Everyone convinces Ted to go blonde by telling him not to do it. Meanwhile, things with Robin and Don are going well.

Marshall thanks the brunette cab driver who turns out to be Barney. Barney tells him that he was listening to a recording of him, not him. He tells Marshall that he has been trying to get with women from around the world. Marshall goes to tell Lily the truth and then they get intimate instead.

Robin tells Ted that she got a job offer -- in Chicago. Ted says that she has been following her jobs around and not considering relationships better. Robin tells everyone about the job offer and then tells them that she is taking it. She doesn't end up taking the job, however. Don tells Robin that he got offered the job in Chicago and took it.

Marshall and Lily see another Barney doppelganger and it turns out to be Barney again. They realize that it means he wants them to have children.

Robin goes to Ted and they talk about how things have changed over five years. Ted says that we eventually become our own doppelgangers -- they look like us but are really different. She nearly kisses him but then looks at his hair and laughs.

Ted has such a good time with Royce until he takes her to a film and it's the one directed by Stella's husband. Of course, the film turns out to be about Ted and depicts him very badly. Everyone agrees that every single thing that Ted did romantically in real life was ruined in the film. At the theater, Ted doesn't understand why the audience loves the film. Royce asks him why Ted said "oh no" at the beginning of the film. He doesn't tell her about his own baggage.

Royce wants to go to the film again and everyone makes fun of the character based on Ted and he gets really upset, understandably. A little later, Marshall tells everyone that they need to realize that he is as nice as he is because of Ted. He runs to the movie theater and admits to Royce that he is the basis of the character while the movie is playing and everyone applauds as they kiss.

Marissa invites everyone to come to the party with her since Ted impressed her with his knowledge of architecture. Ted is blown away by the guests but everyone can't stand them. He wants to skip the Robots versus Wrestlers and Barney says that if he doesn't come, it is the end of his being in their group for two years.

At the Robots versus Wrestlers event Lily says she can't promise she won't be pregnant within a year. Barney is eventually okay with this notion. Meanwhile, Ted is having an amazing time with the intellectuals -- reciting Dante's Infero in Italian. Future Ted worries that he sounds like a douchebag. Just then, he gets a photo message with Mexican Wrestler Ted in it. He runs out of the party.

Ted comes back to the bar and wants to recite a poem about friendship and Robin interrupts with a farty sound. They are glad to have her back.

Monday's other plotline featured Marshall and Lily getting twin beds. Hence, the episode title. What did you guys think?

This may be the first episode of How I Met Your Mother that did not have the introduction music and titles. Ted talks about how great the home will be and everyone can't help but notice how dilapidated the house was (and rat infested as well.) Barney teases Robin about crying again and she says that he was one that cried and paid her to say that it was him.

They enjoy playing a game where they try to guess whether really stupid things that were done by the gang were done while drunk or while a child. Ted says that he has control over buying a house since he had no control over finding a wife and kids.

The house inspector tells Ted that there are dozens of extremely bad problems with the house and that he should not buy it and Ted says that he sees the house for having potential for greatness, not for having problems. He can see a life that he knows that he can have. At this point the ceiling collapses a little but nobody is hurt. (This isn't Days of our Lives, after all...)

Well, the inspector was a little hurt but not too badly. Ted admits that the house was a huge mistake. He feels everyone is moving on except for him and he is sick of it. Barney tells Ted that the reason he cried at the wedding was because he wanted to marry his mother.

Lily tells Ted that he has a great opportunity to bash the living hell out of a mistake so they all take turns attacking the wall with a sledgehammer.

Ted goes to see his mother and stepfather to give them the toast he didn't give at the wedding. A few days later, Ted finds Marshall on the deck grilling hot dogs. He tells him about some ideas that he has for the place. Future Ted tells us (and the kids) that the house in the story is the house in which they live.

Marshall says that the story wasn't exactly accurate. In fact, he was mugged by a monkey in Central Park. Everyone teases him about this. Marshall talks about how people get mugged by monkeys regularly. Robin asks Marshall to come and tell the story on television and he says he will if she won't make a joke of it.

Marshall soon reveals to Ted and Barney that he wasn't mugged by a monkey. He says he didn't want Lily to buy a gun and so he made up the story. Neither Ted nor Barney can tell if he's being truthful. Soon Marshall takes it back again and says that he was nervous and really was mugged by a monkey.

On the show, Marshall goes back and forth between saying he was telling the truth and finally decides he is going to go to bed -- so we never find out the truth. Fortunately, Ted is there with his model and they start to talk about that when the monkey crawls up on the model with a stolen doll. Weirdest ending ever.

Barney tells them that he couldn't be more miserable and tells them what happened with the woman. Ted thinks it may be down to something he read in a book that Robin is reading about not being a slut and finding a man. He starts describing flirting techniques that the woman used and Barney remembers her using them.

Barney calls her out on this and then finds out that the woman won't sleep with him until the seventeenth date. It turns out that her name is Anita and she wrote the book.

Marshall fakes a falsetto and accepts a date from Robin's coanchor. They tell her what is happening with Barney and she says that she is the one that got Anita to go after Barney. It turns out that Anita was on Robin's show and explained how her book worked. Anita says that she will break Barney. Robin doesn't make the decision to get Anita on Barney until after she heard yet another long story from Barney.

Ted says that Barney has to wrap up seventeen dates worth of romance into one megadate -- or superdate, depending on who you ask. Ted explains what a superdate is through a montage song. Barney says that it sounds gooey and romantic.

Robin tells Marshall that she cancelled her date and he wonders what happened until Ted explains that he told Robin about the date. Lily, Marshall, and Ted tell Barney that Robin has been really in mourning since he broke up with her. Barney says he is going to find her and he does at the shooting range. She says that it sucks that she never got a superdate with him. Barney tells her to ask him for anything and she asks him not to have sex with Anita.

Barney sends Robin on a superdate with Don, her coanchor and then Barney has Anita ask him why they aren't on their date and he says he can't go out with her. She keeps on lowering the number of dates to have sex with him until she says she will sleep with him that night and he still says no. This leads to her whispering something in his ear and he goes and jumps in the river.

Everyone asks Robin how the date went and she says that it went very well and of course she slept with him.

Ted says that Tiffany told him that she couldn't be with him right now. Marshall finds out through this that Lily's ex Scooter is still working at the school with Lily in the capacity of a lunch lady. Lily tells Scooter that they can not be together right now.

Future Ted informs us that Tiffany was terrible for him and Barney agreed until she came into the bar with her beautiful coworkers. Barney goes bananas when he finds out that Tiffany was a pharmaceutical sales representative.

Barney takes us through history in beautiful women in professions. It ends with pharmaceutical representatives of course. Ted asks Tiffany if she has broken up with her boyfriend and she says that she hasn't. A little later he says that she has broken up with her boyfriend.

Ted reveals that he has both strung people along and been strung along when he finds out that Tiffany got back together with her boyfriend. He gives her good foot rub advice and takes off.

Marshall trains Lily to break up with Scooter (or to get him off the hook) by using a teacup pig.

Ted accidentally proposes to the girl on his hook. Breaking up with her, it turns out, was quite brutal.

In case you have problems getting through, tonight's episode should keep you otherwise entertained. Aside from a Super Bowl spectacular, Barney is also lending on of his dates to Ted.

Meanwhile, Robin is invited to a co-worker's party -- yeah, it's just Don Frank. Remember him from "Last Cigarette Ever?"

Gordon should be coming along with a review later in the week. Meanwhile, let us know if you bothered to make the call or look up whether or not there was a real MacLaren's Bar (see Zap2It for the answer). We'd love to have some hang time with Barney fans!

Ted gets the notion that Marshall might like Jenkins but he explains that he never told Lily that Jenkins was a man. Robin comes in and a guy seems to recognize him. Ted says that he is the one being recognized. The kid comes over and is more excited about Robin than his professor.

Lily goes to the office where Marshall works and Lily does not flip out that Jenkins is a woman. Later, Marshall seems upset that she wasn't jealous. Robin says that in every relationship there is a reacher and a settler. One reaches for a better relationship and one settles for the one they have.

Robin goes to Ted's class and apparently a lot of the class watches her show and they all watch it for their weird drinking game where they take a drink every time Robin says 'but, uhm...'

Marshall asks Lily what she thinks of the reacher / settler idea and she agrees with it but doesn't think that either is the reacher. Lily finally says that she is the settler. He is outraged by this later and Ted reminds him that she seemed interested into him when they were playing skeeball. Marshall goes to the office with a plan to make Lily jealous and out of the blue, Jenkins kissed him. He runs home and tells Lily what happened and she doesn't believe him.

Robin traps the people at the bar into drinking a lot by saying 'but um' a lot. Meanwhile, Jenkins apologizes for what happens and tells Marshall she will apologize to Lily. She goes to apologize to Lily and Lily kicks her butt.

Robin and her new coworker do not hit it off so well at first but then he tells her about working on a network. She doesn't understand how nobody has seen her show. Even Lily and Marshall don't watch it.

Marshall goes outside for some fresh air and his boss offers him a cigarette. He resists at first but then the boss says that he likes to bond with people over a cigarette so he takes one.

When Marshall gets home, Lily says that she knows he had a cigarette and he says that he has had three in twenty four hours. He talks about how he used smoking to bond with his boss. Lily demands the cigarettes from him and then lights one. It turned out that she used to smoke whenever Marshall fell off the wagon.

Ted and Barney decide they need to smoke to join everyone else. Barney lists different reasons for him to smoke. Then comes the point at which they reach a breaking point. Marshall's point is when his boss has a heart attack on the roof. Everyone agrees that they must quit smoking. Robin comes up and tells everyone that she has an interview with the mayor. She goes to light up a cigarette and they stop her.

Everyone gets irritable after they have not smoked for twenty six hours. Robin snaps at her co-anchor and calls him a lazy obnoxious loser and he says that the mayor cancelled. He offers her a cigarette on the air and she turns him down at first and then takes it from him. He says if any viewers are offended, they can call the station. Soon, Robin gets a call from everyone, who tells her not to smoke. Of course, they are all on the roof smoking soon. Robin comes home and tells them that they should have their last cigarette ever then.

Future Ted tells us when everyone's last cigarette ever really were. Ted's last cigarette ever was two weeks into dating his future wife.

Barney comes out wearing the overalls over his suit and Robin makes fun of him and makes farmer jokes.

Ted's class encourages him to go out with Maggie. Barney ends up being the capable hands taking care of Maggie and he gives Ted ten minutes to get back to the bar before the window closes. Robin gets the guy who worked with Maggie to a museum to get him away from Maggie and ends up revealing that she is single. He races back to Maggie and they all argue about her and then find out that she left.

They get to her apartment and find her with her former next door neighbor who moved away when he was a kid and they were in love. Future Ted tells us that Maggie ended up getting married.

Marshall tells Lily that it has been three years and that it was enough. He reminds her of all the times that he supported her pushing people out of her lives and she says that he was horrible for twenty years. She feels that he is taking her father's side. He tells her all the positive things that her father is doing and she wonders how he knows it. It comes out that Marshall invited her father. He says that since they are married, he is his family as well so he invites her father in and she leaves.

Robin and Ted argue over who will slap Barney. It goes on for so long that Ted even says that he still loves her just to get to slap him. The argument goes on until Ted realizes that the slap is dividing them. Robin tells Ted that he can have the slap and then Barney ribs her but then part of the game Lily's father brought explodes all over the turkey. Marshall kicks her father out and he goes to find her. She tells him that she found out one of the people that she declared dead to her actually died.

Robin and Ted argue again over who gets to slap Barney and it ends up going to Lily's father, who gives it to Lily, who ends up giving it up. Marshall says that there will be no slap since they really understood the spirit of the slap and then really hits Barney hard. Lily's father ends up making a board game based on the Slap bet.

Lily talks about how she is ready to introduce Ted to a girl she has been wanting to introduce to him for ages and he is very excited. They set up a date and she never shows up. The next day, the girl explains that she met an amazing man named Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. Lily goes later and calls Barney a rather ugly expression.

Barney explains that he pulled off the Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. It involves creating a web site with ones own name and then introducing oneself to an attractive woman with a great phone. Marshall asks if anyone has seen the SNASA entry which is all about Secret Nasa.

While Lily is reprimanding Barney, he tells her about the technique he was going to use that evening called He's Not Coming. Barney comes over later and says that the girl stole his playbook and Lily says that it was because she got her to do it. She says that it was an actress and threatens to put it on ebay unless he promises never to use any of its strategies again. He soon gets back into it with the scuba diver and is soon explaining to everyone why he was wearing it. They are also encouraging a woman named Claire to get a cup of coffee with him. Lily gets a text message from Barney.

The text tells her to look under the table. There is the page of the playbook containing the Scuba Diver, which is actually a complicated plot to get Lily to help Barney together with a girl by doing basically everything she has done in the episode - getting someone to steal the playbook, putting on the scuba diving outfit, breaking down and admitting to ones insecurities etc. She calls him that very same ugly expression.