Could you quit your job and start all over again?
Well, considering that the only jobs available now require you to use a headset and a deep fryer, I'd say no, you'd have a hard time starting all over again.
That's the dilemma Michael Scott faced in "Two Weeks." Last week, he marched into David's office and quit. Now he's riding out his two weeks notice... except he doesn't even make it two weeks.
He starts with a sort of senioritis- goofing off, drinking and doing everything but working. The other workers can't believe he's actually quitting, and with good reason: He never follows through on anything. This time, though, he's serious.
His antics cause many an eye roll by Charles Miner, the new VP. But, since Michael already quit, what can he do?
When the staff start asking Michael where he's going to work next, he initially guffaws at the thought that he'll need to find a job. Headhunters will find him.
Michael: "Any good headhunter knows I'm available."
Dwight: "Any really good headhunter will storm your village at sunset with overwhelming force and cut off your head with a ceremonial knife."
Jim: "Right, because that's what we're talking about."
Soon, he talks to a guy waiting for the interview for Michael's regional manager position, and the guy mentions how hard it is to find a job right now. Let me take this moment to mention I'm in the newspaper business, so this thought repeatedly crosses my mind like a game of Frogger. I may soon need to apply for Michael's position, as I'm probably just as qualified and, unlike him, I have never worn a woman's suit.
Michael freaks out at this news (the job scarcity, not the newspapers), and he goes online to find a job. Scary, ghoulish sounds emanate from his office.
Jim: "That's Monster.com. No 'S'"
Since paper is all he knows, he tells Jim he's going to start his own paper company, the Michael Scott Paper Company. Original. Jim tells him it's a bad idea and declines Michael's employment offer, which probably has the same job security as a Ford assembly worker.
Michael goes around, one by one, to employees asking who will pull a Jerry McGuire with him. Since Michael doesn't have the hair or the dimples to pull that off, it doesn't work. Even Dwight says no. Michael asks Stanley while he's at the urinal. I think Stanley wanted to give him a swirly.
Charles, meanwhile, in between getting hit on by Kelly and Angela-- "I am aware of the effect I have on women," he says matter-of-factly to the camera-- is getting irritated at the lack of productivity around the office. Then, he discovers Michael's draft letterhead with the new company name on it, and he demands Michael leave.
Michael has to get escorted out by Hank (Remember how long it took Jim and others to figure out Hank the Security Guard's name when they were locked in the parking lot?), but manages to sneak back in the building.
He army crawls around the office in a last-ditch effort to
humiliate himself rally support. As he's literally pulling Phyllis toward him, Charles steps out of the conference room. Now furious, he orders Michael to leave, and makes it clear he'll toss Michael out himself, Uncle Phil on Fresh Prince style.
So Michael walks out. And then a strange thing happens. Pam goes with him, the Renee Zellweger to his Tom Cruise. Jim can't believe it, either. Pam says she'll work with Michael at the new company, as long as she's in sales this time. They walk out of the parking lot side by side, although Pam's face goes from upbeat to "Hmm, what did I just do?"
Finally, Charles tells the employees it's time for everyone to be more productive and forget about all the drama. He orders Kevin to answer phones, and Stanley to be the "Productivity Czar," which is the opposite jobs I'd assign those two.
Favorite quote: (Kevin is upset the new copier isn't ready. Pam says it'll be ready soon.)
Kevin: "Soon could be three weeks."
Pam: "Is that what soon means to you?"
Pam: "Then comeback soon."
Thoughts: Michael was much more likeable this time, as this was a very Michael-centric episode. Steve Carell was at his best, with great throwaway lines and getting to the heart of Michael's love for Dunder-Mifflin and paper. I also loved when he called Prince Paper (the family-owned company he and Dwight ruined), looking for a job, only to find they are out of business.
It was curious how the side story involved Pam getting the new copier to work, and then she quits in the end. I can't think she'd A) Spend a whole day accomplishing something she didn't think she could do, and then quit, and B) Quit her job without so much as talking it over with Jim. I'd also like more Creed and Meredith, when possible. Or all the time.
Next week looks to be a real brouhaha, with the fallout of Michael-gate... Personal note: I'll get more Office updates going soon; I've in the process of moving (although, unlike Michael, I didn't quit), so that's slowed me down.