Biggest Loser Fodder

The Biggest Loser: Black is Back

Another two hours? Who is NBC kidding? While I love my losers, please let's not make this another "American Idol." Let's see if we can condense some of this thing...

Black Team
Jillian is intense -- annoyingly so. You'd think she was training these people for war, the way she talks. I know, I know... battle of the bulge, right? Puh-leeze.

The weigh-ins, however, are intense. We didn't get to see the black team weigh-in last week; here were the results...

Black Team

Name	Starting Weight	Current Weight	This Week's Loss

Isabeau	298	290	-8

Julie	218	216	-2

Hollie	255	244	-11

Jez	345	329	-16

Jim	361	350	-11

Bill	334	313	-21

Was the black team sort of a disappointment? Don't get me wrong; some of them rocked it and any loss is a good loss, but I don't think Julie proved anyone at the campus wrong for not choosing her.

Their workouts were crazy though. I think I was sweating just watching. The only thing missing were the toothpicks in their eyes a la "A Clockwork Orange."

Red Team
The red team wants to bond; the blue team did bond -- they went on a hike. Meanwhile, the black team jogged with logs.

When did Bryan become "B?" Was this a nickname that we all missed, is he too cool for a full name, or is this the red team's idea of bonding?

Amy was this week's whiney team member. Did she not see what happened to Amber last week? Apparently not because she also gave Kim serious flak when she called her out for not working out hard enough. She completed her hissy fit by walking out on the last-chance workout. She may as well have walked all the way home.

Blue Team
I think I'd want to be on Bob's team. They go on hikes, they cheer, and they won last week. Bob also proves to be king of the pep-talk after the challenge.

Neil is the whiney one on the blue team this week. He's no Amy, but he's injured and he doesn't want to eat anything. He says he can't stomach the food, but my guess is that he could stomach a pizza, if given the chance. I know I could.

Bob also proved himself to be the most sensitive trainer alive after he came to Amy's aid when she was crying. He doesn't see red and blue; he only sees the clear of tears. He also got to the root of Amy's problem: she's not a bitch, she's homesick.

The Challenge
There's a 10-story building. Each team has to grab a stairwell, scale the steps and flip a light switch. One floor per contestant -- starting on the seventh floor. It looked tough, but not as nauseating as the first season's stair challenge.

The team captains got a raw deal, having to climb all the way to the top. I thought poor Jerry was going to take a dirt nap. He didn't, but he probably wished he had. The blue team lost.

After that, each member of the winning red team needed to step up to a series of light switches. Whoever lit up an entire floor would win immunity for the week. David the cowboy got the free pass.

Weekly Weigh-In
The big shocker wasn't who lost what this week; it was that the black team was waiting -- and soaking up their first taste of air conditioning after two weeks of working out with Jillian .

The trainers were all huggy, even though Jillian did call the other two "Barbie and Ken" (kind of funny). The contestants were all acting like cool cucumbers, staring each other down. I was waiting for someone to whip out the chicken foot from last night's episode of "Prison Break."

There was no foot, but there was a scale. Here are this week’s numbers…

Blue Team

Name	Starting Weight	Current Weight	This Week's Loss	Total Loss

Jerry	297	256	-10	-41

Nicole	279	265	-6	-14

Patty	280	265	-2	-15

Ryan	374	349	-10	-25

Kae	225	200	-5	-25

Neil	421	389	-10	-32

Total: -43 pounds, 2.43%

Red Team

Name	Starting Weight	Current Weight	This Week's Loss	Total Loss

Bryan	346	325	-6	-21

Amy	297	285	-2	-12

Lezlye	255	243	-3	-12

David	368	344	-4	-24

Phil	403	372	-5	-31

Total: -20 pounds, 1.26%

Black Team

Name	Starting Weight	Current Weight	This Week's Loss	Total Loss

Hollie	255	242	-2	-13

Isabeau	298	285	-5	-13

Jez	345	320	-9	-25

Julie	218	213	-3	-5

Bill	334	301	-12	-33

Jim	361	334	-16	-27

Total: -47 pounds, 2.70%

The black team won the weigh-in. Big deal Lucille. I was really hoping they'd lose just to knock them off their high sandy horses. Like good job and all, but jeez -- do they know how many people across the country did not get picked? Stop acting like this is high school gym class. Get over it and thank your lucky stars that Jillian wanted to come back to the show.

So the red team lost two weeks in a row. Since no team in history has ever won two weeks in a row, I'm guessing no one has lost two weeks in a row either. Congrats guys.

Before elimination, Amy was pimping herself out as a strong team member. Are they cooking up crack in "The Biggest Loser" kitchen? She must be smoking something. No one else saw her little loving moment with Bob, so I would think that as far as the red team knows, she's just dead, whiney weight.

The girls all voted for Phil -- the guy that put them on the team in the first place. Apparently, the guys were blind because they all voted for Lezlye. Maybe they didn't like the way she spells her name. After all, she lost the same total amount as Amy and wasn't half as bitchy about it. Will Amy now have a target on her back?

Also, Lezlye's new appearance looks a little like Elizabeth Perkins, no?

Last, but certainly not least, our product placement of the week, boys and girls: yummy Jenny-O turkey. See you all next week. -- Rachel Cericola

Posted by rachel on September 18, 2007 10:27 PM
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I was also a bit annoyed by the 2-hour show again this week, mostly because "Beauty and the Geek" also started last night with a 2-hour show. These two reality shows are the only ones worth watching as far as I'm concerned and I'm bummed they are on at the same time this year. Bob is by far the best trainer but I notice during the weigh-in he's just as competitive as Jillian about the numbers. If the red team keeps losing people, might they just get rid of "Barbie" too? Hope so.

-- Posted by: Tracy at September 19, 2007 09:38 AM