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Bionic Woman Fodder

Bionic Woman: Face Off

As this week’s episode begins, we find Jaime running at super-speed down a dark alley. Using her new bionic eye she calculates the distance needed to hurdle a chain-link fence blocking her path. She leaps into the air, landing with a scream on the pavement as pain shoots through her foot. Looks like something broke as she landed, but Jaime presses on and sets her sights on a parked car in the distance.

Has Jonas finally sent her on a real mission? Is she after terrorists? Or could Sarah Corvis somehow be in the car? Wrong on all counts. As she flings open the door, Jaime discovers Becca making out with some 18-year-old guy. Wow, are they in trouble. Jaime yanks her out of the car and screams at her as she drags her home.

Later, back at Wolf Creek, Jaime is having her toe examined. The technician explains to her that even though she’s partly indestructible, thanks to those anthrocite-things swimming around in her blood stream, there are bound to be defects. He finally returns her toe to normal and off she goes, though the whole incident begs the question, just how indestructible is she?

Meanwhile, Sarah Corvis is doing what any cybernetically-enhanced woman would do if she could leap tall buildings in a single bounce. She’s hustling guys at poker. Yup, that’s a good use of her talent. As she goes all in, Jae shows up with his Ninja Stormtroopers and places her under arrest. She goes willingly, which makes you wonder if she has a plan in mind or if the writers just completely underestimated how quickly she could have taken the whole lot of them down. My theory, she either wants back in at Wolf Creek so someone can heal her or she’s doing recon for Will’s dad.

Soon, Jaime is stuck discussing her toe with Bledsoe who, even though Jaime didn’t tell him about the episode, found out anyway. He reminds her she’s a sophisticated piece of equipment designed to help the human race, not to spy on her sister. As she rolls her eyes, Antonio stops by to watch an important video with Jonas and Jaime.

The terrorist film shows a captive doctor, named Mark Stevens, who is being held against his will in Paraguay by a group of nutjobs named the Sons of the Red Sand. They want the CIA to admit he’s one of theirs, or they’ll behead him in 48 hours. Bledsoe wants Jaime and Antonio to pose as an American couple to rescue him and retrieve the classified information he has in his possession. Jaime is left to create a cover story so Becca won’t know where she’s going and tells her little sis she’s off to Napa to visit her friend Carly, who just got into law school.

Antonio quickly briefs Jaime that they’ll be flying on a small jet, landing on a dirt strip and meeting up with a local cop who will brief them on Stevens location. Jaime looks a little uneasy, though, and reveals she’s got a pesky fear of flying. So, just to recap- she’s OK with climbing tall buildings and leaping really high into the air, but she’s not so cool with flying on planes.
She doesn’t have much time to worry about it, though, as her cyborg nemesis Sarah Corvis is wheeled in Hannibal Lecter-style. Sarah tells Jaime she “looks great” and asks how Becca’s doing. Jaime looks understandably ticked. After all, Sarah did try to kill Becca last episode. Antonio grabs her arm and says they have no time for her to settle the score- they have to leave now.

We soon find Sarah strapped to a table and being examined by the Wolf Creek doctors. She’s up to her old tricks as she grabs one of the doctor’s hands and crushes it. That is, until Jonas strolls in and tells her to stop. He has a deal for her. If she gives up Anthony Anthros’s location, he’ll upgrade her body to Windows Vista and fix all that hand-shaking nonsense. In typical fashion, she turns him down, claiming she can’t trust him, which may be true.

On the plane to Paraguay, Jaime and Antonio have a little chat about trust. She’s worried about lying to her sis, but he says she’s doing the right thing by protecting her. He also says she can trust him and that he’ll always have her back. Once they land, they meet up with an optimistic local cop who warns them that if they get caught, he will deny knowing them.

That trust they just talked about gets put to the test as soon as the two get inside the building. First, Jaime figures out how to get past a giant moving fan, by calculating the speed and velocity with her cool new eye and thrusting her new arm into the works. Once inside, though, they realize there’s a security system they hadn’t planned on. Before Jaime knows it, Antonio crosses the beams and sets the darn thing off. Stunned by this turn of events, Jaime has no choice but to follow his lead and let themselves be captured.

Soon enough, the pair is surrounded by terrorist gunmen and hauled off to the chief bad guy with black bags over their heads. They’re dropped off in a small office, where it seems the good Dr. Stevens is being held as well. Putting a machete to Jaime’s throat, the bad guys try to convince the doctor to decrypt the classified info a little faster. The bay guys get a lesson in Butt-Kicking 101, though, when they try to kill her, as she lunges at the nearest terrorist, giving Antonio a shot to do exactly the same thing. Are we sure this guy isn’t a little bionic too?

After the two of them dispatch all the bad guys, while their hands are tied behind their backs might I add, Antonio gives our bionic hero a new order- leave the doctor here. Apparently, the classified info contains detailed blueprints on her and Stevens knows it all! Antonio says the only way to keep her safe is to kill the doctor before he can leak her secrets. Jaime disagrees and lays the smack down on Antonio, stealing his gun and running away with the doc.

Stevens gets away in time, but Jaime isn’t as lucky. She’s suddenly surrounded by a Henchman Convention and must find a new way out of the complex. She decides to leap over a series of dead-drops to the floor below, using her super-jumping abilities. She miraculously avoids enemy fire, that is until she takes a bullet to the shoulder and crashes to the ground. Stevens picks her up and leads her back to the ventilation shaft, where the two of them get away.

Bleeding on the streets of Paraguay is a dead give away, so the two take refuge in a bodega to find some supplies. After using her bionic eye and computer brain to turn off the store’s alarm system, Stevens gets to work on removing the bullet. He knows a lot about her and warns her that if left in, the anthrocites will move the bullet and possibly injure her further. She’s going into shock and she has no choice but to let him help.

Back at Jaime’s apartment, Becca is busy making herself a sundae when there’s someone at the door. She’s shocked to find Carly standing there, whom Jaime said she’d be with all weekend. Now where the heck could her sis be?

Meanwhile, Stevens is trying desperately to get the bullet out, but the darn thing keeps moving. As he works, he gives Jaime a little background on himself. After decrypting info for the CIA and watching that info used to kill people, he decided to only handle information he can live with. She in turn asks him if he has any info on why her hand keeps shaking. He tells her that it’s her cybernetic systems failing and resetting, a basic design flaw in her programming. The anthrocites fix the problem, but eventually they will stop working. What no one decided to tell her is that her bionic systems have a five year limited warranty before falling apart and killing her. Hmmm, I don’t think that was in the extended service plan, was it?

Over in that top-secret bionic lab back in America, the bionic team is studying Sarah. She asks Jae to bring her proof of the advancements Jonas promised her, and only then will she give up Will’s dad. When Jae can’t find any of that data on Will’s computer, Bledsoe tells him it does exist, but it’s not in the lab. It’s on the flash drive that Stevens is protecting over in Paraguay. What a bummer Jae. Once you tell Sarah, this is really going to put a crimp in your dating life, isn’t it?

And what do you know, she finds out and breaks her restraints, picking Jae up by the neck. After using him as a human shield and snapping a commando’s neck, she escapes from the facility. Looks like she was just playing along until she found out whether they could fix her.

Antonio finally discovers where Jaime and the doc are hiding, so Jaime stows the doctor in an elevator until its safe to come out. Jaime wants to protect him, but Antonio wants to kill him. What’s a bionic girl to do? Why, beat the snot out of him, that’s what! With some crazy kicks she sends Antonio flying into a bookcase, where he’s knocked unconscious. Unfortunately, when she goes back to find Stevens, he’s gone, and so is the flash drive.

As the show ends, we see Sarah trying to bring a snowboarder home with her, Bledsoe promising to fix Jaime before she dies and Becca confronting Jaime about her lie. Ultimately, Jaime can’t tell her the truth, but asks her to trust her.

So, what’s the consensus on this week’s episode? Was Antonio right about Stevens? Is he going to sell her info to the highest bidder and put her in danger? Also, does Ruth do anything in any episode besides making people answer her strange psychological surveys? And don’t you think it would’ve been easier for Jaime to just tell Becca she was going on a business trip? Post your comments below and stroll back here next week for more cyborg craziness. --Chris Sardelli

Posted by Chris on October 18, 2007 7:06 PM
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