My Name is Earl Fodder

My Name Is Earl: White Lie Christmas

Yes, this episode is a repeat, but it was first broadcast about a year ago before Filmfodder started MNIE episode re-caps. So it's new to us. With that in mind, let's have at it.

The ep is titled White Lie Christmas, and begins with Earl and Randy and a radio station car giveaway. The boys are determined to win the car for Joy. Seems that Earl has ruined all six Christmases that he and Joy spent together and he is determined to cross off # 74 (Ruined Christmas for Joy).

In 2002, Earl gave Joy a bunch of batteries for her to do with as she pleased. In 2003, Earl gave her flavored condoms. Don't ask. And in 2004, Earl gave her a set of car keys. Joy was momentarily thrilled until she realized that they were her keys to her car. Seems she had misplaced them and Earl found them for her. Joy was not impressed. I would've thought that the matching red pajama's would have sealed the deal for our boy Earl but Karma is a cruel taskmistress. Yes, Joy already has a car, but it's an El Camino, and Dodge and Earl Jr. tend to get a bit damp on rainy days.

Back at the car giveaway, Earl and Randy are joined by Catalina. She is blowing off work at Club Chubby, but apparently staying in practice by enthusiastically jumping up and down (we are ever so grateful) and gets her hand on the car at the last second. As the contest begins, Earl and Randy shake hands as they agree to work together, and BUZZ, Earl is out just that fast. So it's up to Randy and Catalina.

Flashback to a previous Christmas as Earl realizes that it wasn't only Joy's Christmas that he ruined. Having consumed a coupla hogsheads worth of beer while assembling the boy's bikes for Christmas morning, Earl and Randy are suddenly confronted with their worst Christmas Eve nightmare â€“ they are out of beer. And even worse they neglected to save a few for Joy's Christmas morning. So it's off to the liquor store. But how to get there? The boys figure out they might be a little zotzed when they mistake the cat for a remote control car. So the question remains -- how to get to the liquor store? Their bloodshot eyes rest blearily on the newly assembled bikes.

Christmas morning the boys awake to find two well-mangled bicycles under the tree. They must not have been very good kids, Earl tells them. Again, Joy is not amused.

Zoom back to the present (sorry, no pun intended). The boys are playing Pull the Laundry Basket when who should appear? Not the fat man in the red suit, but Joy's parents, Buzz and Connie (played by Brett Butler) Darville, the sole waterbed proprietors in Medford. Earl walks in on the happy reunion, much to everyone's surprise. They thought that Earl was fighting in Iraq.

In the bedroom, Joy explains to Earl that she never told her folks that she and Earl were divorced, let alone that she had re-married, and especially not that she had married a black man. Turns out that Earl and Joy had lied to Joy's parents regarding Earl Jr.'s parentage. But Earl refuses to lie anymore since he's modeling Karma's flannel shirt. And especially not to a woman in a wheelchair (Joy's mom has rheumatoid arthritis and kidney failure). Darnell, meanwhile is spending his days trying to keep warm in a church's nativity with extremely limited success.

Joy tells Earl that unless he continues the faÃ§ade that he will ruin her Christmas. Hoisted by his own pitard, Earl relents. So it's back to the living room and Joy's parents.

Joy's dad asks Earl what's it like over in Iraq. Earl explains that Iraq is a desert just like the beach, but that the sharks have guns. I suppose as long as they don't have frickin' lasers on their heads -- Joy and her parents are satisfied. Earl not so much. Earl and Darnell work out a system where they will switch places at night, a beer can on the windowsill being the all clear sign.

Back at the car giveaway, several days have passed. There are three contestants left â€“ Randy, Catalina, and a sleepy guy on the hood. Joining forces, Randy and Catalina shock the sleepy guy, he drops his hand off the car, and it's down to two. Randy is happy â€“ it's a dead lock certainty that one of them will win now, and Joy will definitely get a new car for Christmas. Catalina says the equivalent of, "Whatchew talkin' 'bout, Willis?" She is going to have no part of winning a car for Joy. She hates Joy more than the raft she spent four days on getting to America.

Back at the trailer park, Earl has new bikes for the boys. Sneaking them in to the trailer, he finds Connie vertical and most definitely wheelchair-less. Seems she has a bit of a gambling problem ("Don't judge me."), and has been faking her illnesses for some time. I, as well as Buzz, was personally unaware that "post time" was medical terminology, but I guess we can all stand to learn a little something now and again.

Poor delicate Catalina, after days of Dodge Neon-inspired battle, is hallucinating. She faints. Randy watches, his emotions torn. But he does not catch her saying that when people faint they are rarely unable to keep their hand on the car. But she's bleeding. Blood and birds having equal status in Randy's phobia cornucopia, he faints. Catalina wins the car. In filling out the requisite paperwork, we find out a bit of Catalina trivia â€“ her social security number. For those who care about this sort of thing, Catalina's SSN is 4-2-1-3-6-7-8-2-5-7-6-8-14-11-6. Not exactly the format I'm used to when it comes to SSN's, and apparently not what the radio guy had in mind either. He asks Catalina if she is a citizen. From her quick departure, he surmises what we already know: Catalina no esta una citizena de los Estados Unidos. Game, set, match, and car to Randy!

Nighttime back at the trailer and Darnell and Earl are switching places. Joy is eager to see her loving husband if we can make an educated guess by her attire (red panties, red bra, red hat, and a smile). Yowzuh!

Earl ribbons up Joy's new car just in time for Connie to steal it ("Don't judge me.") and head off to the Indian casino where she promptly loses it betting number seven.

Earl and Connie make it back to the trailer just in time for Joy and Buzz to discover Connie walking ("It's a Christmas miracle!"). Connie fesses up that she faked the whole thing and that she gambled away the waterbed business (Joy's inheritance). In a moment of sleep-induced poor judgment, Darnell, looking for an orange soda, walks in on the familial tableau much to everyone's surprise. Joy's dad momentarily mistakes him for Thelma's boy, Thelma being a black woman that he had had an affair with some years ago. Joy is very confused. She didn't tell her dad about Darnell because she thought that her dad was a racist. Turns out that Joy's dad did not want Joy to date a certain black guy back in high school because the guy was Joy's half-brother. It had absolutely nothing to do with race.

The argument rages until dawn when the boys wake up to unmangled bikes under the Christmas tree and smiles all around. Joy's relationship with her parents is re-established, the truth is out there, Christmas Karma is satisfied, and Earl crosses of # 74.

In bed that night, we learn that Earl's favorite Christmas present was a Stretch Armstrong and that Randy's was a Weeble Wobbles. Randy confesses to Earl that it was him, Randy, that had cut open Earl's Stretch Armstrong to see what was inside. Earl tells him that he already knew, and it's fade to black.


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