My Name is Earl Fodder

My Name Is Earl: Kept A Guy Locked In A Truck

This episode kind of missed hitting on a cylinder or two. Yes, Catalina finally returns, but she isn't used nearly enough. Of course, if the camera stayed on her 24/7 that probably still wouldn't be enough in my opinion. Almost, maybe. But we get introduced to a new character named Slow Roger who has some potential, and we have closure (sorry for that) on Joy's kidnapee, Josh. So let's have at it!

The episode opens with Earl getting stuck in the bathroom (the doorknob pulls out) again. He says he's been getting stuck in places a lot lately. Randy can't help him, Earl says, because it's Saturday, and on Saturdays Randy listens to the Top 40 Countdown. He's rocking out to High School Never Ends (by Bowling For Soup. I know -- I never heard of it either. I had to look it up.) Earl literally busts through the door and heads over to the Crabshack for a mugful of commiseration. There he runs into Slow Roger who's wearing a "What's Going On?" hat and reciting Bubba's shrimp monologue from Forrest Gump. His hat reminded me of a Bubba Gump Shrimp hat. Roger likes all of Tom Hanks' movies. Philadelphia, he says, is his fifth favorite because Tom Hanks' character has " -- scabs on his arms, scabs on his legs, scabs on his back, scabs on his neck -- " Mmmmm... tasty.

Cut to the motel parking lot, and Earl's El Camino is wedged in between two other cars. There's no room to open the car door, so Earl tries to squeeze in through the cab's sliding window. He gets stuck for the fourth time. He figures that Karma is trying to tell him something, but he doesn't know what until he looks out the side window and sees a Bargain Bag truck, just like the one Joy stole in episode 2-01 titled Very Bad Things. The one that had a person named Josh (Martin, played by Josh Wolf) locked in the back. (BTW – Josh Baskin was the name of the character Tom Hanks played in Big.) Earl calls for help and who should appear but Slow Roger. But this time he's telling Earl about Saving Private Ryan. "There was a dead guy on the beach. Then there was another dead guy on the beach -- Then there was another dead guy on the beach -- " A little Roger goes a long way.

Since being kidnapped by Joy was probably a very stressful thing to live through, Earl decides to treat Josh to a massage. (At least when Earl was married to Joy he got benefits.) So Earl's hired Tammy, Camden County's only legitimate masseuse. Kind of makes you wonder how many illegitimate masseuses Camden County boasts. Tammy just wants Earl to confirm that this guy knows that this is strictly a legit massage because she's " -- sick of seeing their hips go up and hearing them say 'you missed a spot'." Randy feels that a legal massage is like drinking non-alcoholic beer. I couldn't agree more. Like fat-free ice cream, what, pray tell, is the point?

As they near Josh's apartment, Earl hears an alarm clock buzzing. He peers through Josh's mail slot and sees a horrible sight: Josh is pancaked against the wall by his Murphy bed. It'll take a better masseuse than Tammy to unstiffen Josh.

Back at the Crabshack, and Earl is feeling bad. Joy, however, is positively giddy: the sole witness against her is dead. (I'm not sure why Earl wouldn't get subpoenaed but we'll let that one go.) She's looking to celebrate so she asks Darnell for a pitcher of Champaign. Darnell says no. So she'll settle for some Chablis and 7-Up. Mmmmm -- tasty. My lawyer, Joy says, says that this is a lucky break. Unable to help herself, Joy mimics her deaf lawyer, even feigning sign language, "Wucky bake -- " To her, this is funnier than " -- that little insurance lizard that talks."

Randy and Catalina are at the bar with Earl. Randy still can't believe his good fortune in marrying Catalina. He misses no opportunity to tell anyone and everyone that he and Catalina are now married. In fact, he'd even like some type of "married" cocktail. A Bloody Married or a Married-tini will do just fine.

Quick flashback, and Randy is helping a bicycling hit-and-run victim. But he's so busy telling the victim that Catalina is his wife that he forgets the license plate number of the car. (Note – this is Catalina's first appearance since she and Randy got married. A little more Catalina and a little less Roger would've been nice.)

Back at the Shack, and Darnell is telling Randy and Catalina that, in order for their "marriage of convenience" to appear legitimate they should get an apartment. Those INS boys are not to be under-rated. Quick flash to Catalina's living quarters. She seems to reside in a Laundromat with about forty other folks whose citizenship may or may not be in question. Maybe we should get an apartment, she tells Randy. So Randy asks Earl if they should get an apartment, and Earl says that if they did get an apartment, it would just be Randy's and Catalina's. It takes Randy approximately 2.7 nanoseconds to say, "Just me and Catalina? Yes, I'd like to do it, please." Joy skips past singing in her best Munchkin voice, "Ding dong my witness is dead -- "

Earl and Randy go to the local funeral home to check on the plans for Josh's funeral arrangements. There they find a man resting very very comfortably wearing a Washington Redskins number forty-four jersey (John Riggins) in a recliner chair with a helmet chip bowl in his lap watching a football game. Hammerick, the funeral director (played by John Waters), tells Earl and Randy that they don't do ordinary wakes like " -- those Nathanville hacks -- ", that they do "living tableaux". Randy would like to be dressed like an astronaut for his wake. (Possible Apollo 13 reference here?) Unfortunately, Hammerick says, there are no funeral plans for Josh as nobody claimed him. Earl investigates and finds that not even Josh's neighbors or co-workers know very much about him.

Earl doesn't know what to do that would enable him to cross Josh off his list. He returns to the motel room where Catalina and Randy are looking at ads for apartments. Catalina does not want to look at " -- any apartments where they asks girls to send in pictures to prove they're not fatties." Earl is frustrated. He beseeches Dead Josh to make his pen explode if Josh wants Earl to do something more. But not before Earl sets the pen down a comfortable distance away. The pen fails to explode, and Earl crosses off # 270.

Nighttime and Earl can't sleep. He gets up to go to the bathroom, and Josh is there like the Ghost of Karma Past. If Earl's bladder was full it ain't no more. Josh has one of those folded-paper number-picking gizmos (not as whimsical or poetic as a feather but it'll do), and he tells Earl to pick a number. Earl picks six. Suddenly Earl is trapped inside an arcade game in the Crabshack. (It sort of reminded me of the Zoltar fortune-telling machine from Big.) Then suddenly he's poolside back at the motel, still trapped inside the game. Josh is fishing in a rubber boat in the pool. (I'm not sure if this was a Forrest Gump or a Cast Away reference.) He's wearing Slow Roger's "What's Going On?" hat, and manipulating the folded-paper gizmo. Josh tells Earl to choose a color. Earl picks orange, and unfolding the flap, he reads, "Throw me a funeral." That's good enough for Earl. He wakes up to tell Randy, but Randy's already awake. He's wearing safety glasses and clipping Earl's toenails and says, "When I find an apartment with Catalina I don't know who's gonna clip your nails for ya." Then he turns away and retches. As did I.

Back to the funeral home, and Earl and Randy find Hammerick the funeral director staging another tableau. This time it's a man dressed up in army fatigues with a machine gun. Earl would like an old fashioned wake for Josh. Hammerick suggests that with a little makeup he could make Josh look like a young Mel Gibson, and since he has a black guy coming in later he could whip together a whole Lethal Weapon thing. (I thought maybe they could've worked in a Turner and Hooch reference here, but that was just wishful thinking on my part.) Earl wants something a little less -- Creative? asks Hammerick. Creepy and insane, says Earl. All Earl wants is something dignified and respectful. Oh, says Hammerick, you want " -- the number three with the box and the blue suit and the hill-view plot and Pachelbel's Canon in D on organ with Stargazer lilies and a card with the twenty-third psalm." Earl likes the sound of all that, except for the cannons – they sound dangerous.

Cut to Earl and Joy in Josh's apartment. They're going through Josh's clothes looking for something to bury him in. Joy says, "Fashion-wise, that boy died years ago." But she's willing to sell to Earl Darnell's wedding suit, a purple tuxedo, for fifty dollars. Deal, says Earl.

There's a nice turnout for Josh's funeral. Earl had put up flyers at the Crabshack offering free food and booze for mourners. Joy wants the leftovers. She's cut the face out of the funeral cake telling Earl that the picture was making everybody think about the dead guy. That's kind of the point, says Earl. Darnell just wants to know why the dead guy is wearing his beloved purple tux. He's concerned that the dead guy's skin, but more disturbingly, the dad guy's junk, is touching his tux that is irreplaceable now that the dye has been declared toxic waste. Joy fesses up to selling it. Earl promises Darnell that he can have the tux back after the wake.

Catalina and Randy show up late. They were looking for an apartment, and stopped to pick up a few of Catalina's co-workers from Club Chubby still in their work clothes. Randy reminds Earl that Earl has to give a speech. Darnell is worried: he's heard that dead guys flatulate. Not in his suit they damn well don't if he has anything to say about it.

Cut to Earl in the bathroom. He's trying to construct an appropriately respectful eulogy. But his notes somehow got replaced by a list of the things in Josh's apartment. Earl isn't the first person to find it's not easy to write a proper eulogy about " -- cactus, mayonnaise, eggs, gas bill -- "

Earl's trying out a few lines for the eulogy --

Now we lay him down to sleep
We pray the Lord his soul to keep
When the bough breaks --

The Lord giveth and the bed taketh away --

Jay to the Sizzle, Oh to the Hizzle --

You had me at Josh -- (Not nearly as good as "You had me at Balls" but so be it.)

Back at the wake, and a party has broken out. Go figger. Earl plays Captain Buzzkill as he begins the eulogy. But he's interrupted by Darnell reclaiming his beloved purple tux. The coffin crashes to the floor. "My bad," says Darnell. Wake's over.

Later and it's dark at the funeral home. Joy peeks around a corner looking for Earl. She's getting leftovers come hell (the likelier proposition) or high water. She grabs the cake, only to see Josh's actual face looking up at her. Cake-face Josh says to Joy, "You kidnapped me and this is all I get?" Cut to Joy dreaming in bed. She's making little folded-paper gizmo hand gestures and she says, "Six -- green..."

(Editor's Note – Jaime Pressly is several months pregnant and methinks she's beginning to show. I don't believe the producers have plans to work her pregnancy into the show. Now don't get me wrong - I'm all in favor of babies, but I really hope they don't make Joy pregnant. Bringing a baby on to a show always signals that the show is on its last leg. I suspect in future episodes she will likely be wearing a lot of baggy clothes sitting on couches with a lot of pillows around her.)

Earl and Joy are back at Josh's apartment. They're cleaning it out for the landlord. Joy is confused; she's feeling something but doesn't recognize the feeling. It's not 'mad' because she doesn't want to hurt anyone. And it's not 'sad' because she doesn't want to hurt anyone. Maybe you're feeling guilty, Earl suggests. He puts his arm around her to comfort her and she says, "Take it easy, Cupcake. We're not girlfriends." Earl bumps Josh's laptop computer causing the fish screensaver to deactivate. Soon the screen is filled with IM pings from Josh's online friends. There's dozens of messages for BigDog843. Earl thinks the laptop is talking to him. Joy is amazed that Earl's never heard of Instant Text Chats and the Wide Wide World of Web. Earl discovers that Josh did indeed have many friends. They were just more of the cyber kind than actual flesh and blood. BigDog843 liked to play medieval chamber music with a girl in Kansas, online poker, weekend war games (unknowingly with his next-door neighbor), and he even had Friday night dinner (via webcam) with a girl in India.

So Joy and Earl spread the sad news to all of Josh's cyber friends, and they all decide to get together for a second funeral for Josh.

Josh becomes a "living tableau" courtesy of Hammerick. Josh is perched at his computer, mouse in hand. His cyber friends eulogize with respect and sincerity. (I liked the part where the guy eulogizing Josh rattles off a slew of web acronyms -- LOL, ROTFLMAO, BRB, AFK. I guess I must be a bit of a geek because I knew what they all meant.) Josh's Indian girlfriend has to break off to take a tech support call ("Hi, my name is Maggie Smith -- "). Josh's online poker buddies (one of whom was Jermaine Jackson) even agree to assemble monthly to continue their game. Sitting around a table, they pop open their laptops, and hoist one to BigDog.

Randy and Catalina get Josh's apartment. The bed tries to Josh-ify Catalina, but the landlord fixed the bed. Randy neglected to notice but I sure was concerned.

Cut to Joy in her trailer and she's watering Josh's cactus. Darnell suggests naming it Mr. Prickly, but Joy says naming a cactus is the stupidest thing she's ever heard of.

So says Mrs. Prickly, says Darnell. FTB.

---

Posted by Randy on January 19, 2007 12:38 PM
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