Biggest Loser Fodder

The Biggest Loser: The Biggest Premiere

This season's competition kicked off with one contestant from each of the 50 states. Since none of the viewing audience would be able to follow 50 people losing weight -- and this blog would literally kill me -- 36 states had to be crossed off the map, leaving us with the final 14.

Within the first 15 minutes, the waterworks were already flowing, as people discovered they had diabetes and spoke of their day-to-day difficulties with being overweight.

Don't ask me to name all of the contestants in this episode. Hell, I'm not even sure I could name all 50 states, if pressed. However, Ken from Washington had to be the standout -- because he had a 'fro unlike anything I have ever seen. That's got to get in his way during workouts!

Just to horrify everyone at home, they weighed the 50 contestants together for a total of 14,384 pounds. Wow wee... that's a lot. If I were up there, I would definitely be pointing my flabby finger at the guy next to me.

Trainers Bob (what's up with his hair??) and Kim (she's replacing Jillian) "flew" in all rock-'n-roll-savior style and made everyone start hoofing it right off the bat. I'm really surprised that no one dropped dead right on the spot -- although they would hardly be missed with so many contestants.

This one workout determined who got cut. Texas was picked first for the blue team; Ken from Washington was chosen for the red (see -- standout!).

The rest of the teams were:
Blue: Alabama, California, Maryland, Missouri, New York, Tennessee
Red: Alaska, Florida, Indiana, Massachusetts, Minnesota, Utah

Then came the surprise: The 36 people left are competing for the prize as well -- just not in front of the cameras. At least they got to avoid the first weigh-in. Here was the tally:

Red Team
Nelson, Massachusetts: 404
Ken, Washington: 358
Wylie, Florida: 305
Kai, Alaska: 262
Pam, Indiana: 247
Jennifer, Minnesota: 245
Heather, Utah: 223

Blue Team
Erik, New York: 407
Marty, Missouri: 365
Bobby, Tennessee: 321
Brian, California: 308
Amy, Maryland: 260
Tiffany, Texas: 255
Melinda, Alabama: 236

Of course, the first real workout was a complete massacre, complete with puking. Speaking of puking, right after, they showed all of contestants a huge mound of food. It was at this point that I got up to get ice cream (hey -- it was "light!").

The first challenge had the potential losers climbing walls across a bridge. After a lot of pushing, pulling and dramatic music, the red team took the prize, which was the opportunity to swap one member's weight loss with another member's on the losing team. Of course, they were psyched and the blue team had to hit the gym.

Next came the first weigh-in. The red team decided to swap Jen's weight loss for Amy's. Here was the tally:

Red Team
Nelson, Massachusetts: -19
Ken, Washington: -18
Wylie, Florida: -14
Kai, Alaska: -12
Pam, Indiana: -10
Heather, Utah: -9
Jennifer, Minnesota: -8
Total: 98 pounds, 4.75%

Blue Team
Brian, California: -23
Marty, Missouri: -20
Bobby, Tennessee: -18
Amy, Maryland: -16
Erik, New York: -16
Tiffany, Texas: -12
Melinda, Alabama: -11
Total: 108 pounds, 5.05%

Someone from the red team has got to go. Just goes to showâ€¦ if you win the challenge and want to get a good night's sleep, you may end up sleeping in your own bed, dammit!

Then we got our first glimpse of who would be the biggest pain in the ass this season -- Heather began ripping into Jennifer. Apparently, Jen doesn't want it bad enough. She was yelling that 8 pounds isn't a good weight loss?? However, the team swapped her weight with the blue team anyway, so what the hell was she bitching about?

The first elimination is always the hardest. After all, we barely know these people. Afro Ken got immunity for being the biggest loser of the week. Apparently everyone agreed with Heather. The voting was unanimous; she's gone. Apparently she did want it pretty bad; she has lost a total of 66 pounds so far and is looking pretty foxy.

If the contestants weren't sweating in the gym, they were losing water weight via the tears shed. Looks like it's going to be one tough season. -- Rachel Cericola


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