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How I Met Your Mother Fodder

How I Met Your Mother - The Platinum Rule

We go all the way back to remembering Ted getting his tramp stamp in September of 2007. Everyone teases Ted but it turns out that he asked out the doctor who is removing his tattoo. Barney reminds Ted of the Golden Rule - "Love Thy Neighbor" - but the Platinum rule is to never, ever, ever love thy neighbor. Everyone wants to tell their own story. It always happens in eight steps.

Step one is attraction. Barney finds the waitress to be attractive, Marshall and Lily find the neighbors to be attractive in their own way, and Robin finds her coworker to be attractive. Barney says that at this point you think the platinum rule doesn't apply. At this point, step two occurs - compromise.

Robin talks about being attracted to the sportscaster and is reminded of the neighbors. We flash back to 2005 when Marshall and Lily want to invite the neighbors over. Barney tells them not to do it and reminds everyone of what happened when he wanted to date Wendy the waitress. We flash forward to him saying it was a huge mistake, followed by Marshall and Lily saying it was a huge mistake, followed by Robin saying that she too made a huge mistake. Ted hears this all and says it will be okay.

Ted says he and Stella are adults and they're just seeing a movie and if it gets weird, they will back off. Barney says this is when Step Three takes place - submission. We see the step between our three stories - Marshall and Lily have the neighbors over, Barney makes out with the waitress, and Robin goes to a hockey game. After being intimate, Barney asks for a gin and tonic. Flashing forward, Barney says this is step four - the perks.

Everyone talks about the perks they have - or thought they had. Robin lists her perks and Marshall and Lily talk about their perks. Barney reminds them of his perceived perks. The waitress gives Barney free nachos and after she leaves, everyone tells him not to kill the bar. We flash forward again with everyone saying "it should be fine" and then "but... it wasn't."

This is step five - the tipping point where everyone finds out the mistake they made. Robin gets scolded by her coworker, Barney can't hit on anyone else, and the neighbors keep on coming over when they are not invited.

Barney says it's time for step six - purgatory. Robin says that she feels like an idiot because her coworker keeps leaving her love notes. Marshall says he's reminded of the neighbors who keep on stalking them. Barney is reminded of when he wanted to know why he decided to hit on Wendy the waitress. He feels declawed and like a lion in a zoo. Everyone says that he will just have to marry the waitress.

Barney says it leads to a relationshipectomy which is step seven - CONFRONTATION. We see everyone confronting everyone in their own way. In any other relationship, he says, that would be it. Because of the fact that they have to see each other every day there is step eight - fallout. Robin's coworker can't seem to keep it together. Marshall and Lily's neighbors now terrify them to the extent that they won't leave their apartment and won't answer the door even when it is Ted. Wendy tells Barney she hopes they can be friends but Barney says clearly she must be trying to kill him. He slaps the burger out of Marshall's mouth. In the present, Robin says Barney isn't the expert because there has been no fallout.

Ted says that he will go out and none of Barney's stupid rules will apply. It later turns out the AMA forbids doctors to date their patients. He also says there is an unwritten ninth step - coexistence - in which the people just learn to get along fine.

-- Gordon Davidescu

Posted by Gordon on December 12, 2007 1:15 AM
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