How I Met Your Mother Fodder

How I Met Your Mother: Swarley (AKA Crazy Eyes)

The men are waiting for something. They decide that hanging out in a coffee place is not nearly as cool as hanging out in a bar. Apparently the barista drew a heart on Marshall's cup and he thinks it's because of a pumpkin joke he made. They think it's love but he thinks she draws hearts on everyone's cups. Not so - Ted got just "Ted" and Barney got "Swarley." Everyone starts calling him this now.

Robin is talking with her mother or at least pretending to. Ted had texted her about the Swarley and tells her how Marshall asked the barista out because of a look that Ted coached him on. Lily comes by and says that she is having a wine tasting and rat catching party and feels she should invite Marshall but they tell her she has a date. She says it's okay.

Ted sits down with Barney and asks about his suit and Barney is impressed until the bartender calls out for Swarley. Marshall comes in and asks what is wrong with Swarley. He talks about his date Chloe. Ted and Swarley (Barney) say she has 'crazy eyes' and we have a fast flashback to Barney looking into her 'crazy eyes' which has quite a graphic. Barney reminisces on the last time she was with a woman with Crazy Eyes and it was a woman who wanted a threesome with a plush animal. Ted recounts a Crazy Eyes story as well.

Marshall evades the thought of this but then in the middle of a class he gets a weird phone call from her. She says she was followed by a hunchback in the rain. Apparently the boys think she is 'needy crazy'. Back in Marshall's apartment Chloe knocks over a photo and then says it was keys. He wants to look in her eyes but she blinks a lot. Suddenly Lily jumps from behind the couch and introduces herself.

Ted rewinds to three days earlier. Robin sees Barney in a bar and he goes on and on about not being called Swarley but he has a 'call me Swarley' sign on his back. Lily says she gave Robin a look that meant she can't stand the idea of Marshall being with another woman. Robin says she has crazy eyes - it's like 'jerk nails' on men. She finds out where Chloe works and goes to find her. She apparently just had left and has a pink umbrella. Lily sees her outside and tries to follow. She hits a drain pipe and suddenly hunched over. Yup, she's the hunchback. Robin tells Lily she has to let him work things out.

Upstairs there is supposed to be a surprise event for Barney. The DJ calls out a song in honor of Swarley. Barney says he likes being called Swarley and he should only be called that from now on. They try to get him to say the name but he won't - oh yes, he really hates it. Lily asks about the photo of her but it is missing. She says it's okay but in reality it's not so. She comes back later and tries to put the photo up but drops it. Looks like Chloe didn't drop the photo or knock it over. It's not much later that Lily jumps out and she excuses herself to go cry on the stoop.

Marshall comes down and asks what is going on. She explains everything. As it turns out, Chloe is not crazy - she's a normal girl. Lily tells him to go finish his date. Marshall says Lily has crazier eyes than anyone he has ever met. She keeps asking why he's not going upstairs and he says that he has missed her so much and they kiss.

Ted and Barney are walking down the street. They try to compromise on names and find Marshall and Lily in the same spot where Marshall had been crying alone. They go out to celebrate and then come back to find Chloe, whom they have forgotten. Chloe calls Robin "Rolland" on the way out and Barney tries to make a joke of this but it does not go so well. Oh, Swarley.

-- Gordon Davidescu