t understand a word. Posca says “The lower orders understand more than you think.” Former slave, he should know. The boy and girl are dismissed and Posca crawls in. They discuss the details of their plan to intercept the bribe money. Maecenas seems to be taking the matter lightly, and Posca reminds him that if Antony or Octavian discover what they’ve done, they both will die most unpleasantly. Their plan is to extract a portion, a commission really, of the gold while they are alone with the shipment after its delivery to the temple of Saturn. Further conversation is cut short as Jocasta bursts in, all suspicious. “I thought sure my husband was intriguing with an actress, or some such trollop.” Right. In the May-December marriages it’s December that strays. Right.

The Aventine Collegium. Pullo, Vorenus, and Mascius discuss the shipment of gold due tomorrow, and the secret route the gold will take. He’s told Antony and Octavian that it’ll go by river, so naturally they’ll go by road, to avoid any leaks at the Antony/Octavian end. “No one must know what this shipment contains,” Vorenus says. “I’ll use Yesh and his boys, they’re reliable, they don’t ask any questions,” Mascius says. Vorenus, however, places Pullo in charge of the detail, which upsets Mascius. Vorenus says it’s not for lack of trust in Mascius, but because Octavian and Antony both trust Pullo. Mascius says he understands, but clearly is upset as he leaves the room, past Vorena the elder sweeping the floor on her knees just outside the door.

The Aventine tavern. As Mascius stalks past, Gaia serves a cup of tea to Eirene. Don’t drink it, Eirene! She does. Gaia pauses across the room to watch her take the drink. Cut to nighttime in the Aventine – Pullo is running about in a panic asking someone!, anyone! to fetch a doctor, “There’s blood!” The doctor comes, along with a chanting priestess, but they can do nothing. The priestess spews a liquid from her mouth across Eirene’s body, and rubs an herb on her forehead, while the doctor washes up and shakes his head. In her final moments, Eirene asks Pullo to bury her, as is the custom of her people, not burn her as the Romans do. “Not burning, put me in black shroud and bury me,” Eirene pleads, “in an open field, no trees.” And she asks if her child was a boy or girl. A boy. Pullo doesn’t want hear this talk of dying, but Eirene knows better and insists on his promise, and dies.

The street. Gaia casts a glance sideways as Pullo carries a small black-shrouded figure through the streets, followed by Vorenus.

A burial, on a hill with a view. Pullo and Vorenus dig a grave on an open hillside. Pullo makes a moving burial speech which testifies to his love for her. We learn that she came from “somewhere beyond the Rhine”, and her original name was Adella. Pullo vows to dedicate his life to the gods, if they in return will look after Eirene and their boy in the afterlife, and make them happy.

A shrine-lined road, nighttime. We see Mascius and a group of men on horseback carrying torches and warily making their way with the treasure wagon.

Aventine Collegium. Vorenus and Pullo sit waiting. A servant reports to Vorenus – “It’s Mascius, sir, there’s trouble.” Mascius is laid on a table, badly wounded, a doctor working on his injuries. He says they were ambushed just before they got to the Ostian gate, by a group of armed men, and had no chance. Only Mascius and one other survived. He tells the tale between cries and grunts as the doctor works on him. The gold is gone. Asked if he knows who they were, Mascius says “No, they were good, though, they didn’t give us a chance. And brother, they were waiting for us.”

Vorenus orders that his men spread out, cover the city, pay coin, torture, kill if necessary, but “find out who did this.” When we saw this last week on the previews, I thought it was referring to the poisoning of Eirene. But apparently Gaia’s getting off scott free on that one. Now an ugly possibility suggests itself. Was Gaia’s motivation purely personal, or was it a way of getting Pullo off the guard detail? I guess we shall see. Vorenus orders Gaia to look after Pullo. “ How ironic!” as Superman used to say in the old DC comics.

The triumvirate. Vorenus appears and reports he has not found the gold, but will. Asked why Pullo was not on the shipment, Vorenus explains about his wife having just died. Maecenas is very skeptical about the ‘convenience’ of this. . The triumvirs and Maecenas discuss the loss of the gold. Antony suspects Maecenas or Lepidus. Maecenas accuses Antony of having something to do with it, since Vorenus was his man. Octavian asks Vorenus if one of his own men could be responsible. “Anything is possible,” Vorenus replies, “but I doubt it.” Because? “They are scared of me.” Antony reminds him of his responsibility, and that he (Vorenus) knows the consequences of failure. Vorenus leaves. Lepidus suddenly come up with alternate suspects. “Gauls – they breed like rabbits, you know, no notion of working, thieves, the lot of them.” He finds he’s talking to himself, Antony and Octavian have left. After Lepidus leaves as well, Posca and Maecenas are alone, each accusing the other of pulling a double cross and taking the gold for himself.

Memmio’s den. Vorenus visits. One thug has sex with a whore on the table, and Thug 2 (whose name, we learn, is Omnipor) is fondling another woman – thankfully not Vorena the elder. Still another thug knocks on Memmio’s door. As it swings open we see him indulging in a little strangulation sex with yet another chippy. “Brother Vorenus, welcome, sit, have some wine,” he invites, shooing the copulating couple off the table.

“You, uh, celebrating something?” Vorenus asks on seeing the festive mood. "No, we’re just sort of happy people," Memmio replies. “Property of mine was stolen on the Ostian Way last night.” Vorenus asserts. “What sort of property?” Memmio asks. “State property.” Memmio denies having anything to do with the robbery. “Makes us all look bad. Wasn’t us, was it?” he asks Omnipor. “State property, us?” Omnipor responds as he hands the woman in his lap a stick and wicker figure. “Nah, we wouldn’t dare.” “My advice, look to your own people, this kind of affair is nearly always someone close,” Memmio says. After Vorenus leaves, Memmio tells Omnipor to fetch Cotta, Acerbo, and the other captains for a little coup plotting.

The triumvirate. Maecenas talks with Octavian. It bothers Maecenas that Octavian is not more concerned about the money. Octavian is of the easy come, easy go persuasion, but Maecenas says it is a “gross personal insult” to Octavian. Unable to convince Octavian that Antony was behind the robbery, Maecenas accuses Antony of disrespect, i.e. continuing to sleep with Octavian’s mother while married to his sister. And water is wet and fire is hot, Maecenas. Octavian doesn’t believe Antony would disrespect him like that. Based exactly on what, we wonder? Maecenas also hints at Octavia’s indiscretions with Agrippa. Octavian summonses all members of the family to a little discussion and a sit-down dinner.

Memmio’s den. Memmio talks to the other captains, His message: Time to put an end to Vorenus. The captains figure that means Memmio conducted the robbery. Memmio begs the question for a moment and continues to ask for their cooperation. When it looks like they may leave, Memmio says ”I didn’t expect you to help me out of brotherly love.” Omnipor uncovers and opens a chest full of gold coins and Memmio begins throwing them to the assembled captains, who scramble like children under a birthday piñata.

Octavian’s chambers. Octavian and Livia sit alone. She takes his hand. As Octavian speaks, his hand tightens until it's causing her pain, but he continues, oblivious or uncaring. He’s discussing the upcoming marriage with Livia, and asks a strange question. “Does your husband ever beat you?” “No, sir, I have never given him reason to do so.” “Your father, perhaps?” “No, sir.” That’s good, Octavian says, it means you were a dutiful wife and daughter. One little thing. “You should know that when we are married, I shall, on occasion, beat you. With my hand or a light whip. When I do so, you must not think you have offended me, I do it because it gives me sexual pleasure. Just remember that, and don’t be upset.” “Yes, sir.” Ewwwww. I think we see now why Max Pirkis had to make way for a new actor. Livia is social climber enough, and Roman enough, that she takes this revelation without comment. Maecenas breaks in to say “They’re all here.”

Octavian’s dining room. The whole family, and family-to-be, and family-that-might-have-been are here. Antony, Atia, Octavia, Agrippa, Livia, and Maecenas. Octavian introduces Livia to the family, saying he wants her to see the family she’s marrying into. Octavian begins by telling Octavia that she has betrayed him. Antony jumps in “Remember, colleague, you are talking about my wife!” “Your wife in name only,” Octavian responds, “I believe my mother performs the wifely duties.” Octavian details his grievances – Antony has continued to sleep with Atia, Octavia is sleeping with Agrippa all while Octavian has been preaching morality to the Romans. Antony denies everything, but Agrippa admits to the charges. “What it it’s true?” Antony chides, “What are you going to do about it? You can do nothing.”

Octavian says he shall send ‘his women’ to their house under guard, whereas he banishes Antony to the eastern provinces, telling him if he (Octavian) spreads the news about Antony’s philandering and being cuckolded, Antony will be “a figure of fun”, and “the proles will laugh at you in the street, your soldiers will mock you behind your back.” Antony, is livid, the veins threatening to jump from his neck and forehead – he grabs Octavian by the throat, but Octavian stares him down and Antony is beaten and speechless. Another scene where Max Pirkis would have been at a disadvantage. Antony leaves. Octavia, in parting, tells Livia “it was nice to meet you. Take care. You’re marrying a monster.”

Soldiers bar Atia and Octavia’s way until Octavian commands Maecenas to escort them and see they arrive safely. On the way out, Atia tells Maecenas “It was you who told him, wasn’t it. I always knew you were a weasel.” “I wish I could apologize, madam, but it was my duty.” “You’ve done your master a terrible disservice. Now he has no family at all”.

Left alone together, Agrippa apologizes to Octavian, and says it was all his fault, not Octavia’s. Octavian tells Agrippa he will not banish him, he needs him in Rome. Agrippa leaves. Livia takes all this in rather coolly. She’ll fit right in.

Left alone with the feast, Octavian tells her, “You should try one of the stuffed songbirds, my cook does them particularly well.” Silently, she picks one up and bites off the head, beak and all. Yep, right in.

The Aventine. Pullo is morose. Vorenus asks Gaia if he’s eaten anything. No. Nor drunk anything for two days. Vorenus pours him a glass of water and orders him to drink. Pullo and Vorenus discuss the robbery. Only Mascius and Zeno survived. Pullo says it was most likely Memmio and Vorenus agrees. But who tipped him off? Vorenus says Memmio all but said it was someone inside the Vorenus organization. Mascius, they both think. Vorenus finds it hard to credit. Pullo picks up his knife and heads for the door. “No one’s a traitor until they are.”

They go to see the wounded Mascius, lying on a cot with a pillow. As they question Mascius with more and more ominous questions, Vorena the younger chases little Lucius though the room, crying “Give it back!” After they’re gone, Pullo approaches Mascius for more ‘questioning’ with a wicked looking knife. The children run through again and this time Vorenus confiscates the object of contention, shouting at the children to stay in their quarters. Pullo approaches Mascius with the knife, but just before Mascius can be filleted, Vorenus glances at the object in his hand, a straw and wicker figure. He’s seen someone with one of these before. Vorenus puts two and together, smells a rat, and stops Pullo.

Vorenus goes to the children’s quarters and asks little Lucius where he got the figure. This leads him to the chest under Vorena the elder’s bed, in the room where Vorena sits spinning thread. The secrets unravel fast. Vorena tries to maintain she bought the objects, but this doesn’t stand before Vorenus’s angry glare. Vorena cops to spying for Memmio. Asked why she betrayed him, Vorena spills it all out. "Yes, I betrayed you, and I was glad to do it!.” “Why?” “You killed my mother, you cursed us to Hades, you made me a f***ing whore! And you ask why? Because I hate you. I hate you. We all hate you. I wish you were dead!” Vorenus strikes his daughter. She pulls a small knife. “Go ahead, try and kill me like you did my mother – I’ll not go easy.” Vorenus tries to explain what he should have much earlier – that he didn’t kill her mother. “Liar,” Vorena exclaims, “she never loved you!” Vorenus starts to choke her, and might have completed the act but is checked by a quiet “Vorenus” from Pullo, with a nod to the two other children looking on. Vorenus releases her and leaves. Pullo hugs the sobbing Vorena.

The forum. The Town Crier Dude announces that Mark Antony will be leaving to govern the Egypt and the eastern provinces from Alexandria. Also that tomorrow the house of Rufus will be selling a fine selection of slaves, from compliant virgins to learned Greeks, for all budgets. (I was afraid that we’d see Vorena the elder in this auction but it didn’t happen.)

The street outside Atia’s house. Mark Antony marches up, announced by his lictors, but his entrance to the house is barred by a stern, tough-looking centurian and a squad of soldiers with orders not to admit anyone. A lictor asks Antony “Shall we use force?”, and I’m thinking that they’d take a lot longer to get those axes out of their bundles of sticks than it would take the soldiers to draw a sword. Antony, however, demurs, and shouts “Atia” at the top of his lungs. For a minute I have visions of a torn t-shirt and a shouted “Stella!”, but Atia appears at the door and my reverie is burst. The Centurian won’t let Atia out, either, but with a quiet word from Antony promising “We just want to talk. Don’t push me to violence, centurian”, he relents and lets Antony approach, though still with a squad of soldiers separating him from Atia.

Antony tells her he is leaving Rome. “Goodbye, then,” Atia replies, a little coldly. But she warms when Antony says he’ll send for her, “when the time comes”. She pushes him to say when, but Antony can’t say for sure. She asks him to “Promise”, and Antony vows “On my life, I promise.” He kisses her hand and they part.

Antony’s offices. Clerks are burning papers as Antony and Posca supervise. No sense leaving any incriminating evidence behind. Vorenus enters and Antony wants to know if he’s found ‘his’ gold yet. No, Vorenus says, but he knows where it is, and Pullo will get it. He asks permission to accompany Antony to Egypt, saying he’s resigned his post in the Aventine, and needs to leave Rome for personal reasons. Antony, at first angered, is moved by the depth of Vorenus’s emotion, and decides he could use a loyal man and agrees to take him. “You won’t turn to drink will you? You stoic types often do, when disappointed in life.” Vorenus assures him he won’t. Been there, done that, got the angry daughter.

Outside. Pullo meets Vorenus and asks what Antony said. “We sail tomorrow,” Vorenus responds. Pullo asks if Vorenus is coming home to say goodbye. No. Pullo tells him “Vorena’s got your blood in her, doesn’t forgive easy.” Vorenus says “It’s best this way,” and charges Pullo to take good care of his children. “Tell them I tried.” “Gods protect you, brother.” “And you, brother.” A hearty man-hug and a kiss on both cheeks from Pullo and the two friends part, Vorenus pauses a few yards away, and turns for a last look at a sad-eyed Pullo.

Atia’s house. Guards outside. Atia tells a morose Octavia that there’s a ‘surprise’ for her in the kitchen. Finally prodded to go, she finds Agrippa there. She proposes running away together. “I would go with you to Hades, to Britain even, if I thought we had the right. We don’t,” Agrippa says. Rather, he says, he’s there to say goodbye – not that they won’t be seeing each other in the future, but that he’s breaking off the relationship out of loyalty to Octavian. She accuses Agrippa of loving the power her brother confers on him more than he loves her, and of being a coward to boot. As a parting shot, she tells him she’s having a baby. “Who is the father?” he asks. "Who knows? Neither man is worth a brass obol, so what matter?"

The Aventine market. A hawk swallows a mouse whole. Foreshadowing? The market is full of plebs buying and selling, carrying sacks of grain, and doing all the stuff contented plebs do. But armed men begin filling the square from opposite sides. Pullo’s there, and he’s got all his armor on, though no helmet. Mascius is there, sword on his shoulder, bandage on his head. Even Gaia is there, with a wicked lance in her hands. Memmio’s collegium even has a standard. Memmio is carrying an axe. The armament is various, including a large number of clubs. The clamor dies down, and the plebs make tracks, leaving the square to the opposing groups.

“Titus Pullo, parley,” Memmio calls out. Memmio steps out and makes a little speech, smarm dripping from his lips, saying he knows Pullo is a reasonable man, not like that madman Vorenus. You and me can do business, he says. Pullo and Memmio step out from their groups, approach each other, and eventually clasp arms. Memmio smiles and gives a little chuckle as Pullo cocks his head.
Pullo head-butts him, then kisses him.
Full mouth kisses him.
Full mouth tongue-sucking kisses him.
Full mouth, tongue-sucking-and-biting-off kisses him.
Blood erupts from Memmio's mouth and he collapses to the ground, while Pullo spits the tongue on his prostrate form. Pullo grabs Memmio’s axe and throws it ‘kerchunk’ into Omnipor’s chest. General fighting erupts, with stabbing and bludgeoning galore. Gaia lances some baddies. Pullo retrieves the axe and swings it wildly like a crazed German. Someone is calling “stand fast, don’t run you cowards” as others flee, and we think Pullo’s group is winning, though we don’t actually see it as there’s a swift cut to…

Alexandria, Egypt. Cleopatra’s court. Antony enters (Posca and Jocasta trailing behind) and approaches the throne, but Cleopatra’s not there – Caesarion is there, playing ball with attendants. Instead, we hear her call “Antony” from off to the side, and she approaches. (Guess she remembers him, now.) “Cleopatra” he says. Fade to Egypty sounding credit music.

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Next Week: Pullo is speaking to a crowd. “I know you’re hungry.” “People are starving,” a senator tells Antony. “No deal” Antony replies wearing weird Egyptian eye makeup, as a brass-bra’ed Cleopatra practices her archery on human targets. Cleopatra and Antony have rough sex. Posca and Jocasta hurry through the streets. Vorenus dons a helmet. “ONLY TWO EPISODES LEFT” Octavian wants Octavia to talk to somebody. Cleopatra proposes killing Atia (channeling Servilia?). “AS THE HUNGRY POWERS COLLIDE” Someone is handing Vorenus “a delicate mission.” Atia slaps Vorenus. “THE STAGE IS SET” Cleopatra tells Antony “You are a coward!” and throws crockery. Someone else accuses “You are no longer a Roman.” Octavian says “Fight him.” “FOR THE BEGINNING OF THE END” “And destroy him.” Pullo’s eye open wide. A knife is pulled. Antony nibbles on Cleopatra’s shoulder. Cleopatra slaps Antony. I swear some of these things are a single frame. Whew. See you next week.

- Cecil

Previous Episode: Rome: 2-7F “Death Mask” - Full Review”

Next Episode: Rome: 2-9F “Deus Impeditio Esuritori Nullus (No God Can Stop a Hungry Man)”

Click here for complete "Rome" broadcast schedule, including reshow days, times, and HBO Channel

Previously: Herod escapes death, Levi does not. Thug 2 and Vorena the elder snuggle, Pullo and Eirene snuggle, Memmio pulls his sting, Gaia visits an apothecary, Antony and Octavia wed.

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Opening scene.

A lecture hall? The triumvirate? Octavian lectures a group of Roman matrons on the morality he wishes to restore to Rome. He makes the point that virtuous women are the backbone of Rome. He says he intends to reward fertility and punish adultery and immorality. His words are contrasted with scenes of his mother making love to his brother-in-law.

After the lecture, Octavian strolls with Maecenas and they discuss Maecenas’s search for a suitable bride for Octavian. Maecenas points out lovely Livia, who is young, comely, and of suitable nobility. Of course, she’s already married with a small son, Tiberius, but both agree this will be no great impediment, and indeed, as we saw in Octavia’s case in season one, it will not be. Maecenas presents Livia and her mother, Alphidia, to Octavian. After a minimum of chat, Octavian springs the question, the question being “How would you like to be married to me?” Only slightly taken aback, Livia responds positively. Little social climber.

Alone again, Octavian and Maecenas discuss security problems with the shipment of gold that’s coming in from Herod. No problem, Octavian’s best man, Vorenus will handle it.

The streets. Timon and family are leaving Rome, and discuss excitedly their new life in Jerusalem.

Elsewhere in the streets. Posca and Jocasta are shopping. Posca is indulging his young wife, and sends her into a shop to buy an item. “Take your time,” he says. Across the street, he pokes his head into a garish – what is the name, please, for these canopied ‘rooms’ carried about by slaves? Anyway, Posca pokes his head in the curtains, and we see Maecenas relaxing with a boy and girl hugging each other across from him. The boy and girl are dismissed and Posca crawls in. They discuss the details of their plan to intercept the bribe money. Maecenas seems to be taking the matter lightly, and Posca reminds him that if Antony or Octavian discover what they’ve done they both will die most unpleasantly.

The Aventine Collegium. Pullo, Vorenus, and Mascius discuss the shipment of gold due tomorrow, and the secret route the gold will take. Vorenus places Pullo in charge of the detail, which upsets Mascius.

The Aventine tavern. Gaia serves a cup of tea to Eirene. Don’t drink it, Eirene! She does. Cut to nighttime in the Aventine – Pullo is running about in a panic asking someone, anyone! to fetch a doctor, “She’s bleeding!” The doctor comes, along with a chanting priestess, but they can do nothing. In her final moments, Eirene asks Pullo to bury her as is the custom of her people, not burn her as the Romans do. And she asks if her child was a boy or girl. A boy. Pullo doesn’t want hear this talk of dying, but Eirene knows better and insists on his promise, and dies.

A burial, on a hill with a view. Pullo makes a moving burial speech which testifies to his love for her. We learn that she came from “somewhere beyond the Rhine”, and her original name was Adella. Pullo vows to dedicate his life to the gods, if they in return will look after Eirene and their boy in the afterlife.

A road. We see Mascius and a group of men warily making their way with the treasure.

Aventine Collegium. A servant reports to Vorenus – trouble with Mascius. Mascius is brought in, badly wounded. He says they were intercepted by a group of armed men, and had no chance. The gold is gone. Asked if he knows who they were, Mascius says ‘no, but they were good and they were waiting for us.’

The triumvirate. The triumvirs and Maecenas discuss the loss of the gold. Maecenas accuses Antony of having something to do with it, since Vorenus was his man. Antony suspects Maecenas or Lepidus. Vorenus appears and reports he has not found the gold, but will. Asked why Pullo was not on the shipment, Vorenus explains about his wife having just died. Antony reminds him of his responsibility, and he (Vorenus) knows the penalty for failure. Lepidus suddenly come up with alternate suspects. “Gauls – they breed like rabbits and they’re all thieves.” After the triumvirs clear out, leaving Posca and Maecenas alone, each accuses the others of pulling a double cross and keeping the gold for themselves.

Memmio’s den. Vorenus visits. ‘Celebrating something?’ he asks on seeing the festive mood. ‘No, we’re just happy people,’ Memmio replies. Memmio denies having anything to do with the robbery. ‘Makes us all look bad,’ and suggests ‘Look to your own people.’ After Vorenus leaves, Memmio tells an underling to fetch Cotta and Ascerbo for a little coup plotting.

The triumvirate. Maecenas talks with Octavian. Maecenas accuses Antony of disrespect, i.e. continuing to sleep with Octavian’s mother while married to his sister. And water is wet and fire is hot, Maecenas. Octavian doesn’t believe Antony would disrespect him like that. Based exactly on what, we wonder? Octavian summonses all members of the family to a little discussion.

Memmio’s den. Memmio talks to the other captains, His message: Time to put an end to Vorenus. The captains figure that means Memmio conducted the robbery. Memmio begs the question for a moment and continues to ask for their cooperation. They look like they may pull out, but Memmio says ”I didn’t expect you to help me out of brotherly love,” and opens a chest and begins tossing gold coins to the assembled captains.

Octavian’s chambers. He’s discussing the upcoming marriage with Livia, and asks a strange question. “Does your husband ever beat you?” “No.” “Did your father ever beat you?” “No, I never gave them any reason to.” That’s good, Octavian says, it means you were a dutiful wife and daughter. One little thing. After their marriage, he will beat her occasionally, he says, with his hands or a small whip. She should not take this personally, he says, its not for any shortcoming of hers but for his own sexual pleasure. Ewwwww. I think we see now why Max Pirkis had to make way for a new actor. Livia is social climber enough, and Roman enough, that she takes this revelation without comment.

Octavian’s chambers, later. The whole family, and family-to-be, and family-might-have-been are here. Antony, Atia, Octavia, Agrippa, Livia, and Maecenas. Octavian introduces Livia to the family, saying he wants her to see the family she’s marrying into. Octavian begins by telling Octavia that she has betrayed him. Antony jumps in “You’re talking about my wife!” Octavian details his grievances – Antony has continued to sleep with Atia, Octavia is sleeping with Agrippa all while Octavian has been preaching morality to the Romans. He banishes Antony to the eastern provinces, telling him if he (Octavian) spreads the news about Antony’s philandering, Antony’s soldiers will no longer obey him. Atia and Octavian he banishes to their households where he will keep them under guard. Antony, livid, grabs Octavian by the throat, but Octavian stares him down and Antony is beaten. Another scene where Max Pirkis would have been at a disadvantage. Octavia, in parting, tells Livia “Nice to have met you. Take care. You’re marrying a monster.” Livia takes all this in rather coolly. Agrippa apologizes to Octavian. Octavian tells Agrippa he will not banish him, he needs him in Rome.

The Aventine. Pullo is morose. Vorenus asks Gaia if he’s eaten anything. No. Pullo and Vorenus discuss the robbery. Only Mascius and one other survived. Pullo says it was most likely Memmio and Vorenus agrees. But who tipped him off? Vorenus says Memmio all but said it was someone inside the Vorenus organization. They go to see the wounded Mascius, lying on a table. As they question Mascius with more and more ominous questions, Vorena the younger chases little Lucius though the room, crying “Give it back!” After they’re gone, Pullo approaches Mascius for more ‘questioning’ with a wicked looking knife. The children run through again and this time Vorenus confiscates the object of contention, shouting at the children to stay in their quarters. Pullo approaches Mascius with the knife, but just before Mascius can be filleted, Vorenus glances at the object in his hand, a straw and wicker figure. He’s seen someone making one of these before. Vorenus puts two and together, smells a rat, and stops Pullo.

Vorenus goes to the children’s quarters and asks little Lucius where he got the figure. This leads him to the chest under Vorena the elder’s bed, and the secrets unravel fast. Vorena tries to maintain she bought the objects, but this doesn’t stand before Vorenus’s angry glare. Vorena cops to spying for Memmio. Asked why she betrayed him, Vorena spills it all out. ‘It was you! – you killed our mother, cursed us to Hades, and made me a whore! And I wish you were dead.’ Vorenus tries to explain what he should have much earlier – that he didn’t kill their mother. “Liar,” Vorena exclaims, “she never loved you!” Vorenus starts to choke her, and might have completed the act but is checked by a quiet “Vorenus” from Pullo. Vorenus releases her and leaves. Pullo hugs the sobbing Vorena.

The forum. The Town Crier Dude announces that Mark Antony will be leaving to govern the eastern provinces. Also that Rupert will be selling a fine selection of slaves for all budgets, tomorrow. (I was afraid that we’d see Vorena the elder in this auction but it didn’t happen.)

The street outside Atia’s house. Mark Antony marches up, announced by his lictors, but his entrance to the house is barred by a stern centurian with orders not to admit anyone. A lictor asks Antony “should we use violence?”, and I’m thinking that they’d take a lot longer to get those axes out of their bundles of sticks than it would take the soldiers to draw a sword. Antony, however, demurs, and shouts “Atia” at the top of his lungs. For a minute I have visions of a torn t-shirt and a shouted “Stella!”, but Atia appears at the door and my reverie is burst. The Centurian won’t let Atia out, either, but with a quiet word from Antony promising ‘talk only’ relents and lets her through.

Antony tells her he is leaving Rome. “Goodbye, then,” Atia replies, a little coldly. But she warms when Antony says he’ll send for her. She pushes him to say when, but Antony can’t say for sure. She asks him to “Promise”, and Antony vows “On my life, I promise.”

Antony’s offices. Clerks are burning papers as Antony and Posca supervise. Vorenus enters and Antony wants to know if he’s found their gold yet. No, Vorenus says, but he knows where it is, and Pullo will get it. He asks permission to accompany Antony to Egypt, saying he’s resigned his post in the Aventine, and needs to leave Rome for personal reasons. Antony decides he could use a loyal man and agrees to take him. “You won’t turn to drink will you? You stoic types often do, when disappointed.” Vorenus assures him he won’t. Been there, done that, got the angry daughter.

Outside. Pullo meets Vorenus and asks what Antony said. “We sail tomorrow,” Vorenus responds. Pullo asks if Vorenus is coming home to say goodbye. No.

Atia’s house. Atia tells a morose Octavia that there’s a ‘surprise’ for her in the kitchen. Finally prodded to go, she finds Agrippa there. She proposes running away together, but he says he’s there to say goodbye – not that they won’t be seeing each other in the future, but that he’s breaking off the relationship out of loyalty to Octavian. She accuses Agrippa of loving the power her brother confers more than he loves her, and of being a coward to boot. As a parting shot, she tells him she’s having a baby. “Whose?” he asks. ‘Who knows or cares?’ she says, ‘neither of the possibilities are worth a brass obol.’

The Aventine market. It’s full of plebs buying and selling, and doing all the stuff contented plebs do. But armed men begin filling the square from opposite sides. Pullo’s there, and he’s got all his armor on, though no helmet. Even Gaia is there, with a wicked lance in her hands. The clamor dies down, and the plebs make tracks, leaving the square to the opposing groups. Memmio steps out and makes a little speech, smarm dripping from his lips, suggesting a parley, and he knows Pullo is a reasonable man, not like that madman Vorenus. You and me can do business, he says. Pullo and Memmio step out from their groups, approach each other, and eventually clasp arms. Memmio smiles. Pullo kisses him. Full mouth kisses him. Full mouth tongue-sucking kisses him. Full mouth, tongue-sucking-and-biting-off kisses him. Blood erupts from his mouth as Pullo apparently stabs him left handed, never letting go the right hand clasp. General fighting erupts. Gaia lances some baddies. Pullo is swinging an axe like a crazed German. Someone is calling “stand fast you cowards” as others flee, and we think Pullo’s group is winning, though we don’t actually see it as there’s a swift cut to…

Egypt. Cleopatra’s court. Antony enters and approaches the throne, but Cleopatra’s not there. Instead, we see her off to the side, and she approaches calling “Mark Antony” (guess she remembers him, now.) “Cleopatra” he says, and strides toward her. Fade to Egypty sounding credit music.

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Next Week: My daylight-savings-time benumbed senses don’t take in much of the swiftly flashing previews (This stuff is practically subliminal, folks). I’ll give you a complete recap in the full review. Almost all my guesses were wrong last week, anyway.

- Cecil

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Full Review now available, HERE.

Previous Capsule: 2-7C “Death Mask” - Capsule Review

Next Capsule: 2-9C “Deus Impeditio Esuritori Nullus (No God Can Stop a Hungry Man)”

Click here for complete "Rome" broadcast schedule, including reshow days, times, and HBO Channel

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Previously: We see the death list being built, name by name, Atia’ suggested addition (Jocasta’s father), Jocasta seeking asylum at Atia’s house, Pullo at Cicero’s, Octavia and Agrippa, “I’m preglant”, Thug 2 meeting Vorena the elder, Antony and Octavian meet and join in Gaul, Cassius’s death, Brutus’s suicide by soldier at Philippi.

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Opening scene:

The street outside Servilia’s house. It’s morning and the torches are being extinguished. Inside Servilia weeps over a death mask of Brutus and we see dozens of similar masks hanging on the wall, backlit by lamps and we have our fastest title, ever. Servilia weeps over the mask, and even presses it to her own face in grief. Eleni, horrified, peels it off her and attempts to comfort her, offering her ‘willow water’, to help her sleep. Servilia, though confused and numbed by her grief, is determined. “No… More… Sleep”. She cries in Eleni’s robes.

Atia’s house: Jocasta is being prepared for marriage. She snivels a bit. Octavia tries to cheer her up. Octavia tells a servant to “show her how lovely she looks”, but the metal mirror the servant holds up is full of flaws, and the image looks like one of those distorted fun-house mirrors, bringing more sobs from Jocasta. Atia enters and is dismissive of Jocasta’s sniffles, reminding her how hard it was to arrange any kind of marriage. Jocasta bucks up a bit but observes she’d always planned on marrying someone… “different”. A little make-up, a little motherly advice from Atia (!) and Jocasta’s ready to meet her fate.

Finally we see the ceremony, and she’s marrying…. Posca! As the family and Antony look on, and chickens stroll in the yard. Jocasta’s a bit distracted and stumbles over her lines. As the priest continues the ceremony in Latin, Atia again raises the “M” word to Antony. Antony deflects the conversation to the (far) future tense with his usual aplomb.

In mid-ceremony, a strident voice is heard in the street calling “Atia of the Julii, I call for justice.” It’s Servilia. Kneeling in the street, as Eleni sprinkles ashes over her head. Atia peeks out the spy-hole in the door, and is irritated. Her servant asks “What shall we do?” Atia says “Nothing, ignore her,” not reckoning with Servilia’s persistence.

Pullo and Eirene’s bed. Pullo creeps into the bed telling Eirene to get up, with an affectionate nibble or two. Marital natter ensues. Pullo hints for a little morning nookie, but Eirene says it’ll disturb the baby, and invites Pullo to feel the baby move, which he does and goes all soft and goofy like first-time fathers everywhere, e.g. Mac.

Aventine Collegium – Vorenus, Memmio and Mascius discuss the allocation of swag from the new heavier grain ships that are arriving, and which need to use the deeper docks at the Ostian wharves (Memmio’s territory). Memmio wants a V per cent cut and his laborers to do the unloading. Vorenus concedes the five percent, but sends Mascius to Ostia to supervise. In the background, Thug 2, Memmio’s man, makes a new stick figure. Negotiations concluded, Memmio leaves, and passes Vorena the elder in the hall. Following behind, Thug 2 makes goo-goo eyes at her, and drops the stick figure as he passes. She snatches it up, smiling, and hurries to place it in a chest under her bed with perhaps a dozen others. She kisses the original ‘couple bound together’ figure and closes the chest.

Nighttime, the rainy Streets outside Atia’s house. Servilia still kneels and chants without a break. The ash is now streaked by the rain. Eleni holds an ineffective cloth over her head.

The triumvirate’s headquarters. Antony enters gingerly, proclaiming a hangover from “Posca’s wedding yesterday” and the world’s worst headache. Octavian gazes at a map of the (mostly Roman) world. The Mediterranean is labeled “Mare Nostrum” (our sea). Lepidus mentions some of his friends are fearful over possible tyranny of the triumvirate. Antony wants names, but Lepidus demurs. Antony tells Lepidus to tell lthe nervous citizens to “shut their mouths”, and “go look on Cicero’s hands in the forum”.

Octavian proposes getting back to business, that being figuring out how the three can share the power in ruling Rome. He proposes they divide the territory and each assume command over their piece.

But how to divide things fairly? Antony borrows a sword from a guardsman, which makes everyone nervous for a moment, and literally slices the wall map up as he proposes Octavian take the city and the western provinces, and he take Egypt and the eastern provinces. Octavian observes that “Rome and the west has, what, rowdy Gauls and Germans, a fractious Senate, and all the trouble of keeping the Roman mob happy?” whereas “the east is where the money is, the grain supply, and most of the tax revenue.” Antony says “the revenues would be divided equally, of course.”

"And I, what would I get?” Lepidus wonders. “Africa”, Antony says, tearing that part of the map off and handing it to Lepidus. ‘But Antony, Egypt is in Africa,’ nobody says.

Back to Atia’s house. Servilia is still chanting outside, Eleni still sprinkling, and Antony walks past with a bunch of the boys. “What is this? Is she putting down roots?” he says in passing. Inside, Atia’ s covering her head with a pillow as Antony walks in. Antony says “Go out and let her rant at you awhile, she’ll soon leave.” “And have her curse at me in front of a mob of ogling plebs, never,” Atia responds.

The Aventine. Pullo is distributing fish, but runs off a fellow he thinks is coming back for seconds, and probably doesn’t live on the Aventine anyway. The mob apparently has tokens of identity to get their dole, and Pullo declares this one a fake.

Nearby Eirene orders a sullen Gaia (fanning herself and showing off her legs) to get some chores done, but Gaia is not responsive. Infuriated, Eirene picks up a stick to beat her, but Gaia threatens to “shove it down your throat”. Eirene promises "My husband will beat you.”

Inside the Aventine Collegium. Pullo and Vorenus discuss the fake token. Vorenus is not sufficiently upset, i.e., not at all. Pullo fumes and fulminates. Vorenus says do nothing. Pullo says 'that man was probably a Memmio plant'. Vorenus says ‘so what if he was?’

Eirene comes in to request a Gaia beating. The offense? “She wouldn’t bring in wood like I tell her, and she’s gonna choke me with a stick.” Pullo wants to know ‘what Eirene was going to do to her that made her say that?’, which infuriates Eirene and she storms out. Pullo asks Vorenus for advice but Vorenus is all “Don’t look at me.” Sensible policy, Vorenus.

Pullo is nervous about how Mascius would feel about Pullo beating his woman. But he can’t talk to Mascius, who’s in Ostia. Pullo wonders if Vorenus will do the beating for him. Vorenus says he will if Pullo wants it. Pullo decides, ’no, my wife, my problem.’ Pullo speculates that pregnancy “drives them a little mad.” What say, Mac?

In the Aventine Collegium tavern back room, Pullo approaches Gaia with a whip in hand, asks her to ‘assume the position’. Gaia wants to assume a different position. Pullo grabs her and it turns into quite a fight, Gaia is not afraid to sling crockery and uses her knowledge of a man’s “sensitive areas” to hold her own for a while. Pullo finally grasps Gaia in a close hold, and she turns it into a kiss to which Pullo responds with another. He flings her down on a table and ‘rapes’ her, though it’s what she was maneuvering for all along, and has been for some time.

Cut to Eirene in another part of the tavern – unsuspecting?

Gaia laughs as her plans have come to fruition. After round one he flips her over – for some serious beating? No, he ‘gags' her with the whip, holding it like a bridle, and it’s round two, ride ‘em cowboy. Finishing, Pullo growls that "This was a mistake, this never happens again” and Gaia smiles. They have a whispered exchange amidst the broken crockery, talking past each other, each ignoring what the other is saying. Pullo is all ‘don’t test me’, while Gaia is all ‘we go great together’.

Atia’s house. Atia is at a dreary table, with Octavia and Antony, Servilia’s chants ringing throughout the house. It’s been - how many days now? - and Servilia’s voice is still going strong, a crowd of onlookers surrounding her in a half-circle, leaving the side toward Atia’s house open. Atia in frustration finally cries “I give up” and heads for the door. There, with Octavia and Antony looking on, she demands. “Here then, you creepy bitch. Speak your piece and then be gone.”

Servilia has so many ashes poured over the head, she has a really ghost-like appearance. Servilia points her left hand, index and little fingers extended in a ‘horns’ sign, and recites:

“Gods below, I am Servilia of the most ancient and sacred Junii, of whose bones the seven hills of Rome are built. I summon you to listen. Curse this woman, send her bitterness and despair for all of her life. Let her taste nothing but ashes and iron. Gods of the underworld, all that I have left I give to you in sacrifice if you will make it so.”

Curse complete, Servilia pulls out a dagger and stabs herself in the heart, falling in the street. Octavia is shocked, starting forward but checked by a hand from Atia. Atia appears stunned. Eleni weeps over the boss's body and kisses her ash-streaked cheek, then withdraws the dagger, and, loyal unto death, stabs herself with the same blade and falls beside Servilia’s body. Antony sneers “Now that… is an exit.” Atia whispers “She’s dead” and appears to be weighing the balance ‘rival dead vs. curse on my head’ and can’t quite decide whether she’s won or lost.

Our view pulls back over Servilia and Eleni’s bodies, lying in the street in similar fashion to Caesar’s body in the forum – a death Servilia was instrumental in bringing about - and so was Eleni, come to think of it.

In front of the fastum. The town crier dude announces that “Prince” Herod of Judea, a vassal, is visiting Rome. “By order of the Triumvirate, all mockery of Jews, and their one God, shall be kept to an appropriate minimum.” Hm, I wonder just how you calculate that? We get a really good look at the fastum. I can even count the – possibly non-historical - niches – 44. Darn, why couldn’t it have been 42?

Antony’s chambers. Antony receives Herod who asks for a short course in bribery etiquette. Bribes are never given, only “gifts”. Herod then offers a “substantial gift” if Antony will help him take the throne of Judea. Antony is glad to oblige and they settle on twenty thousand pounds of gold at Posca’s suggestion. Herod agrees too readily, which stimulates Antony’s greed gland. “Should have asked for more,” with a rueful look at Posca. Herod asks if Antony speaks for Octavian and Lepidus as well, which Antony assures him he does. After Herod leaves, Posca asks what his cut will be, and Antony assures him he will be a generous as ever, i.e. nothing.

In the streets. Levi shouts “Scum!” at the departing Herod as Timon attempts to quiet him. Levi tells Timon that “the bastard should die.” And they’re just the boys to do the job.

Near Octavian’s chambers. Posca approaches Maecenas who is writing on a wax tablet while having his toenails trimmed. Posca asks if Maecenas is a ‘man of discretion’ who can hear a confidence and not later let on who told him. And reward the person who told him the confidence? Maecenas says he is.

Octavian’s chambers. Antony is entering in the company of an African gentleman, and grousing about how the lions the gentleman sold him were very poor chariot pullers. The gentleman offers a giraffe, or camels in their stead, but Antony is not having any of it. He wants lions. That pull chariots.

Octavian confronts Antony about the bribe as Maecenas looks on and demands his cut. Antony want to know “Who told you this?” Maecenas says “I bought one of Herod’s people.”

Antony says it was a personal gift, not revenue to be shared. Octavian differs. Antony tries to make light of the matter, but ends the lightness when he declares that Octavian has “no accomplishments of your own, so you seek to borrow the glory of others.” “It’s true, it was no accomplishment to defeat you at Mutina," Octavian low-blows back. Now Antony’s temper is up, and the veins throb in his forehead as he declares that Octavian never left his tent at Mutina. “You have never defeated me in anything!” As Maecenas attempts to calm the gathering storm, Octavian says “I had hoped you might have learned some humility and discipline. I see now that you are still the same crude, arrogant letch you always were,” as he strides off. “That’s right, just the same - I’m still f***ing your mother,” Antony really low blows to his departing back.

Aventine Collegium. Gaia is serving dinner to Pullo and Eirene, limping and asking “anything else, mistress?” most humbly. She winks at Pullo. Eirene comments “See, good slave now, ever since you gave her a good beating. You should beat her, the same way, every month,” which nearly causes Pullo to choke on his food.

Upstairs. As her chaperone nods, Vorena the elder tells Vorena the younger “If she wakes tell her I’ve gone to the temple.”

A bed. Thug2 and Vorena the elder are in it. Memmio ‘discovers’ them there and wails about how he must report this to Lucius Vorenus. Vorena the elder begs him not to, saying he’ll kill her, like he did her mother. Memmio ‘relents' if only she’ll do a little spying for him which Vorena the elder agrees to do.

The triumvirate office. Octavian and Antony, Lepidus strangely absent, are hammering out the deal of their power-sharing agreements, with Maecenas acting as scribe and Atia looking on. The terms are nearly agreed when Atia pipes up that a marriage between the houses of the Julii and Antony would be the perfect tie to bind the deal. Antony quips “I don’t care if all Italy burns, I’ll not marry him.” Atia takes that for a joke, and adds that “after Lupercalia” would be an auspicious time to have the wedding. Octavian seems open to the idea but sends Atia away because “It’s not proper for a woman to be present” at the marriage contract bargaining.

Atia leaves and chortles with her woman servant over her upcoming wedding. Atia wonders where Octavia is. Getting boffed by Agrippa, that’s where.

A synagogue. Timon and Levi are in it discussing the proper time to carry out their political action. Tomorrow after the wedding, they agree. They’re not being particularly quiet about the details, and they’re surrounded by fellow worshipers. Does nobody hear, or do they just not care?

Timon’s house. Dinner. Everyone is happy, but Timon’s breathing (and drinking) heavily.

Aventine upstairs. Vorenus interrupts Vorena the elder pawing through some papers, but is totally oblivious to what she’s obviously doing, and inquires about her health. Vorena says “Sister needs a new dress” and Vorenus obligingly comes up with some coin.

Atia’s bedchamber. As Octavian gazes on the two lovers from behind a curtain, Atia babbles with wedding plans. She proposes “a little break” from sex until their wedding night, so as to make it “something special”. Oh, it’ll be something special, all right, I hear all the history majors saying, while the rest of us don’t have a clue. Antony says there’s something he must discuss with her.

A wedding. As a priest asks the same questions we heard at the Posca/Jocasta wedding, we see Atia dressed well but with a noticeable lack of emotion on her face. Octavian as giver of the bride grasps Antony’s hand, then.... Octavia’s! Antony is marrying Octavia! The guests applaud as the wedding completes. Atia seethes. Agrippa looks on disconsolate.

The Reception. Octavia receives hand-kisses from many notables, including Herod. Agrippa complains to Maecenas of the unfairness of it all. Maecenas simple lays it to “politics”, and notes that “poor Atia’s” attachment to Antony, which he had always assumed to be purely practical, seems instead to have been true love. Octavian asks Atia to ‘please understand the political necessities.’

Atia retreats to her bed, despite Antony’s entreaties to return to the party. Antony, says it’s just “politics” and was Octavian’s idea, and won’t change anything between himself and Atia. OK, all together now... eugggghhhh.

The Streets. The wedding procession makes its way. Soldiers. Lictors. Dancing girls in scanty costumes. Pan-flautists. Dancing boys in scanty costumes. Flowers strewn. Jocasta and Posca. Antony kissing thrilled dowagers’ hands as he walks along. Senators. Foreign guests.

Among the guests following behind is Herod. Levi and Timon watch him approach. As Herod passes Levi urges “now”, but Timon is seeing Atia and hangs back and holds Levi back, too. Timon says he can’t do it, “No more killing. Herod is just a man, his death is useless, it’s just more blood. If we kill him, another will take his place.” Levi says “I’ll do it alone,” and draws his knife. The two struggle over the knife, unseen by the revelers. Levi ends up stabbed, by accident, and with his last breath proclaims “You are not my brother.”

The Marriage bed. Antony and Octavia lie in uncomfortable silence. At last Antony comments “This is strange, isn’t it.”, and later "Look, I know you’re not exactly happy about all this, but it is our wedding night.” Octavia non-romantically responds “Do as you like.” Antony requests she assume a position, which she does, and a very non-romantic coupling takes place. Antony doesn’t seem to mind.

Elsewhere. Atia wanders in a dark courtyard and remembers Servilia’s curse “Send her bitterness and despair for all of her life. Let her taste nothing but ashes and iron.”

A potion shop. Gaia buys what is apparently a potion to induce an abortion. I’m thinking “is it Pullo’s baby, or is she getting rid of Mascius’s baby to make way for Pullo’s?” But a reader suggests a more sinister explanation – perhaps she’s buying it for someone else? As she leaves the shop, we see her smiling face distorted in one of those wavy Roman mirrors, and I’m freaked, let me tell you.

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Next Week:

Another confusing set of fast flash images that I can’t catch while writing, but we see Cleopatra in there, and the slogans “All Trust is Lost” and “All Ties are Broken” and we certainly can imagine several applications of both.

But now, with the wonders of DVD technology, here’s a complete presentation: “No one must know what the shipment contains,” says Vorenus. Pssst, it’s gold coins. Don’t tell anyone. “Help, somebody,” shouts a frantic Pullo, and I get a very bad feeling about Eirene, as Gaia looks on enigmatically. Somebody’s getting tortured and Vorenus is ordering more tortures to “find out who did this” as Pullo pulls a wicked looking holdout knife. “All trust is lost,” burns on a wall. Antony is choking someone, while Octavian says “Antony would not dare disrespect me like this.” Vorenus points at someone (Vorena?) “It was you, wasn’t it?” Antony walks in the street as we hear Octavian’s voice say “You shall leave this city or I will declare our alliance is broken.” Posca finds his bride (I think) in flagrante with another woman (I think). “And all ties are broken,” flames another wall. A voice (Antony’s?) calls “Atia!” She turns and quick looks are exchanged by Atia, Octavia, Octavian. Antony tells Atia “I’m leaving tomorrow.” “Promise me you’ll send for me.” Vorena tells someone to “Stop it!” Vorenus slaps her. Quick flashes of hands clasping, “You betrayed me” from someone. A smiling Cleopatra. Vorenus throws something at someone. Running figures. Pullo, in armor, faces someone in fancier armor. Pullo yelling “Keep your mouth shut", and raising a sword overhead as if to cleave someone in two. Someone grabs Vorena’s arm. And that’s it. Whew. All this in less time than it took to type the first sentence.

See you next week.

- Cecil

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Previous Episode: 2-6F Rome 2-6F “Philippi” - Full Review

Next Episode: Rome 2-8F “A Necessary Fiction"

Click here for complete "Rome" broadcast schedule, including reshow days, times, and HBO Channel

Previously: We see the death list being built, name by name, Atia’ suggested addition (Jocasta’s father), Jocasta seeking asylum at Atia’s house, Pullo at Cicero’s, Octavia and Agrippa, “I’m preglant”, Thug 2 meeting Vorena the elder, Cassius’s death, Brutus’s suicide by soldier at Philippi.

[Bear with me, folks another dizzying round of quick scenes, over thirty of them in the 55 minutes of this episode. Forgive me if I’ve made any mistakes, which I’ll correct in the longer version after reviewing the DVD tomorrow.]

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Opening scene:

The street outside Servilia’s house. Inside Servilia weeps over a death mask of Brutus as Eleni attempts to comfort her and we have our fastest title, ever.

Atia’s house: Jocasta is being prepared for marriage, She snivels a bit. Finally we see the ceremony, and she’s marrying…. Posca! In mid ceremony, a strident voice is heard in the street calling “Atia of the Julii, I call for justice.” It’s Servilia. Atia says “just ignore her,” not reckoning with Servilia’s persistence. A servant (priest?) dribbles blood over Servilia’s head.

Pullo and Eirene’s bed. Pullo creeps into the bed telling Eirene to get up. Marital natter ensues. Pullo’s hints for a little morning nookie, but Eirene says it’ll disturb the baby, and invites Pullo to feel the baby move, which he does and goes all soft like goofy fathers everywhere.

Aventine Collegium – Vorenus, Memmio and Mascius discuss the allocation swag. Memmio wants a 5 per cent bump on the Ostian docks, which Vorenus concedes but sends Mascius to Ostia to supervise.

Rainy Streets outside Atia’s house. Servilia still kneels and chants without a break.

The triumvirate’s headquarters. Antony enters gingerly, proclaiming a hangover and the world’s worst headache. Octavian gazes at a map of the (mostly Roman) world. Lepidus mentions some of his friends are fearful over possible tyranny of the triumvirate. Antony tells Lepidus to have the nervous citizens take a look at Cicero’s hands, still nailed to the forum door. Octavian proposes getting back to business, that being figuring out how the three can share the power in ruling Rome. He proposes they divide the territory and each assume command over their piece.

But how to divide things fairly? Antony draws his sword and literally slices the wall map up as he proposes Octavian take the city and the western provinces, and he take Egypt and the eastern provinces. ‘What does that leave me?’ Lepidus wonders. “Africa”, Antony says. ‘But Antony, Egypt is in Africa,’ nobody says.

Back to Atia’s house. Servilia is still chanting outside, and Atia’ s covering her head with a pillow as Antony walks in. Antony says ‘Just go out and let her have her rant and she’ll go away.’ ‘Never in front of the plebs,’ Atia responds.

Aventine. Pullo is distributing fish, but runs off a fellow he thinks is coming back for seconds, and probably doesn’t live on the Aventine any way. Nearby Eirene orders a sullen Gaia to get some chores done, but Gaia is not responsive. Infuriated, Eirene promises ‘My husband will beat you.”

Inside the Aventine Collegium. Pullo and Vorenus discuss the ‘faker’. Vorenus is not sufficiently upset, i.e., not at all. Pullo fulminates. Vorenus says do nothing. Pullo says that man was probably a Memmio plant. Vorenus says ‘so what if he was?’ Eirene comes in to request a Gaia beating, then leaves. Pullo is nervous about this, wonders if Vorenus will do it for him. Vorenus says he will if Pullo wants it. Pullo decides, ’no, my wife, my problem.’

In the Aventine Collegium tavern, strangely vacant, Pullo approaches Gaia, asks her to ‘assume the position’. Gaia wants to assume a different position. Pullo grabs her and it turns into quite a fight, Gaia not afraid to sling crockery and uses her knowledge of a man’s “sensitive areas” to hold her own for a while. Pullo finally grasps Gaia in a close hold, and she turns it into a kiss to which Pullo responds with another. He flings her down on a table and ‘rapes’ her, though it’s what she was maneuvering for all along, and has been for some time. After round one he flips her over – for some serious beating? No he ‘gags' her with, like, a bridle , and it’s round two, ride ‘em cowboy. Pullo growls that ‘this will never happen again’ and Gaia smiles.

Atia’s house. Servilia is still chanting, and Antony again advises confronting her. Atia finally agrees and goes to the door, challenging Servilia. Servilia looks as it she’s switched from blood to ashes over the head, a really ghost-like appearance. Servilia calls on the “gods below” to curse Atia and says she gives then all she has if they will do so. Curse complete, Servilia pulls out a dagger and stabs herself in the heart, falls in the street. Eleni weeps over the boss's body, withdraws the dagger, and then loyal unto death, stabs herself with the same dagger and falls beside Servilia’s body. Atia appears to be weighing the balance ‘rival dead vs. curse on my head’ and can’t quite decide whether she’s won or lost.

In front of the fastum. The town crier dude announces that King Herod of Judea is visiting Rome.

Antony’s chambers. Antony receives Herod who asks for a short course in bribery etiquette. Antony is glad to oblige and they settle on twenty thousand pounds of gold at Posca’s suggestion. Herod asks if Antony speaks for Octavian and Lepidus as well, which Antony assures him he does. After Herod leaves, Posca asks what his cut will be, and Antony assures him he will be a generous as ever, i.e. nothing.

In the streets. Levi shouts “Scum!” at the departing Herod as Timon attempts to quiet him.

Near Octavian’s chambers. Posca approaches Maecenas who is writing on a wax tablet while having his toes painted. Posca asks if Maecenas is a ‘man of discretion’ who can hear a confidence and not later let on who told him. Maecenas says he is.

Octavian’s chambers. Octavian confronts Antony about the bribe with Maecenas looking on and demands his cut. Antony says it was a personal gift, not revenue to be shared. Octavian differs. Antony tries to make light of the matter, but ends the lightness when he declares that Octavian’s never accomplished anything on his own. ‘Oh, then beating you at Mutina was nothing,’ Octavian low-blows back. Now Antony’s mad, and declares Octavian never left his tent at Mutina. Octavian says he thought Antony had matured, but now sees he is still an ignorant, arrogant oaf, as he strides off. “Yes, and I’m still f***ing your mother,” Antony really low blows back.

Aventine Collegium. Gaia is serving dinner to Pullo and Eirene, commenting herself on ‘how servile I am since my “beating”’. Eirene says Pullo should “beat her the same way every morning,” which nearly causes Pullo to choke on his wine.

A bed. Thug2 and Vorena the elder are in it. Memmio ‘discovers’ them there and wails about how he must report this to Lucius Vorenus. Vorena the elder begs him not to, saying he’ll kill her like he did her mother. Memmio ‘relents' if only she’ll do a little spying for him which Vorena the elder agrees to do.

The triumvirate office. Octavian, Lepidus, and Antony are hammering out the deal, with Maecenas acting as scribe and Atia looking on. The terms are nearly agreed when Atia pipes up that a marriage between the houses of the Julii and Antony would be the perfect tie to bind the deal. She adds that “after Lupercalia” would be an auspicious time to have the wedding. Octavian seems open to the idea but sends Atia away because “It’s not proper for a woman to be present” at the marriage bargaining.

Atia leaves and chortles with someone over her upcoming wedding. Someone wonders where Octavia is. Getting boffed by Agrippa, that’s where.

A synagogue. Timon and Levi are in it discussing the proper time to carry out some political action. Tomorrow after the wedding, they agree.

Timon’s house. Dinner.

Atia’s bedchamber. As Octavian gazes on the two lovers from behind a curtain, Atia babbles with wedding plans. Antony says there’s something he must discuss with her.

A wedding. As a priest asks the same questions we heard at the Posca/Jocasta wedding, we see Atia dressed well but with a noticeable lack of emotion on her face. Octavian as giver of the bride grasps Antony’s hand, then.... Octavia’s! Antony is marrying Octavia! The guests applaud as the wedding completes, but Agrippa looks on disconsolate.

The Reception. Octavia shakes hands receiving many notables, including Herod. Agrippa complains to Maecenas of the unfairness of it all. Maecenas simple lays it to “politics”. Atia retreats to her bed, despite Antony’s entreaties to return to the party. Antony, too, says it’s just “politics” and was Octavian’s idea, and won’t change anything between himself and Atia. OK, all together now... eugggghhhh.

The Streets. The wedding procession makes its way, Antony kissing thrilled dowagers’ hands as he walks along. Among the guests following behind is Herod. Levi and Timon watch him approach. As Herod passes Levi urges “now”, but Timon hangs back and holds Levi back, too. Timon says he can’t do it, “No more blood.” The two struggle, swords drawn, unseen by the revelers. Levi ends up stabbed, and with his last breath proclaims “You are not my brother.”

The Marriage bed. Antony and Octavia lie in uncomfortable silence. At last Antony comments “Strange, isn’t it.”, and later ‘It is our wedding night,” Octavia non-romantically responds “Do as you like.” Antony requests she assume a position, which she does, and a very non-romantic coupling takes place. Antony doesn’t seem to mind.

Elsewhere. Atia stares out a window in the darkness and remembers Servilia’s curse.

A potion shop. Gaia buys what is apparently a potion to induce an abortion. Is it Pullo’s baby, or is she getting rid of Mascius’s baby to make way for Pullo’s?

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Next Week:

Another confusing set of fast flash images that I can’t catch while writing, but we see Cleopatra in there, and the slogans “All Trust is Lost” and “All Ties are Broken” and we certainly can imagine several applications of both.

- Cecil

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Full length review now available, HERE.

Previous Capsule: 2-6C “Philippi” - Capsule Review

Next Capsule: Rome 2-8C “A Necessary Fiction”

Click here for complete "Rome" broadcast schedule, including reshow days, times, and HBO Channel

Previously: We see the children introduced to the Aventine Collegium, Octavia and Jocasta experiment with hemp, Levi chiding Timon, Timon in the synagogue, the children run away and are turned back by Lyde, Octavia’s “abduction” from the orgy, the Janus ceremony for the children, Brutus and Cassius plot their triumphant return to Rome, Antony’s camp in the alps.

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Opening scene: Greece, Brutus and Cassius’s legions march. Cassius does the accounts on horseback, grumbling about how much armies eat. Guess he hasn’t read his Napoleon – “An army travels on its stomach”. Oh yeah, that’s another XIX centuries from now. Brutus rides up and is all chatty about “the men” while Cassius ponders the strategic situation and grouses some more about expenses.

Cisalpine Gaul: Riders gallop and foot soldiers double-time past the command tent, where Octavian writes in wax with a stylus. Antony is doing all the talking, planning their campaign in Greece. His strategy is basically Bedford Forest’s – get there the fustest with the mostest. He exchanges a look with Lepidus over Octavian’s lack of response. “Do you understand what I’m saying or shall I speak more slowly”. “No.” Octavian, it turns out, is planning for the home front – he’s making a little list - of men to be killed in Rome. No sense leaving supporters of your enemy at your backs as you ride off to do battle. Lepidus objects that “These are among the finest men in Rome, some of them my good friends.” Maecenas points out that the confiscated money of the dead men will come in handy. Posca scowls silently in the background. Antony proposes Cicero should go first, both to settle a personal score and because he’s the most dangerous. Antony says he has a few more names to add to the list. Lepidus will be left behind with a small contingent to keep order. Octavian will send the list to Vorenus to parcel out the contract murders among the gangs.

Atia’s been listening and speaks for the first time, saying she’s got a name to add to the list. ‘No’, Octavian says, ‘no killing women’, i.e. Servilia. But the name, Atia proposes is Rufus Tranquillis. ‘Huh’ says everyone simultaneously, including your reviewer. Turns out he’s Jocasta’s father. Guess that’s one way to deal with her social climbing. Maybe we could try a haughty snub, first? The guys are not down with this at first, but come around on hearing how wealthy Tranquillis is.

Octavian adds that Vorenus and Pullo should deal with Cicero personally. Oh, and Antony adds, ‘have then cut off his hands and nail them to the senate door’ – Antony promised him that, in the past, if Cicero ever crossed him again.

The army is departing to face Brutus and Cassius’s legions. Antony is saying his goodbyes to Atia. Atia tells Antony to ‘bring her Brutus’s head for a wedding present’. Antony shies a little at this wedding talk.

Aventine Kiddy Korner: The children are playing at cosmetics, with some help from Gaia. Lucius Vorenus, encountering this, objects and tells Vorena the elder to rub it all off, toot sweet. Vorenus tells Gaia to not interfere with the children. Vorenus order Mascius to summons the captains. As Mascius gets up to do so, Gaia sarcastically ‘thanks’ him for standing up for her. Mascius says they’re Vorenus’s children, and he’s the boss - ‘he says don’t paint them,, don’t f******g paint them’. “Spoken like a true third man.” Gaia really knows where to insert the knife. Mascius tells her he likes her but “Be careful, slave, I have my limits.” You know I’m really not understanding this ‘slave’ business. Who, exactly, is her master? How is it that a slave can go job hunting? Gaia is the second example we’ve seen. The late Duro was also a slave who sought out a new job. Or at least purported to be. Can slaves just walk off and look for a new job? Do they kick back to their masters? Somebody enlighten me. But I digress.

Short scene of Vorena the elder frantically wiping her face and weeping.

Vorenus is assigning the hit lists. Each gang gets 10 names of “the richest men in Rome”, their 00x license to kill them, and permission to take as much of as their property as they can carry. The children run through the room where all this violence is being planned, little Lucius giggling. Vorenus tells Vorena the elder to ‘try and keep him out of the mud', and sends a chaperone with them. The gang captains argue over their lists, which Vorenus says have been equally divided.

The children run into the Aventine open market, and little Lucius, holding the toy elephant Vorenus repaired, does indeed head straight for the mud, heedless of his sister’s cries. In a secluded nook off the market, one anonymous thug nudges another and points “That’s the one.” We can’t tell if he’s indicating Vorena or little Lucius. Anonymous thug #2 approaches Vorena the elder and asks her “is this is the way to the temple…” but he never finishes his sentence, standing mute as Vorena looks up, then lowers her eyes again. For a second there, I’m wondering if they’ve met before, perhaps in the slave camp. They both stand mute for a beat, then the chaperone inserts herself between them and orders the thug to push off, and pulls both girls away.

Back in the Aventine Collegium, Pullo doodles military doodles, while Vorenus hands out death orders. The gangs quarrel over how to spend the money the assassinations will bring them. Vorenus, as canny in gang psychology as he is inept in family psychology, notes that the feast of Pomona (goddess of smog and the LA county fair) is coming up, and proposes they spend some of the money on bread and fish giveaways, to improve the gangs’ reputations, since in the coming peaceful times, they’ll need some support from the populace. Memmio agrees to the plan just a little too readily.

Back on the street, thug #2 makes a goodwill offering of his own, two little stick figures bound together. He gets little Lucius to take it to his older sister. While the chaperone dozes he makes goo-goo eyes at Vorena the elder. She returns a shy smile.

Memmio and Cotta ascend those long Aventine stairs. Cotta wants know why Memmio backed Vorenus. Memmio says Vorenus is a man of vision. Near the top of the stairs, they encounter thug #2. “And?” says Memmio. “It’s done,” replies the thug.

Back in the Collegium, Pullo expresses distrust for Memmio. Vorenus sends Pullo on a little errand, to Cicero’s villa in Tusculum. “No looting,” Vorenus commands, “show some respect.” As Pullo packs his murder kit, Gaia tries to cozen up to him. Number one was a no-go so having a run at number two? Pullo’s not having any part of it, and says so. Eirene’s seen the last of this, and doesn’t like it. She asks Pullo where he’s going. On an impulse, Pullo says, since it’s a wonderful day, why not take the whole family along for a picnic? Way to turn an assassination into a kiddie romp, Pullo.

Some Sylvan Glen: The Pullo-Vorenus party throws down a cloth and enjoys the out of doors. Pullo excuses himself to go run and errand – with his sword. Vorenus’s doing that 'throw the little kid in the air' thing that all fathers do, and little Lucius seems to enjoy it. Vorenus is making headway with at least one of his children. Well, not exactly his child, but you know what I mean. Pullo kisses Eirene and mounts a horse for his little errand. Wished ‘good luck’ by Vorenus, Pullo responds “Hah!”. Luck’s not nothing to do with it when Pullo plies his trade. Two more armed men accompany him.

Cicero’s country villa, the garden: Cicero plays a board game with a young boy – slave? son? A messenger arrives bringing Cicero the news of the Octavian-Antony alliance that bodes ill for Brutus and Cassius... and Cicero. The young boy is named Hector.

On the road, Pullo’s party approaches, as Hector hides behind a tree. At their approach, the boy runs into the woods.

Cicero hastens to dash off a warning letter to Brutus, but before he can finish it, a servant brings word of armed men at the door. Knowing exactly what that means, Cicero nevertheless finishes his letter rather than running, and gives it to the messenger, telling him to get it to Brutus at any cost. The messenger disappears just as Pullo walks into the garden. Brutus and Cicero chat for a while, Pullo very respectfully.

On learning who his assassin is, Cicero remarks that it’s an honor to meet the famous Titus Pullo. Pullo compliments Cicero back. Cicero says Pullo’s work today will being him immortality. Pullo is intrigued, then disappointed to find Cicero means only that his name will be remembered as the killer of the famous Cicero. He was hoping for personal immortality.

Pullo compliments Cicero on his peach tree. Cicero broaches the subject of a possible bribe, but Pullo’s incorruptible, like the definition of an honest Alabama politician – once bought he stays bought.

They are interrupted by Cicero’s slave/scribe Tiro, who emerges from the kitchen brandishing a battered cleaver, intending to defend his master. Pullo tells him to not be absurd, and Cicero concurs.

Pullo draws his sword, but Cicero asks for a few moments to compose himself, which Pullo grants. Pullo asks for permission to pick a few peaches ‘for the missus’. Cicero watches a large black bird flying lazy circles in the sky, then gives himself up to Pullo.

Tiro begins to wail, but Cicero commands him to stop until he’s gone, Saying that he’s given Tiro his freedom in his will. “Take care of my people,” he adds.

Pullo advises him to kneel, to make it easier, and Cicero does. Pullo advises the weeping Tiro “You might not want to watch this,” then thrusts his sword down past Cicero’s scapula to the heart. Blood spurts and the greatest orator of late Republican Rome will speak no more.

Back at the picnic: Little Lucius plays peek-a-boo with his sister as a smiling Vorenus and Lyde look on. They discuss Vorena the elder’s marriage prospects – not good in Vorenus’s opinion. “What kind of man would marry a prostitute?” Vorenus asks rhetorically. Hard as it is for us to accept, the Roman mind made little distinction between forcible rape and willing prostitution. The conversation is interrupted by the girls calling little Lucius to stop as he runs into the road and is almost run down by a speeding horseman.

The horseman reins in just in time. Vorenus upbraids the horseman for excessive speed. The horseman says “take care of your bastard you stupid peasant”. Right on one point, wrong on the other two. Words are exchanged and Vorenus pulls down the horseman for a little serious discussion, but before he Vorenus can pound him into little pieces, Lyde calls for him to stop… “the children!”.

Vorenus lets the horseman leave, but he’s lost his dispatch case, which the children play with – it was Cicero’s messenger. And I guess we’re supposed to think that this is why the message never got delivered to Brutus. But the messenger knows the contents of the message. Couldn’t he just deliver an oral report?

The afternoon drifts on and Vorenus entertains the group with juggling tricks. Versatile Vorenus. Pullo rides in distributing Cicero’s peaches to the family, and remarking on what a fine fellow Cicero turned out to be. He slings a heavy satchel to Vorenus, and I guess we know what’s in there. All in all, a pleasant summer day in the country.

Night time, the Senate: We hear a pounding at the door, and we see Pullo nailing a pair of soft white hands to the Senate door. In actual history, I understand Antony also had Cicero’s tongue nailed there, it having done Antony much more damage than the hands ever had.

Octavian’s villa: Posca scurries in and delivers “more names from Mark Antony,” to Agrippa, Maecenas, and Octavian. “Antony has a lot of enemies, it takes time to recall them all.” Agrippa thinks “Surely, we have killed enough, close on a thousand men,” and retires from the unpleasant discussion, meeting Octavia in another part of the house. They discuss their relationship, about which Agrippa says he knows he could never marry her, because he is of common blood. Octavia protests that she can marry whom she likes, but they both know better. Octavia ends the discussion with a passionate kiss, which is interrupted by Maecenas seeking the “blasted tax projections”.

A synagogue, somewhere: A group of men are discussing how much of a bribe to give the Romans, and which Roman, the idea of which is to get the Romans to recognize Herod as the legitimate king of Judea. A voice cries out “How is it come to this? In this holy place?” It’s Levi. Timon is with him. Asked to ‘name yourselves’ by the Rabbi, Levi responds “We are the sons of Arod, from the families of Manasseh. We are the wrath of Israel” and spits in the high priest’s face, leading to a brawl. The revolutionary group flees to the streets laughing over this political action, and we learn that Timon’s real name is Tevye. But they have to disperse when interrupted by…

Soldiers in the street shouting “Make way”, who lead us to Vorenus and Pullo congratulating themselves over their successes. Pullo, however is concerned that with the ascendancy of the Antony-Octavian faction the city will become too peaceful for a warrior like himself, and frets over missing the battles. Pullo feels he’s not cut out for peace, but Vorenus thinks they’re heading for big things. Pullo doesn’t think “Second man in the Aventine. He handed out many fish,” will look good on his tombstone.

Elsewhere in the streets, prostitutes stroll outside a… brothel? Inside, the voice of a blind attendant calls “second hour.” I guess that means ‘pay more or leave’. In an alcove we see two bodies writhing in lust. Drawing closer, we see it’s Agrippa and Octavia. Guess somebody said ‘get a room’ and they took it literally. Later, while they shower, we hear, “third hour”. Nice staying power, kids. A little more kissing and snuggling, and Agrippa must take his leave. Octavia weeps once he’s gone.

Atia’s house: Octavian is preparing to leave Rome. Atia gives him parting advice – be nice to Antony. Maecenas is there. But where’s Agrippa? “He attends to several whores, or one lover,” Maecenas quips. Agrippa appears, but denies it when Octavian says he’s ‘hot from a brothel bed, on such a day,’ with mock seriousness. Octavia appears, breathless, claiming to have had ‘women’s troubles’. A trooper kneels to give Octavian a stepstool to mount his horse. Seriously, somebody’s got to get around to inventing stirrups soon. Octavian and party depart. After they’re gone, Atia shows she knows all about Agrippa, telling Octavia to not think she can marry him.

Jocasta stumbles into the doorway asking for help. Her family’s been killed and herself ‘dishonored’. Guess this orgies aren’t as much fun when involuntary. Octavia says they’ll take her in, and Atia replies “of course”, while making out her ‘inefficient assassin’ complaint in her head.

Aventine Collegium: Pullo inspects and polishes his old military gear. Eirene finds him and they talk about Pullo’s desire, like an old fire horse, to dash after the clanging bells toward the smell of smoke. Pullo says the Aventine Collegium stinks of fish (guess the handouts have started). Eirene says it reminds her of home, which was on a lake with lots of fish. Pullo denies any martial ambitions even as he raises the possibility of going with the legions, being as how he’s ‘in with the chiefs now” he could aspire to first spear, maybe even legate. But Eirene turns the talk from martial to marital with a few sniffles, and a cry of “I’m pregnant!” She has to say it a few times for it to penetrate Pullo’s thick skull. [Actually, she says "I'm preglant", but we, and Pullo, eventually figure it out.] A variety of emotions play across Pullo’s face, most of them that sort of smug pride new fathers-to-be get with a sort of ‘look what I’ve done' overtone. I'm sure Mac Slocum was making that same face two months ago.

In Greece, Brutus contemplates his grandfather’s ring, which Cassius says he’s been ‘mooning over’ for the last hour. A scout enters and reports to Brutus and Cassius that the enemy has been sighted, and that Octavian and Antony have combined their armies, and are only a day away. Their opponents have XIX legions, while Brutus and Cassius have only XIV. (Guess Cicero’s “twenty Legions” was a bit optimistic.) Cassius’s first instinct is to retreat, but Brutus says better to have it out here. No more running. We will meet them here tomorrow. If we win, all the more glory for us. And if we are to die, this is as good a place as any. ‘Tis in the hands of the gods now. We have the upper ground”. Cassius concedes to Brutus.

The fields of Philippi, a narrow valley surrounded by mountains: From a distance we see two huge armies facing each other. Orderly ranks of men stand ready, calmly facing their enemies. Brutus and Cassius wait on their horses for the enemy’s approach. Brutus remembers to wish Cassius a “happy birthday”.

Over on the opposite side, Antony advises Octavian to take a last chance to urinate, if necessary. Octavian says it isn’t.

Both sides give the orders to advance. Hob-nailed sandals raise a cloud of dust and a sound of thunder. Men clash shield to shield. We see attempts to fight in an organized fashion, as the Romans did the barbarians in Gaul in the very first episode of season 1, but the battlefield collapses into man to man chaos. We see smoke rising from the battlefield, but I’m not sure what from, there’s been no evidence of ballistas here.

On a hill, Antony snacks on a piece of bread while watching the battle. Octavian asks if Antony can tell how the battle goes. “No idea” Antony replies, then leads from the front by joining a new charge himself with his retinue. Octavian does not come along, but releases Agrippa to charge himself with his men,

Back on the Republican side, Brutus’s right flank has crumbled and an officer seeks reinforcements. Cassius appears and orders in the reserve, but before they can return to the battle, a flight of arrows begins to arrive. “Testudo!” an officer shouts, which is a signal for the men to link shields overhead in a ‘turtle’ formation to shield themselves from the rain of arrows, which they do, though with some casualties because the shield isn’t perfect.

The battle wears on. Cassius is wounded, carried in on a litter and Brutus comforts him. (The writers are taking considerable liberties here – in the actual battle of Philippi, Brutus and Cassius fought their armies separately). Brutus tells his old friend they’ll have to retreat, but Cassius is already dead.

Brutus’s army has melted away, the center crumbling. An aide urges Brutus to flee, as Brutus looks out on the enemy now advancing on his elevated position in neat files. Brutus makes a short speech to his officers telling them to look out for themselves, now, “save your skins”. The aide is still trying to get Brutus away. “Give my best to my mother. Tell her… something suitable.”

Brutus kisses his grandfather’s ring, ignores the aide, and walks calmly toward the advancing troops, stripping off all insignia of rank and all his armor as he goes, retaining only his sword. As he meets the advancing files, they pause and consider each other for a moment, armored and shielded warriors vs. a lone unarmored man. Brutus wades into the foe waving his sword ineffectually. They play with him for a bit, pushing him about with their shields, but when Brutus gets in a lucky stoke under a shield and slices a soldier’s calf, they turn serious and quickly skewer him.

In the aftermath, Antony and Octavian ride across the battlefield. Agrippa reports that Cassius’s body has been found and they are still searching for Brutus. Antony says to have Cassius’s head packed in salt for return to Rome. A battlefield scavenger cuts the finger from Brutus’s body to remove his ring.

The credits roll over dirge-like, somber music.

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Next Week: Quick confusing cuts showing Eirene confronting Gaia, Pullo and Gaia, Antony and Octavian quarreling, Servilia praying, more confrontations among the Jews, and the line “Old Alliances are Broken”

- Cecil

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Previous Episode: 2-5F “Heroes of the Republic" - Full Review

Next Episode: 2-7F “Death Mask”

Next week, Feb 25-Mar 3, no new episode. Instead the first six episodes will be repeated throughout the week. Click the line below for the week's broadcast schedule.

Click here for complete "Rome" broadcast schedule, including reshow days, times, and HBO Channel

Previously: We see the children enter the Aventine Collegium, Timon in the synagogue, Octavia’s “abduction” from the orgy, the Janus ceremony, Brutus and Cassius plot their triumphant return to Rome, Antony’s camp in the alps.

Opening scene: Greece, Brutus and Cassius’s legions march. Riding along, Brutus enjoys the scenery while Cassius does the accounts on horseback, grumbling about how much armies eat. Guess he hasn’t read his Napoleon – “An army travels on its stomach”. Oh yeah, that’s another XIX centuries from now.

Cisalpine Gaul: While Octavian writes in wax with a stylus, Antony is doing all the talking, planning their campaign in Greece. His strategy is basically Bedford Forest’s – get there the fustest with the mostest. Octavian, it turns out, is planning for the home front – he’s making a little list - of men to be killed in Rome. No sense leaving supporters of your enemy at your backs as you ride off to do battle. Octavian will send the list to Vorenus to parcel out the contract murders among the gangs. Maecenas points out that the confiscated money of the dead men will come in handy. Posca scowls silently in the background. Lepidus will be left behind with a small contingent to keep order.

Atia’s been listening and speaks for the first time, saying she’s got a name to add to the list. ‘No’, Octavian says, ‘no killing women’, i.e. Servilia. But the name, Atia proposes is Rufus Tranquillis. ‘Huh’ says everyone simultaneously, including your reviewer. Turns out he’s Jocasta’s father. Guess that’s one way to deal with her social climbing. Maybe we could try a haughty snub, first? The guys are not down with this at first, but come around on hearing how wealthy Tranquillis is.

Antony proposes Cicero should go first, both to settle a personal score and because he’s the most dangerous. Oh, and have his hands nailed to the senate door – Antony promised him that, in the past, if Cicero ever crossed him again.

The army is departing to face Brutus and Cassius’s legions. Atia tells Antony to ‘bring her Brutus’s head for a wedding centerpiece. Antony shies a little at this wedding talk.

Aventine Kiddy Korner: The children are playing at cosmetics, with some help from Gaia. Lucius Vorenus, encountering this, objects and tells Vorena the elder to rub it all off, toot sweet. Vorenus tells Gaia to not interfere with the children.

Later, little Lucius runs out to play in the street, pursued by his older sister. From the side, two thugs remark the pair.

A meeting in the Aventine Collegium: Pullo doodles while Vorenus hands out death orders. The gangs quarrel over how to spend the money the assassinations will bring them. Vorenus, as canny in gang psychology as he is inept in family psychology, proposes they spend some of the money on bread and fish giveaways, to improve the gangs’ reputations, since in the coming peaceful times, they’ll need some support from the populace. Memmio agrees to the plan just a little too readily.

On the street, one of the same thugs makes goo-goo eyes at Vorena the elder as her chaperone dozes.

Memmio and Cotta ascend those long Aventine stairs. Cotta wants know why Memmio backed Vorenus. Memmio says Vorenus is a man of vision.

Vorenus sends Pullo on a little errand. Pullo says, since it’s a wonderful day, why not take the whole family along for a picnic? Way to turn an assassination in to a kiddie romp, Pullo. As they break up, Gaia bats her eyes a little at Pullo, but Eirene’s been watching and calls him on it.

Some Sylvan glen: The Pullo-Vorenus party throws down a checkered cloth and enjoys the out of doors. Pullo excuses himself to go run and errand – with his sword.

Cicero’s country villa, the garden: A messenger arrives bringing Cicero the news of the Octavian-Antony alliance that bodes ill for Brutus and Cassius. Cicero hastens to dash off a warning letter to Brutus, but before he can finish it, a servant beings word of armed men at the door. Knowing exactly what that means, Cicero nevertheless finishes his letter rather than running, and gives it to the messenger, telling him to get it to Brutus at any cost. The messenger disappears just as Pullo walks into the garden. Brutus and Cicero chat for a while, Pullo very respectfully. Pullo complements Cicero on his peach tree, and asks for permission to pick a few ‘for the missus’. They are interrupted by Cicero’s slave/scribe Tiro, who emerges from the kitchen brandishing a battered cleaver, intending to defend his master. Pullo tells him to not be absurd, and Cicero concurs, adding that he’s given Tiro his freedom in his will.

Pullo moves toward Cicero, but Cicero asks for a few moments to compose himself, which Pullo grants. Cicero watches a large black bird flying lazy circles in the sky, then gives himself up to Pullo. Pullo advises him to kneel, to make it easier. He advises the weeping Tiro “You might want to look away, now”, then thrusts his sword down past Cicero’s scapula to the heart. Blood spurts and the greatest orator of late Republican Rome will speak no more.

The same sylvan glen: Little Lucius, playing, runs into the road and is almost run down by a speeding horseman. Vorenus upbraids the horseman for excessive speed. Words are exchanged and Vorenus pulls down the horseman for a little serious discussion. Eventually, the horseman is allowed to leave, but he’s lost his dispatch case, which the children play with – it was Cicero’s messenger. Pullo returns, distributing Cicero’s peaches to the family, and remarking on what a fine fellow Cicero turned out to be.

Night time, the Senate: We hear a pounding at the door. The camera pulls closer and we see what’s being pounded - two soft white hands. In actual history, I understand Antony also had Cicero’s tongue nailed there, it having done Antony much more damage than his hands ever had.

Octavian’s villa: Agrippa and Maecenas are visited by a messenger bringing “more names”. Agrippa retires from the unpleasant discussion, meeting Octavia in another part of the house. They discuss their relationship, about which Agrippa says he knows he could never marry her, because he is of common blood. Octavia ends the discussion with a passionate kiss.

A synagogue, somewhere: A group of men are discussing how much of a bribe to give the Romans, and which Roman, the idea of which is to get the Romans to recognize Herod as the legitimate ruler of Jerusalem. A splinter group, including Timon and Levi, objects to paying the Romans anything, preferring to pit themselves against the whole Roman soon-to-be-empire. One spits in the high priest’s face, leading to a brawl. The revolutionary group flees to the streets laughing over this political action, and we learn that Timon’s real name is Tevye. But they have to disperse when interrupted by…

Soldiers in the street shouting “Make way”. Who lead us to Vorenus and Pullo congratulating themselves over their successes. Pullo, however is concerned that with the ascendancy of the Antony-Octavian faction the city will become too peaceful for a warrior like himself.

Elsewhere in the streets, prostitutes stroll outside a brothel. Inside, a voice calls “second hour”. I guess that means ‘pay more or leave’. In an alcove we see two bodies writhing in lust. Drawing closer, we see it’s Agrippa and Octavia. Guess they took some ‘get a room’ taunt literally. Later, while they shower, we hear, “third hour”. Nice staying power, kids.

Octavian’s villa: Octavian is preparing to leave Rome. Maecenas is there. But where’s Agrippa? “He attends to several whores, or one lover,” Maecenas quips. Agrippa appears, but denies it when Maecenas says he’s ‘hot from a brothel bed’. Octavia appears, breathless, claiming to have had ‘female problems’. Octavian and party depart. After they’re gone, Atia shows she knows all, telling Octavia to not think she can marry him.

Atia’s house: Jocasta stumbles into the doorway asking for asylum. Her family’s been killed and herself ‘abused’. Guess this orgies aren’t as much fun when involuntary.

Aventine Collegium: Pullo inspects and polishes his old military gear. Eirene finds him and they talk about Pullo’s desire, like an old fire horse, to dash after the clanging bells toward the smell of smoke. Pullo says the Aventine Collegium smells of fish (guess the handouts have started). Eirene says it reminds her of home. At the end of this domestic small talk, Eirene says “I’m pregnant!” She has to say it a few times for it to penetrate Pullo’s thick skull.

The fields of Philippi: In Brutus camp, a scout reports to Brutus and Cassius that Octavian and Antony have combined their armies, and are only a day away. Their opponents have XIX legions, while Brutus and Cassius have only XIV. (Guess Cicero’s “twenty Legions” was a bit optimistic.) Cassius’ first instinct is to retreat, but Brutus says better to have it out here, where “we have the high ground”.

The next day, Brutus and Cassius wait on their horses for the enemy’s approach. Brutus remembers to wish Cassius a “happy birthday”.

Over on the opposite side, Antony advises Octavian to take a last chance to urinate, if necessary. Octavian says it isn’t.

Both sides give the orders to advance. Men clash shield to shield. We see attempts to fight in an organized fashion, as the Romans did the barbarians in Gaul in the very first episode of season 1, but the battlefield collapses into man to man chaos.

On a hill, Antony snacks while watching the battle. Octavian asks if Antony can tell how the battle goes. “No idea” Antony replies, then leads from the front by joining a new charge himself with his retinue. Octavian does not come along, but releases Agrippa to charge himself with his men,

Back on the Republican side, Brutus’s right flank has crumbled and an officer seeks reinforcements. Before they can return to the battle, a flight of arrows begins to arrive. “Testudo!” the officer shouts, which is a signal for the men to link shields overhead in a ‘turtle’ formation to shield themselves from the rain of arrows, which they do, though with some casualties because the shield isn’t perfect.

Cassius is down and Brutus comforts him. (The writers are taking considerable liberties here – in the actual battle of Philippi, Brutus and Cassius fought their armies separately). Brutus tells his old friend they’ll have to retreat, but Cassius is already dead.

Brutus’s army has melted away. An aide urges Brutus to flee, as Brutus looks out on the enemy now advancing on his elevated position in neat files, Brutus kisses his grandfather’s ring, ignores the aide, and walks calmly toward the advancing troops, stripping off all insignia of rank and all his armor as he goes, retaining only his sword. As he meets the advancing files, they pause and consider each other or a moment, armored and shielded warriors vs. a lone unarmored man. Brutus wades into the foe waving his sword ineffectually. They play with him for a bit, pushing him about with their shields, but when Brutus gets in a lucky stoke under a shield and slices a soldier’s calf, they turn serious and quickly skewer him.

In the aftermath, officers are searching for Brutus’s body, planning to pack his head in salt for return to Rome. A battlefield scavenger cuts the finger from Brutus’s body to remove his ring.

The credits roll over dirge-like, mournful music.

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Next Week: Quick confusing cuts showing Eirene confronting Gaia, Pullo and Gaia, Antony and Octavian quarreling, Servilia praying, more confrontations among the Jews, and the line “Old Alliances are Broken”

- Cecil

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Full review now available HERE.

Previous Capsule: 2-5C “Heroes of the Republic" - Capsule Review

Next Capsule: 2-7C "Death Mask”

Next week, Feb 25-Mar 3, no new episode. Instead the first six episodes will be repeated throughout the week. Click the line below for the week's broadcast schedule.

Click here for complete "Rome" broadcast schedule, including reshow days, times, and HBO Channel

Rome characters

Lucius Vorenus Played By Kevin McKidd
centurian of the XXIIIth
Later Senator
Later Aventine gang-leader

Niobe - Wife
Vorena - Younger daughter
Vorena - Elder daughter
Lucius - Thought to be grandson,
actually son of Niobe
Mark Antony - Commander
Lyde - Sister of Niobe
Evander - Husband of Lyde,
secret lover of Niobe
Clarissa- Nosy neighbor


Titus Pullo Played By Ray Stevenson
Legionary of the XXIIIth
Friend of Vorenus
Martial arts instructor to Octavian

Eirene - Slave/Wife Played By Chiara Mastalli


Julius Caesar played By Ciarán Hinds

Calpurnia - Wife
Atia - Niece
Julia - Daughter (married to Pompey –
dies in childbirth)
Pompey - Co-Consul
Servilia - Lover
Posca - played by Nicholas Woodeson
Chief slave and personal servant,
confidant and
co-strategist

Pompey Magnus Played By Kenneth Cranham
In-city consul of Rome
Formerly greatest general of Rome

Cornelia - Wife
Durio - Aide
Julia - Deceased wife
Quintus - Bastard son


Atia of the Julii Played By Polly Walker

Julius Caesar - Uncle
Octavia - Daughter
Octavian - Son
Mark Antony - Lover
Timon - Lover
Castor - Chief Slave
merula - chief female slave

Timon Played By Lee Boardman

Jewish Horse Trader
Sometimes lover of Atia
Brother Levi


Mark Antony Played By James Purefoy
second in command to Julius Caesar

Julius Caesar - Commander
Atia - Lover

Marcus Junius Brutus Played By Tobias Menzies
Senator, patrician,
leader of plot to kill Julius Caesar

Servilia - Mother

Gaius Cassius Longinus
Another primary plotter,
friend of Brutus
He of the lean and hungry look,
according to Shakespeare.


Servilia of the Junii Played By Lindsay Duncan

Julius Caesar - Lover
Marcus Junius Brutus - Son
Eleni - Chief female servant
Duro - Hired assassin,
infiltrates Atia's house


Niobe Played By Indira Varma
wife of Vorenus

Lucius Vorenus - Husband
Vorena - Elder daughter
Vorena - Younger daughter
Clarissa - Friend, neighbor, busybody
Evander - Brother-in-law/lover
Lyde - Sister
Lucius - Bastard son

Gaius Octavian Played By Max Pirkis
Julius Caesar's heir and designated son
Later played by Simon Woods

Julius Caesar - Great Uncle
Atia - Mother
Octavia - Sister
Agrippa - Friend and general
Maecenas - Friend and confidant

Octavia of the Julii Played By Kerry Condon

Glabius - Husband, murdered by Timon at Atia's behest
Julius Caesar - Great Uncle
Atia - Mother
Octavian - Brother


Quintus Pompey Played By Rick Warden
Captured by Vorenus and Pullo
Torturer and plotter wih Brutus & Cassius
Taken into Servilia's household
Killed by Antony after reconciliation

Pompey Magnus - Father


Porcius Cato Played By Karl Johnson
Eminence grise' of the senate

Marcus Tullius Cicero Played By David Bamber
Orator, senator, schemer

Tyro His chief slave

Cleopatra Played By Lyndsey Marshal

Queen of Egypt
Lover of Caesar, and later Mark Antony

Caesarion Her son with Caesar (or perhaps Pullo)
Charmian Her chief counsel, speaks in third person

Erastes Fulmen Evil Businessman, killed by Vorenus
played by ???

Mascius Played By Michael Nardone
ex-soldier of the XIIIth, hired by Vorenus

Gaia Bordello supervisor
Played By Zuleikha Robinson

Marcus Vipsanius Agrippa - played by Allen leech
Octavian's friend
Macedonian Legionary Officer

Maecenas Hanger on of Octavian
General?

Memmio Aventine captain, rival to vorenus
Omnipor - one of his lieutenants, seducer of Vorena