My Name is Earl Fodder

My Name Is Earl: Darnell Gets Outed

Boy, was this episode a doozie. It had everything I like about this show: a hard-to-solve list item for Earl, plenty of Joy and Darnell, Catalina in her Club Chubby outfit, Randy singing opera, Erik Estrada, and a to-be-continued at the end. Let's get to recappin'!

The ep opens with Darnell taking a snoozer on his couch. Joy comes in toting groceries, and she's immediately pissed because the trailer's a big messy mess. She's also irked because whenever Darnell naps the whole neighborhood takes it as an opportunity to drop off their young'uns for some free babysitting. Cherubic Deaf Oliver under the laundry basket sure could use some cheese crunchies.

Over at the Palm Motel, Randy's clicking up and down the TV dial looking for something to watch when he happens upon an old episode of CHiPs.

Let it be the one with the robot let it be the one with the robot let it be the one with the robot, says Earl. It isn't. It isn't even CHIPs. It's a new reality game show starring the immensely talented Erik Estrada in a new series called Estrada Or Nada. The idea behind the show being the contestants challenge Mr. Estrada to a variety of talents and abilities such as hotdog eating, fencing, mathing, lumberjacking, violining, and sewing.

And behold wonder of wonders they're going to be holding tryouts in Camden County next week! This gives Earl the chance to make right # 31 - Ruined Joy's Chance Of Being On TV.

Flashback: Back in the early days of Joy and Earl's marriage, Joy had her heart set on getting on Fear Factor. To the strains of BTO's You Ain't Seen Nothin' Yet, she put herself through the 12 Labors of Hercules for her audition tape (my favorite was licking the batteries) only to have her beloved husband blow the tape to smithereens with a shotgun. Earl was wise enough at the time to keep that little tidbit of information to himself.

So Earl tells the whole story to Joy. She's mighty upset, but her heart just isn't in it. She'd given up on that dream long ago, Joe Rogan's failure to call her to be on FF was the final straw.

Flashback: Very Young Joy is being tucked into bed by her grandmother. Joy tells grandma about her dream of being on TV and famous. But Grandma informs Joy that she "...comes from a long line of liars, cheats, and harelips..." so she'd do well to get rid of those dreams as soon as possible. But Young Joy ain't one to give up that easily.

Cue Journey's Any Way You Want It. Looking into her mirror, Young Joy dreams of becoming Miss America for two years running because none of the other contestants are pretty enough. Fast forward to teenage Joy (quite the cutie) running for class president. She might've won too, and not just the hottie vote, if she hadn't courted the votes of the "...fat girls, nerdy Asians, butter-faced cheerleaders, and closeted homosexuals..." Back looking into her mirror, Teen Joy fantasized about becoming President of the United States for two years running. Adult Joy gazes admiringly into her own image and fantasizes about getting an award for being the most unafraid contestant ever on FF.

After hearing Joy's tale of woe, Earl realizes that it wasn't just that Joy wanted to be on Fear Factor, but he killed Joy's dream of being on TV and famous. Randy, meanwhile, is practicing for his own audition to get on Estrada Or Nada, trying to snatch 50 pennies off of his elbow. Oops, maybe better try 49.

Joy looks deep into her soul, and a whole lot of mirrors, and overnight she reconsiders her decision. It'd be a short episode if she didn't. Next morning, Joy bursts into Earl and Randy's motel room and tells Earl Okay, let's get 'er done. Randy has given up on the penny-snatching, and is singing the Libretto from Verdi's Rigoletto. Or some such. Opera's never really been my strong suit. And not doing too badly might I add. Joy's way impressed. He's good, she says, I better practice. Hope they have a cuckolding category or Joy's chances aren't looking too good.

Finally, the day of the auditions arrives. The whole gang is standing in line, and the man with the headset and clipboard is handing out numbers. 297, 298, Catalina gets 299 (sure-fire machete act), Randy gets 300, and that's it. No more auditions. Randy reluctantly gives up his number for Joy, but only if Earl will do an item on his list for Randy like right now, no wait-sies. Randy picks # 182 - Played Tetherball with Randy's Face. Turnaround she is a bitch. Cut to the playground. Randy serves up the tetherball into Earl's face. Earl falls to the pavement. That's one, says Randy.

Back at the auditions, the ventriloquist (with the Hitler dummy) 's chances gets the thumbs down. The midget in the policeman's uniform on the little motorcycle (MicroCHiPs) gets a big thumbs up. Couldn't really argue with either of those calls. We never do get to see Catalina's audition, but I'm sure it was spectacular.

After a brief intro from erstwhile American Idol host Brian Dunkleman ("Dunkleman out!"), it's Joy's turn.

Joy takes the stage, puts her feet behind her head, and announces herself as the Crustacean Sensation. I didn't know she was that flexible when we were married, says Earl. I did, says Darnell. Joy starts singing These Claws Were Made For Walkin', but immediately gets gonged by the All Star panel of judges. It's just too silly, says Dunkleman. Never one to take no for an answer, Joy picks up her boombox and whacks Dunkleman upside the head and proceeds to pummel him into a bloody stain. Darnell leaps on stage to pull his rabid wife off of the hapless and helpless Dunkleman.

Back at the Crabshack, the lightly-soused crowd is watching Estrada Or Nada on the tube. They show Joy's audition-slash-A&B, and Darnell's face is clearly in focus. A cell phone rings. Everyone looks around to see who's phone is ringing. Darnell reaches into his hair, pulls out his Aph-rone, and says, "Go for Darnell." He listens briefly, sets down the phone, and it spontaneously combusts. His Witness Protection cover blown, Darnell and his loved ones gotta get gone and I mean like now.

Darnell tells Joy they have just enough time to leave some lip balm for the still-lost Mr. turtle, get their clothes, medicine, and his grandmother's lemon square recipe before the grabbers come to get them. Earl's truly sorry. He realizes that he is the reason that Joy and Darnell gotta split, and that he turned Joy's dream into a nightmare. Yeah, Dummy, says Randy, filling in for Joy.

All of a sudden, the lights go out, and there's a couple of dull thumps. A couple of dull thumps named Earl and Randy to be precise. The boys wake up on the floor with darts in their necks only to find Joy, Darnell, and the boys gone.

Earl is determined to find them. Randy notices there's a little bit of liquid still in his dart. He sucks out the night-night juice and flops face-first into the dirt.

Before we roll credits, we're treated to an ominous TO BE CONTINUED...

---

Posted by Randy Welk on January 16, 2009 12:15 PM
Permalink |






More Recent Stories:
• My Name Is Cancelled?
• My Name Is Earl: Dodge's Dad
• My Name Is Earl: Inside Probe Part II
• My Name Is Earl: Inside Probe Part 1
• My Name Is Earl: Gospel
• My Name Is Earl: Bullies
• My Name Is Earl: Pinky
• My Name Is Earl: Crazy Witch Lady
• My Name Is Earl: Chaz Dalton's Space Academy
• My Name Is Earl: My Name Is Alias