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American Idol Fodder

American Idol: Country Roads Lead To Nowhere

pickler.jpgNow when I look at Seacrest, all I can think of are those Us magazine pictures where he's making out with Teri Hatcher. Tabloid heebie-jeebies aside, there was plenty to be grossed out with in this episode: 1) It was country night; and 2) Kenny Rogers has what has to be the worst plastic surgeon on the planet.

Taylor Hicks kicked off the night, and did OK. I like the hyperactive Taylor ... the "getting-jiggy-with-it" Taylor. I think the judges may have knocked him down a peg in the past, wanting him to play down his crazy antics and pump up his vocals, but give the people what they want, dammit. It was sorely needed in his otherwise bland performance tonight.

Shania Twain was not working for Mandisa. Her vocals sounded off -- and I never thought I'd say that about her. I would have liked to have seen her kick out "9 to 5."

Ryan made a really good comment about Simon's love life tonight, and Simon (being Simon) had no problem telling him "at least I'm not trying to look like someone out of Desperate Housewives." Oooh -- snap! Unfortunately, this playful banter was the highlight of the night.

I wasn't sure what Garth Brooks song Elliot sang, but he did it well. I just wish he'd get out of the ballad thing. I wouldn't buy an album full of ballads that didn't have the K-Tel seal of approval. And part of me just needs to see his dance moves.

Country night just isn't doing it for me. Paris was OK, but I was so annoyed by the song -- being overplayed and all -- I just couldn't appreciate it.

Oh Ace ... the boy band thing just isn't doing it for me anymore -- and hasn't been for a few weeks. Adding in the Mariah-style wailing at the end didn't score you any extra points either.

I knew this would be the week to pick Pickler as a top contender. It's her thing and her genre, and the low-cut top didn't hurt either. It also proved that something was very wrong with this theme.

Chris Daughtry tried something different this week and performed Keith Urban -- is everyone happy now? Thankfully, it worked for him.

I really like what Katherine McPhee did tonight. I don't think she is the best singer, but she can work it. Plus, I appreciated how she did something different than everyone else.

It's hard to believe that the producers picked Bucky to close the show. Is this the Bizarro World or what? It must be since his hat changed color this week. Maybe we were actually watching Rocky. Maybe we will never know, but in another strange move, I actually expected more out of him this week.

I'm with Simon -- who picks these themes? It must be the same people doing the makeup and light shows. Tonight's episode made me want to vote off the entire lot, but if I have to change the locks on someone, it would have to be Ace. He's no stranger to the bottom three, and tonight's country roads will hopefully be taking him home sooner than later. -- Rachel Cericola

Mac's Rambling Thoughts from this Episode

• What's the over-under on the total number of Kenny Rogers' face lifts? I put it at 5.

• I fear someone "cautioned" Taylor about his dancing. For the last two weeks he's been stationary and I don't like it all.

• It pains me to say this, but the judges' comments about Taylor's "Country Road" performance were appropriate -- it just didn't have that "Taylor spark." Nonetheless, the Soul Patrol must live on!

• Country music night didn't do anyone any favors. If Taylor and Mandisa both sucked, then you know something is off.

•: I'm pretty sure Randy's red vest is the same one I wore to my senior prom.

• My wife noted that Elliott is this year's "Idol" makeover champ. But here's the weird thing: Neither of us can figure out what the stylists tweaked. Is it his hair? Is it the goatee? Are they using some sort of super-secret Elliott Yamin HD filter during the broadcast?

• Just once, I want a contestant to listen to Paula's comments and respond: "What the hell did you just say?"

• I was stunned when Randy and Paula dissed Paris and then Simon whipped out a positive review. Has that ever happened before?

• I can't believe I'm about to write this, but I actually dislike Ace more than I dislike Bucky. Between the beanies and the shaky voice and that friggin' scar, he gets on my nerves.

• Falsettos are Paula's kryptonite (Ace, of course, whipped one out). She's powerless against men who sing like Bee Gees.

• Assuming Kellie makes it to the next round, I highly suggest focusing on her eyebrows when she sings. Those buggers perform gymnastics routines!

Chris had a HUGE night tonight. His versatility was on full display and he put a lot of the "Chris can only rock" naysayers to shame.

• There's no denying Katharine's talent, but I keep waiting for her to own one of these nights and it just hasn't happened. She hasn't had her "Kelly moment" yet.

• When Bucky sings I feel like I'm in a world where I'm the only one who thinks he can't sing. Sure, he can hold a note or two (and yes, he can sing a hell of a lot better than I ever could), but c'mon people, listen to the guy. His performances are horrendous.

• And finally, a note to the "Idol" producers: never, ever have a country music night again. -- Mac Slocum

Posted by Rachel Cericola on April 4, 2006 8:58 PM
Permalink |

Chris was fabulous and here's why: Every note he sings sounds good. No garnish needed. Just sit there and sing. Like what Kenny told Elliot to do.


I still say Kellie has no affect.

Taylor let me down (what was with that violinist?)

Are the Prince rumors true? That could be fabulous(Barry Manilowesque)

-- 1. Posted by: jlou at April 4, 2006 9:35 PM

Bottom three: Bucky, Ace, Paris.

-- 2. Posted by: junger at April 5, 2006 8:12 AM

very true about elliot...i think it's a hair product/goatee combo, but it's still mysterious.

kellie pickler needs to stop with the eyebrows and also with the weird knee-bending/finger pointing she does at completely irrelevant times. whyyyy are you pointing at me all the time? i didn't do anything.

i think taylor is reading hater's blogs and toning it all down for them. my man needs an intervention.

if i were a contestant i'd say 'excuse me?' every time paula spoke just to see if she'd be able to repeat all the nonsense again. she must be stopped.

-- 3. Posted by: Amy at April 5, 2006 10:12 AM

My vote for bottom three:
Bucky,Ace, and Mandisa
-She won't go but I think it might her turn in the bottom three.
-Athough Bucky always seems to slip through because of some tone deaf fan base.
-My vote is on Ace leaving, wow I never thought someone that attractive would annoy me so much.

*I Love Chris!*

-- 4. Posted by: Jen at April 5, 2006 1:29 PM

Sorry to disagree people but Bucky can sing, as been on-key more than any other singer and people love him. Get over it already!

-- 5. Posted by: Tamm at April 5, 2006 1:58 PM

I refuse to get over it. He can't sing. Nor do I care if people love him. People loved Constantine too ;)

(duck and cover ...)

-- 6. Posted by: mac at April 5, 2006 2:01 PM

I honestly don't deny that Bucky can sing. Is he the best? Absolutely not.

However, I just can't get past his speaking voice and fashion sense. No talent can make up for that!

-- 7. Posted by: Rachel at April 5, 2006 2:02 PM

Damn. ITA with Mac - dear producers, do not ever do that again. Ever.

Was it just me, or has The Gambler's hairline been restructured or something?! Aside from his scaring me at first, I thought he was one of the only 'musical guests' to ever come on Idol and actually give GOOD advice that would help out. If the contestants would have listened, the show might have been better. The man knows music, you can tell. Why he doesn't actually sing it, I don't know.

I cannot be the only one who was completely unnerved by Kellie singing a song about a girl forced into teenage prostitution like she was performing for her local seniors, can I?!?

-- 8. Posted by: Sher at April 5, 2006 6:11 PM

Sher: It wasn't Kenny's hairline... I think he's just been pulled back too much... it has changed the whole structure of his face!

-- 9. Posted by: Rachel at April 5, 2006 6:35 PM

I think that's it, Rachel - his face has been pulled and stretched so much that nothing's in the right place anymore. Whoa. LOL!

-- 10. Posted by: Sher at April 6, 2006 12:19 PM

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