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American Idol Fodder

American Idol: Chicago Showdown

It all comes down to this. After 7 audition cities, 100,000 auditions, 14 weeks of live performances, 500 million votes and 18 cuts, it’s down to the final two contestants. But who will take the title of this year’s American Idol- Lee Dewyze or Crystal Bowersox?

Here’s how tonight’s two-hour spectacular went down:

8:01- This is “American Idol!”
8:02- Jordin Sparks sighting!
8:02:30- Ryan Seacrest tells us the two finalists’ vote counts only differed by 2 percent!
8:03- Oh no, we’ve just been reminded that this is the last night for Simon Cowell!! What will we do without him? Who will insult all the untalented singers now?
8:04- Lee and Crystal show up in Harry Potter uniforms. What’s up with that?
8:04:30- Live from Toledo, Ohio- it’s Crystal’s hometown fans!
8:05- Live from Mt. Prospect, Illinois- it’s Lee’s hometown fans!
8:05:30- The Top 12 are back for the return of the group number! Oh, how I’ve missed the corniness! And apparently school’s out for summer!
8:06- Cue the zombie children’s choir!
8:06:30- Cue zombie Alice Cooper! Oh, wait, that’s what Alice Cooper always looks like? Never mind.
8:07- At first I was afraid, I was petrified by Alice Cooper and his riding crop. Then, I remembered he’s actually a nice guy (“Wayne’s World” anybody?).
8:08- Cue zombie fireworks!
8:12- Last year’s Idol, Kris Allen, returns to the stage to sing his new single “The Truth.” And after the sound guys remembered to turn Seacrest’s mic off, we were good to go.
8:13- Allen sounds great, the song suits his voice and seems to be having lots of fun!
8:15- Simon offers Ryan a mint.
8:16- The Simon Cowell highlight reel, where we see Cowell’s reaction to William Hung (thank goodness that guy’s gone!), Simon laughing till he cried and Ryan and Randy cheering that he’s leaving.
8:18- Siobhan and Aaron (better known by their duo name “Glassblower and Rascal Flatts Junior”) ask us how deep is our love. I answer silently: “Not this deep.”
8:19- The Bee Gees are back! Why didn’t anyone introduce them?
8:20- This show is so weird. Do the producers visit the Old Singers Retirement Home each year and bring back whoever’s available?
8:22- A Hoff sighting!
8:26- Michael Lynche returns! (He so got robbed of his Final Three status.) He sings a few bars and introduces Michael McDonald (a.k.a. Kenny Rogers Lookalike Part 1).
8:29- Dane Cook sings the “Simon Says” insult song. Some of my favorites: “you look like the Hulk’s wife” and “you have the honor of Abe Lincoln and the charm of the guy who shot him.”
8:31- The annual parade of weirdos makes it way on stage, including that guy with the pimp hat and feather boa from last year. Oh, and some guy I don’t remember takes the microphone hostage and I think the producers cut to commercial a little early. I bet Dane Cook was none too happy.
8:34- This year’s Top 6 Women take the stage to sing “Beautiful” and “Fighter” by Christina Aguilera. Wow, they are killing these songs (and not in a good way). Good thing Christina isn’t here to hear this!
8:37- And here comes Christina Aguilera. Rocking a Judy Jetson hairdo. And a bootylicious outfit. But her singing sounds great.
8:42- Ricky Gervais roasts Simon via satellite. Too long and not very funny.
8:47- Lee and the rest of the Top 6 Guys sing Hall & Oates “I Can’t Go For That.” They sound way better than the ladies.
8:48- Please welcome Hall & Oates! (and look, it’s Kenny Rogers Lookalike Part 2)
8:52- Former Idol contestant Janell Wheeler reports live from Toledo, Ohio.
8:53- Crystal sings Alanis Morissette’s “Ironic.” What a perfect song choice for her!
8:54- Alanis is in the house! The two sing a duet of “You Oughta Know,” while bouncing off each other like they’re trapped in a pinball machine. This was a really good duet!
9:00- Five years ago Carrie Underwood was crowned an American Idol. Now she’s back to sing her new single “Undo It.” She sure has come a long way! She’s the most polished of all the former contestants and I love that she always comes back to where she started! (Oh, and side note, Kara and Carrie co-wrote that song!)
9:04- In the most chillax moment ever recorded in the history of “American Idol,” last year’s superchill winner Kris Allen presents this year’s super-relaxed finalists with their very own, custom-designed Ford Fiestas. A sample from the conversation: Kris: Hey guys, here’s some keys to some cars or something. It’s all cool man; Lee: Wow, thanks for the car. This is cool; Crystal: Let’s all chill and jam together. Or whatever.
9:05- A recap of all of this year’s Ford Music Videos, set to the tune of “My Wish.” My favorite parts: the ball pits, Casey as a waiter, the Matrix moments, Siobhan as a vampire and Aaron riding a bike. Classic!
9:06- Casey shows up again, this time singing “Every Rose Has Its Thorn.” But wait, that doesn’t mean, he can’t be here, waitadarnminute!!!!! Bret Michaels is in the house!
9:07- Casey’s internal monologue: “I’m playing guitar with Bret Freaking Michaels. This guy has a hole in his heart and he’s playing guitar with me!”
9:14- The Chicago medley. Lee tries his hand at Chicago’s “Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?” And then he sings a little bit of “If You Leave Me Now.” It all sounds good, though you can’t go wrong with a band that has a horn section!
9:18- Aunt Becky (Lori Loughlin) sighting!
9:18:30- Former contestant Matt Rogers is in Illinois with Lee’s fans!
9:19- The kiss heard round the world: when Paula fake-kissed Simon.
9:21- The return of General Larry Platt and “Pants on the Ground.” It’s so catchy! “Looking like a cool cat….”
9:22- Oh no, it’s William Hung again. I think that’s one of the signs of the apocalypse!
9:30- Paula Abdul makes her long-awaited return! She seems very close to snapping, tells Simon his illegitimate baby is backstage and congratulates him and tells him he’s totally replaceable all in one sentence.
9:35- The coolest moment in all of “Idol” history! Former winners Kelly Clarkson, Ruben Studdard, Fantasia, Carrie Underwood, Jordin Sparks, Taylor Hicks and Kris Allen all take the stage together! Awe-some! The only part that sucked was that David Cook wasn’t there with them! What happened to Cook?
9:36- Some of the other memorable contestants from the last 9 seasons joined together in song onstage as well, including David Archuleta, Michael Johns, Jason Castro, Ace Young, Alison Iraheta, Justin Guarini, Diana Degarmo, Elliot Yamin, Bo Bice, Blake Lewis and Matt Giraud.
9:38- Simon takes the stage and admits to being emotional, before complimenting the true judge of “Idol”- the audience!
9:45- Janet Jackson turns the rest of the night into the Janet Jackson concert.
9:52- A recap of Lee and Crystal’s journey, which started with the two of them in line together way back in Chicago!
9:54- Lee and Crystal sing “The Wonder Years” theme song with Joe Cocker. All three sound awesome and Crystal seems to be in her glory next to Cocker.
10:01- So, who will win “American Idol?” Crystal is anxious, but Lee looks like he is about to pass out!
10:02- Lee Dewyze wins “American Idol!!!!” And then he almost walks off stage out of sheer surprise!
10:03- Ryan asks him how he feels, to which he responds: “I’m so happy right now!”

And with that, Lee Dewyze takes the title! So, here’s to you Lee, you hung in there even though you were too humble to think you could win! You’ve come a long way from that paint store! And here’s another shoutout to Crystal Bowersox! Your vocals are awesome, your style is unique and even though you came in second, you and your dreadlocks will still be making some great music!

Well, that about wraps it up for this season! What did you think of the final vote? Did Lee deserve to win or was Crystal robbed of her crown? Will you buy Lee’s first album? Were you happy to see so many former Idols return to the stage, and were you disappointed David Cook wasn’t among them? Shouldn’t Carrie Underwood be crowned the Ultimate Idol? What did you think of Paula’s return to the Idol stage? And are you bawling your eyes out because you’ll never see Simon on “Idol” again? Post your comments one more time, get ready for this summer’s live Idol tour and we’ll see you next January for Season 10 of “American Idol!” –Chris Sardelli

Posted by Chris on May 27, 2010 8:39 AM
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