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Days of Our Lives Fodder

Days of Our Lives: Heeeeere's Johnny!

John Black has inspired me to stop answering people when they ask me complicated questions. (ie: "When do you want to sign your next lease, Amy?" "What health insurance package do you want?" "Do you want a strawberry or chocolate milkshake?") Instead of fumbling for an answer, I'm simply going to squint my eyes, purse my lips, and raise my chin in defiance. They'll figure it out from there.

Speaking of the man, he's on Morgan Island now and everyone knows it. I appreciated his forwardness of simply appearing. "You wanted me, I'm here. And?" Although I was hoping for a disguise, this sort of cuts out some unnecessary moments. I'm not sure why (since this is what he wanted) but JB showing up made Alex North very nervous, prompting him to tell Patrick, "John Black must die tonight." Ooooo. As if. I've heard some speculation that Patrick is still a good dude and only playing along to ultimately help Marlena and John? I'm not sure I can buy this.

Did Hope get a boob job? Seriously. Her body fat seems to be shrinking, her skin seems to be darkening, and her boobs just keep getting bigger. Make it stop.

God, I love it when they throw on Alice Horton for a scene or two. Are you aware she's, like, 93? Impressive, my friends. Today she helped Maggie give Jennifer love advice (move on with Frankie and stop feeling guilty), which was amusing since we the audience are well aware that Jack - gasp! - is still alive. I have *no* idea how they plan on 'splainin' this to me, but they better start thinking of a way fast.

Carrie's preggers. Any chance it could be Austin's? Did they sleep together before she a) she knew he destroyed her company and b) she thought their babies would have three heads? I can't remember, so feel free to remind me. This will be so boring if it's really Lucas's. Yawn.

-Amy Maloof

Posted by Amy on May 15, 2006 4:59 PM
Permalink |

In no particular order:

1. I fully support your John Black response. I, too, will incorporate this into my life whenever necessary.

2. I'm convinced Patrick is a good guy for one simple reason: he's too dumb to be a bad guy. Seriously. Watch his expressions. He's often quite confused.

3. In another couple years Hope will turn into the creature she's meant to become: the Crypt Keeper.

4. I really, REALLY, hope Jack comes out of his coma with ninja skills.

5. Shawn got Carrie pregnant, but ... here's the kicker, it's Belle's *egg*. I don't know how this is going to be explained, but this is what needs to happen.

-- Posted by: mac at May 15, 2006 7:53 PM

Amy, I couldn't agree with you more! I've actually decided that one could easily guide their path in life and make crucial decisions after become a student of John Black's commentary, facial expressions, and the depth of his tan. I'm on my lunch break and I decided to type out this brief translation guide to get us started.

1. "Abraham, I'll be in the morgue!"
Translation: Do not be afraid of growing old and meeting your Maker. Run towards it the way a true ISA agent would. In doing so, you will find that your fear has gone. Much like your amnesiac wife. Sucka.

2. "I'll get you, Alex North."
Translation: Attack elderly actors whose faces are so furrowed and lined they are practically living corpses. Make them stop brainwashing people. Especially your wife.

3. *low sigh* followed by a *chin raise* combo punch *left eye narrowed* and WHAM *downturned mouth*
Translation: John Black's "Blue Steel." It's true beauty. You can just burn down every museum in the world right now because nothing compares to you, John. Nothing.

Tan Level: Orange
Translation: The world is at peace. For now.

I'm not sure what his reverse-mullet means yet, but I'll get back to you on that.

-- Posted by: Sharon at May 16, 2006 1:36 PM

john's nose-breathing and squinty little eyes are all the defense he needs against evil mask-face alex north. (and mask-face might not even be an insult...i think he's gonna turn out to be tony/andre in disguise)

-- Posted by: adair at May 22, 2006 11:54 PM

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