My Name is Earl Fodder

My Name Is Earl: Get a Real Job

Watch the full episode here.

This historic episode of MNIE utilizes Scratch-and-Sniff cards in TV Guide. Did you get yours? Smell-o-rama was last done by John Waters in his 1981 film Polyester, which, coincidentally, was shot in Baltimore, Maryland, right in the general geographic area where a certain Greg Garcia grew up and went to college. Oddly enough, John Waters previously guest starred as a Funeral Director in the episode titled Kept a Guy Locked in a Truck. But the coincidences don't stop there. Oh no, not by a long shot. Ethan Suplee starred in the football movie Remember the Titans (with Denzel Washington), and several of this week's guest stars were in the movie Rudy, one of my favorite movies. Also appearing in Rudy? Previous guest star Jon Favreau from the episode titled O Karma Wherefore Art Thou?

And TV Fodder would like to extend a belated congratulations to Ethan Suplee and his wife Brandy Lewis on the birth of their daughter, Billie Grace, on March 28. That said, let's get to the recappin'!

The ep opens with Earl and Randy in bed. The sun is up, the alarm is going off, and it’s the boys’ first day of work at their new jobs. Earl wakes, but Randy’s still sleeping and dreaming of playing the slots in Vegas. Or maybe hoisting a mainsail. Or maybe just wanking it. In any case, it’s time to grab your socks and, in Randy’s case, drop your brother’s Hello Vicar, and…

Steve Martin and John Candy in Planes, Trains, and Automobiles comes to mind.

Earl is just as uncomfortable with this horrific development as we are so let’s move along and never discuss it again.

Last week, as you may recall, Earl decided that he needed to start living like an adult and not some perennial college student. So he (and Randy) went back to school, and Earl got his G.E.D. Randy drew some nice pictures of a sailboat and an elf. Anyway, that was part A of Earl’s master plan. Part B is Get A Job.

Cut to Earl and Randy standing in front of an Equine Removal Service truck. There are some horse hooves sticking up in the air (a la Animal House), and the crane is busted. Earl fires up the chainsaw. Randy faints. Might be time to get a new job that doesn’t involve dismemberment and/or corpse relocation.

Cue Scratch-n-Sniff Card #1. It was supposed to smell like detergent. I scratched, I sniffed, I got nothin’ from #1.

Earl and Randy get jobs loading and unloading trucks at Waadt Appliance. As a former dock-worker, I can tell you that when their new supervisor Reggie (played by Charles Dutton, who's starred in Alien, Roc, Rudy) describes their job duties as, “When a truck comes in, we unload it. Before a truck goes out, we load it,” he pretty much nailed it.

Earl quickly realizes that having a job is not nearly as glamorous as it sounds. Earl and Randy are regular nine-to-fivers now. No sign of Dolly Parton, but the owner, Mr. Waadt (played by Chelcie Ross who's starred in Major League, Rudy), asks that at the start of every day the boys rub his mother’s bust. Fortunately, his mother’s bust is a plaster replica of his mother’s head so there’s no groping of saggy breastageworks. So we can dial down the ewww factor.

While all of this is going on, Joy is getting her own little dose of reality. She and Darnell are shopping for punch when they run into Joy’s lawyer’s assistant. Or, as Joy calls him, her “…deaf lawyer’s word talker…” He’s with his wife, who, in Joy’s opinion, looks old enough to be his mother (one can only hope she doesn’t get her bust rubbed every day). He wonders why they bought so much punch ("...somebody at the trailer park getting baptized?"), and tells Joy that she probably shouldn’t have bought so much punch as she may not be around to drink it. Joy’s not worried, she tells lawyer dude. After all, her witness is dead. That’s true, you ignorant felonious blond white trash trailer park baby incubator, but there’s plenty of other evidence, and you never rushed for over two thousand yards or won the Heisman Trophy. Darnell asks Joy if they should return some of the punch. Joy tells him that they can’t because she’s already wrapped her gum in it and threw it away just like she did with the receipt for the entertainment center that caused her to get into this mess in the first place. Joy really needs to employ the Chewbacca defense.

Back to Earl and Randy at the appliance store. Reggie is explaining to them that a job at Waadt Appliance comes with several perks. You get a store credit card, a week of vacation, and a 401k that the company will match whatever you put into it. Randy wants to put a puppy into his.

Cue Scratch-n-Sniff Card #2. Smells like cookies...Oreo's to be exact…Earl and Randy are eating cookies @ lunch…nice product placement.

Earl and Randy and the dock crew (including Billy Gardell who played Billy on Yes, Dear; and Jonathan Slavin as returning character Doug) are folding boxes and talking snacks. Like I said, I’m an ex-dockworker. We talked snacks a lot. We talked about women a lot too, but not as much as we talked about snacks. Randy is telling a delightful anecdote about how when he was a child he used to eat the Arm & Hammer baking soda out of the fridge but it just never filled him up. It may have kept his innards nice and clean-smelling and maybe kept his teeth white, but it never truly satisfied his sweet-but-meaty inner man-child. Earl wonders how any job that can be mastered on your first day can truly be satisfying.

Enter next guest star – Sean Astin (starred in Lord of the Rings, Rudy). Sean plays Rick (I’d swear his nametag said Rudy), a jerk of a salesman in the appliance store showroom. He hollers back to Earl to bring up a floor model. Earl pushes through the plastic curtain and is stunned to see such a magnificent place as the store’s showroom. “The back smelled like B.O.," Earl says, "but the showroom smelled like…"

Cue Scratch-n-Sniff Card #3. "...Cinnamon buns."

To the strains of Norman Greenbaum’s Spirit in the Sky, Earl discovers a brave new world. A world of Oxford shirts and ties and fluorescent lighting and hair gel and braided belts and air conditioning that “…feels like Frosty the Snowman blowing kisses up my coveralls.” (Editor's note - In the movie Dogma, Jason Lee's character Azrael states that there is no greater pleasure than air conditioning.)

Just like when Earl drank chocolate milk and decided to live his life with a mustache, he wants to work up front.

Earl asks Reggie how one gets to work up front. Reggie tells him that no one has ever moved from the back to the front. Those guys out there, Reggie tells Earl, went to junior college. And not just any junior college, they went to South Nathanville Junior College, the Harvard of Camden-area junior colleges.

The dockworkers explain the facts of life to Earl and Randy. The guys in front call the guys in back "dockers" because they work on the dock. And the guys in back call the guys in front "dickeys" because that's what they are. The "ironical" part of the whole thing is that the guys in front wear Dockers pants, and the guys in back wear Dickies clothing. “You’re a docker,” Reggie tells Earl. “You’re one of us.” Earl sadly molests Mrs. Waadt’s bust.

Back at Pimmit Hills Trailer Park, Joy is holding a yard sale. If she’s going to the big house, Darnell and her boys are going to need some money. Why, she’s even sold the car and the porch. Probably shoulda told Darnell before he fell out the front door.

Joy meets up with Catalina at the Crabshack. If she’s going to prison, she’s going to need to learn how to speak to the Latinas. She already knows how to speak Black, and she’s not afraid of Asians. Ever the helpful and lovely soul, Catalina tells Joy to go up to the biggest lady and say, “Buenos dias. Estoy aqui para ser tu perra.” Now I only had two years of high school Spanish, and I know what that means. Joy’s Spanish is practically non-existent, but she heard the word “bitch” in there, and that's a word that she’s familiar with in any language.

Earl is assisting Mr. Waadt in the showroom. When Earl closes a sale, Mr. Waadt is impressed. Earl tells him that he’d like to become a salesman. Mr. Waadt tells Earl that you don’t become a salesman, you’re born a salesman. Except for those people who learn how to become salesmen. Show me you want it, Mr. Waadt tells Earl, and I’ll think about it.

In the backroom, Earl is sweeping up. The other dockworkers are eating lunch.

Cue Scratch-n-Sniff Card # 4. Randy is munching on popcorn.

Reggie tells Earl to put down the broom, and grab some chair. Earl says that he wants to become a salesman. The other dockers mock him. Oooh, look at Mr. Get Ahead, they say. Earl tells them that he wants to be one of those guys who works to get ahead. Reggie tells Earl that if Earl becomes a dickey that he’ll no longer be a docker. Earl determinedly resumes sweeping. The dockers finish their lunch and drop their litter for Earl to sweep up. Randy tells Earl that he just wants to fit in with the guys. He sprinkles his popcorn all over the floor and leaves Earl alone with his Karma-brand push broom and Rush’s Working Man.

The next day, Earl breaks into the appliance store two hours before it opens. Mr. Waadt comes in and finds Earl polishing the showroom floor. Even though someone has written “Turd” on his locker, Earl is determined. He's even learning the inventory. I'd like to learn a little more about the box behind Earl that read, "Special TV Microwave Computer." Like to get me one of those. And for all of his efforts, now his locker reads, "Big Turd Face." Harsh language that.

But Earl will not be denied. He even uses a plunger to repair a dented dryer. I wonder if that will work on my car. Mr. Waadt is impressed. So are the dockers. Earl's locker now reads, "I Love Big Turd Faces." One sees Randy's handiwork in this. But inside Big Turd's locker is …you guessed it…the official Waadt Appliances yellow shirt and tie. Earl has done it. He set a goal and accomplished it. Even I felt a true moment of pride. But that's just the first half of the ball game. If Earl wants to stay a salesman, Mr. Waadt tells him, he's going to have to sell $5,000 worth of appliances by Sunday night. Earl asks Mr. Waadt to tie his tie for him. Earl is Windsorly-challenged. All the dockers shake their heads and walk away. Randy tells Earl that he's proud of him, and then spits at Earl's feet and joins the other dockers.

Back at Pimmit Hills TP, Joy has a surprise for Darnell.

Cue Scratch-n-Sniff Card # 5. New Car Smell.

Joy has purchased - using the proceeds from the yard sale - a life size Joy-look-alike love doll for her man Darnell. It becomes even more lifelike when you immerse it in a hot tub or microwave the head. Darnell appreciates the new car smell of his latex lover, and tells Joy so. But he also likes the smell of bacon (who doesn't?) but he's not going to fornicate it. Can't argue with the man's logic.

It's Earl's first day as an appliance salesman, and the South Nathanville JuCo alums are not happy with Earl in their midst.

Cue Scratch-n-Sniff Card # 6. Cologne.

Rick and his cohorts (one of whom was played by Sean's brother, Mackenzie Astin; and Fred Stoller (who was featured in The Norm Show with Norm MacDonald aka Little Chubby) are going to make sure that Earl fails. Rick even snips Earl's freshly tied tie. An ever resourceful Earl staples it back together. But a stapled tie does not a salesman make. Earl is just about to make some sales, but gets his legs cut out from under him by Rick and, yes, I hate to say it, Randy. Earl snaps at Randy for blowing the sale, and Randy tells Earl that there will be no more early-morning Johnson-honking for one Earl J. Hickey.

Darnell wakes up feeling frisky. He rolls over and woos Joy with a smooth, "Hey baby, how 'bout it?"

Cue Scratch-n-Sniff Card # 5. New Car Smell.

But Joy's not interested. One might be fooled by the lascivious look on her face, but Darnell is not fooled for long. The blond hair, the o-shaped mouth, the new car smell… Real Joy has been replaced by plastic love doll Joy. Darnell gives his best impression of Jack Woltz (sans blood). But the surprises are not over for Darnell. On the coffee table is a videotape from Joy. She has skee-daddled and headed down south to Old Mexico. The yard sale was to get her some travelling money, and the old "love doll in the bed" ploy was to buy her some getaway time. Cue the Allman Brothers Band's Midnight Rider. Joy was trying to learn Spanish from Catalina not so she wouldn't get the snot beat out of her in prison, but that so she could order cold beer ("Una cervesa fria, por favor") and find the bathroom ("¿Donde esta el baño?") in Meh-heeco. Darnell gazes longingly out the window and says, "Go, Baby, go."

Cue Scratch-n-Sniff Card # 6. Cologne.

It's Sunday afternon, and Earl has yet to make a sale. Even borrowing Randy's 1980's keyboard tie has failed to impress the clientele. Rick tries to help one elderly customer, but when she pulls a coupon out of her purse, he hands her off to Earl. The little old lady surprises everyone when she pulls out a shopping list of appliances that she's buying for her church. Earl hugs her and calls her an "…angel in a tiny wrinkled package." He just might make his $5,000 sales goal after all.

Earl kicks the sale right through the uprights and goes to the backroom to get the lady's appliances. But the dockers refuse to help. All of the items that Earl is looking for are still in the truck. And it's raining. Earl begs for help, but he's on his own. Even Randy hides his face. Cue the Rudy soundtrack. So Earl mans up and starts hauling in the goods all by himself. Refrigerators, stoves, dishwashers, microwaves… A determined Earl is a formidible Earl. Reggie is impressed saying, "In all my years I've never seen a dickey pull his own stuff." Earl accidently drops a box, spreads his arms, and looks upward, beseeching Karma, if not for help, than just to not get in his way. Tim Robbins would've been proud.

Earl finally gets all of the lady's appliances together only to find out that she has transferred her sale to Rick because he's willing to give half of his commission to her church. Earl loses the sale, the lights go off, and the front door is locked. Game over. South Nathanville Junior College 7, Earl 0.

Earl hangs his head. He's done. He gave it his best effort and failed. He should've listened to Homer Simpson: "You tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try."

But a gruff voice in the dark tells Earl not to give up on his dreams. Reggie (aka Fortune from Rudy) delivers his "don't be a wuss" speech from Rudy practically word-for-word ("…yer six foot something…one hundred and something pounds…"). Damn, that was good speechifying. But this time I think he actually meant it.

Earl goes to Mr. Waadt's office and lays his tie and name tag on the desk. Mr. Waadt grudgingly accepts. He knows the effort that Earl has put in. There's a knock at the door. Reggie enters, lays his employee store credit card on the desk, and tells Mr. Waadt that he wants to buy a fridge from Earl. All the other dockers come in and lay their cards on the desk and tell Mr. Waadt that they too want to buy appliances from Earl. Randy wants to buy a washer/dryer for and from his brother.

Soon, Waadt's desk is covered with little credit card-sized Notre Dame football jerseys. Earl is hoisted onto the shoulders of the dockers and they leave the field victorious. Earl cross off #273 Subtask B.

Joy, meanwhile, has found gainful employment in Mexico. Machete in hand, she's looking at a set of horses hooves. "Oh, chasquido," Joy says. FTB.

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Tags: My_Name_Is_Earl Jason_Lee Ethan_Suplee Jaime_Pressly Nadine_Velazquez Eddie_Steeples Greg_Garcia John_Waters Sean_Astin Charles_S_Dutton Chelcie_Ross

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Posted by Randy on May 3, 2007 11:54 PM
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