If you missed the episode, and I can't imagine why, you can see it here.
If you would like to read Ethan Suplee's blog...lots of insight and behind the scenes stuff, plus what Ethan likes to do when he's not being Randy.
And if you would like to check out the music used in MNIE, go here.
I'm not quite sure how to spell this, but it's the sound a cartoon character's head makes when its spins around and around and around...
Broiggedy broiggedy broiggedy broiggedy broiggedy...
This concluding episode had everything in a MNIE ep you could want. Well, maybe everything except for a Karma list item. You had yer Joy and Catalina in revealing outfits, Darnell spouting wistful words of wisdom, Randy's sweet-and-lovable-but-homicidal side showing through, and Earl dressed up in period costume for an epic Civil War GWTW-type struggle.
Let's get to recappin'!
Geraldo (or, as Earl calls him, Gerardo) Rivera is still in Camden County. All of America, he says, wants to know what happened to the Crabshack's owner, Ernie Belcher, who mysteriously disappeared eight years ago. Was it Redrum...I mean MURDER? And who's responsible?
Was it the dirt bag (Earl)? Was it the mentally disabled (Randy)? Was it the black co-worker (Darnell)? Was it the hot woman (Joy)? Was it the NASCAR driver (Michael Waltrip, whose testimony is worth that of three average Americans)? Was it the so-called celebrity (Tim Stack)? Was it Professor Plum in the Conservatory with the Candlestick?
Inside Probe does a quick recap of last week's episode.
Geraldo: Inside Probe...digs deeper...into the earth...to find the treasure chest...of the truth...of this mystery..."
Vociferously eloquent and elegantly loquacious is Mr. Rivera.
Randy has a hypotenuse...or is that hypo-theosis...let's just call it a theory. Space Aliens. Earl meanwhile is greatly enamored of Geraldo's mustache.
Earl: You put conditioner on that?
Geraldo: Yes, but you couldn't afford it.
Randy's Spave Aliens thoery is not just your typical hogwash. This is special As Seen On TV hogwash.
Seems there was a bright light in the sky the night Earnie disappeared. Lots of folks saw it, including Joy, who was selling muscle relaxants (actually old birth control pills) to one Wilfred Dierkes outside the Crabshack. Officer Stuart Daniels saw the bright light while undercover as the meat in a dance sandwich at a gay homosexual rave. Handyman Josh Martin saw the bright light too. He was just finishing up putting a new cement floor in the Crabshack's bathroom (remember this - it will become relevant...trust me) and was practically blinded. Darnell, once again, is the sole voice of sanity saying, Don't believe too much of what you hear around here.
Inside Probe goes to commercial because it was an especially good dramatic breaking point just as Darnell was about to say something most apropos in repsonse to a Geraldo question. Joy wants to know what he had been going to say, but Darnell's mouth is full, and his grand-mama taught him never to speak with his mouth full. So we go to commercial.
Almost back now...
...Aaaaand we're back.
Geraldo Rivera then explains that possibly Ernie's disappearance had something to do with events from long long ago. Apparently, during the Civil War, Camden County formed its own country, the nation of Central. Being unable to choose between industrialization or slavery, they opted for both, and even stitched up a flag. The nation of Central only lasted for about fifteen minutes before the North AND the South annihilated everyone, but their legacy remains. Ernie was a true son of the Central, and proudly flew the Central flag above the Crabshack.
Joy: The Central will rise again!
But possibly Ernie's disappearance had something to do with Ernie's side business: Producing underground kinky sex fetish videotapes. Seems everyone in Camden starred in them, including:
Joy - Repeatedly kicking Wilfred Dierkes in the gonadicals
Earl - Eating macaroni and cheese from a size eleven red pump
Catalina - Strangling Tim Stack with her long firm tanned luscious legs
Randy - Applying lipstick and crying
Tim Stack starred in several of Ernie's productions, but he has no memory of being in them. But then again, as he says, I was in (the Ferris Bueller-esque) Parker Lewis Can't Lose for three years and I can't remember that either.
But Ernie had yet an even darker side. According to Joy, he had several hidden cameras in the Crabshack's bathroom. And that's why Joy always peed in the alley.
Geraldo: Can you show me?
Joy: I don't really have to go right now.
Geraldo: I meant the cameras.
Geraldo even finds a VCR hidden behind the tampon machine. He pops out and plays the tape and we see Randy stealing tampons, Catalina secretly eating a big ol' bucket of chicken, Patty having a working lunch in a stall with three or four of Camden's upstanding citizenry, and Earl swigging stolen booze.
With Geraldo's help, let us return to Darnell's interview about the Central flag on top of the Crabshack. As Darnell relates his story, we find out that part of Darnell's duties was to lower the Central flag every night. Well, one night, he found a ne'er-do-well (in Camden? Hard to imagine, but, well, there you have it) trying to purloin the flag. In the guy's defense it wasn't actually nailed down. Darnell and the perp fought bravely, crashing the flagpole fell into the powerlines, sending a bright burst of sparks and light into the night sky, thereby creating the illusion of aliens. Orson Welles would've been proud.
While the scuffle was going on above, Ernie was in the bathroom attempting to cross the wet cement floor on the two-by-fours that Josh had set down. When the lights went out, Ernie fell into the wet cement and settled in slowly, leaving only his nose exposed.
As this gargatuan revelation is exposed on Inside Probe, the gang rushes into the bathroom to pay their last respects to Ernie's nose. Earl thought that nose was a nose-shaped door stop. Joy used the nose to wipe gum off her shoes.
Darnell: Well Ernie, the Crabshack was part of you, now you're a part of the Crabshack.
Randy: I forgive you for the no toothpicks, but I'll never forgive you for the fish wings.
Randy squeezes Ernie's nose shut - just in case Ernie's still breathing under there, and gives his best Tony-Soprano-squeezing-Christopher's-nose impression.
I would like to take this opportunity to pont out that when we frst see the bathroom from the hidden camera viewpoint, there was no nose protruding from the floor. Bit of a production gaffe I would say.