How I Met Your Mother Fodder

How I Met Your Mother: Bachelor Party

Ted says the key to understanding Barney is that when times are hard, it's hard to keep him around but when times are good, it's hard to keep him away. In May of 2007, Barney discusses how to have a good stripper at a bachelor party. Apparently a good stripper must do things that are unspeakable. Marshall says he doesn't want strippers so Barney says this means there must be strippers.

Ted reiterates to Barney that Marshall doesn't want strippers and Barney says his inner animal says otherwise. Barney wonders if his stripper wasn't hot enough and Ted says it has nothing to do with this and he asks Barney to say there will be no strippers without winking but he can't manage.

The day arrives and we analyze the makeup of the party - the groom, the best man, the person that disappears shortly after appearing, and of course - Barney.

There is a wedding shower at the same time and Robin shows off her gift to Lily to Barney - it's aparently not daring enough for Barney. He tells her about a store that basically sells vibrators and so she goes ahead and buys one. At the party she finds that there are plenty of older people, contrary to what Barney said. Robin says she forgot something outside and struggles to not let her gift be taken but fails. One of the attendees tries to guess what it is but doesn't do a good job.

Cousin Margaret - or is it Sister Margaret - is introduced. She's not a nun yet.

Back in the SUV, the guys are trying to watch porn but end up watching a Morgan Freeman movie. Barney whips out some highly illegal cuban cigars which he says you can be arrested for smoking. Rest assured that no such cigars exist. It is soon discovered that they are not going to Atlantic City as planned but are going to Foxwoods where Ted has a whole evening planned. Barney is disappointed that the stripper he hired won't be there - only he managed to get the stripper to change locations. Barney says it's his obligation to get a woman to take off his clothes to "Here I Go Again".

Lily opens up an egg beater - and it's cordless! Robin looks over at Lily to communicate without speaking that they shouldn't open her gift. Instead of understanding, a woman goes over and gives Robin a tampon - oops, miscommunication. Suddenly, Robin changes cards with someone else so someone else will take the vibrator fall.

The strip show starts with fog and it's one minute later the stripper's ankle is broken. Now they get to go to the hospital! Everyone argues in the car since now they are missing the big fight. It is apparently history in the making, according to the radio.

Robin's present comes out and it has a card attached that said "Grandma Lois" - she thought she was giving Lily an antique sewing machine. She gives a long description that fits both a sewing machine and a vibrator.

The stripper comes out on crutches and announces her foot is broken. She is worried that she will lose her job and her children will grow up without a father because she wants to leave her husband. Barney says the show should continue and Marshall says she doesn't have to - the stripper flips out and says she is going to do it because he deserves it and the show starts not much later - it is, naturally, VERY WRONG. Everyone thinks it's sick except Barney.

Grandma continues to talk about the sewing machine and then when Lily opens the box she looks extremely disturbed. Grandma wonders what is wrong and Lily just says, "Wow." Robin finally admits that it was her fault and everyone wonders what it is and they look. One woman says it's like the one that Miranda gave Charlotte on Sex and the City. Things mellowed from there because they are apparently all fans of the show.

Barney is the only one eating at dinner. He wants to know what everyone's favorite part was. Barney can't even remember if he put out his cigar - he didn't, and so they got kicked out of the hotel. Just then, the guy that left early got back in the SUV.

Back at the bar, Robin asked why they're back early and Ted says it was Barney's fault and they reiterate the evening. Marshall wonders why they should invite Barney when he didn't even want them to get married. Robin begs to differ. He tells her not to tell but she does anyway. Apparently when Marshall thought that Barney didn't care he actually took off and went to San Francisco and told her that she would be making a huge mistake not to go back to Marshall and described in detail why. Based on this it's determined that Barney should be the best man - well, co-best man. Barney accepts this with a wink.

Lily tells Robin she can't believe her gift. They debate who should throw it out and ultimately Lily admits she wants it.

-- Gordon Davidescu

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Posted by Gordon on April 12, 2007 2:10 AM
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