uture Ted asks why people fight and then recalls the one time he got into a fight. He talks about the unrelenting gestures of pity that he started getting after being left at the altar. Suddenly, Doug approaches the table. Future Ted tells us about Doug, who apparently has a violent streak. He was also weird about his hair, which was a toupee.
Most importantly, he was loyal to his customers. When Doug approached the table he was asking why they weren't at their normal table. He finds out that people are at their normal table so he kicks them out. He comes back and tells the guys they are going to be fighting the guys they kick out.
Robin says there are legitimate reasons to fight and thinks that scars are sexy. Marshall recalls fighting with his brothers. Ted then makes a reference to The Thing and says that it is clobberin' time. The guys go out but not Marshall. Barney says he is a man and likes to fight. They get outside and Doug has already beaten them up. Doug thanks them for their help and vows free beer for life.
Barney and Ted give each other some scrapes to make it look real and go inside, where they get a hero's welcome. Marshall says he can't believe they got into a fight and they explain what happened. Robin is apparently quite turned on. Everyone teases Marshall for not fighting and later, he gets jealous over them. Lily says he's the man every boy should become and every girl should marry. She encourages him to come to class and they also tease him.
Ted and Barney talk to women about the fight. They talk about the fight and then the girls ask them about their booth, which is occupied. The people in the booth serve them lawsuits for assault. How nice!
They show the papers to Marshall who tells them that they could be facing long prison terms, which is a lie. They admit what they did and he is super amused. Robin asks Barney to go to a hockey game and then cancels when she finds out the truth. Marshall later tells the guys that he got the lawsuit dropped but then Doug is quite angry with them. Doug tells him he obviously doesn't have his back and that's why his fiance left him. He punches Doug who punches him back.
Lily has Ted come into class and explain what happened. What he says then is that he actually had his back covered by Marshall, who readily beat up Doug. The lesson to be learned is not to fight Marshall.
We are allegedly shown the future, in which Marshall cuts up the turkey with a light saber.
-- Gordon Davidescu