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American Idol Fodder

American Idol: Lessons Learned

Welcome, American Idol friends! It’s your friendly guest blogger here – we’re giving Chris the night off, so you get me. Now, I do have a confession to make – I didn’t watch Idol last night. But no worries, I had my predictions since last Wednesday night. Crystal and Lee will blow Casey out of the water and from what I heard, I was right. We’ll see if America agreed.

But, before we learn the fate of our final three Idols, we do have an hour of fun and excitement. Now, most of the time I find the results shows mind-numbing, so I decided I was going to try to gain something from tonight’s show.

And so, I bring you the greatest lessons learned from tonight’s Idol show.

First lesson of the night: American Idol producers think America has the memory of a goldfish. It’s the usual routine with introductions of Ryan and the judges. You would think by now everyone watching the show knows who they are, but apparently the producers worry we don’t. Bring out the finalists, which should be the same case, but we’ll introduce them anyway.

Next lesson up: when in doubt, stall! We’ll sit the Idols down and ask them a long list of questions. What did we learn from this process? Well, even Casey didn’t think he would make it this far, and to be honest neither did the judges (or me for that matter).

Now a visit home with Casey James to Texas. There were some touching moments, as Casey said thank you to the doctors and nurses who cared for him after his accident six years ago. As for lessons …here’s what I learned:
-Yes, Casey’s fan base is all women, with a random dad who was dragged by his nine year-old daughter speckled in.
-In a pinch, when you don’t have any paper, you can autograph a dog.
-Ladies, you can rest easy tonight – Casey is single.

Up next, our first musical guest – Travis Garland. Apparently, Perez Hilton is now a talent scout, as he introduces us to his newest find Travis Garland who he claims is better than Justin Timberlake ! (J-Timb – I think you can keep your day job!) Not only that, but I learned a few tricks about producing television: If you’re worried the new talent on the show may not be understandable (did anyone pick out one work Travis Garland was singing?), try to distract the audience with split screen and lots of dancers. When that doesn’t work – add in some men banging on garbage cans.

Now we’re off to Ohio with Crystal Bowersox. It was apparent how happy she was to be home with her family, and we learned a lot about her life in Ohio including: Toledo is apparently not important enough to give Crystal Bowersox her own day, so it will be Crystal Bowersox Day in all of Northwestern Ohio; You can sign a human’s chest and that signature can then be tattooed to them; and Crystal’s got a pretty good arm, as she hit a girl in the head with a flower and can make it across home plate easily.

And so to round out our home visits it’s off to Chicago with Lee DeWyze. This one actually left me with more questions than lessons learned. Of everyone in the entire world, Lee is probably more surprised than anyone else he made it this far. Does he not know how good he is? Lee has a big following of first graders – who knew? Are Lee’s favorite colors teal and neon yellow? What was with the shirt color choices? He worked in a paint shop, shouldn’t he have a better eye for color than that?

Oh my goodness! It’s time for Justin Bieber! I know I can find great meaning in this. Ah, who am I kidding? I think he’s twelve, I don’t really get him, so let’s just enjoy the newest incarnation of teeny-bop pop and not look for the deeper meaning.

So finally, with about five minutes left we get to what we really came for. It’s time for the results. No results session would be complete without a recap of the songs and judges’ comments brought to you by Seacrest.

After the nationwide vote…the first person in the finale is Lee (yay – I’m a not-so-secret Lee fan!)

Joining Lee is Crystal! Time to say goodbye to Casey.

All in all, what did we learn from these results? To be quite honest, not much. The final two are Lee and Crystal who were pretty much the standouts from the beginning.

So here’s to you Casey James – with your flowing blonde locks and great guitar licks! Thanks for keeping your shirt on.

So, what did you think of the results? Were you happy to see Casey get the boot or was he robbed of a spot in the final two? Did you get teary when our Final Three visited home? And does anyone know why Perez Hilton is suddenly signing people to record contracts? Leave your comments/critiques/suggestions below and come on back next week for the finale of “American Idol!” –Chris Sardelli (and guest Katie)


Posted by Chris on May 19, 2010 10:38 PM
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