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American Idol Fodder

American Idol: Hollywood Pt. 2

AIjudges.jpgThis is no longer "American Idol;" it's a spotlight on the Brittenum twins -- and I don't like it!

Now I have to think, if the wonder twins had never had legal troubles, would the show be featuring them as much as they are? Stop the madness, I say.

About three minutes in, Terrell Brittenum was already bitching about someone. What did I ever see in this guy and more importantly, when is he leaving? I was sad that he made it through to the next round, but was glad that the judges got to see some of his true colors. No one likes a stooley, big guy.

Derrell, in true Brittenum fashion, needed to say his peace as well. Also in true Brittenum fashion, he had no friggin' clue what he was talking about and thought the judges had kicked his brother off. So they were both shown the door. Turns out they handle their singing careers as well as their criminal careers. It was the funniest moment of the night though.

Sadly, they were allowed to come back, but that feeling will be fleeting, so I do have something to look forward to after all.

Loved the cowboys. They were just so darn cute. Unfortunately, they weren't very good, but the team effort was a nice change of pace. Sad to see my little cowpoke Garet go home.

So far, I have three front-runners, all of which I don't know by name. OK -- my choice for the next "American Idol" is Paris. That girl has it and ain't no one going to take it away. However, I wouldn't mind seeing the gray-haired guy and the bald guy who always wears the cowboy hat and is married to the woman with two kids make it as well. I promise to learn their names if they give me the chance. Judging by what I have seen so far, that time will come.

Of course, the night couldn't be complete without a Brittenum hug. Hug it out, bitches. Your final countdown has begun. -- Rachel Cericola

Mac's Rambling Thoughts from This Episode

• I don't hate the "group" episode as much as the auditions, but it ranks a close second on my ire-o-meter. Last time I checked, "Idol" was a solo artist contest. So why do we have solo belters singing back-up and doing those embarrassing hand movements?

• Teachers across the land, this one is for you: This episode of "American Idol" proves, undeniably, that group projects do not work.

• When did Elton John turn into a pair of African American twins? The Brittenum boys put on a display of diva behavior that hasn't been seen since Mariah Carey crashed Whitney Houston's July 4th barbecue (I don't know if that ever happened, but I like to think it did).

A few more Brittenum bits:

  1. Terrell Brittenum is an ass. He should have been booted for screwing up the words. If that wasn't enough, he should have been tossed for throwing his other group-mates under the bus.

  2. But hold on a minute! Derrell Brittenum, his brother, is even more of an ass because he tossed his own brother under the bus and he didn't even know it. This is exactly why diva behavior needs to be nipped in the bud. If you're going to get all pissy in front of the judges, make sure you've got your facts right. What a moron. Good thing he and Terrell have that other career to fall back on.

  3. Despite the Brittenum's bitch sessions, they still made it through. I wonder if the producers had anything to say about the decision to keep them around ...

• Those Rat Packer crooners could take their act to Vegas and do very, very well for themselves. I think they're dead meat in this competition (belters and wailers will always beat crooners), but those croonin' boys have got some serious chops.

• You should not be able to switch groups. I can't believe they allowed that to happen.

• "Beat my bare behind" ... Perhaps the greatest lyric screw-up ever.

• Coming next fall on Fox: Garet Layne Johnson is "The Littlest Cowboy." -- Mac Slocum

Posted by Rachel Cericola on February 14, 2006 9:06 PM
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