Biggest Loser Fodder

The Biggest Loser: Jamaican Me Crazy

At the end of last week's episode, we discovered that the producers were resorting to an old gimmick and closing "The Biggest Loser" campus down for a week. Boo-friggin-hoo. Now the contestants have to live like the rest of us -- um, if the rest of us lived in Jamaica.

Some are happy for the change of pace; some are frightened of bathing suits. Don't worry kids; you're not going to be worshipping the sun and seeking out weed. Why Allison even tortured anyone calling it a "vacation" is beyond me.

Jillian wasn't on the ground for 2 minutes and she was already bitching. In fact, I am guessing that she was probably telling the pilot how to land the plane. However, there was another "B" that was in the spotlight -- the Red Team's Bryan was having chest pains.

I was having them too -- when Allison was trying to "relate" to the contestants. Hello? Is there a challenge to be done? Then why are you HERE? Sure celebrities have to worry about weight; you're getting paid for that, honey. Everyone at your table just wants a piece of the fish with the coconut sauce.

While everyone was kicking back and enjoying exotic veggies, Jez seemed to forget that he had Jillian's evil eye(s) burning a hole into his brain. He wanted to have some of the sweet alcoholic nectar that the island had to offer. I can't believe I am saying this, but I actually have to side with Jillian on this one. If they can't exercise restraint now, how will they last in the real world? Just enjoy the vacation before she makes you eat sand during the workouts, ok?

Kim showed off her incredibly hot bod in a pool workout with the Red Team. Bob chose yoga; he's groovy like that. Jillian, on the other hand, was business as usual. The Black Team had gotten too comfy in that air-conditioned gym; back to basics, baby.

The challenge involved a raft and strength. The first person from each team had to stand on a raft and pull themselves to shore, via a rope. From there, you needed to pull each team member in on the same raft. As the Black Team finished, Jez mooned the other teams. Classy.

For a second, I thought there would be a catfight between Jillian and Kim before the weigh-in. It's surprising, but Jillian held her tongue for once (at least to Kim's face). Also sort of surprising: Everyone spent the entire week working out in the Jamaican sun, yet no one appeared tan. Maybe they burned it off. Here are this week's stats...

Blue Team

Name	Starting Weight	Current Weight	This Week's Loss	Total Loss

Nicole	279	252	-6	-27

Ryan	374	331	-10	-43

Kae	225	184	-7	-38

Neil	421	365	-10	-56

Total: -33 pounds, 2.83%

Red Team

Name	Starting Weight	Current Weight	This Week's Loss	Total Loss

Bryan	346	308	-11	-38

Amy	297	268	-10	-29

David	368	328	-9	-40

Phil	403	346	-12	-57

Total: -42 pounds, 3.25%

Black Team

Name	Starting Weight	Current Weight	This Week's Loss	Total Loss

Hollie	255	228	-8	-27

Isabeau	298	264	-8	-34

Jez	345	302	-6	-43

Julie	218	199	-4	-19

Bill	334	279	-6	-55

Jim	361	307	-7	-54

Total: -39 pounds, 2.41%

OK, I officially hate Jillian. She was mad at Jez for only losing 6 pounds? Glad to see that her tactics finally blew up in her face. The Black Team lost. Unfortunately, they can't vote her off.

Awesome quote from Julie: "As much as I love my team, I don't trust one of them." Nice. I know it's a game, but it's all lovey dovey until someone loses a weigh-in.

It's still sort of lovey dovey -- except for Jim. He was one of the biggest losers; he was also the one to get kicked off. I wonder if Bill will get all Incredible Hulkish on the rest of the team since they wronged his brother. Stay tuned. -- Rachel Cericola


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