My Name is Earl Fodder

My Name Is Earl: Little Bad Voodoo Brother

It's Halloween in Camden County...well, I guess it's Halloween pretty much everywhere, and Randy has the perfect idea: He and Earl are going to go as two sun-burned guys. That's much funnier than one sun-burned guy, isn't it? Joy could use a hand with this darn coffin lid that just won't fit right. Earl's no dummy, unless you're talking to Joy. He knows that as soon as he steps over to the coffin that something or somebody is going to pop outta there. And chances are it ain't gonna be no stripper.

Although, if it were Catalina... Never mind.

Right idea, wrong storage device. As Earl and Randy back away from the coffin, from out of the garbage toter behind them springs a ghastly sight - a masked horror! A quick jab to the chin by Earl and the masked horror is down. Taking off the mask, Darnell just knew this was a bad idea.

Joy's amusement notwithstanding, she tells Earl that this Halloween he has to take care of # 94 - Ruined Dodge and Earl Jr.'s Halloween. I dunno. Dressing them up as a cowboy and Indian and having a mob incite them to a death match looked scary to me. So Joy tells Earl that he has to make it up to the boys and everyone who spent that fateful night looking for two frightened midget Village People.

At the Crabshack, Earl has borrowed One-eyed Willie's eye (the fake one, not the good one) for the punch bowl. Catalina is entertaining a young guest, her nephew Oh-scar. Like Randy says, It's like Oscar, but with an Oh. Oh-scar, it seems, arrived yesterday in a wooden crate. Darnell is convinced that someone in Customs is simply not doing their job. Randy is inspired by Catalina's young relative, and reminds Earl that Earl cost Randy a little brother of his very own. Not to get into it too deeply, but thanks to Earl 1. Dad got himself fixed, and B. Randy can no longer taste salt. Darnell suggests that Randy try the local Big Bro's, Little Bro's. They match up little needy boys with older unmarried men. It's a win-win!

At the local BB, LB's, Randy survives the interview (barely), and is in the home stretch of getting a Little Bro but stumbles at the finish line. How was he to know that kids in wheelchairs don't play kickball?

Randy's despondent over the situation. Earl suggests that Randy could get a pet...or maybe how about a nice plant, silk preferably? Catalina shows up in her work clothes (shorty skirt, sequined bra, thigh-high white leather boots...ararhagrhghrgahrg), and suggests that Randy take on cute little Oh-scar. Earl pushes the silk plant angle, but Randy figures out that Earl doesn't think that Randy is capable of taking care of living things. Possibly it was Earl's high-pitched lying voice that gave it away? Much like the how-many-licks-does-it-take-to-get-to-the-center-of-a-Tootsie-pop thing, we may never know. But Randy's gonna be Oh-scar's big bro. One sees little good that can come from this.

Earl has Halloween party business to tend to, and he can't be Randy's big bro right now. He's prepping props for the Pimmit Hills Trailer Park Halloween Party. A sex doll wrapped in toilet paper is a sure-fire hit. Just ask Joy: "Is that double-ply?" But it would make for a poor Pin The Tail On The donkey target. Randy walks in with Oh-scar. Oh-scar's gotta drop a dos. Today's lesson - Dos is Spanish for poo. As Oh-scar walks past a table he snags the tip money that's just lying there all unguarded and everything. So Randy's gotta have a stealing-is-bad talk with the sticky-fingered little man.

Randy sits Oh-scar down and tells him that he has to return the money and apologize. Oh-scar ain't having it. Don't tell me what to do, says Oh-scar, and then he goes all trance-y white eyeball-y and speaking-in-tongues-y. Randy freaks out. That's when Earl shows up in a Hawaiian shirt and Detroit Tigers baseball cap and toting a Fararee sign for the El Camino. Look at me - I'm Magnum P.I.! Nice impression if I do say so myself.

Earl doesn't believe in the voodoo mumbo-jumbo (gumbo maybe, mumbo-jumbo not so much). He gives Oh-scar the speech, but Oh-scar blows some eye-burning powder in Earl's eyes and that ends that. Earl and Randy see Catalina, and they go after her. Oh-scar is her responsibility, isn't he? Hell no, she doesn't want anything to do with him either. Oh-scar channels her dead grandmother, and that's just weird.

Back at the trailer park, Earl's Halloween party is in full swing. That dead body over by the entrance is sure realistic-looking, says Earl. What dead body over by the entrance?, asks Darnell. Joy, dressed as Barbie (she taped over her nipples), tries to tell Oh-scar what to do. Oh-scar no likey. He goes all freaky pre-pubescent voodoo priest on Joy, and she flashes back to when she was a young girl and her babysitter cursed her ("You will become pregnant before you are married...") for stealing cigarettes.

Earl's getting upset now. He tells Oh-scar to knock it off with the phony baloney voodoo junk. Oh-scar looks up at Earl with those big puppy dog eyes that only the truly young and innocent can muster and asks Earl why he thinks Karma is real but voodoo is fake. About this time, Joy has whomped up a Frankenstein's-monster-hunting-type mob and is looking to burn a castle or two. Darnell goes outside to quell the mob and plunked (by Joy) with a rock. Randy isn't about to let anybody hurt his little bro, so he goes out to protect Oh-scar and fulfill his fantasy of fighting 30 people. Earl goes outside to protect HIS little bro and gets a pumpkin to the head.

And that reminds me of the old joke: What do Camden County residents do on Halloween? Pumpkin. Sorry, but it had to be done.

Things are just about to get out of hand when Earl sees his list on the ground. Cue Mötley Crüe's Shout At The Devil. Earl crosses off Cost Randy A Little Brother just as Joy and Co. burst into the trailer. There, they see little Oh-scar holding a knife to a voodoo doll that looks like Stripper Barbie, but is actually Joy. But Oh-scar has no evil intent. He's just cutting up the pumpkin pie for the party. Seeing the good in Earl and Randy made Oh-scar want to be good and join in all the reindeer fun.

Earl's Halloween party is a success, and Earl is able to cross off # 94. Two in one day - good on ya, Earl.

Cue Warren Zevon's Werewolf in London. ("Werewolf" "There, wolf...") Earl and Oh-scar are talking, and Earl tells Oh-scar that Karma really came through for them that time. And Oh-scar tells Earl that it was voodoo. Agreeing to disagree, Earl says that whatever works, works. Then Joy comes up and tells Earl that due to her leadership and mob-inciting abilities she's considering running for mayor. And just like that, Season Five of My Name Is Earl is born.

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Posted by Randy Welk on October 31, 2008 12:26 PM
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