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Bionic Woman Fodder

Bionic Woman: Sisterhood

Don’t you just hate it when you’re out for a day of fun with your sister and the ultra-secretive government group you work for interrupts your lunch with a mission? Jaime sure does.

That’s how this week’s episode of “Bionic Woman” began, with Jamie trying to cool off from yet another sparring practice with Jae, by having lunch with her little sis Becca. Still reeling from all the information she’s learned over the past few weeks, Jae dropped another bomb on her- if she doesn’t like the programming in her head, she can actually hack herself and change it. Interesting, this may prove useful later on….

So, back to that lunch with Becca. It seems the two sisters have done a little bonding recently and, for once, they are actually enjoying each other’s company. (It doesn’t hurt that Big Sis is trying to buy Becca’s love with some ice cream and a movie.) Unfortunately, Bledsoe calls our bionic protagonist with a mission- there’s a bad guy down the street and Jaime needs to make sure he doesn’t leave the area. The strange part, Jaime wonders, is how her new boss knows where she is. Turns out he forgot to tell her they installed a GPS in her head. Whoops! Guess that pretty much rules out privacy for the rest of her life.

So, she does what any good Bionic Woman would do- finds the guy and asks him politely (using the cute girl routine) to help her with some directions. When Mr. Bad Guy doesn’t take the bait, she lets him have it with a one-two punch while he’s sitting inside his car. Problem solved. Back to lunch.

Meanwhile, back at the super secret Wolf Creek facility (a.k.a. Home of the Berkut Group which created Super Jaime), Bledsoe is busy professing his love to Ruth. Just kidding, it’s only the super serious boss testing his abilities against a lie-detector machine. Turns out this guy is good! Ruth asks him how he pulls it off. His answer: “I’ve been married.” Ah, and what a lucky woman she must have been.

In another corner of Bionic Universe, we finally meet up with Anthony Anthros again (Will’s evil dad, who was broken out of a super-max prison back in the premiere). He’s clutching a Blackberry-type device with the words “Sarah Corvis Diagnostic” on the display. Unfortunately, the device also reads: Life Expectancy Erosion 80%. I guess Sarah has some big problems, as the camera pans over to her shaking arm. Anthony tells her that if she wants help fixing whatever is killing her, he needs her to bring Jaime in for an examination. In the meantime, he’ll dull her pain with some medication only he can provide. Anyone else think he’s just getting her hooked, so she’ll be indebted to him?

At that moment in Wolf Creek, Jaime is hopping mad about the tracking device in her head. Bledsoe tells her the bionic brain implants also include a video camera, one which automatically streams video from her eye. In essence, they turned Jaime into a walking handi-cam and she is not happy about. Too bad, he tells her, but the sucker is grafted onto her brain and to remove it means she has to die. In one of the funnier moments of the night, she calls the whole thing “pervy.”

Before she can resolve the whole issue, Bledsoe gives Jaime another mission. He wants her to play Bionic Babysitter for a Canadian defense contractor’s daughter. The contractor is worried some bad guys may harm her while she’s in the country (which both Bledsoe and Jaime agree has about as much of a chance at happening as Isaiah Washington has of getting back on that medical show). She argues that it’s a waste of her time, but Bledsoe wins.

Soon, she’s off to meet the little angel, Heaven Van Fleet. Jaime gets some advance warning, though, from the girl’s father who says she’s not to get any new tattoos, piercings, alcohol or drugs. Seems she hates her dad and any “goon” that’s hired to protect her (this includes Jaime).

Later that night, Jaime and Becca are having some fun, dancing and singing along to music in their apartment. But they’re not alone; Sarah is watching them and leaps onto their building for a closer look. As the two sisters discuss their family tree and flip through photos on Becca’s computer, Sarah super-listens from outside.

Once Jaime is asleep, she dreams Sarah is telling her to keep her eyes open. She suddenly wakes up to find Sarah looming over her bed. She runs towards the door, but Sarah is fast too and she cuts her off. Jaime scans the room for something to attack with, but as she does, Sarah lists each item as Jaime looks at it. She explains they have the same programming, so nothing Jaime does will work against her.

Jaime realizes she can’t fight her way out, so she decides to talk instead. She angrily tells her that the Bionic Pyscho Lady killed the only man she ever loved, as well as her unborn child. Sarah is taken aback (it seems there’s still a little emotion left in that bionic brain after all). She explains she’s not there to hurt Jaime or Becca, but just wants to talk. She asks Jaime to trust her and to meet her alone the next day to discuss things further.

Bledsoe is none to happy about the meeting, having seen it all through Jaime’s Handy-Cam Eye. He wants Sarah brought in, dead if necessary. Before he can launch the Deathstar and his own personal legion of cyber-ninjas, Jaime suggests she meet with Sarah first. He agrees, but back-up won’t be too far behind. He also lets Jaime know that Sarah is totally unstable, made worse by the fact that she got her little sister killed in a car accident years earlier. (This makes sense judging by the flashbacks we’ve seen whenever Sarah is around).

Meanwhile, Psycho Sarah is busy doing push-ups on her fists and punching holes in the walls of her hotel room. She also looks like she needs another fix of that medicine Anthony gave her. She just needs to hold out until her meeting with Jaime.

Before that can happen, though, Jaime is still stuck babysitting teenage nightmare Heaven. The girl gives her the slip at a clothing store and it takes Jaime a few minutes, and one embarrassing phone call from Jonas, to find her at a tattoo parlor. She drags her off to Wolf Creek for a visit with Ruth. My question, though, is if this is a super-secret facility where a shadowy group conducts cybernetic experiments on human beings, how the heck is Jaime bringing a teenage civilian with a bad attitude through the door? I mean, the girl doesn’t even have a guest badge or anything? And Ruth doesn’t even flinch. She just takes the girl off for some “testing.” Geez, let’s hope the Canadians don’t find out about this. This lapse in security does shed some light on how Sarah delivered that rose to Jae last week without anyone seeing her. Maybe Jonas should shell out a little money for some guards. Or maybe a gate.

Anyways, back to the story. Jaime drops by Antonio’s (Isaiah Washington) office to get some background info on Sarah. He tells her that Sarah is working with Will’s dad and that the two probably want to get their hands on Jaime.

When the two bionic women finally meet, Sarah pleads with Jaime to help save her life. Seems those little anthrocites that are swimming in her blood may be the key to fixing the problems with Sarah’s implants. She also plants some seeds of doubt about Will, saying he may have been scoping Jaime out as a prospective soldier long before Jaime was injured in the accident. Before they can finish, a group of soldiers appears and scares her away.

Back at Bionic Headquarters, Antonio cuts Jaime’s sparring practice short. He wants to find the “animal” in her. So he starts swinging a crow bar at her, asking for her to pummel him, which she does in short order. Afterwards, she and Jae have a heart-to-heart about what to do with Sarah. Jae says she’s been known to hold a grudge, so she better watch her back. Gee thanks Jae. Couldn’t you put in a good word for Jaime when you’re meeting up with Sarah at the Yellow Rose Hotel?

As soon as she finished sparring, she rescues Heaven from Ruth, who’s building a psychological profile of the girl. Heaven apologizes for ditching and asks if they can get the heck out of there. So Jaime takes her for a manicure. But like most of Jaime’s relaxing moments, its cut short by a surprise visit from Crazy Sarah. She still wants Jaime’s help, but Jaime says she doesn’t need Sarah’s. Sarah relents and tells Jaime to handle the four Serbian gangsters coming for Heaven all by herself.

The burly bad guys immediately bust through the door and start tossing manicurists around the salon. While Sarah sits and reads a magazine, Jaime is busy throwing the hitmen around the room. Only after asking politely does Sarah join the fight, asking if they should play “rock, paper, scissors” on who gets the last bad guy. With the Serbians dispatched, the bionic women take the Canadian Terror to safety.

In the night’s funniest exchange, Sarah and Jaime have a conversation in a parking garage. First Sarah tells Jaime to watch out that the Berkut Group isn’t watching her in the shower. Then she says they need to stick together, “maybe form a union.” Then Sarah gives Jaime advice on how to hack her own brain and turn her camera off, which Jaime successfully does. Ultimately, though, Jaime says no to helping Sarah, forcing the cybernetic crazy to storm off.

This does not make Will’s dad very happy. He berates Sarah for not getting the job done and tells her she needs to get Jaime to relate to her. Maybe if Jaime felt the same loss that Sarah feels about her dead sister, the two could bond. Uh-oh.

As Jaime comes home with some Chinese food she opens the door to find Sarah having tea with Becca. It seems Sarah charmed her way in, convincing Becca she was a new neighbor. In a flash Becca passes out, courtesy of some drugged tea. The stone-cold Sarah picks Becca up by her neck and threatens Jaime one more time- work with her or her sister dies. Jaime talks her down, though, by appealing to her humanity. It was all a ruse, though, so Jaime could turn her camera back on, which sends Sarah fleeing again.

So, how did everyone like this week’s episode? Personally, I think the dialogue has gotten a lot better (though the producers still need to work on the show’s pacing; things happen a little too fast). How about that Sarah Corvis- anyone else think she could be the poster child for bipolar disorder? First, she’s willing to talk with Jaime, and then she hates her! Then it’s back to discussing stuff; then she’s drugging her sister. Seems a tad unbalanced. Also, did anyone else notice that Jaime’s former boyfriend’s last name was Anthros and the things swimming in her blood are called Anthrocites? Anyway, post your comments below and make sure to come back next week for some more bionic fun. --Chris Sardelli

Posted by Chris on October 11, 2007 1:46 AM
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