If you missed the episode, and I can't imagine why, you can see it here.
If you would like to read Ethan Suplee's blog...lots of insight and behind the scenes stuff, plus what Ethan likes to do when he's not being Randy.
And if you would like to check out the music used in MNIE, go here.
Last week a mystery of epic proportions was cleared up by Geraldo Rivera and Inside Probe probing deeply, searching for the truth behind the mystery beneath the conundrum of Crabshack owner Ernie Belcher's disappearance. Somebody better get Geraldo back in town because baby o baby we got another mystery beyond human conception...um...I mean comprehension.
Let's get to recappin'!
There's a special day every year at Dodge's school that parents are invited to come in and talk about their careers. They call it Career Day. This year, it's Darnell's turn. He's practicing because he's a little nervous. Very educational is Darnell's speech. Who knew there was a difference between the five A.M. seafood one could obtain at the local fish market and the 11:30 A.M. stuff. Not Earl, that's for sure. And oh yeah, Darnell also used to work for a clandestine government agency. But certainly nobody's interested in that.
Joy comes in and announces that there's something they all have to talk about. It has to do with Career Day and Dodge. Dodge wants Old Daddy (Earl) to do the Career Day thing. Earl just doesn't know how - he doesn't know anything about Darnell's job. But he owes Dodge; specifically, # 174 - Ruined Dodge's Career Day.
In 2005, Earl dressed up as a world-famous doctor and brought an x-ray machine to Dodge's classroom. He would've gotten away with it except for Billy's dad the cop who got a radio call about two Caucasian males with a stolen x-ray machine.
So Earl does the Career Day thing. Earl is the Chief List-Maker and List-Doer. His delivery is flawless and compelling, poignant and charismatic. But a perceptive girl in the class wants to know why, if Dodge's step-dad is black, why Dodge doesn't at least spend weekends with real-dad Earl. In answer, Earl's voice goes up an octave or two in his trademark I'm Not Lying voice.
Back at the trailer, Earl tells Joy that it's just not fair to Dodge that he not know who his father is. Joy explains that she can't tell her son that she can't remember some random sex with a random drunk in a random bathroom stall at a Molly Hatchett concert. Whoa there, Nelly, says Earl. You told me that it was at a Ronnie James Dio concert. And Darnell says, You told me it happened behind a concession stand. All right, Joy says. You want to know the real truth? (And you thought we needed Geraldo...) Dodge's real dad is...Little Chubby.
Yeah, that's right. Dodge is heir to the most powerful family in Camden, owners of everything from Club Chubby to the dry cleaners to the Bar-B-Q hut. Why, they even do SAT prep.
High School Kid: Chubby's tutorials are to SAT prep as Chubby's is to erections.
Joy tried to tell Little Chubby (played with his usual aplomb by Norm MacDonald) that he was the father of her unborn child. But another woman cut in front of her in the You're My Baby's Daddy line. Little Chubby whipped out a bus ticket and a gun and let that other woman choose. Greyhound never looked so good. Joy kept her pie-hole shut and decided to raise Dodge on her own. So she married the first flannel-wearing walking mustache she could get her hands on.
Earl tries to explain to Joy that Little Chubby isn't like that anymore ever since Earl kicked him in the balls. By knowing who his father is, Earl says, Dodge's life could be better.
Earl (to Joy): You love ball stories.
Earl and Randy go to Club Chubby to tell Little Chubby about his son. Little Chubby invites the boys into his sanctum sanctorum and explains that he's no longer a nice guy. Ever since he had those bull testicles inserted in his otherwise flaccid man-marble sack, he's become his old self again.
Little Chubby: I'm a douchebag again.
Earl (to Little Chubby) : You have a kid.
Little Chubby: That woman was on the pill.
Earl: I didn't even tell you who she was.
Little Chubby flashes the gun in his waistband, and Earl and Randy beat feet.
So Earl and Randy go dumpster diving, looking for some of Little Chubby's DNA in the Club Chubby dumpster. They're looking for a cigar butt or some hair, but all Randy can find is a bunch of little balloons with mayo in them. That's when the gun shots start pinging of the macadam, and Earl and Randy, once again, beat feet.
The police are no help. In fact, ever since Little Chubby bought the mayor and the chief of police, they have orders to arrest anyone filing a complaint against Little Chubby.
So it's Last Resort time. Unable to get Little Chubby's DNA, Earl and Randy figure out that they can just as well use Big Chubby (Burt Reynolds) 's DNA. All they have to do is dig him up. Looking like Gene Wilder and Marty Feldman in Young Frankenstein, Earl and Randy exhume Big Chubby. But they accidentally set the corpse on fire thanks to the 21 Shot Salute Big Chubby was drenched in before he was buried.
So the boys go home to the Palm Motel to take a shower and get the smell of Barbecued Chubby out of their nostrils. But Little Chubby bought the motel to get back at Earl and renamed it (the Earl's A Homo Inn), so now Earl and Randy are homeless. And broke. Earl goes to the nearest automatic ATM machine, but Little Chubby owns the bank too, so no dough. Things are looking grim.
To the rescue comes Darnell. Joy may not have been listening to Earl's pleas, but Darnell sure was. Darnell would like his boy Dodge to have access to some of the finer things in life. Like shoes. Relying on his covert days in the CIA, and as a plumber, and in the circus, Darnell waits for Little Chubby to drop a deuce, and surreptitiously obtains a few samples of Little Chubby's pubic hair. From below.
Darnell: I had to do the same thing to Castro.
Little Chubby: That bastard pulled a Castro on me.
Earl stole the Turner's toothbrushes to provide a comparison for the DNA lab. A short while later, Catalina brings the test results to Earl, and...
...Nobody saw this coming...
...Joy lied again.
According to the DNA test results, Little Chubby is not Dodge's father. Joy is mystified. She remembered that Halloween party clearly. She dressed up as Monica Lewinsky, and, passing up several golden opportunities, she eventually got liquored up and grabbed the first masked skeleton she found. Well, actually, the second masked skeleton. Little Chubby was the first.
Who was the second masked skeleton?
Earl asks, Wait - was that the year Fat Steve dressed up as the Kool-Aid guy and broke his nose running into a wall? Yeah, says Joy. That skeleton was me, says Earl, I'm Dodge's father.
Holy Misconception, Batman!
And as if that wasn't bad enough, Darnell is reading the DNA test results. Turns out three of the samples (from the toothbrushes) match. That would be Joy and the boys. But the fourth is a no-match. That means that Darnell is not related to either of the boys. Not even Earl Jr.
Joy: Okay everybody...just calm down.
And we end the season with a big ol' To Be Continued.
End Note - Usually, the Friends of Garcia production company logo features a friend or fan of the show, wearing the beaded over-sized Greg Garcia sombrero. This episode featured a Mr. Jason Lee, with eyes closed and half a mustache. Nicely done, gentlemen. Nicely done.
Anyway, that's it for this season of My Name Is Earl. Be sure to stop by now and again. I'll be posting news and other items of MNIE cast-related tidbits.