How I Met Your Mother Fodder

How I Met Your Mother: Columns

No, this episode wasn't about the classic video game that really stuck it to Tetris.\n\nIn 1982, Ted wanted to build skyscrapers. Flash forward to the present, where Ted has an idea - columns. In the past and in the present, his colleagues have knocked over his ideas. As it turns out, Hammond Druthers was the one who knocked over his columns. He used to be Ted's boss until Ted designed the Spokane bank and then Ted became the boss. They used to make fun of the boss and now everything was different. \n\nHe says he used to be the guy who would encourage skipping work and now he would punish it. Robin and the others think his former boss must be good looking one. There's a \"who's the boss\" joke right in there. Ted says when he went to the big boss he said to fire everyone. Robin reminds him of what happened when she fired her makeup artist.\n\nBarney finds a painting and he builds up the excitement and it turns out to be a painting of Marshall naked.\n\nTed calls Hammond over to fire him but it's his birthday. \n\nWe finally hear the story of the painting - it goes back to 1998 when Marshall is playing on his Super Nintendo and he feels uncomfortable having Lily painting a colleague naked. Marshall realizes that the painting is missing and surmises it is at the bar. \n\nMarshall goes to the bar and can't negotiate getting it back. While Marshall is away Robin discusses how they will next use the painting and suddenly Marshall runs and grabs it. Lily says that seeing the painting makes her miss painting nudes and Barney suggests painting him.\n\nTed goes to the office and finds Hammond who has been apparently sleeping in the office. Obviously Ted can't fire him yet again.\n\nHammond gets down a bottle of whiskey as he explains that he no longer has a home because of his domestic situation. He oddly says his wife is mannish and gives him \"what he needs.\"\n\nBack at home Robin guesses Ted didn't fire Hammond - he is sleeping on the couch.\n\nLily wakes up Marshall and says she has found a way to pay for a Scotland honeymoon. He would love that, he says. Flash back to Barney saying that he has no shame gland - he has a second awesome gland. He is at the peak of his physical beauty and offers five thousand dollars. Apparently Barney is into the idea.\n\nHammond thanks Ted for putting him up but he is a jerk again at work. He pulls him aside and asks him why he is being a jerk and Hammond says they can't mix their professional and personal lives.\n\nLily begins to paint Barney and Marshall in the bar suddenly decides he doesn't want to go through with it - or does he? Actually they're just in it for more money - an extra five thousand, to be exact.\n\nTed is about to fire Hammond and a lawyer comes in and gives him divorce papers. Additionally more people want to wish him a happy birthday. Hammond falls over onto the ground and Ted thinks he is pulling something and he yells that he is fired. Minutes later EMTs wheel him out as he apparently had a heart attack.\n\nIt seems that everyone is angry at him but then he has a great idea - margarita Friday.\n\nLily finishes the painting and she tells him he can admire the painting and then she and Marshall take off - and Barney realizes that the painting is awfully Ken Doll-like. That's right, no Barnacle Junior.\n\n-- Gordon Davidescu