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30 Rock Fodder

30 Rock: Subway Hero

Jack hunts for guest stars, and his single-minded purpose brings nothing but pain. Check out how this trickles down:

1. Jack learns of a local celebrity, a man who saved someone's life in the subway. Everyone is trying to book this "subway hero" onto the show, but Jack has an inside track: Liz. Why? Because the subway hero is one of her old boyfriends, Dennis, who she dumped after he was profiled on Dateline as a suspected sexual predator.

But that's all in the past. Supposedly exonerated, he's now a hero, so Liz obeys and asks Dennis to guest star on "T.G.S." He agrees, primarily because he believes Liz is interested in rekindling their relationship. The thing is... she might be. Sure, he disgusts her on so many levels. But he makes her laugh. One minute she's resisting his filthy charms, the next they're tag team bullying Toofer in the Writer's Room and going out to dinner. Jenna insists that Liz is "settling" with Dennis; Liz counters that her easy relationship with Dennis is, well, easier.

Even so, Jenna's argument nags at her, until Dennis proposes to her on a crowded street. She turns him down, initially drawing the crowd's disdain, but Dennis fritters away their support by arguing with Liz (and calling the crowd names). Jack changes his mind, and decides their guest star will be a bird that dialed 9-1-1, and Liz gladly dismisses Dennis. Still, he takes the news hard, so she tries to cheer him up, following him down to the subway... where he gets the idea of "saving" her in order to reclaim his notoriety. Unfortunately for him, the train takes another track before he can drag Liz in front of, and then under, the speeding cars.

Losers: Liz, Dennis, Toofer, Michael Bloomberg, Celebrity Gawkers, New York City Residents, "The Hours"
Winners: The Rescue Bird

2. Jack is also hosting a fundraising event for John McCain, and his search for the most prominent Republic stars prompts Jonathan to hunt down Bucky Bright (Tim Conway), a former television star forgotten by everyone but Kenneth. Jack rudely dismisses Bucky, but Kenneth gladly takes Bucky on a tour of the studio, hoping to hear stories about the good old days. And that's exactly what he gets: story after nauseating story, filled with disturbing details that Kenneth's innocent ears would rather not hear. Worse, Bucky won't leave. He wanders the halls all night, forcing Kenneth to host him another day.

When Kenneth can't take anymore, he begs Bucky to stop soiling his perception of early TV years. Curiously, it's only as Kenneth announces one of his bizzare errands for Tracy does he realize how little has changed over the years, and suddenly the tables are turned. Kenneth begins regaling Bucky with the way things are now.

Losers: Jonathan, Kenneth, Bucky, The Good Old Days, The Art of Storytelling, Innocence, Conan O'Brien
Winners: I can't think of any...

3. Continuing his search for Republican celebrities, Jack discovers an alarming shortage. He attempts to persuade Tracy into joining the Republic party, but is stymied by Dot Com's sage political insights. But after an incident with a screwdriver and electricity, Tracy hallucinates/dreams the Ghosts of Richard Nixon and Sammy Davis Jr. talk him into participating. He agrees to film a commercial urging African-Americans ("Blackmericans") to vote Republican, which even Jack agrees is ill-advised and futile. Finally they reach a compromise, and Tracy's new message is simply this: Don't vote. Go play pool instead.

Losers: Jack, Tracy, Republicans, Democrats, African-Americans, Anything on the receiving end of Tracy's Screwdriver, Richard Nixon, Sammy Davis Jr.
Winners: Pool Hall Owners, Dot Com

Posted by Chad on April 18, 2008 1:19 PM
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