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American Idol Fodder

American Idol: Idol Gives Back

What can you say about a night that included Russell Brand’s bed head, a Wanda Sykes roast, a host of stars promoting various charities, an elimination and Justin Bieber? You call it “Idol Gives Back,” that’s what you do! Here’s how tonight’s strange, strange show went down, minute by minute (almost):

8:00- The Obamas make a surprise visit! And the President gives a shout out to “all his dawgs” Randy-style!
8:03- We meet our co-host for the night- Queen Latifah, who’s broadcasting from Pasadena, along with 2,000 of her closest friends.
8:04- The Top 12 unveil their new white outfits. The song’s called “Keep the Dream Alive,” but it’s a snoozefest. It picks up near the end, though it sounds more like a Broadway musical.
8:07- Jennifer Garner travels to Kentucky to promote the Save the Children charity.
8:11- Victoria Beckham returns to educate people about poverty in the U.S.
8:17- Captain Sully Sullenberger, from the famous landing on the Hudson, asks America to save thousands of lives around the world.
8:18- Russell “Bed Head” Brand and Jonah “Superbad” Hill drop by to ask for donations. Oh and to make fun of “that pale boy from Twilight” while dropping Viagra jokes.
8:19- Ryan talks to Tim Urban. Cue the Muppets!
8:20- The Black Eyed Peas stop at the “Idol” stage to show off Fergie’s new She-Ra look. (Seriously, just hand that woman a sword!) Singing “Rock That Body,” the Peas look utterly bored as they perform what can only be called bad spoken word.
8:25- Ryan reminds us this is still a results show. It’s so weird!
8:32- George Lopez dims the lights and then roasts the judges. He tells Randy “you’re the only brother on the show, so you’re safe,” calls Kara “Carla DeGuido,” asks why Ellen isn’t dancing and tells Simon to get a large t-shirt and go back to England.
8:40- The Ford Music Video shows us flying fruit, Matrix moments and Big Mike in a fireman outfit.
8:41- Ryan reads some of our results. In a showdown between Crystal and Casey, Casey is sent to the bottom three and Crystal safe. Then it’s Aaron and Lee’s turn, and Aaron is sent to the bottom three.
8:44- Jeff Beck plays guitar as Joss Stone sings “I Put a Spell on You.”
8:47- Quick guest spots from David “Mulder” Duchovny, Chris Rock, Jane “Glee” Lynch and Justin Bieber.
8:52- A few words from the United Nations Secretary General.
8:52- Ryan morphs into Morgan Freeman! Not really, it’s just Morgan Freeman talking about his trip to Mississippi with Randy to support literacy.
8:58- Alicia Keys sings “Unthinkable” and “Empire State of Mind Part II.” The first song was blah, the second song was much better.
9:04- Josh Groban wants you to donate! Do it already!
9:08- Russell and Jonah are back with a Woody Allen clone and two Tom Cruises (though only the “Risky Business” Tom looks believable. Sorta. OK, not really). We also meet Justin Bieber’s cousin and Octomom! Then the comedy (?) duo insults last year’s contestant Tatiana Del Toro by calling her Clay Aiken, before hanging up Slash’s phone. No wonder Jim Carey runs away!
9:11- Back in Pasadena, Carrie Underwood sings “Change.”
9:16- Ellen and David Arquette go to California.
9:25- Ryan sits down for a chat about global healthcare with Bill and Melinda Gates.
9:29- Wanda Sykes roasts Simon, laughs about how each week the loser has to sing before they get kicked off and accurately asks how anyone will get up the nerve to kick Big Mike off the show!!
9:31- More Results! Ryan calls Siobhan, Mike and Tim down to center stage.
9:32- Cut to Ellen looking morose! Cheer up Ellen!
9:33- Siobhan is safe! Mike is safe! Tim is in the bottom three! (Thank goodness!)
9:34- David Cook travels to Ethiopia to shed light on girls in servitude.
9:43- A video of Annie Lennox’s trip to Africa, plus a prerecorded performance because she got stuck in England due to the Icelandic volcano.
9:56- Mary J. Blige’s all-star band! Including Travis Barker, Orianthi and Randy Jackson! How could this get stranger? How about by making them sing “Stairway to Heaven!” Actually, this wasn’t bad. Randy and Orianthi rocked on guitar, Mary had the best vocals of the night and Travis was rockin those drums!
10:01- Simon travels to Arizona to meet Dr. John and his mobile hospital which treats 5,000 children a year!
10:04- Ben Affleck wants you to donate! What are you waiting for?
10:09- Elton John sings “Your Song.”
10:20- “Idol Gives Back” is over. Did you donate yet? Now, it’s time for the dreaded results. Would someone be going home tonight? It’s looking like Ryan is actually going to give someone the boot during a telethon. Wow! First, he sends Aaron to safety, leaving Tim and Casey in the bottom two. Which would it be? Well, Tim’s luck finally ran out and he was sent home!

So, here’s to you Tim Urban, the contestant most likely to end up on Sesame Street. You smiled even when the judges criticized you, proving that you’re the Energizer Bunny of Criticism (or at least the second coming of Sanjaya minus the crying girl). Good job getting this far and we’ll see you on the Idol tour.

What did you think of tonight’s extravaganza? Do you think “Idol” succeeded in raising awareness about a host of charities, or do you think they should have saved this for its own special? Did Tim deserve to go home tonight, should it have been another singer, or should the producers have spared the singers an elimination? And was I the only one finding it hard to take Ryan seriously on any of this? Post below and be back next week as the Top 6 tackles Shania Twain’s songs (what the?!). –Chris Sardelli

Posted by Chris on April 22, 2010 1:33 AM
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